


in your tattooed heart

by yournabi



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Are, CrazyRichGays, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Girlfriends - Freeform, Rich - Freeform, misatzu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2020-06-29 23:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 126,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19840972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yournabi/pseuds/yournabi
Summary: Nayeon is in frantic need of an escape from the city and her whole idol life. She only knows one person who can help.Or,Im Nayeon is reminded of the life she didn’t choose. She and Jeongyeon can never be just friends.





	1. Prelude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not too hard to understand the complexity of Jeongyeon’s life right now. She's going through a rough patch, has to deal with bills and taxes all the while trying to keep herself alive, mentally and physically, and then the universe decides to throw in an ex to complete the package.

“Shall we die together?”

You whispered to me

At the night of firefly.

**Suzuki Masajo**

***

Jeongyeon read about it once. She’s seeing things. The lack of access to actual food is causing the 28-year-old woman to hallucinate.

That’s it. She’s hallucinating. Her mind is playing dangerous tricks on her. That’s the only rational explanation for the three words before her, striking even with the low brightness of her phone screen.

_I’m outside. –Nayeon_

That’s it. The lack of accountability for herself and her body is taking a toll on her cognizance. She’s hallucinating. None of this is real. Because there is no fucking way Im Nayeon is messaging her after six years of not recognizing each other’s presence.

_How would she even know my number?_

That’s right. This isn’t Nayeon. This is probably just some bored kid messaging random phone numbers and it just so happened to be hers unfortunately selected.

That’s it. Nothing’s wrong here. Jeongyeon tosses her phone away, watching as the device haphazardly lands on the unkempt white spreading of her bed. She decides a shower will do her some peace of mind so she grabs her towel on the drying rack and heads over to the bathroom across the hall.

***

Park Jihyo answers after the fourth ring. _“Yes?”_

“Are you sure you gave me the right address and number?” Nayeon doesn’t even greet, impatiently tapping her boot-clad foot on the pavement a few steps away from the front door of the small wooden bungalow.

A snarky scoff resounds from the other line. Nayeon can vividly imagine the confident look on her best friend’s face _. "I’m pretty sure, Nayeon. I’ve visited her a lot of times.”_

“How about the number?”

_“It’s hers as well.”_

Nayeon sulks. If that’s the case then why hasn’t she gotten any reply yet? “Are you sure?”

 _“Yes, Nayeon.”_ Jihyo answers, sounding equally frustrated and exhausted.

Nayeon’s chill about it. Everybody knows Jihyo’s the last person in the world to get annoyed _annoyed_ at her. 

_"Unlike you, I kept in touch with Jeongyeon."_

Somewhere inside the older woman is a painful sting called the truth. Nayeon decides not to cause any dispute anymore. She stares at the house in front of her instead, nerves causing her hands to tremble.

_Jeongyeon lives in that?_

The house is surrounded by a variation of bare trees with tall trunks, built in wood just like all the other houses in the small neighborhood. What looks to be the front yard is covered by a layer of snow with only the stoned pathway leading to the front door viewable. There’s smoke coming out from the bricked chimney on top. Someone’s home.

 _And that someone is Yoo Jeongyeon_. She is inside that small wooden bungalow. Nayeon’s heart is restless. She’s beginning to ponder on her impulsiveness. 

The prolonged indecisive silence from the other line tells Jihyo the older girl is regretting her decision only now. She won’t argue with that. From the very beginning when Nayeon asked for Jeongyeon’s phone number and address, she already knew this was going to be a bad idea. Despite the intuition, Jihyo didn’t stop Nayeon.

Somewhere at the back of her mind, she thinks maybe this is good for the older girl. Maybe this is a way to rebuild the broken bridges between the two; to at least finally get some closure.

 _“Do you want me to call her now_?” There’s pity in Jihyo’s tone. She doesn’t have to admit it. Everyone knows she has a soft spot for the conceited idol. _“I can tell her you’re visiting.”_

“No! Don’t!” Nayeon’s voice only raises a decibel loud. “Don’t tell her anything!”

If Jeongyeon gets a heads up that her ex will be visiting her after six years, she’ll have time to think and say no (and probably run off). That will leave Nayeon homeless and cold for the next few weeks. She didn’t fly for four hours, rode a train for an hour, and rode a cab for another, all for nothing.

“I’ll call her myself.”

Nayeon only realizes the trouble she’s put herself in to after Jihyo relents and hangs up with a goodbye and a “ _Don’t mess this up, Im.”_

It takes the 29-year-old ten minutes to exit from the recent call logs and open her messages. A new set of numbers rests on the topmost portion of her inbox, the unanswered message to Jeongyeon glaring back at her, mocking her helpless soul.

Nayeon, after one deep inhale of faux courage, taps the handset symbol that redirects her to the dialing call. It takes a beat before the sound of ringing resonates. Her heart begins breaking through her ribcage, joining the rhythm. 

Halfway through the cadence ringing, Nayeon's fear of rejection decides to end the call. Waiting for someone like Jeongyeon—who, she remembers, doesn’t really answer phone calls until it’s the 50th attempt—will get her nowhere. If she wants something done here, she has to do it by herself. 

And so, with every being inside of her, the older woman decides thrust herself into the snow-covered road, crossing the street and ending up right in front of the door.

Nayeon takes another deep inhale.

Then she presses the doorbell.

***

Jeongyeon’s busy drying her hair with her damp towel in front of the mirror when the doorbell begins chiming, echoing inside the house. At first it was only one patient ring, but just before Jeongyeon can even wrap her hair with the towel, the chiming begins to sound like a nursery song, continuously being hammered on like some toy.

_It’s too late for trick or treating now, right?_

The pajama-clad woman frowns as she stomps her way to the door. She’s not expecting any guests at such a time like this. It’s 10:39 for god’s sake!

_Maybe it’s the pizza guy getting the wrong address again…_

At the prospect of free food, Jeongyeon's steps become lighter and careless, a wide grin replacing her frown.

It’s a small neighborhood with houses that look very much alike. Pizza delivery guys often get the wrong house.

Jeongyeon opens the door without any second of hesitation. “About time you arrived! I thought--…”

But it’s not a pizza delivery guy standing in front of her.

Without even a sense of what’s coming out of her mouth and what she’s doing, Jeongyeon slams the door close after a frantic and loud, “You’re not the pizza guy!” Her heart is pounding inside her chest as she leans her back onto the door.

The pizza guy is _definitely_ not a tall, statuesque woman with jet black wavy hair cascading down to the chest, rosy plump cheeks and luscious red lips, clad in a black turtleneck dress and a full-length black fur mink coat, hauling a Louis Vuitton luggage behind her and a Burberry tote bag over the shoulders.

_Nope. That is not the pizza guy._

Jeongyeon drags her body off the door and begins frantically pacing back and forth, trying to knock some sense into her brain. She’s probably hallucinating again.

 _But why does it look so real?_ For a split second there, it _actually_ looks like Im Nayeon— _the Im Nayeon—_ is standing right outside of her door.

Jeongyeon shakes her head. _That can’t be Nayeon._ Nayeon broke up with her six years ago and gave her up for the idol life. That Nayeon, the one that _once_ existed in her life—and played a _big_ role in it—is busy now, somewhere in Korea, living the life she dreamed of. The one without Jeongyeon in it.

 _Yep. That can’t be Nayeon. No._ Why would _that_ Nayeon ever pay her a visit? It’s not like--…

“Hey, Jeong?”

 _Jeong?!_ Jeongyeon’s mind short-circuits. The familiar mixture of the affectionate tone and the old nickname only belongs to one person.

_No no no no no no no—_

“Can you please open the door for me?”

The voice suddenly sounds softer.

 _Oh God. It sounds just like her. But it can't be her, right?_ Jeongyeon decides maybe the universe is just playing tricks on her, reminding her to eat properly again and to take care of herself. _Yep that's it._

_Can hallucinations feel and sound so real though? I think I should go see a psychiatrist now. Seungyeon unnie might know someone—_

“Jeongyeon? It’s me, Nayeon.”

***

Nayeon should have known it was too good to be true.

Of course Jeongyeon won’t welcome her with open arms. She decided to end such a good relationship with the woman and fled off to the city to enjoy the idol life. She avoided any sort of contact with Jeongyeon for six whole years.

Why in the world would Jeongyeon want to see the same woman who broke her heart?

With a dejected sigh that turns into a white cloud of vaporized breath, just like her last glimmer of hope turning into dust and being whisked away by the breeze, Nayeon begins looking for the nearest hotel or inn that she can probably settle in for the night. Her skin can no longer endure the piercing winter breeze even with her long sleeves and full-length mink fur coat.

The nearest place is a three-star inn with no reviews, about an hour’s ride from where Nayeon is at. Jeongyeon’s house is located in a small village in a town right off the map. It’s 10PM and the snowfall is growing heavier by the hour.

Nayeon sighs again, this time feeling awfully hopeless and defeated. There’s no way she can walk to the nearest station with her heavy luggage and wait for a cab to miraculously pass by. She will probably die of hypothermia before the latter happens.

_Maybe this is my punishment for being greedy._

Whatever.

Nayeon pulls up the handle of her luggage and begins dragging it down the steps of Jeongyeon’s front porch. With her other hand, she begins typing a message to Jihyo.

In the middle of _it didn’t work ou—_ though, Nayeon hears the sound of a door being unlocked.

“Hey.”

The voice sends shivers down Nayeon’s spine. She looks over her shoulders and sees _her_ , dressed in a white pajama set and a towel wrapped around her head.

“Come inside.” The tone is soft but empty and cold. Painful, almost. Nayeon knows she deserves it. She’s still frozen on her feet though, standing and gaping in shock at the sight of Yoo Jeongyeon after six years.

A split second passes by and Jeongyeon, uncomfortable at the familiar feeling of having Nayeon so close again, decides to leave the door open and walk inside.

Nayeon only snaps out of her reverie then.

***

Jeongyeon’s house is warm and cozy, everything Nayeon’s seven billion-won apartment in Hannam will never be.

The moment she steps inside, the first thing she sees is the small living room.

There’s a white upholstered sofa that can probably seat three to four people. Across the sofa is a small wooden coffee table and across that is brick fireplace lit up. Beside the fireplace is a cheap dollar store Christmas tree wrapped with colorful fairy lights. There aren’t any gifts underneath. 

Nayeon likes the vibe of the house. With its wooden walling and the scent of citrus and pine trees, the older woman feels like she’s traveled into another universe. A whole universe filled with just Jeongyeon and her.

***

Jeongyeon feels a headache creeping in. She takes a dangerous peek over her shoulders to check if she really just isn't losing her mind and sees the woman seated on her sofa, craning her neck and looking around patiently like an awkward visitor. 

“Aish!” the younger woman hisses frustratingly. _It's really her!_

She goes back to what she’s doing: rummaging through cupboards for any sign of food or drink to offer. To her dismay, she’s ransacked everything and almost tore off the cabinet door, and still hasn’t found anything edible to present. They usually offer tea or coffee when there’s a visitor around but Jeongyeon has nothing. She’s broke. Working as a fulltime cashier in a small grocery store downtown does not pay well.

Adulting sucks when you’re actually at the phase already. Now she only has water to offer to her unexpected visitor.

Jeongyeon pulls out the last remaining half-emptied bottle of mineral water in her mini-fridge and pours it all down in the only expensive-looking Made in China glassware she owns. Once she’s filled it up to the brim, she places it on a plastic tray complete with the coaster she had to save up for, and delivers it to her guest.

_How do I say this…?_

“Uh, I haven’t done my groceries yet so…the only thing I can offer you is water.” Jeongyeon sheepishly scratches the back of her head.

Nayeon, though, looks a little too elated for just a glass of water. She takes it without any hesitation and thanks Jeongyeon vigorously before chugging the whole glass down in one go.

Jeongyeon only watches, dumbfounded. The older woman drank the whole glass like it was nothing but that was _her last_ supply of water. Now she might as well thirst to death. She couldn’t even get a glass for herself.

With a frown and a parched throat, Jeongyeon proceeds to ask _the_ question. “What are you doing here?”

She knows she should have asked the other important, less abrasive questions like _how did you know where I live?_ or _was it really you who messaged me?_ but no, she’s got no time to beat around the bush anymore.

This is _the_ Im Nayeon seated before her for god’s sake!

“I’m sorry for appearing out of nowhere.” Nayeon decides to start with that and Jeongyeon fights the urge to scoff pathetically.

If there is one thing Im Nayeon is most talented at, it’s running away from her problems. (Aside from singing, acting, dancing, and modeling)

Jeongyeon patiently leans her side on the bookshelf she put up to divide her small living room from her combined kitchen and dining area. She decides to let the woman continue with her pathetic explanation.

“I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation so I’ll just go straight to the point.” Nayeon takes a deep breath. She puts on her best acting skill for this one. “I’m here because I need your help.”

“What kind of help?” A little part of Jeongyeon wished Nayeon would have wanted something else. _Closure, perhaps._

“I’m going to be shooting a drama and my character is someone who has grown up in the province. The director and my manager urged me learn how to live in rural places naturally first before signing the contract. I don’t know anyone who can help. Everyone I know live in the city...”

“And then I remembered you…” The older woman gulps down a boulder in her throat. "I thought maybe you could help me learn the life in the province?”

There’s a certain emotion Jeongyeon is trying to push back.

Envy.

She’s envious of how Nayeon gets to live so freely and shamelessly, acting as if whatever happened between them wasn’t of any importance, as if they’re still the best of friends like before.

Apart from that, Jeongyeon is angry.

How can Nayeon be so unabashed shoving her presence out of nowhere and asking for something from her after everything that happened?

“Did you really think I would say yes to you?” It leaves her lips in a forceful tone, seething in spite of the passive expression on her face. “Has fame really made you that naïve, Im Nayeon?”

Jeongyeon’s always been so good at letting the silence embody her emotions. She makes Nayeon squirm under her scrutiny. “I don’t know what made you think I would agree to your plan, but that's not going to happen.”

She grabs the emptied Made in China glassware on her small coffee table. “If you want to go experience the province life then go somewhere far away from here. Stay in some fancy hotel suite and not my house. You have no right coming back like nothing happened.”

Jeongyeon eyes Nayeon with a glare before making her way to back the kitchen.

***

Im Nayeon can only watch and blink in tremor at how her plan had definitely backfired at her. She never meant to imply anything bad to Jeongyeon. Heck, all she ever wanted was to see the younger girl again and possibly spend some time with her, and talk. Just _talk._

Jeongyeon spends a little too long in the kitchen for just one glass of water so Nayeon, afraid to cause any more trouble, pulls out her phone and begins to finish her draft message to Jihyo.

_It didn’t work out. Please pick me up :(_

The moment she sends the message, Jeongyeon returns from the kitchen. Her face looks a lot calmer now but Nayeon is still holding her breath, anxious.

“You should go.” Jeongyeon’s voice is also a lot calmer now but still, painful. “I don’t want to say anything else anymore.”

If anything, seeing Jeongyeon disappointed is a lot more excruciating for Nayeon than to see her angry.

She _almost_ obliges but then the sight of the heavy snowfall from out of Jeongyeon’s windows in the living room reminds the older woman of her predicament over going outside again. She will die of hypothermia if she sets foot outside and pushes through the harsh weather.

Nayeon _is not_ doing that. “Uh, can I…wait here instead?”

She regrets saying it the moment Jeongyeon swiftly turns to look at her dead in the eye, surprised of the audacity. “Are you really--…”

“No!” Nayeon shots back defensively. Realizing her voice shot up a decibel, she sighs and softly reasons out, “I…I mean…it’s really, _really_ cold outside right now, Jeong--…”

“Don’t call me that.” 

Nayeon ignores the dagger that pierces through her heart. “Can I wait for Jihyo here? I won’t bother you! I’ll just, sit down and keep quiet. Please.” Her eyes are begging for her.

Jeongyeon knows this is a bad idea. The sight of Nayeon only irks her more.

But she’s not a pathetic, heartless loser (unlike the older woman in front of her…) and she will not allow herself to become the nation's enemy should Nayeon die of hypothermia because of her rejection, so she relents. Only this time.

“Make sure I don’t hear anything, Im.” She narrows her eyes threateningly. She _tries_. (Everyone knows Jeongyeon can never be scary and mean)

Nayeon nods like a kid agreeing to the conditions of her parents before getting her toy. “I promise!”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. “I’m going to sleep. Make sure you lock the door when you leave.”

With one last (secret) glance at the older woman, Jeongyeon walks back to her room, leaving Nayeon alone in the living room.

***

Once Jeongyeon is finally out of sight, Nayeon stands up and looks around the humble abode of her ex. She decides to take a stroll down memory lane through the pictures and frames mounted on the wall, each of Jeongyeon in different stages of her life.

There are those Nayeon remembers being a part of and those she doesn’t.

There’s a picture of Jeongyeon from college, clad in a university toga, holding up her diploma and smiling her widest for the camera. Beside it is another framed picture taken on the same event, this time with the whole Yoo family—Jeongyeon sandwiched between parents and two older sisters, Sooyeon and Seungyeon.

While she takes a look around the deck of pictures, her phone vibrates in her hold. Jihyo’s name heads a message.

_Giving up already?_

Nayeon scoffs and types back a reply. _Who said?_

Jihyo replies within a minute. _What are you going to do now then? Should I book you the next flight back to Korea?_

 _No._ Nayeon sends swiftly and then adds another message. _Book me a hotel tho. And send someone to pick me up pls. Jeongyeon might kill me if she finds out I stayed here longer :(_

She can vividly hear Jihyo’s laugh through the series of HAHAHA’s she gets as a reply a few seconds later. She turns off her phone again and looks through more of the framed pictures in Jeongyeon’s living room.

***

Yoo Jeongyeon can’t sleep.

She’s exhausted from having to deal with Nayeon again after six years but she can’t sleep. She only continues to thrash and move around on her bed like a restless puppy, trying to find some position she can relax on, but to no avail.

No one can blame her. Im Nayeon, her ex-girlfriend who left her with a broken heart and ignored her for six years, is outside, sitting on _her_ upholstered sofa, waiting and just breathing the same air as _her_.

A part of Jeongyeon wants to shove Nayeon out of her house and leave her to freeze outside, punishment for all of the pain she had to go through because of the older woman, but a morally-righteous part of her also just wants to indulge Nayeon with a non-existent mug of hot chocolate and a warm blanket to comfort her.

The last part dies down whenever Jeongyeon remembers how shameless Nayeon acted earlier.

She turns to lie on her stomach, a disgruntled look on her face. _How could she?_ _After six years, she thinks she’s all mighty and successful? She thinks she’s a goddess or whatever? A princess that gets to order lowly people around?_

When she wished for some kind of luck yesterday after a whole day of utter misfortune, Jeongyeon didn’t mean _this_! Im Nayeon is _far_ from her good luck charm. The woman, now trendy and a lot richer than when they were young idiots in love, has a lot to brag and a big head.

_To be stuck with her is the pinnacle of bad luck._

Jeongyeon prays Nayeon’s gone by tomorrow morning.

***

(Here’s a fact: Yoo Jeongyeon can’t sleep. A black-haired idol is bothering her mind. Said black-haired idol, who also happens to be her lovely ex, is a few steps away from her, chilling in _her_ living room.

Here’s a secret: Yoo Jeongyeon doesn’t sleep. Instead, after tossing and turning on her bed, she decides to take a peek outside of her room, down the hall and to the living room where she last left her visitor.

Nayeon’s still there, head latent on top of the backrest of the sofa. Jeongyeon wonders at first what she’s doing but the soft snores give it away.

Here’s another secret: There’s a _really_ soft, fuzzy blanket she keeps inside her closet in case of emergency cuddle sessions with Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung. She supposes it won’t hurt to be kind, right? This random act of compassion doesn’t mean anything, anyways.

With the blanket in hand, Jeongyeon tiptoes to the living room and softly drapes the material around the sleeping figure of Im Nayeon.

Yep, this _totally_ doesn’t mean anything.)

***

Im Nayeon wakes up to the sound of a ceramic bowl crashing on the floor. The piercing sound of porcelain shattering is enough to wake up a light-sleeper like the 29-year-old idol.

Droopy eyelids shoot open at the smashing sound. Nayeon notices three things: one) to her right side, down the hall, the door to Jeongyeon’s room is left wide open; two) by the looks of it, the owner of the house is out of sight, leaving Nayeon all alone in the living room; and three) there’s a really soft blanket around her midriff.

The small window by the kitchen is left open, small chirping birds hanging out by the window pane. Nayeon supposes those adorable rascals are the cause of the shards scattered on the floor below them and also the reason why she’s awake now.

“Jeongyeon…?”

While fixing herself up—tangled hair and still heavy eyelids—Nayeon checks her phone for any updates regarding her lodging and whoever the heck was supposed to pick her up but didn’t.

At the sight of an empty unread messages inbox, the idol turns off her phone and tosses it somewhere on the sofa she just slept on.

Nayeon rests for a few more minutes, just taking in the beautiful sight of the sun’s rays piercing through the white curtains of Jeongyeon’s living room, fine dust particles fluttering around.

She would have stayed stagnant for longer if it weren’t for the sudden grumbling of her stomach pushing her to a stand.

“Jeongyeon?” She tries to call out again but to no avail. It’s around seven in the morning, as stated by the monogram clock mounted on the wall. Although it's a known habit by now that Jeongyeon is an early morning bird ever since back then, the chilly weather as of the moment is like a magnet to the bed—or for Nayeon’s case, the sofa--Nayeon kind of expected the younger woman to stay with her longer.

But no, that doesn't happen. 

Nayeon, instead, hesitates if she should accommodate grumbling stomach. Her parents taught her manners and respect for someone else’s belongings but Nayeon’s stomach isn’t really cooperating as it continuously demands for anything to eat. So this is where Nayeon finds herself: at the kitchen, going through cupboards.

Jeongyeon was a nutrition-freak back then, so Nayeon expects a lot of vegetable cereals, low-fat fresh milk, and lots of fresh fruits. The moment she opens the cupboards, she sees cobwebs and a sad abyss of nothingness.

 _Okay, maybe canned goods?_ She checks the other drawers but still, empty to the core.

A mini fridge stands by the corner of the granite countertop in the small kitchen. Nayeon prays first before she checks inside. She takes her time and slowly opens the fridge, catching sight of only two empty bottles of water and one stalk of a flaccid green onion.

Nayeon frowns and clutches her stomach when it growls again. _Maybe Jeongyeon hasn’t had any time to do her groceries yet._

At the thought of time, Nayeon's train of curiosity wanders off to what Jeongyeon is doing nowadays. Living in such a harsh-weathered prefecture can only offer so much, and by the looks of it, it’s either Jeongyeon’s too busy to feed herself or her job doesn’t really pay well.

Whichever of the two, Nayeon feels a pitiful tug at her heartstrings. Back then, she was the one who always forgot to do things and it was Jeongyeon who would always remind her to eat actual food and relax. Things must’ve really changed between them.

Nayeon settles for the sofa again, defeated in her quest to find food. She’s about to pull out her phone to look for online deliveries but the door soon comes thrashing open, revealing Yoo Jeongyeon with a bunch of groceries in her arms, a ray of light shining behind her, looking like the savior that she is. 

***

Okay, so maybe going out in the middle of a snowstorm in just your pajamas isn’t the best of ideas, but it’s six in the morning and Jeongyeon is freaking out. She only realizes she doesn’t have anything to offer to the sleeping woman on her sofa after numerous attempts to sleep.

The 28-year-old pajama-clad woman finds herself knocking aggressively on the doors of her closest neighbor. She snuck out of her own house, stupidly tiptoeing to the front door and hurrying out (with a split second to spare watching the sleeping figure of Im Nayeon on her sofa), and now she’s here.

Hirai Momo’s house is the biggest in the neighborhood; One whole hectare of a lot for herself and a cozy two-floored log cabin equipped with its own sauna and high-tech indoor heating system for the cold. It’s no wonder she transformed it into a four-star inn for extra income.

“Momo!” Jeongyeon whisper-shouts into the middle crack of the two-paneled wooden door. “Open the door!” She continues to hammer her fists on the wood.

It may be five in the morning but Momo usually gets up a quarter before to prepare for her usual Zumba classes with the elderly at the town hall. Again, for _extra_ income.

Momo’s main source of income is her girlfriend.

“Momo!” Jeongyeon basically smashes her fists on the door now. “It’s me, Jeongyeon! Open the do--…”

“Unnie”, the door swings open, revealing a familiar younger girl before her, clad in sweatpants and an artistic hoodie. “What are you doing?”

Son Chaeyoung is the youngest girl in the neighborhood. She’s a fresh college graduate looking after her grandparents who live in the same village just a few houses away. It isn’t a surprise to see her lounging in Momo’s house-turned-inn. Momo can’t be left unsupervised.

Jeongyeon steps inside the warm house out of habit. This place has always been a second home to her. “Is Momo awake already?”

Before Chaeyoung could even answer, another voice resonates around the grand foyer. (Yes, the house is big enough to have a grand foyer where you can see the second floor)

“Unnie!” Jeongyeon looks up to another familiar voice. By the second floor stands another pajama-clad younger girl, this time in the body of a hyped and blonde Kim Dahyun, Chaeyoung’s best friend and wingwoman.

Dahyun runs down the staircase and crashes herself into Jeongyeon’s whole body, wrapping her arms around the older girl’s torso. “I missed you!”

The hunger and the panic in Jeongyeon rapidly subside, the natural effect that comes along seeing the two younger girls again. Dahyun only comes to visit every winter break for the Winter Wish festival, the same other reason why Chaeyoung is also around.

Dahyun pulls away from the hug. “Momo unnie is in the kitchen waiting for breakfast. Why don’t you join us?”

Another reason why everybody loves hanging out at Momo’s house is the sous-chef that always cooks the _best_ food in the whole village. Jeongyeon, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung get to eat fancy food at Momo’s place for _free_.

Without any hesitation, Jeongyeon follows behind Dahyun and Chaeyoung to the kitchen, where they find Momo seated at the head chair of the twelve-seater dining table, fangirling over the side dishes and breakfast sets prepared before her.

The excitement on Momo’s face flies up to the heavens when she sees Jeongyeon’s figure making her way to the dining table to join over for breakfast at 5:30 in the morning.

“What brings you here?” Chaeyoung—the most sensible one in the group of three munching women before Jeongyeon—asks after taking a spoonful of cornflakes cereal. “It’s like, five in the morning unnie.”

Jeongyeon, though, is wondering the same thing. “What are you _two_ doing up?” She eyes Dahyun and Chaeyoung with the scrutinizing glare of a mother. “As far as I know, Momo’s the only one who instructs the Zumba classes.”

“Until now, that is”, Dahyun smiles cheekily. “Chae and I will be going with her to help. You know how we just _love_ helping out old people.”

The sheer amount of energy so early in the morning is enough to blind Jeongyeon. “If that’s the case, will you help _me_ out with something?” _Someone, rather._

The seriousness laced in Jeongyeon’s voice, backed up by the realization of her suddenly appearing out of nowhere still in her pajamas, silences the three women in the dining table. Momo freezes midway into taking in a spoonful of jokbal.

“Of course we will, unnie.” Chaeyoung immediately answers with no hesitation. “We did say ‘ _old people_ ’ right?”

That earns the youngest of the four a flick on the head. Momo and Dahyun laugh until Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung are done bickering.

“Anyhow, what’s the problem?” Dahyun turns back to their topic. “Do you need us to help you carry out a dead body? Because I won’t be able to promise you anything there, unnie. It’s really against my beliefs to help someone do malicious acts that could possibly--…”

“No, Dubu. That's not what I meant."

Dahyun lets out a relieved sigh. “Oh thank God. I was beginning to worry there.” 

Momo, in the middle of chugging down the whole glass of orange juice, probes, “Do you need me to ask Mina for some backup? She’s arriving in a few days, maybe we can ask her to--…”

“No, Momoring. It's alright, nothing too serious for _that_ measure.” Jeongyeon stifles out a chuckle at the supportiveness of her best friends. When in doubt, she always came to these three. “I actually just need some advice right now.”

“Advice?” Chaeyoung frowns. “Usually, we go to _you_ for that. What can possibly reverse the situation now?” She recalls the drama she’s been engrossed with and decides to joke, “Did some lost love come back and now you’re completely questioning your whole existence?” Dahyun and Momo laugh.

Jeongyeon isn't laughing though.

When the three notice Jeongyeon's not-so-amused face, the laughter stops.

“Oh shit.”

Jeongyeon’s mind is messed up but not enough to not know it’s Chaeyoung who cursed out loud. She felt the exact same way.

“Your ex!” Dahyun exclaims, eyes widening, as if thinking about it wasn’t enough, she just had to declare it to the whole world. “Your ex is back!”

Somehow, Momo drops her spoon on the floor, a loud clanging sound resonating around the dining area. She sports the exact same shocked expression as Chaeyoung. “You have an ex!?”

Jeongyeon doesn’t even answer anymore. Dahyun seems to pick up faster than any of the two. “Is it um…” she begins snapping her fingers, racking her brain for a name. “What’s the name on that stupid tattoo you always hide?”

Chaeyoung looks like a bulb went off in her mind. She glides around the table and approaches Jeongyeon with a huff. Without any warning whatsoever, she yanks the older girl’s arm and harshly pulls up her pajama’s sleeve.

Jeongyeon is then reminded of her stupid twenty-year-old decisions again.

\---

_“I don’t think this is a good idea…” Jeongyeon is drunk but she isn’t stupid._

_“I think so too.” Jihyo, the only responsible one as of the moment, agrees._

_That was enough for Jeongyeon to back out—or at least, try to back out, before Nayeon pulled her down again and strapped both of her wrists on the armrest of the chair with the leather belts._

_Jeongyeon cheekily smiles at the leather belts. “This is kinky…”_

_“You’re drunk, babe.” Nayeon chuckles turning back to the man preparing the machine._

_Jeongyeon can’t make out what was currently happening. All she knew and could see was Jihyo disappointingly shaking her head by the corner, arms crossed on her chest, clicking her tongue. Her current state told her this Jihyo wasn't to ponder on. Disappointment was Jihyo's usual look whenever she was left to deal with Jeongyeon and Nayeon, the strange couple._

_By the time Nayeon comes back, Jeongyeon is already slowly feeling her eyelids grow heavy on her._

_“Hey babe, which one do you like?” There’s a book splayed out beside her, on Nayeon’s lap, but Jeongyeon’s too sleepy to even make out anything anymore. All she can see through her blurred vision are a bunch of dark scribbles, like the ones Nayeon would draw on the last page of her Marketing class notebook._

_“Uh…” Jeongyeon still tries though. She narrows her eyes in hopes of clearing her vision but that doesn't work so she just guesses. “The first one…?”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_Jeongyeon’s whole system shuts down before she could even reply. The last thing she felt before falling completely asleep was something prickling at her arm._

\---

They fought the next day, Jeongyeon remembers, when she, drowning in a bad case of hangover, woke up and saw the tattooed heart on her arm, with her ex-girlfriend’s name inked at the center in stupid, obnoxious cursive handwriting.

Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung crowd around Jeongyeon’s arm, looking at the classic tattoo.

“Nayeon...?” Momo reads it carefully before letting out a laugh. “Your ex’s name is Nayeon? Like the _idol_ Nayeon?”

That gives Chaeyoung an idea. “Oh yeah! I’ve watched her dramas before.” She makes an OK gesture with her fingers. “She’s good, great actually. I like her.”

Dahyun's eyes brightening like the stars. “I have a lot of her songs on my phone. She has really colorful vocals.”

“I’ve seen her dance. She’s good too.” Momo nods her head in approval.

“Your ex’s name is the same spelling?” Chaeyoung practically ridicules. “What a coincidence! She’s the second person I know who was the same variation in spelling. The usual spelling of that name comes with an e-u-n and not a y-e-o-n.”

Dahyun laughs along. “Talk about how weird it would be if Jeongyeon unnie told us they’re the same person. That Nayeon is _waaay_ out of unnie’s league…”

“Ya!”

“What?” The blonde shrugs innocently. “I mean, come on, unnie. It’s just too outrageous to happen in real life!”

Jeongyeon internally snorts, thinking if only she could tell these kids…

“That’s not the problem, though.” She decides not to tell them. She’ll save that information for later. “The problem is that my ex is back. And I don’t know what to do! I’m losing my mind here!”

Chaeyoung and Momo only watch in shock at the sight of amusing Jeongyeon panicking. It’s not a usual spectacle for them to see considering how it’s been Jeongyeon who always had her shit together—at least, for most of the time.

“What is she doing here? Did she tell you why?” Dahyun frowns. “Also, is she the same ex that you told us before? The one who was a trainee?”

Jeongyeon thinks for a moment there, wonders if telling these three the truth would be useful to the situation. Nayeon went to her in full disguise—even though flaunting an expensive attire and hauling around a Louis Vuitton luggage in a remote, middle-class province isn’t really going incognito per se—Jeongyeon supposes her ex didn’t really come wanting for a bunch of paparazzi to follow her back.

“She said she had uh, this project at work. She has to learn the province life for it.” Nayeon _did_ tell her she has a ‘project at work’ that she has to prepare for.

Chaeyoung hums. “If that’s the case, there seems to be no problem at all.”

“Huh?”

“If it’s for the job then technically speaking, she came back but not for you.”

Jeongyeon feels a light sting somewhere inside. She doesn’t want to name it. “Well…yeah…but…but why does she have to pick my place to stay, huh? She could’ve stayed here! This is an Inn for god’s sake!’

“But did she know, though?” Dahyun understands where Chaeyoung is going and decides to head there as well. “I mean you know how Momo unnie keeps this place off the map."

“If it bothers you so much, why don’t you just ask her to stay here instead?” Chaeyoung adds.

Jeongyeon tries to consider the thought but then remembers her little _white_ lie. “And risk myself having her within close proximity for a long time? No thank you, Momo.”

Dahyun sighs in defeat, her head circling around how the older woman suggested the same idea a few seconds ago but is now abating it so eagerly. “You’re a lost cause, unnie.”

“Why are you so affected by her anyways?” The question, coming from a munching Momo, catches the attention of everyone in the table. Dahyun and Chaeyoung are mostly surprised of the sensible query of the older girl. Momo was never the type to join in heavy conversations but when she did, she always—surprisingly—is sagacious.

“I mean”, Momo shrugs her shoulders before taking a short sip of her half-emptied glass of orange juice. “She just came here for work and you were the only person she knew around. If I was left with that option—whether I’d go with a random stranger or my ex—I’d probably go with the latter.”

Momo’s smart when she wants to, that everyone in the table knows, it’s just that the Japanese girl would rather live an easy life than think a lot. She always believed that life didn’t have to be about making hard decisions. Sometimes, Jeongyeon is jealous of that.

“Wait a minute.”

And then the other side of Momo opens her mouth to ruin the moment.

“If you’re bothered so much, does that mean something happened between you two, aside from a failed relationship?”

“I…there’s nothing…uh…” Jeongyeon's stammering pretty much gives her away though.

“Holy shit” Chaeyoung’s gasping sends both her and Momo into a fit of laughter while Dahyun hisses at her for cursing so loudly. Amidst the mess, the youngest of the four manages to squeak out a question in between ungodly wheezes. “What did you _do_ , unnie?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Jeongyeon is tired of always being labeled as the bad one in the relationship. “She broke up with me six years ago and moved away!”

“Then why are you so riled up about her coming back?”

“Because she made me think that _I_ was the problem, okay!?” The pain and frustration in Jeongyeon’s tone silences the three women before her. The smile on Chaeyoung’s face is easily replaced by a look of sympathy.

Joengyeon runs a hand through her now past-shoulder-level dark brown hair and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Everything in our relationship, up to the point before the breakup, was okay. It was normal. She was her and I was beyond in love with her. And then…and then she…” Dealing with past memories of Nayeon was never Jeongyeon’s favorite thing to do. Will never be, perhaps. “…she broke up with me, out of nowhere. She packed up and left to move to the city to pursue her training.”

There’s a tense pause. She meets the pitiful eyes of her three friends with her own dull ones. “That’s why it’s so hard for me to accept the fact that she’s back. Because I feel like it's so unfair for me. It was so easy for her to leave. How is it still so easy for her to come back?”

The last thing Jeongyeon want right now is to cry her eyes out in front of her three best friends at five in the morning. She takes a deep breath, partly to muster up the courage not to cry and partly to calm her rattling mind.

Somewhere in between counting down mentally, Jeongyeon feels the soft touch of fingers holding her hand. She opens her eyes and sees rainbow flag nail polish. It’s Chaeyoung. “Unnie…”

“No.” It’s firm but soft at the same time. Just enough for the three women to handle. This is Jeongyeon being Jeongyeon, but not leaving the old, wild Jeongyeon behind. “I don’t want you guys to feel bad for me or whatever.” She looks up and meets eyes with the three. “Whatever happened between Nayeon and I is all in the past. I just…I just don’t know how to deal with her again.”

Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung understand. They may not be the smartest bunch of friends Jeongyeon could have, but they know the older woman more than anyone. 

It's not too hard to understand the complexity of Jeongyeon's life right now. She's going through a rough patch, has to deal with bills and taxes all the while trying to keep herself alive, mentally and physically, and then the universe decides to throw in an ex (whom she still hasn’t moved on with, Chaeyoung, Momo, and Dahyun can tell) to complete the package. Jeongyeon's human. She gets tired too. 

The silence is half comfortable and half suffocating, and Jeongyeon feels so bare and open, it makes her want to pull out all of her hair. It’s too frustrating. Everything about Nayeon coming back is. “I don’t know what to do.” Is now her new life mantra. 

It takes a while before someone speaks up, and Jeongyeon can’t help but wonder if the panicking really has gotten into her and now she’s starting to hallucinate again.

“Make her stay.”

Jeongyeon only blinks at Dahyun’s suggestion. _Dahyun’s suggestion, of all people_. “Pardon?”

“The only way to get over her is if you grab this opportunity now, unnie.” Dahyun looks like a fucking Einstein with the way Chaeyoung and Momo gape at her. “Think of it like this: if you let her go now, who knows when can you two ever meet again, right? Would you want to prolong the agony of seeing her live her life so freely while you sulk on your own?”

“I'm not _sulking_..." Jeongyeon sadly attempts to defend her ego but nobody listens. 

Before Dahyun can elucidate further, Chaeyoung throws in _her_ personal understanding of Dahyun’s idea. “What she’s trying to say, unnie, is that this is your chance for revenge!”

“Uh…that’s not what I was--…”

“I mean, look at it unnie, she’s back. She’s here because she needs _your_ help. Help her. And then show her what she missed out on when she broke up with you and left you six years ago.” Chaeyoung applauds her own self, looking so proud and confident. “That’s like, the perfect revenge!”

Momo claps her hands like a seal, enjoying the moment despite not really understanding anything.

Jeongyeon thinks at the back of her mind. Chaeyoung doesn’t make sense most of the time, but when she does it’s always somehow the perfect timing.

Dahyun shakes her head in dismay. She can already see the worst-case scenario of this. “No. I don’t think this is a good--…”

“You’re right!”

The blonde groans, shoving her face into her palms helplessly. _It was good while it lasted…_

Chaeyoung smiles brightly. “We’ll help you out with this, unnie. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

In the middle of their celebration (with Dahyun not even trying anymore), Momo’s phone buzzes on the table, notifying a message. “Oh, we have to go.” The dancer stands up and pushes back her chair. Dahyun and Chaeyoung follow along. “They’re already waiting for us at the hall.”

“You’re going there in that?” Jeongyeon points at Chaeyoung’s choice of clothing—a hoodie and sweatpants.

The younger girl waves it off nonchalantly. “I won’t be dancing on the stage. That’s Momo unnie’s job.”

“How about you?” Jeongyeon turns to Dahyun, still in her pajamas.

“Oh, I’m going to change.” Dahyun smiles before glancing over at Momo and Chaeyoung who are already cleaning up the table. “Can you guys wait for me? I’ll just change upstairs.”

Chaeyoung nods before walking over to the kitchen to dispose their used utensils in the sink. Momo begins wiping the table with a rag from the countertop.

At the sight of their finished food, Jeongyeon then remembers the _other_ reason why she dropped by. “Momoring, can I ask you a favor?” Her eyes twinkle with fondness for Momo, something the latter doesn’t usually see.

It’s easy for Momo to know what Jeongyeon wants now. “Whatever. Just get what you want.” _Jeongyeon just wants food._

“Yay! Thank you so _so_ much! I owe you one!” Jeongyeon stands up and runs down happily to Momo’s pantry, a stocked room filled with _everything_ Jeongyeon can only wish for and never have enough money to buy. 

She grabs a _lot_ of food supplies, good enough to last her for the day. She doesn't bother worrying about Momo's stock, the dancer can never run out of food in here anyways, no matter how much Jeongyeon grabs and eats for free. Mina’s too wealthy and in love to let that happen.

Jeongyeon, for a moment there, wishes she could have the same.

(Some time after that, as Jeongyeon walks back to her own home with her arms filled with instant ramen, hot chocolate, and snacks, she realizes something.

If she follows Chaeyoung’s plan, and she will, then her friends will have to meet Nayeon, one way or another. The thought sends her freaking out inside.)

***

Im Nayeon _almost_ curses at the loud banging sound the door makes, but then she sees Jeongyeon with puffed cheeks, breathless, and she forgets everything and just rushes over to help the younger girl.

She takes what she can manage and brings it to the dining table. “What are these? Did you run to the mart at six in the morning?”

Jeongyeon huffs. “This is food.” She moves over to the cabinets to pull out a pot to use. “You don’t get to complain, Im.”

Nayeon shuts up.

The rest of the morning is spent with Nayeon watching Jeongyeon’s back. The latter didn’t want any help—she made sure Nayeon knew that—and so the idol was left admiring the beautiful view of her ex’s backside.

_Ew, Nayeon. When did you start sounding like a perverted, middle-aged man?_

“Here you go.” Jeongyeon finally finishes whatever she was cooking, snapping Nayeon out of her reverie at the same time.

The younger girl moves to take out something from the cupboard—the same Made in China glassware Nayeon had used last night—and pulls out the refrigerated Banana milk she grabbed from Momo’s pantry.

Nayeon watches silently with awe as Jeongyeon sits down in front of her with an accomplished huff, in this small, wooden dining table about one-fourth of the one she has in her apartment back in the city.

A pot is placed between them, in the middle of the table. It’s instant ramen, a _lot_ of it, something that sends vivid pictures of Nayeon’s entire management team scolding her at the back of her mind. The last time she ate instant food was a year into being an official idol, about four years ago. After that, her managers had rid her off the unhealthy food, saying it was filled with preservatives that will probably affect her weight and make her lose her to-die-for idol body.

Nayeon thought that was her everything: a good body and a beautiful face. It was her marketing strategy. She earned millions of won from selling her body and her beautiful face to the industry. She lived off eating no more than 200 calories per day and worked out rigorously to manage her weight.

She never thought that seeing Jeongyeon eat so freely in front of her again would make her question so much.

“Hey.”

Nayeon snaps out. She realizes Jeongyeon’s staring at her. _Is something on my face…?_

“Don’t you want some ramen?”

Nayeon hesitates. Eating this would break her healthy diet and definitely her five-year-long streak of a ramen-free life.

But this is Jeongyeon, _always an exemption_.

“Yeah, sure.” She grabs her chopsticks, a metal one, compared to the disposable bamboo ones Jeongyeon is using. “Thank you for this.”

Jeongyeon mums something, probably a ‘no problem’, but Nayeon thinks she’s just getting way too ahead of herself. Instead, she relishes in the temporary company of Jeongyeon’s silence and (slightly bland) ramen.

***

“So, I’ve been thinking…”

Nayeon looks up from the now noodle-free pot of ramen. She braces herself. Jeongyeon taking too much to think can never mean a good thing.

“I’ve decided to help you with your project.”

Nayeon wants to drown herself with the ramen soup in the pot. She should’ve known this wouldn’t work out no matter how long she gives Jeongyeon to think. The younger girl simply just hates her to the—

“Wait, what?”

Jeongyeon sighs. Her face remains stoic. She grabs the emptied glasses of water before standing up and pushing her chair back. “I said I’ll help you familiarize yourself with the province life.”

Nayeon still can't wrap her mind around it. _What...?_

“But I have my terms and conditions.” Jeongyeon will not sit around and play babysitter with rich Nayeon. Normal Nayeon was already a headache for her, with all the blabbering and the complaining, Rich Nayeon is _unfathomable_.

“Number one: no complaining.”

The older woman only realizes the reality of things. _This is really going to happen, huh?_

With the first condition, she can barely give a fuck about it. She’s already educated herself well enough by now—with all of the godawful work ethics the people in her industry have—complaining will do her no good. If Jeongyeon thinks she’s still the same Nayeon back then, she’s definitely mistaken.

“Number two: be modest. You won’t blend in if you wear flashy clothing and million-dollar accessories."

That though, might be a problem. At the back of her mind, Nayeon remembers her carrier and her tote bag, and what’s inside of them. She ran away out of impulse, and the only clothing she grabbed from her closet were her sponsored ones, with brands that could probably pay off Jeongyeon’s entire house debt and bills for the next ten years.

With an unsure nod, Nayeon obliges.

“Lastly”, Jeongyeon made sure to think about this a lot. Like, a _lot._ This is the _most important_ part of her terms and conditions. She can’t have herself panicking around Nayeon anymore.

“We keep everything professional here. No bringing up the past or whatever is there. I’m here to help you with this kind of life. You’re here to learn and prepare for your project. Professional. Nothing more, nothing less.”

It’s a big blow to Nayeon, as if Jeongyeon’s just punched her on the chest and she forgot to breathe. The older girl can barely say out a word. She’s left gaping, unable to think of anything.

In the end, she realizes her options but the only thing she would trade her everything for in the world is time with Jeongyeon. Just _them_. So Nayeon doesn’t care anymore. The only thing in her mind right now is the prospect of spending time with Jeongyeon again, of seeing Jeongyeon more, of her smiles and her laughter, and just living life away from the scrutiny of the public’s eye.

“I’m in.” She's certain, the wide grin on her face never wiping off.

 _Professional?_ Im Nayeon was born damn professional.

Jeongyeon clasps her hands together like a businessman who just got himself a new client. “Okay! It’s official, then. This is the beginning of your Countryside Life Course with Yoo Jeongyeon.”

***

Jeongyeon decides it’ll be better if they start the day early, so she lets Nayeon take the shower first, knowing out of habit by now how the older girl takes an eternity in the bathroom.

After strutting around Jeongyeon’s house in a customized pink bathrobe, the idol finally changes into her _most decent_ and _modest_ clothes: black Tommy Hilfiger sweatpants, an oversized white Adidas tee, and $585 Golden Goose Hi-top sneakers.

Oh, and before she forgets, she also brings along her black Gucci snapback and her Ray-Ban mirrored aviator sunglasses.

Jeongyeon can only sigh at the futile attempt of modesty.

_Some things just never change._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i decided to take a break from seulrene and focus on finishing the hidden WIP story for other favorite ship, the crackhead 2yeon !! please enjoy this short fic! i've always WANTED to write an idol Nayeon and a normal person Jeongyeon fic


	2. The Countryside Life Course with Yoo Jeongyeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is absolutely no ulterior motive behind Jeongyeon’s plans. She did not plot a tour around the area to terrorize Nayeon and perhaps drive her away from the small village, but Jeongyeon decides it’ll be good to show the modest older woman the reality of life before getting to the good part.

There is absolutely no ulterior motive behind Jeongyeon’s plans. She did not plot a tour around the area to terrorize Nayeon and perhaps drive her away from the small village. Jeongyeon just knows it’ll be good to show the _modest_ older woman the reality of life before getting to the good part.

As soon as she finishes dressing up as a sad tragedy beside Im Nayeon, they begin their day going through the mental bucket list the younger girl has managed to come up with while walking back to her house after an emotional trip at Momo’s.

***

**#1 trees, trees, TREES**

“I told you so.”

Jeongyeon feels the triumph and her pride skyrocket inside of her. She walks ahead, ignoring the grunts and the curses whispered under hushed breaths coming from the older woman trekking behind her.

Nayeon lifts up her left foot out of the snow with much effort and a grumble. “What was I supposed to wear, huh, Yoo?”

That alone makes Jeongyeon smile like an idiot. It surprises her how six years of avoidance all tumbled down so easily within the last sixty minutes they spent walking and hiking up the hill of snow behind Jeongyeon’s house. They’ve managed to abolish everything between them and rebuild them all again. Old habits find their way back, and the next thing Jeongyeon knew, Nayeon was already calling her by her surname again—the same way she used to call the younger girl when they were still ‘frenemies’ back in college.

“I don’t know”, Jeongyeon looks back at the older woman way behind her. “Your boots would’ve been better.”

“Boots don’t go along sweatpants and a tee, dumbo.”

Jeongyeon tries to be annoyed but really, everything looks like a sitcom for her. Before Nayeon could even see her at her state of weakness, she looks ahead and scoffs. “Yeah, and 500-dollar shoes just do, huh?”

She walks ahead, easily navigating her way through the thick layer of snow with her efficient _snowboots._

Nayeon only watches behind, praying to the Lord for more patience. If this was Jeongyeon’s way of testing her, then so be it.

_Two can play this game, Yoo Jeongyeon._

***

The snowy hill, as what Jeongyeon refers to the mound of snowfall behind her house, is where Jeongyeon gets her supply of fallen twigs for her fireplace. It’s only a matter of time before she gets cut off from her electricity connection (again, not enough money to pay her notices _yet_ ) so this i the number one chore in her list. 

Nayeon’s arrival was the perfect timing. Jeongyeon needed as many as possible supply of twigs and with that, she also needed help carrying everything back. So, with two axes in her hands and a grumpy ex behind her, Jeongyeon embarked on the twig-collecting adventure of her life.

***

They arrive at the other side of the hill in a whopping record of thirty-seven minutes—the _longest_ time it took to get to the place. Jeongyeon blames Im Nayeon for everything.

“Are you _that_ old?” She snorts, face disgruntled as she watches a breathless Nayeon emerge from the top of the hill. Jeongyeon waits patiently by the tree trunk. She’s managed to climb down ten minutes ago. “I thought idols were supposed to be fit or something?”

“Fuck off.”

Nayeon gets back on her feet and slowly, _slowly_ hikes down the slope of the hill. The moment she arrives a few feet away from Jeongyeon, the younger girl stands back up and hands the ax over, not giving the idol any time to catch her breath.

Jeongyeon begins stretching her arms and back. “I don’t do this every morning. Only when I’m on the verge of running out of wood supply for the fireplace. I thought it would’ve been a great help if you came along—…” She calculates her swing on the piece of wood she’s had her eyes on while waiting for Nayeon. “...but you’re more of a liability than an alliance.”

“Ya!” Nayeon blurts out, a little too loud for the liking of Jeongyeon’s neighbor down the hill whose dog begins barking. “It’s hard hiking up a hill without any warm-up, okay? You should’ve told me beforehand if you wanted an assistant!”

“Who said I wanted an assistant?” Jeongyeon sports a shit-eating grin on her face. “I brought you here so you can collect twigs. You might dislocate your arms chopping wood.”

“Wow. Are you now suddenly choosing to become nice and considerate for me? After leaving me by myself and deriding me?”

Jeongyeon shakes her head in deadpan manner. “That’s me telling you you’re old.”

“You’re only a year younger, asshole!”

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders. “Still older…”

They begin on their adventure. Jeongyeon continues to lunge at the piece of wood to chop it off with her ax while Nayeon, with her unnecessary ax, walks around the area to collect twigs that can be used. They remain like that for an hour until Jeongyeon starts hearing grunts again.

Nayeon may be a few feet away but the stillness and the silence of the hillside is overpowering, Jeongyeon can hear even the slightest sigh coming from her.

The younger girl looks over the tall trunks of trees and the sea of snow, towards Nayeon who’s now arching her back, a fist trying to thump at the hollow of her rear side, as if that would better things.

“Are you interested in some assistance now, grandma?”

Nayeon groans at the voice, this time dramatically louder. Without sparing Jeongyeon any look or answer, she continues off with her twig-collecting adventure, bending down to pick up and collect fallen branches on the ground.

After gathering enough to fill up the hem of her shirt that she’s used as a basket, she stands back up and cranes her neck and stretches a little, taking in the beautiful sight of the hillside she couldn’t appreciate earlier because she was busy catching her breath an hour ago.

Far into the view the hill provided, something catches Nayeon's attention.

“Hey, Jeongyeon…” she calls out without sparing the lady behind her a glance. She continues to look at the group of people all spread out across what looks like a frozen lake, all carrying their own sharp cutlery and axes. “What are those people doing?”

Jeongyeon throws one last blow at the piece of log before leaving her ax hanging and walking over to god knows what Nayeon is now interested in.

“Oh. They’re people from the other village in my town. They’re getting for ice blocks for the festival.”

Jeongyeon glances at the profile of the older woman beside her, noticing the spark of curiosity at her face as Nayeon watches in awe the teamwork of the old people down the hill, working in tiny groups with designated tasks.

“If it interests you so much, that’s the next stop in my to-do list for the day.”

That makes Nayeon gleam like a hopeful kid, turning to her. “Really?”

Jeongyeon nods. “I’ll also have to introduce you to some people, you know. I can’t have an idol locked in my home. My neighbors might think I’m keeping someone hostage.”

The idea alone makes Nayeon’s heart feel like combusting inside of her. But she can’t let Jeongyeon see that. The younger girl will never live it down.

***

**#2 Frozen**

The town, as it turns out, is the best place for Nayeon to run off to and hide away in from the scrutiny and never-ending attention of the mass media and spotlight life. An idol within their neighborhood won’t even be worth their attention, just the way Nayeon likes it. Most of the town’s population is made up of old villagers whose only interests are the morning Zumba classes and the preparations for the local festival.

That’s what Jeongyeon and Nayeon talk about on their way to the frozen lake park to help with the ice blocks.

“The Winter Wish festival is the most important event in the town”, Jeongyeon explains as Nayeon listens while trying too hard to hide under her snapback and Ray-Ban sunglasses. “Tourists flock to visit the famous ice sculptures the villagers make and display at the town hall.”

“Will you be participating in it?”

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders, playfully kicking off the snow getting in their way. “I’m not sure. I have work to do and I’m not really the artsy type to make full-scale sculptures.”

“You _work_?!” Nayeon’s shock is almost offensive if not entertaining.

“Yes, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes, a futile attempt of disguising her amusement. “Not all of us have million-dollar faces to flaunt and earn billions from.”

It’s Nayeon’s time to roll her eyes now. “Okay. That was just low, Yoo.”

“You getting the shock of your life finding out that _I_ actually work a 9 to 5 job is also _low_ , Im.”

The older woman narrows her eyes with a threatening glare at the younger. They only to end up laughing at how ridiculous they are.

“So, the festival”, Nayeon utters. There’s a sign by the side of the walkway with the words **Mitan Lake** printed on it. They walk inside the park. “What’s it about?”

It takes a while before Jeongyeon replies, “It happens during the winter equinox. It was a tradition passed down through generations. They say wishing during the equinox would make it come true so they made this.”

“What are the sculptures for then?”

“Oh, it’s a culture thing. This town is known for its harsher winters and apparently, the only artsy thing out of this climate is an ice sculpture. So they do that.”

“Will you be doing anything for the festival?”

“Hmm”, Jeongyeon thinks about it all the time. She isn’t artsy like Chaeyoung to join the ice sculpting competition, not talented in dancing like Momo to join the dance performances, and not as funny as Dahyun to emcee the event. “Nothing at the moment. But if anything comes up, I’ll probably have to join. There are only a handful of people around our age in this town. To get to join the festival is a big opportunity itself. Not to mention, a big help to the community.”

The conversation takes away the anxiety in Nayeon for a short while, only for it to resurface the moment someone else calls out Jeongyeon’s name. It’s an old woman with a fairly beautiful appearance for her age. They aren’t alone anymore and someone might notice her.

“Halmeoni.” Jeongyeon smiles and rushes to pay her respect to the old woman, bowing her head down. “I’m sorry if we’re late. We had to cut down some branches for the fireplace.”

The woman waves it off with a huff and a big, adorable smile. “It’s okay, dear. We need all the help we can get right now.” And then, just like a big nightmare, she turns her attention to Nayeon, who stands carefully behind Jeongyeon, head hanging low.

“Who might this be?”

Jeongyeon smiles. “Halmeoni, this is my…friend.” But then her mind short-circuits when the thought of naming Nayeon comes up. She shoots the idol a look, mouthing _what do I call you?_ but Nayeon doesn’t see her. She’s too focused on the icy grounds to look up.

Thankfully, the old woman doesn’t insist much. “Well, Jeongyeonnie’s friend, can you help us out with the ice blocks?”

Nayeon _tries_ to look up. “I…uh…” and then she looks over at Jeongyeon for help. She won’t be able to stand alone in this.

“Halmeoni, we actually want to help with boarding the blocks to the truck. If we can?”

“Oh, sure, sure!” the old woman then grabs Jeongyeon’s arm and Nayeon’s as well—to the shock of the idol’s life—and pulls them to the side of the frozen lake, where a truck is waiting. 

This is the part where Jeongyeon and Nayeon are slightly separated from each other. Jeongyeon joins and assists the older men carry the ice blocks to the truck while Nayeon helps in pushing the ice blocks over to them.

A few minutes past the introductions and the greetings, Jeongyeon joins and sings along the trot songs the older men croon out. She makes sure to watch carefully over Nayeon from time to time, eyes glazed with admiration at the sight of the idol smiling and laughing along with the older women. She has her snapback off now. Her sunglasses are gone as well.

For a moment there, Jeongyeon can no longer see _idol_ Nayeon. Before her is the Nayeon she knew, the one she fell in love with—the one she will always love.

***

“So, sweetie, where are you from?” Someone speaks up. Nayeon doesn’t know who. She’s too busy keeping her head down.

When the same woman repeats the question, Nayeon’s mind goes blank. What does she say? The grandmothers are taking interest in their younger helper, who isn’t the least subtle with the way she dresses up. Nayeon doesn’t remove her sunglasses and snapback yet.

“You look like you’re from Busan.” Another old woman joins in. She tries to look through Nayeon’s disguise but the idol only looks down more, focusing on pushing the ice block over to the truck.

“Where are you from, honey?” It’s the grandmother Jeongyeon was talking to earlier. The pretty, kind one. “You’re friends with our Jeongyeonnie, right?”

Somehow, this lady makes Nayeon feel at more at ease than the other older women. It's like she’s talking to her _own_ grandmother and not just some stranger in a small town.

“I’m Jeongyeon’s friend from Seoul, halmeoni.”

The other older women all fall into laughter at their guesses getting wrong. The kind and pretty grandmother though, decides to pay attention to Nayeon, as if trying to figure out some puzzle.

In the end, though, she gives up with a sigh of defeat. Nayeon’s too good at hiding her face away from the inquisitive stares.

“It’s good that you decided to pay a visit here then”, the pretty grandmother changes the topic and grabs the next ice pushed to their side. She pushes it down to the loading area. “Jeongyeonnie doesn’t get visitors that much. Except that pretty, short-haired girl who occasionally comes by during holidays.”

Nayeon recognizes the pretty, short-haired girl as Jihyo. Jihyo always makes sure to file a leave every once in a few months and the holiday season. Nayeon knows where and who Jihyo runs off to when she’s in need of a breather. It just took her a while to muster up the courage to follow.

“It’s also nice to see a new face for a change.” The old woman then laughs heartily. “That is, if I can see your face.”

Nayeon gulps down the anxiety. She feels her palms clam up and it’s definitely not because of the coldness.

“Are some kind of famous person for me to know? I doubt though.” She continues to kid off. It only bothers Nayeon more. She’s practically squirming inside. “The only people I know are from my days. You know Na Hoona oppa? Aigoo ~ he used to be my crush back when I was in high school…”

That though, exudes a chuckle from her lips. Seeing the older woman gush over a 1970s trot singer as her childhood crush was an adorable sight to watch. It also gave her a sense of comfort. The grandmother had a point. Most of the women in her group were in their late sixties to seventies, who would bother with a young idol like her, right?

Nayeon decides to relent. The snapback _was_ kind of making her forehead sweat uncomfortably. Even with the cold weather, the morning sun was basically focusing down on them.

She loses the sunglasses first, keeping them inside the pocket of her sweatpants. She takes a deep breath before grabbing the front of her snapback and slowly taking it off.

It looks like a picture-perfect scene from a movie. The one where the quiet girl in the party takes off her disguise only to shock everyone because she’s absolutely, drop-dead gorgeous, the most beautiful in the whole room.

Nayeon isn't any different.

A cold gush of wind passes by just in time, and the idol removes her snapback. Her hair falls down perfectly and follows as she runs her fingers through it, fixing it in place. She feels like she’s in a drama.

Too bad nobody was paying her attention. The pretty grandmother could barely care for what just happened before her. (Nayeon thinks if it were any person in Seoul that she’d do this in front of, said person would have passed out from the overwhelming grace of her presence)

“Huh”, the older woman hums before she nods her head approvingly. “Jeongyeonnie did have good taste in girlfriends.”

Nayeon hears the sound of a tire screeching—the sound effect of a fascinating moment being broken. “Pardon?”

Pretty grandmother laughs. “Girl… _friends._ There are only a handful of people around your age in this town. Most are granddaughters of the elders here and the others are students visiting for the fesitval. You should meet Jeongyeonnie’s other girl-friends here.”

Nayeon frowns. _Jeongyeon has good taste in girls, period._

“You look lovely, sweetie. Even though I didn’t quite catch your name yet...”

“Oh, uh, it's Nayeon, halmeoni.”

The old woman smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nayeon-ah. I’m Yoo Dambi, Jeongyeonnie’s grandmother.”

***

“You didn’t tell me she was your grandmother!”

Joengyeon shrugs her shoulders impassively. “What change would it do? It’s not like something will happen if I tell you.”

“Still!” Nayeon fastens her pace, trying to catch up with Jeongyeon’s big steps. They’re currently on their way to someone else’s house, something about meeting Jeongyeon’s friends. Nayeon’s more nervous this time, but the thought of meeting Jeongyeon’s grandmother and not even knowing who she was is still bothering her more. “I could have made a better impression!”

“An impression for _what_?” Jeongyeon’s tone rises. “Grandma doesn’t need to know you’re my ex, Nayeon.”

That catches the older girl off-guard for a few seconds. “Yeah? Well…at least she’ll know I’m a good friend of her granddaughter’s--…”

And then Jeongyeon stops walking. Nayeon does too.

“Look, Nayeon”, Jeongyeon looks at her. As in, _really_ looks at her this time. Nayeon feels like she’s stripped naked in front of the younger girl, all vulnerable and transparent. “Just to clear things out here, this is me helping you for your project. This isn’t me rekindling anything beyond that. Okay?”

Nayeon doesn’t nod. She doesn’t want to accept that. Jeongyeon, thankfully, doesn't have time to wait for her response.

“And besides, I’ll let you meet my _real_ friends here.”

That kind of stings, but seeing the small smile on Jeongyeon’s face seems to soothe the pain away. “They’re really a mess and _young_ …but they’re really dependable. No one will give you away.”

Nayeon _prays_ to believe so. “Can you give me a head’s up with this one? Unlike the hiking earlier? Tell me who I’m going to be dealing with.” 

“You make it sound like we’re going to fight a gang or something.” Jeongyeon chuckles and shakes her head at the thought. Nayeon can’t pick up an ax for the sake of her life.

“So you’ll meet three of my best friends here. They live in the next door house.” She thinks back on how to describe Chaeyoung, Dahyun, and Momo in simpler terms. “Uh, we have Chaeyoung, the youngest. She’s really artsy and full of teenage angst. But she’s not a teenager though. Don’t call her that. She’ll get offended. She’s 26 but 5’2.”

Nayeon chuckles at the description, very vivid. She feels like she already knows what to expect.

“We have Dahyun, second youngest. She’s as bright as her blonde hair, always happy and energetic. You’ll fall in love with her. Very funny too. She’s 27.” Jeongyeon smiles at the image of Dahyun and Chaeyoung in her mind.

“And then lastly, Momo. She’s a native and she owns the house beside mine. She’s incredibly talented but easily influenced.” Jeongyeon throws a threatening glare at Nayeon. “Don’t you _dare_ rub off your bad influence on that innocent kid. I can’t have her hoeing around.”

Nayeon gasps, feigning offense. “Excuse me? I don’t _‘hoe’_ around!”

“Okaaay. Whatever floats your boat…” Jeongyeon shoots her a passive nod, obviously not believing. “Oh, also, it’s Momo’s house we’re going to.”

They continue to make their way to the Momo’s house, walking back to Jeongyeon’s street.

The only mode of transportation commonly used around the town is a tractor and a motor bike, but only those who can afford use them through the snowy streets, so most of the town’s people only walk to their destinations.

“Oh, by the way”, Jeongyeon needs to warn Nayeon this, at least. “They’re all fans of yours. I told them about you before, but not as _the Idol_ Im Nayeon. More like, my _ex_ Im Nayeon.”

It astounds Nayeon how blunt Jeongyeon can get but how easily flustered she can be as well. Especially about _this_ topic. Wasn’t it her who brought up rule number three: keeping it professional?

Jeongyeon continues with her repercussions. “So don’t be shocked when they flip out. They’re probably going to doubt me when I tell them, so I’ll introduce you first, explain a little, and then you can come out.”

“Come out from where?”

“I don’t know. Just hide and wait for me to call you.”

Nayeon rolls her eyes and groans. _Ugh. More physical activity._ “Okay.”

“Oh, and also, I’ll be recording this for…memory purposes, if I may?” Jeongyeon doesn’t know how to explain this but she will forever treasure the shocked reaction of her best friends from the _revelation_. “They think I’m an old virgin hag.”

“Are you _not_?”

But Jeongyeon is _prepared_ for this rebuttal. She knows how Nayeon gets really courageous with her words nowadays.

“Don’t even go there, Im.” Jeongyeon makes sure her eyes flicker with a transparent hint of mischief that speaks of _that_ time, one in a hundred more, and Nayeon remembers the same vivid memory that sends her goosebumps. College. Chemistry Lab. Clothes on the floor. Jeongyeon on _top_.

“Okay…sheesh…” Nayeon feels her cheeks and probably whole fucking face warming. “Let’s just get this over with.”

***

**#3 I’m not an old hag**

Nayeon is more than surprised. This only explains how Jeongyeon’s been occupying too much of her mind the night she arrived in front of the younger girl’s doorstep. A Pinterest-worthy log cabin mansion sits just beside Jeongyeon’s house and Nayeon didn’t notice a single thing.

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“For the last time, Nayeon”, Jeongyeon groans and lifts her leg up over the gate. “This is my best friend’s house. I know what I’m doing.”

Nayeon only rolls her eyes at the complacence. Climbing up fences and private property isn’t in her list of things to do in her life, but if it involves Jeongyeon’s stupidity, Nayeon makes all the excuses for an exemption.

Gym and Pilates must’ve not done her good because she doesn’t suffer like Jeongyeon does but instead, suffers _more._ Her leg feels like a dumbbell and it takes too long for her to life one after the other. 

When she does successfully climb up the six-foot-tall gate around the spacious lot, Nayeon feels like she's dying from the lack of oxygen. She feels like she just ran a marathon but all she did was climb up a stupid gate. (She makes a mental note to fire her gym instructor once she gets home)

“Can you get any slower, grandma?”

Nayeon groans. “Well shit, Jeongyeon, trespassing isn’t really a thing I do on daily basis.”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at the sarcasm. “I told you, this is _totally_ normal. We’re not trespassing.”

“Then why can’t we just fucking use the gate like _normal_ people do!?”

“Because it’s _locked_ , Nayeon! We won’t be able to use it if it’s _locked._ ”

“Why is it—you know what, never fucking mind.” Nayeon sighs and doesn’t want to dwell on whatever goes on in Jeongyeon’s mind. She focuses on the jump of her life she’s about to take.

It’s six feet from the ground and Nayeon wonders if this could possibly kill her. It can’t, right? Or can it? Either way, she jumps (with her eyes closed) because Jeongyeon's staring at her with a shit-eating grin and it's really annoying. When her feet lands on the ground with a thud, a painful prickle sends electric shocks from the pads of her feet to her whole leg.

“Are you done, grandma?”

Nayeon’s eyes shoot open at Jeongyeon’s teasing voice. The younger girl stands a few feet away, watching her gasp for air and judging every muscle and fiber in her core, with arms crossed over her chest and a lopsided smirk on her face.

Nayeon ignores this and pretends nothing happened. She slowly trudges over to Jeongyeon.

“Let’s just go already. Before the cops find us.”

“It’s not _trespassing_ _!_ ”

***

Back in college, before Jeongyeon and Nayeon became the sappy couple they were, they first hated and bickered with each other _a lot_. Nayeon was the grandma and Jeongyeon was the homeless person. It worked out that way. Nayeon used to tease Jeongyeon a lot because the younger girl always lived like a homeless person, with her homeless person pajamas and homeless person rants. Apart from that, Jeongyeon also had a small circle of other homeless people as friends.

Nayeon always joked around homeless person Jeongyeon ™. It never occurred to her how things would drastically change, several years later, as she cranes her neck and adores every nook and cranny of this huge log cabin mansion she’s inside of, and Jeongyeon would _finally_ end that homelessness trait of hers and have decent friends, for once.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a friend this…” Nayeon doesn’t even know how to describe it. The house—mansion—is _beautiful_ , with its meticulously-carved woodworks and statues and furniture. The fireplace is big enough to swallow Nayeon in whole, with wooden spiral pillars and a ten-foot tall Christmas tree beside it.

“Rich?” Jeongyeon finishes it out for her, clearly not surprised. Every person who steps inside of Momo’s house gets a heart attack. “Technically speaking, Momo isn’t rich.”

Nayeon is too absorbed on appreciating the food-themed Christmas tree to bother. She absentmindedly nods back, “Yeah?”

Jeongyeon checks her phone again for any reply in their group chat. They’re waiting for Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung from the Zumba classes. “Yeah. This is Momo’s girlfriend’s house. A gift to her.”

“A gift to Momo or to Momo’s girlfriend?” Nayeon is now interested. There are polaroid pictures attached by a string on the tree, most of which, Nayeon notices, are pictures of two women in a variety of poses too close to pass off even as _mega best friends._

“Come to think of it, I think it was a gift for them both.” Jeongyeon remembers the story of how Mina got the house a few years ago from her parents, fully-furnished and simply on standby for its owners. She was already dating Momo back then and had only recently went public with it. “Probably a blessing or whatever.”

“It’s a _big blessing_ , alright…”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. Nayeon’s having way too much fun with this. “You have your own ‘big blessing’ back in Seoul, why are you so enamored by this?”

Nayeon smiles, not leaving the pictures she's taken interest in to. “Well, because my house in the city isn’t as big as this one and half as beautiful as well. This place has…a certain homey feeling to it, you know? There’s a difference between a house you buy for the sake of having a roof over your head, and a house you buy for the sake of making a _home_ out of it.”

She walks over to the tree again and makes sure Jeongyeon sees and understands what she’s referring to. “This friend of yours—Momo, and her girlfriend—they made a home out of this place.”

There are Polaroid pictures all over the tree. There are of Momo and her girlfriend, Mina; of Momo with Jeongyeon and two other girls Nayeon assumes are Dahyun and Chaeyoung; there are a bunch of random pictures taken; of puppies and playing soccer in the middle of a snowy field; of ice skating and watching sunsets; of Jeongyeon’s face smothered with cake frosting and Momo sleeping like a baby.

Nayeon imagines her house, her minimalistic 300-square-meter penthouse. She imagines her living room, with its black furnishing and its branded equipment all gifts from sponsors. She remembers her bedroom, its cold king-sized bed, and all of the empty shelves and drawers she failed to fill because she never really purchased the house to live in it. She just needed to make sure she had a place to go home to and occasionally sleep in when her schedule permitted her to.

Other than that, her seven-billion won apartment is pretty much just a _place_ to her and nothing more. 

Nayeon smiles when she sees this house and remembers what she doesn't have. “I can never have something like this.”

***

The list of things Nayeon can never have only goes on forever when she finally meets Jeongyeon’s friends, Hirai Momo, Kim Dahyun, and Son Chaeyoung. She follows what Jeongyeon tells her to do (“Hide behind the wall. Wait for me to fetch you there.”) waits, and hears the unfamiliar screaming coming from the three women.

Nayeon hears Jeongyeon explain herself after very _vigorous_ greetings. The younger woman makes a long speech about the difference of her Ex Im Nayeon and the Idol Im Nayeon, and then another long speech about their similarity.

“They’re the same person.” Jeongyeon ends with that and Nayeon rolls her eyes because she could’ve put it that way rather than giving out a thousand unnecessary clarifications. It’s not like Jeongyeon’s talking to a bunch of children, right? As far as Nayeon remembers, Chaeyoung, the youngest, is already 26. She can’t be _that_ —…

“You’re so funny, unnie! What a joker!”

Nayeon hears smack and Jeongyeon hissing in pain, followed by a burst of unfathomable laughter. At first, she’s frustrated because _are they that young?_ but then she realizes, Jeongyeon’s friends just think doubt of their best friend and that makes her laugh too.

She then stands behind the wall for five more minutes just laughing her ass off, listening as Jeongyeon continues and tries to explain and protest at the same time while her best friends just seem to find believing that unicorns exist (Momo, was it?) is easier than believing their best friend dated an _idol_. 

“I’m not lying! I swear!” Jeongyeon’s misery is hilarious. Nayeon can only imagine the look on her face. “If you won’t believe me, come see her for yourself!"

 _Oh, this is my cue._ Nayeon, with her face a tomato from all the laughing, appears from behind the wall, with a serious look she’s trying too hard to keep only to fail after she greets, "Hello. My name’s Im Nayeon.

Jeongyeon lashes out in triumph and satisfaction, feeling glorious at the shocked and paled faces of her best friends. “See? I wasn’t kidding!”

Nayeon finally gets her normal breathing back. She then points at Jeongyeon, nodding. “Yeah. I’m her ex.”

Chaeyoung, Nayeon assumes from the baby face, looks like she’s about to faint. Dahyun and Momo are gaping with their mouths hanging open. Jeongyeon is just having the time of her life with this ego boost.

A full minute passes by with no movement coming from the three best friends, and Nayeon is actually worried now because, although this kind of reaction isn’t new to her (imagine being graced with the presence of an Im Nayeon, right? The _blessing_!), these are Jeongyeon’s best friends and she has to make a good impression.

"Are you--..."

“No way.” Finally, someone speaks up. It’s Dahyun, Nayeon assumes from the blonde hair. “ _You_ dated _her_?”

Nayeon finds herself laughing the shit out while Jeongyeon frowns, taking full offense. She takes this as an opportunity to taunt, “What? You thought you’re the only ones who scored out of their leagues? Huh? Huh!? I also have a rich ex!”

Although everyone knows Jeongyeon can’t sound threatening in the face of Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung, the three live it down for this time only because they're too busy trying to wrap their minds out at the thought of Nayeon the _idol_ and Jeongyeon the _local no-jam._

Nayeon only rolls her eyes at the immature banters. She feels her heart squirm at the ‘ex’ talk but decides to keep that down. Nobody needs to know about it.

It’s Momo who seems to snap out of the shock first. She walks over and offers a civilized handshake. “Hello, Nayeon. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Hirai Momo, Jeongyeon’s best friend. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Nayeon shakes the hand and then retracts with a weirded-out face. Momo isn’t a robot, Nayeon knows, but her voice and her speech sound a little too rehearsed and mechanical that it’s actually odd and scary.

“Cut it off, Momoring.” Jeongyeon feels embarrassed of her best friends. “You don’t have to act like you don’t watch and swoon over Nayeon’s dance practice videos.”

And Momo exhales deeply, as if freed from the chains and she’s just inhaled her first whiff of oxygen after a long time. “Thank _God_. Mina always told me to not weird out new people.”

“Yes, well, you weirded her out…” A new face speaks up, and Nayeon recognizes Dahyun walking over to her to bow her head with a cute, bright smile. “Hello, I’m Kim Dahyun. It’s nice to meet you, Nayeon-ssi. Now that you’re Jeongyeon unnie’s ex, can we also call you unnie?”

Nayeon is taken aback by the straightforwardness of these kids, but she relents with a nod, adoring the milky-white, blonde-haired younger girl.

“There’s your biggest fan, by the way”, Jeongyeon quips, pursing her lips to the still-frozen state of her youngest best friend, Son Chaeyoung.

Nayeon laughs and introduces herself first. If she waited for Chaeyoung, they would've stayed there for an eternity. “Hello, Chaeyoung. Jeongyeon’s told me a _lot_ about you. You’re an artist, right?”

Chaeyoung is still frozen, and when Nayeon attempts to lessen the distance between them, her eyes grow wide, threatening to fall off their sockets. She looks like she's hyperventilating.

“If you don’t mind, I would love it if you could design the cover of my next album?”

Jeongyeon scoffs, knowing all too well the tactic of the older girl. This is just Nayeon trying to win over her best friends. As much as Jeongyeon knows how unnecessary that is (because her best friends seem to like Nayeon _way_ before she introduced her as her ex-girlfriend) somehow, she doesn’t have it in her to stop Nayeon. She likes this. (But will never admit it)

***

Jeongyeon explains what’s left to explain over lunch with Momo’s free fancy full-course meal to “welcome the guest” (Jeongyeon grumbles. She never had this much when they welcomed her! _The injustice!_ )

They talk about everything and anything in between, with Jeongyeon being pushed to the edge when the four start talking about Jeongyeon’s habits and personality like she isn't in the same room. The table is torn over a game of who knows Jeongyeon better but no one is even an inch near winning. Her own ex just got her birthday wrong (It’s got to be November 2, right?”) and her best friends have been spelling her name incorrectly all this time (“Since when was it J-E-O-N-G and not J-U-N-G?!”)

They laugh and joke around, and then Nayeon talks about her life as an idol—to which _overwhelms_ Chaeyoung’s fangirl life because this is _definitely_ the ultimate fangirl experience—which kind of silences the whole table down with the exemption of the absentminded and clearly still fangirling of the youngest. 

It’s uncomfortable for Jeongyeon and it’s apparent to Momo and Dahyun, who only carefully exchange glances between themselves and their other best friend once the topic is brought up while Nayeon only continues to elaborate to the wonder-filled Chaeyoung all about her schedule and her upcoming album.

This is the life Nayeon chose over the life with Jeongyeon. It was always idol life versus life with Jeongyeon. It’s horrible to remember everything again, all at once.

Clearly, it’s painful enough for Jeongyeon to give up on the conversation. Thankfully, she checks her phone just in time to know she’ll be late for work at the grocery mart in a few minutes.

Nayeon gets promptly cut off at the sight of Jeongyeon standing up and pushing back her chair. “Where are you going?” She doesn’t even let the younger girl answer. The idea of Jeongyeon leaving sends her an automatic reaction to follow. Nayeon stands up and pushes her chair back as well.

“No, you can stay”, Jeongyeon stops her midway, absentmindedly placing her hand on top of Nayeon’s.

The older girl is obviously shaken. “I…uh…where…where are you…going then?”

Jeongyeon registers the reaction and follows where Nayeon is staring at. She immediately retracts her hand away. (Of course, the scene plays out like a cute drama in front of her three best friends. A cute drama that will only be added to the long list of Jeongyeon Embarrassing Herself Moments ™)

“I’m just gonna go to work. You can stay here with the girls. They’ll be kind enough to treat you to a five-star experience around this place.” It’s a funny remark in Jeongyeon’s head so it’s confusing how it sounded sarcastic when it came out.

Jeongyeon adds a small smile to dampen the affected atmosphere. “I won’t take long. And besides, Chaeyoung here would _love_ your company, Im.”

Nayeon is still skeptical but Jeongyeon sends her a _look_ so she relents. She’s grown quite some affection for the younger girl who showers her with all the attention she could possibly want, after all. (Jeongyeon knows Nayeon _loves_ being smothered with attention) Even so, it still feels like a hollow cave is being carved into her heart at the sight of Jeongyeon walking out of the dining area, back turned against the four women.

It only takes Nayeon that miniscule of a second to realize how she won’t be able to live through another moment seeing Jeongyeon walk away from her, and how it will be the death of her once Jeongyeon actually does _walk away_ from her.

“So, unnie…” Dahyun chirps with a bright smile as she sits up once Jeongyeon is out of sight, turning to Nayeon whose worrying contemplation has just been (fortunately) broken. “Will you be joining the Winter Wish Auction?”

The idol frowns at the unfamiliar words. “What Winter Wish Auction? I only know the festival itself.”

“Oh, the auction is a new event around here”, Chaeyoung elaborates. Her grandmother works with the prefecture’s elderly council thus her first dibs on the news and gossip around the town. “It’s for the rehabilitation center that’s going to be constructed for the elderly.”

“What happens in the auction? Do we donate something and bid?” The only auction Nayeon ever attended in her whole life was from a few years ago, when her management barged into her apartment and picked out something relatively ‘personal’ to the idol to auction off. They chose a face towel stagnant in Nayeon's supply closet and made it look personal by having her sign on it. A few days later, she got a notice that her “frequently used” towel had the highest bid at 6 million won. Nayeon never understood her fame until then.

Momo chuckles amidst her chewing, “No, no. We’re actually the ones being auctioned.”

“Excuse me?”

“There are only a handful of people in this town, but there’s this title that Mitan upholds very proudly…” Dahyun’s blushing at how she’s trying to put out her words. If tried to explain forwardly, the premise would seem downright wrong to outsiders.

“And that is…?”

Chaeyoung, with all the complacency her small build can hold, proudly declares, “ _Mitan Beauties_.”

Nayeon is then taken to a trip down story lane, with Chaeyoung and Dahyun acting like ancient narrators as they tell the older woman the tales of the town.

They start with the etymology. Dahyun explains that ‘Mi’ means beauty and ‘tan’ probably means something deep as well but she has yet to remember what that is.

There are tales of Mira, the most beautiful woman born in the land, that Chaeyoung tells this time.

She was so beautiful that everybody felt intimated by her presence and left her. These people included her family. The whole town where became desolate and she was the only population left until several years later when a courageous pair of siblings, Tanjiko and Tanami, ventured out into the unknown and ended up at Mira’s village.

Long story short, Tanjiko fell in love with Mira’s beauty and became obsessed with her sorrow. He didn’t love her for _her_. He wanted Mira to stay sad because it would make her vulnerable and easier to control. With such beauty wrapped around his fingers, Tanjiko felt powerful.

Mira, on the other hand, fell in love with the Tanjiko’s younger sister, Tanami. When Tanjiko found out, he told Mira that her feelings were just a deception punished to her by the Deity for being too greedy. She was already beautiful and yet she wished for more. Mira, afraid to pull Tanami into her “punishment” went along with Tanjiko and married him. Tanami, unable to suffer at the sight of her brother and the love her life together, killed herself by poison.

Mira lived a life of misery under the hands of Tanjiko. Seeing her despair and heartbrokenness, the Deity granted her one wish but Mira would have to endure and wait for the longest and bitterest day of time—the winter equinox.

When the time came, Mira wished for one more day with Tanami. The Deity granted her wish and Mira was able to spend the longest and bitterest day of time with the love of her life.

One whole year after that encounter, Mira died of giving birth to her youngest child, born on the winter equinox. She made a wish to the Deity, to protect her daughter whom she named Mitan, beauty of the south.

When the Deity punished Tanjiko for his insatiability, Mitan was blessed with everything her mother had. And along Mitan’s line would be an endless abundance of beauty and affection. When Mitan passed away, the town was named after her, and on every winter equinox would be a feast, and the Deity would grant the wish of the most sincere.

“The end.” Dahyun and Chaeyoung simultaneously singsong with proud smiles, Momo applauding behind an astonished Im Nayeon, “That was great!”

“Even ancient tales were gay?” That’s what Nayeon first says, clearly amazed by the classic tale. Dahyun and Chaeyoung nod.

“That was what our grandparents told us”, the youngest backs up. “So I’m assuming it’s true. Halmeoni never lies unless it’s about my height.”

Nayeon laughs at that but then wonders a few moments later, “But you never really explained anything about the auction …? The tale was _amazing_ , though.”

“Oh, the auction!” Dahyun remembers and then apologizes for her forgetfulness. “The event is basically auctioning off the most beautiful girls in town.” She raises her hand and begins counting with her fingers. “We need five, at least. At the moment we only have me, Chaeyoung, Jisoo unnie, and Joohyun unnie.”

 _That's only two..._ “Momo, you aren't joining?” Nayeon turns to the dancer.

“Eh?” At the prospect of getting auctioned like a toy, Momo pulls off a disgusted face. “I don’t want to. The highest bid gets a free date to the Winter Wish Festival. Although it’s for a good cause, the prize isn’t my liking, as well Mina’s.”

“But didn’t you say your girlfriend was rich?” Nayeon remembers Jeongyeon’s stories of her best friends, of them having rich girlfriends, and a running joke the group made out called ‘the rich girlfriends society’. “She can bid on you and win you.”

“’Bid on me and win me’”, Momo tremors in revulsion at the phrase. “As much as that’s possible and will most likely happen, Minari won’t want me to join. She’d rather donate to the construction funds by herself than auction me off.”

Dahyun and Chaeyoung make playful disgusted faces at the sappy (and true) comment and that only makes Nayeon laugh in amusement. She empathizes with Momo’s opinion. Even she wouldn’t want to join and more or less be auctioned off to give someone a free date for the Winter Wish Festival.

“I don’t think I’d be able to join that. It ruins the whole incognito plan”, Nayeon chuckles and Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung agree. “But I think I can find you the fifth person to complete the list.”

“Who?” Momo’s brows are knitted in confusion. A beat of silence passes by and then she starts laughing, imagining how Nayeon might suggest Jeongyeon _out of all people_ and how funny that would be if it were to happen. “Let me guess, Jeongyeon?”

The younger woman makes it sound as if suggesting Jeongyeon is an absurd proposition. “Is something wrong with Jeongyeon joining?”

“Jeongyeon unnie? Joining? Something wrong?” Dahyun emphasizes dramatically. “Everything’s wrong with it!”

Nayeon is overwhelmed by the reactions. _They could've just said no..._

Chaeyoung keeps her shit together (of course, because she’s in front of her idol) and contextualizes the situation. “You see, unnie—I can call you that, right?” Nayeon nods and Chaeyoung continues, “Well, as much as Jeongyeon unnie wants to get involved with the preparations of the festival, she would rather die than join that, quote on quote, ‘ _stupid auction’_.”

“Why? Did something happen for her to hate joining it so much? “

The moment Dahyun, Momo, and Chaeyoung exchange hesitant glances, Nayeon knows she’s prying into personal territory. She _almost_ takes it back, but Chaeyoung shrugs her shoulders and makes an exemption (something about Nayeon being Jeongyeon’s ex)

“The organizer of the auction is Jeongyeon unnie’s grandmother, Dambi Halmeoni.”

Nayeon remembers the kind and beautiful old lady she bantered with Jeongyeon about earlier that day. The expression on the three younger girls’ faces don’t look too good, so Nayeon doesn’t speak of her enjoyable encounter with Jeongyeon’s grandmother and instead, listens when Dahyun explains, “Jeongyeon unnie doesn’t like her grandmother.”

Nayeon frowns. “What?”

“They have bad blood.” Chaeyoung simplifies it for the idol and lets the blonde continue, “Jeongyeon’s grandmother is the town’s Head of Council. She organizes everything. When Jeongyeon unnie moved to the town, she lived with her grandmother at first. But then they fought about something and Jeongyeon unnie left. She bought her own place and lived by her own ever since.”

Momo frowns at the memory. “We don’t know what happened between them but it must’ve been big because Jeongyeon never came back to live with her grandmother.”

“Her grandmother tried to reconcile a lot of times. They sorted it out, I think” Chaeyoung adds, and Nayeon remembers feeling no awkward tension when they met with Jeongyeon’s grandmother earlier that morning. “But the old relationship never returned. Jeongyeon unnie’s just being polite for the sake of halmeoni’s image.”

Nayeon feels partially heartbroken at the backstory and partially curious as well. There must be a backstory to the backstory, she thinks. “If that’s the case, Jeongyeon still hasn’t forgiven her grandmother then.”

She imagines the old lady’s smile and kindness. A spark ignites inside of her. _Maybe this is my chance to help. Maybe rekindling this relationship will finally make Jeongyeon realize I’m not the old reckless Nayeon anymore._

It feels like a big light bulb set alight and Nayeon now has an idea of the direction she’s going to take. “I have an idea.” She assures the confused (and skeptical) frowns on Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung. “I think I can find you that fifth spot at the auction.”


	3. The Persistent Persuades the Persuadee

Yoo Jeongyeon meets all types of people because of her 9-5 job as a cashier at the local grocery mart. Because it is a small town, she can recognize a face easily. The same people visit to purchase their daily supplies and Jeongyeon greets most of them with the same professional smile she has mastered through the years—the one that’s not too sweet to be creepy but also not too forced to be annoying.

It’s around half an hour of no customers so Jeongyeon thought of checking up on Nayeon with her friends. She was busy trying to backread the flock of messages and sea of emoticons on their group chat when a voice speaks up.

“You’re not supposed to be on your phone at work.”

It’s only a smile at loss when Jeongyeon gets a surprising new customer around four in the afternoon, just when she’s about to finish her shift at the market.

The cashier immediately keeps her phone away, dropping it inside the big center pocket of her grocery mart apron uniform. “I apologize, ma’am, I was just--…”

But the apology gets cut short when Jeongyeon meets eyes with a familiar girl with jet-black hair cut to her shoulders, clad in a rather dashing leather jacket and a juxtaposing black floral dress.

“You’re going to get in trouble if your boss sees you.” It’s a futile attempt at a warning, a really soft one at that, and it irks Jeongyeon.

Causing a scene in public and getting fired from her only job is the last thing she would want to happen though, so she keeps her composure and professionality, and focuses on swiping the plastic of fresh vegetables on the barcode reader.

Jeongyeon continues on with her work even if she feels Bona’s staring piercing holes through her skull.

After finishing with the barcodes and billing the customer, Jeongyeon moves over to pack up the groceries in a bag. The mart was small and driven by an old, grumpy man who couldn’t afford any more extra employees, so the cashier people also packed up the groceries.

Bona pays her bill and Jeongyeon hands over the paperbag.”Thank you for shopping with—…”

“Are you really going to be like this, Jeongyeon?”

Jeongyeon should have known the civility between them was too good to be true.

If anything, wishing for a dispute-free workday is too impossible to happen. Something bad would _always_ follow her. She must have done something awful in her past life to be this unfortunate.

“I’m at work, Bona. Let’s not do this.” It’s a statement more than a request. Jeongyeon will never ask Bona for anything even if her life depended on it.

“I heard you had a visitor?”

“Excuse me?” 

Bona doesn’t even try to hide the spark of interest at the topic. She grabs her bag of groceries. “It’s a small town, Jeongyeon. It’s not hard picking out a lost rose in a sunflower garden.”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at the poetic analogy. Bona always had a thing for literature, it was, quite frankly, endearing only if it were used for appropriate situations.

“Well, she’s not your business, Bona. Now if you may, you’re holding up the line.”

“What line?” It’s clear enough, the cashier counters are empty and Bona is the only customer—aside from the old, bickering couple in Aisle 17—around.

That doesn't faze Jeongyeon though. “The line I’m pretending to have because I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Bona scoffs, expecting the crude remark from someone like the younger woman. “Is that how you talk to a customer, Yoo Jeongyeon?”

“You’re done paying and I already packed your groceries. As far as I’m concerned, you’re not a customer anymore, Bona.”

It’s been months since Jeongyeon last saw Bona. The girl would only leave her alone if she didn’t need anything. For whatever reason did Bona decide to suddenly pay the younger girl a visit, Jeongyeon will find out _. Especially now that she knows something about Nayeon._

“Fine, fine.” Bona _finally_ relents. “I’ll go now.”

Jeongyeon hides a sigh of relief, watching as Bona’s figure slowly disappears from her sight. She returns to her counter and arranges the coins in her register, a habit she does to pass time by. She only has one hour left before her excruciating shift ends.

***

It’s an interesting conversation, Nayeon admits.

Talking about the progressing and hilarious love lives of Jeongyeon’s three best friends is the joy of her night. Not only does she find out about this _rich girlfriends society_ club, she also gets to know more about the three women who have been keeping Jeongyeon company these past years.

They talk about it while Momo gives Nayeon a tour of the house. She tells the idol all about it being an inn and even offered her free lodging, but Nayeon declines.

“Jeongyeon’s house is okay. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave her all alone there.”

Chaeyoung and Dahyun beg to differ. “She’s lived alone for the past six years, unnie. She can handle being by herself.” But they don’t get to the part of actually saying it. Something about the glimmer of hopefulness and affection in Nayeon’s eyes stop them.

Momo goes on about Mina Myoui, her girlfriend. Nayeon finds out Mina is some Japanese ballerina heiress who is rich enough to be dubbed as “the Princess of Japan”. When Nayeon asked Momo “How rich?” for enlightenment, Dahyun laughed and recalled one specific memory.

“There was a time Momo unnie was completely obsessed with racing helicopter toys. When Mina unnie asked her what kind of present she wanted for her birthday, Momo unnie vaguely answered with a _racing helicopter_.”

At the corner, Chaeyoung is wheezing at the memory. Nayeon can see Momo’s ear blushing from embarrassment. The idol already knows where this anecdote is going.

“The next thing we knew, there was a customized helicopter waiting for Momo unnie in the backyard.”

Nayeon joins in with the laughter. She’s rich and would ultimately do anything for Jeongyeon too, she admits that, but nothing can compare to the measure of buying a million-dollar helicopter and having it customized for a girlfriend who likes playing with helicopter _toys_.

“That explains the helipad…” Nayeon teases, remembering the mysterious helipad she saw when they passed by the glass panel doors leading to the inn’s backyard garden.

Before she could ask more of this story, Momo defends herself futilely by rebutting, “I’m not the only one with a rich girlfriend! You have Sana!” and then she points at Chaeyoung. “And you have Tzuyu!”

The tour soon becomesan amusing game of ‘Who has the richer girlfriend’ and nobody looks close to winning the title because Nayeon can’t really decide.

Is it Momo, who has the Princess of Japan like Myoui Mina at her pedestal and she at hers? Is it Dahyun, who met and fell clumsily in love with a self-made multi-awarded Journalist and prodigy like Minatozaki Sana? Or is it Chaeyoung who managed to get herself a one-way ticket to a relationship with an international supermodel and Taiwan’s youngest Most Influential Woman, Chou Tzuyu?

Nayeon will probably never find out. In the meantime, she finds amusement at the counterattacks from the three against each other.

Momo shares that one time Tzuyu rented the whole Louvre Museum for three days to celebrate Chaeyoung’s birthday. (“That was _one_ time! And I didn’t even know she did it!”) Dahyun snitches Momo and shares about that other time Mina bought her twelve hoodies of the same design but with different colors because Momo couldn’t decide which color she wanted. (“I really didn’t know what color!”) Chaeyoung blabbers about that time Sana bought one whole page of the daily national newspaper just to declare that it was Dahyun’s favorite day of the year. (“It wasn’t even your birthday!”)

“Okay, okay”, Nayeon finally interjects the continuing banters. Although she’s having way too much fun in this—and she can’t _wait_ to meet these rich girlfriends—it’s already nearing the end of Jeongyeon’s shift and there are way more important matters to discuss other than arguing about who’s the most pampered _sugar baby._

“The Winter Wish Auction”, she begins, eyeing Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung seriously now. “How do I get Jeongyeon in there?”

Momo throws a shady glare at Dahyun first before turning to Nayeon. “There’s no way you can get Jeongyeon ‘in there’”, she air-quotes. “She’d rather die than join the auction.”

“Yeah”, Dahyun takes a deep breath, recollecting her composure from the frenzied bantering. “And besides, unnie, other than the organizer being Jeongyeon’s grandmother, Jeongyeon unnie also doesn’t want to see a specific someone again. She’s been avoiding Bona unnie like the plague, right?”

_Bona?_

Nayeon frowns at the unfamiliar name. It sounds like a girl’s name, and something in her gut tell her this Bona girl isn’t going to be a good friend of hers (should they ever meet).

At the mention of the name, Dahyun gasps and only realizes then what came out of her mouth, as she covers it with her hands, face full of regret. Momo and Chaeyoung look just about as horrified as her, and something about these reactions send Nayeon desperate for some context.

“Bona? Who’s Bona?”

Dahyun scratches her head, hesitation plastered all over her face. “I…I don’t think it’s our place to tell you, unnie.”

“As much as we’d want to, I think this is personal territory and it’s for the best if you ask Jeongyeon unnie about it instead.” Chaeyoung adds. Momo nods in agreement.

Nayeon begs to differ. “Jeongyeon won’t tell me shit even if I begged. Please? She won’t find out if you tell me. I won’t tell her. I promise!”

Chaeyoung, Momo, and Dahyun look unfazed by Nayeon’s persistency and oath to never tell, so the idol puts her stubbornness to use and continues to beg and annoy the shit out of the three until Chaeyoung finally gives in. “Fine, fine!”

“Wha…Chaeng!” Dahyun stops her first.

They share some kind of knowing look but Chaeyoung moves past it. “Come on, unnie. Don’t you think Nayeon unnie deserves to know this as well?”

“Deserves? As her ex?” Momo didn’t mean to make it come out insultingly, but that’s the way it does go out and she apologizes soon. “I mean, yes, okay, fine. Whatever. But if Jeongyeon gets mad at us, I’m blaming _you_.”

Chaeyoung looks like she couldn’t care any less. She turns back to Nayeon.

“In a nutshell, Bona unnie and Jeongyeon unnie used to date.”

Nayeon already knows she won’t be liking this story.

***

Jeongyeon walks back home exhausted and with a grumbling stomach. She doesn’t have enough change to buy herself some food from the mart or any convenience store nearby, so she imagines some instant ramen waiting for her at home and feasts on the bottle of water she managed to buy.

Before getting off her shift, Momo sent a message to their group chat, something about Nayeon going back _home_ to Jeongyeon’s place, so Jeongyeon doesn’t stop over at Momo’s anymore and instead, heads straight to the ‘home’ Nayeon refers to now.

The window in the living room is glowing yellow, indicating someone’s presence inside. The chimney’s puffing out smoke after smoke dissipating into the winter air, and Jeongyeon is already catching a whiff of something _delicious_ from inside.

 _Nayeon can’t cook, right?_ Jeongyeon recalls a distant memory of Jihyo’s whole building being evacuated after Nayeon set Jihyo’s kitchen on fire.

It makes the younger girl shudder in horror.

Jeongyeon’s got nothing left, so if Nayeon somehow manages to set _her_ kitchen on fire, she will definitely be homeless now.

With the remaining ounce of energy inside of her, the 28-year-old sprints across the street.

The door is left unlocked, so Jeongyeon manages to open it without any hindrance. She expects suffocating smoke from inside, the smell of burning furniture and meat (probably Nayeon), but to Jeongyeon’s absolute tremor, it’s Nayeon in an apron, holding up a tray of…

_Are those cookies?_

“You’re back!”

The intrusion—would it be called that if Jeongyeon’s the owner of the house?—almost makes the older girl drop the tray of (burned) cookies. “I didn’t think you’d be back so--…”

But Jeongyeon is too occupied checking if Nayeon’s managed to set fire into anything in her house secretly, marching right past the older woman and into the kitchen, vigorously and frantically checking her microwave, her toaster, the gas cabinet, and every other cabinet and kitchen equipment that Nayeon can start a fire with.

_The kitchen’s okay. The microwave isn’t burning. No electrical wire seems to be…_

Nayeon is not amused though. “Are you done now?”

“That depends. Did you set anything on fire yet?” Jeongyeon marches past her for the second time and walks over to the living room, checking everything thoroughly again.

Nayeon rolls her eyes, setting down the tray of unappreciated (burned) cookies on the dining table and removing her kitchen mittens like boxing gloves, ready to put up a fight. “Clearly you’re underestimating my cooking skills--…”

“What cooking skills?” Jeongyeon scoffs. “The last time I saw you cook, you _‘accidentally’_ set Jihyo’s kitchen on fire with a spoon. A spoon, Nayeon! _A spoon!_ ”

“Yes, Jeongyeon, I know what a spoon is.” 

The irritation is unmistakable in Nayeon’s tone and that makes Jeongyeon feel a slight surge of guilt in her stomach. _Maybe she didn’t really set anything on fire…yet. All she wanted was to bake a cookie--…wait, a cookie?_

Jeongyeon doesn’t let her guard down though. She moves over to inspect the tray of cookies on her dining table, eyes narrowing suspiciously at the dough pastry. “Is there poison in this?”

The words “Nayeon”, “Baking”, and “Cookies” just don’t match up well to the younger woman. There must be something going on…

“Wow, you really think that low of me, huh…” Nayeon clicks her tongue in dismay. “If I wanted to poison you, I wouldn’t have done it so obviously. Putting poison in a cookie? Really, Yoo?”

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders sheepishly and grabs a cookie. She sniffs it before taking a dramatically small bite.

Nayeon waits and watches with her own displeased frown.

The cookies are chocolate chip ones, with buttery flavor and a crisp texture at first (tiny) bite. The initial taste is good—until the burned sensation kicks in and sends Jeongyeon’s face contorting revoltingly.

Jeongyeon should have known.

“Are they good?”

Clearly, Nayeon hasn’t seen her disgruntled and possibly poisoned face yet.

“They’re burned, Nayeon!” Jeongyeon throws the cookie to the small recyclables trash bin at the corner of the kitchen.

Nayeon feels like her heart just got crumpled and thrown into the trash bin along with the cookie. “Wha—you didn’t have to throw it like that!”

“What did you want me to do? Finish it?!”

Nayeon gasps at the audacity. Her pride, completely destroyed now, drives her to grab a cookie from the tray and shove it into her mouth to prove a point. She chews it and lets the taste melt in her tongue. “See? It’s not that—ack! Ew!”

But her own taste buds betray her.

“See! You almost poiso--…”

“But you didn’t have to throw it like it was garbage!” Nayeon feels ridiculously pathetic right now for even feeling this awful and hurt, but she can’t help it. Jeongyeon’s indifference is exhausting to deal with.

Jeongyeon only watches, taken aback at the sudden reaction.

“You know I don’t cook, let alone fucking bake cookies! But I did! Because I knew you’d be tired and I know you _loved_ cookies before so I fucking asked Momo to teach me and—ugh! You know what?”

Nayeon removes her apron with much force, clearly showing her frustration. “If you didn’t like the cookies, you could’ve just told me! I would’ve gladly given it to other people who can’t even feed themselves, you ungrateful asshole!”

“Then you would have killed innocent lives with your poisoned, burned cookies, murdering witch!”

Nayeon retaliates with a seething glare and Jeongyeon does the same—and then the unimaginable happens, and somehow, Jeongyeon finds herself laughing, as in rolling-on-the-floor-laughing kind of laughing, and Nayeon joins too, and they’re soon caught in a fit of hysterical laughter that would’ve been scarily disturbing at the sight of outsiders.

They’re actually laughing at each other and at how they sound like an old crazy married couple bickering.

Eventually, the mania dies down and Jeongyeon—who somehow managed to actually fall on the floor, laughing—gets up on her feet. Nayeon, who’s clinging on the table for her dear life, snaps out of her amusement. Jeongyeon’s walking away again.

“Where are you going?”

Jeongyeon stops in her steps, still quite breathless. “To my room…?”

“Can’t you stay here for a while?”

The sudden plead is new, so Jeongyeon fully turns around and gives Nayeon narrowed, skeptical eyes.

“What’s with the sudden longing for my presence, peasant?”

She realizes Nayeon’s been up to her whereabouts ever since the day’s morning. She understands the older girl is new to the place, but they’re at the safety and comforts of Jeongyeon’s small, raggedy house now. Nothing can possibly go wrong anymore.

Nayeon looks for her words, and the reluctance on her face isn’t overlooked by the younger girl. Nonetheless, Jeongyeon lets Nayeon speak for herself.

“I…I wanted to…talk to you about something…” For a veteran idol and actress in the hysterical entertainment industry of Korea, Im Nayeon _sure_ stutters and trails a lot.

“That’s a lot to ask for someone who’s just been here for less than a day.” Jeongyeon cocks a brow.

Nayeon wants to take back what she said. She’s put her ego on a rollercoaster ride and Jeongyeon is obviously not going to grant this wish of hers, so this is Nayeon murdering her own self-esteem. If only she could--…

“Wait for me here.”

Nayeon blinks. “What?”

She swears she can see—if she squints closer enough—a small smile on Jeongyeon’s lips.

“I’ll just change my clothes.”

Nayeon gulps down an invisible lump in her throat. “Oh…Okay!” she takes this chance to compose her dreadful speech, watching as Jeongyeon retreats to her bedroom.

***

The last time Nayeon remembers being so nervous was when she was nominated for a Musician of the Year award at the Korean Music Awards a few years ago. They refused to inform the nominees beforehand who would win and walk up the stage, so everything was pretty much really shot live.

Nayeon remembers being dressed in Gucci and going up against big names like Rosè, Seunghyun, and Wendy Son. Who won was entirely erased from her memories (Wendy did, rightfully so), but what carved itself into her recollection was the apprehension, the nerves wracking inside, the guts knotting and twisting.

It wasn’t the best feeling in the world. And it’s safe to say that it is still not Nayeon’s favorite, no matter how rewarding the outcome may be.

So when she starts feeling the same kind of apprehension but in a different scenery now—on Jeongyeon’s living room couch, an understandable distance away from the owner of the house whose attention is focused on the ramen Nayeon managed to make while waiting—Nayeon _tries_ to prepare herself for this time around.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” But Jeongyeon beats her to it, and once Jeongyeon starts, there’s no turning back. “The cookies, by the way, were a surprise. You rarely cook so I’m assuming being with the three stooges have influenced you into something…”

Nayeon remembers Jeongyeon’s always been the faster one in piecing together the puzzle.

“I wanted to talk to you about...the auction…?”

The loud clanging of the metal spoon as it meets the porcelain bowl resonates inside the whole living room. Jeongyeon looks up from her ramen and turns towards the other woman at the end of the sofa, a daggering glare on her face.

“They told you about the auction?” Her tone is laced with venom, and Nayeon can already see the reason why Dahyun refused to let Chaeyoung blabber.

“I insisted”, Nayeon tries to extinguish the fire. To her surprise, Jeongyeon doesn’t lash out on her completely. Instead, the younger woman sneers, “I’m not surprised. I shouldn’t have trusted you with those three.”

Jeongyeon gets up with her bowl of now-finished ramen and walks to the kitchen to dispose of it. “Since you’ve been informed clearly then, I think you know by now that I won’t be attending the auction. I take it, that’s what you wanted to talk about?”

Nayeon’s done. She’s been using her stubbornness all morning and somehow, she’s finished it all, so she resorts to her last option: whining like a needy baby.

“But Jeongyeoon!!”

“No, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon is stern as she shouts from the kitchen, washing her dishes. “I’m not doing it!”

“Pleeease!”

“No!”

“The proceeds go to the rehabilitation center for the aged! That will help a _lot_ of people in the town! Don’t you want that?”

Jeongyeon appears from the kitchen, forearms dripping with water and soap bubbles. “There are other ways to help.”

“Like what?” Nayeon deadpans. “Use up the littlest of your savings to donate to the auction? The savings that can’t even provide for your daily expenses?”

The change in Jeongyeon’s face makes Nayeon regret her words. She really hit rock bottom now. Retaliating by using Jeongyeon’s current state of living against her is the last thing Nayeon would’ve done, but when livid, nothing can really keep her mouth shut.

Jeongyeon, clearly, isn’t an exemption to Nayeon’s lack of control with her words.

“I’ve had enough of this.” She’s tired beyond explanation, so Jeongyeon chooses not to argue anymore. It's what she does best anyway. 

She marches past the older woman, who can’t get any word of apology out of her mouth for fuck’s sake, and makes sure to slam the door once she’s inside her room.

Nayeon is left alone again in the comforts of the living room.

 _That wasn’t in the plan…_ She sighs in frustration.

Nayeon wonders, how the hell will she explain to Jeongyeon what she’s done now? She just signed the younger girl up for the auction without asking for her permission.

But then again…

_She wouldn’t have agreed to do it even if I begged with all of my life…_

Nayeon curses that life. She’s always been able to persuade everyone. It was just always so different with Jeongyeon.

***

_They move on past the girlfriend issues to tackle something far more important, something like putting their lives at risk kind of important. Something like signing Jeongyeon’s name in the list of biddies for the Winter Wish auction important._

_Dahyun uses every ounce of convincing strength she has to stop Nayeon from signing the name, but she fails futilely and just sulks on her own, contemplating whether it’s an option to run away from the town and stay low for a while just until the auction finishes._

_To be fair, it’s none of their fault. Nayeon insisted and Chaeyoung, whipped for her idol, relents to anything the older woman says or asks for. It just so happen that Chaeyoung’s grandparents have access to the event and pretty much telling the younger girl is like signing Jeongyeon’s name up the list itself. Nayeon doesn’t need a pen or anything else. Chaeyoung can just tell her grandparents._

_Dahyun, still sulky, is the least amused and excited about this. “We’re going to die.”_

_No one is listening to her predict the future. Momo, Chaeyoung, and Nayeon lead the latter to the door. It’s already evening._

_“Jeongyeon unnie’s going to kill us, I tell you!” Dahyun shouts on top of her lungs._ _“She’s going to bury us and then dig us out and kill us again! She’ll never forgive us for this!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone asked for my twitter account and i was hesitant at first because i'm an embarrassing pile of human mess, you see, but then i thought this might?? be my chance to get to know you guys who patiently read my stories so i guess?? haha
> 
> so yep see u on twitter :) i am @jenniesteddy (dont ask why pls)


	4. The Role of a Good Wife

Nayeon should have seen it coming.

Jeongyeon’s rage over her meddling is taking a toll on her stay with the younger girl, and in the past few days since they argued about the whole auction thing, Jeongyeon has been doing nothing but give Nayeon the cold shoulder. On worse days, she even avoids Nayeon like the plague.

Jeongyeon would wake up really early, timely enough for Nayeon’s body to still be dead asleep on the living room sofa, to make sure she finishes her chores before sunrise. She brings her uniform with her to work to change at the mart, and comes home without telling Nayeon.

Nayeon, on the other hand, spends her time mostly at Momo’s place, helping the three run the inn and go about their days, visiting town markets and helping at the preparations for the festival.

It goes on like that for days until one morning, Nayeon starts hearing the sounds of rustling and bustling, of muffled curses and the door’s tarnished screeching.

When the harsh winter breeze from outside barges in and pierces through the thin layer of blanket draped around Im Nayeon’s silk-pajama-clad body, the idol jerks awake.

The first thing she sees is Jeongyeon moving around in front of her in the living room, walking back and forth with a laundry basket in her hold and a disgruntled expression on her face. The expression worsens when she sees Nayeon awake.

“Oh, you’re up. Good.” It’s a dramatically exasperated greeting but the idol can take anything right now. “I need a hand with these.”

The older girl, no matter how sleep-induced and bare-faced she is, scrambles to her feet and runs off to help Jeongyeon with the basket a little too eagerly. “Where do I put these?”

(It’s a question really, why Nayeon is the one carrying these loads of laundry when Jeongyeon, in the aspect of physical fitness, is far more advanced than the she is. But Nayeon doesn’t dwell on the bewilderment. Getting Jeongyeon to talk to her again is all that matters for now. )

The younger girl leads her to the back portion of the house, to a room the idol never thought the house would still have space for. The living room, kitchen, one bathroom, and one bedroom all looked cramped up already to begin with (no offense to Jeongyeon)

It’s a room as big as the bathroom. From what Nayeon can see, it’s a multi-purpose room to do your household tasks. There’s an ironing board folded by the corner, a laundry machine, and a tall shelf stacked with varying types of clothing softener, liquid and powder detergent, bleach, and other cleaning products.

Nayeon is surprised at the sight of such an extensive collection of supplies. It’s amusing to her how Jeongyeon still collects cleaning products.

“Go change and bring your laundry with you.” Jeongyeon’s voice breaks her out of her reverie.

The younger girl begins opening the small windows of the room to filter out the dust sitting on window panes and let in the sunlight trying to peek through the gray clouds.

“It’s a beautiful day to do the laundry.”

***

“ _You called?”_ Jihyo’s voice is smug, screaming _I’ve been waiting for you to call_ and Nayeon can only imagine the lopsided smirk on her de facto manager-slash-best friend. 

It’s been a few days and Nayeon hasn’t bothered calling her or messaging her. The last time they spoke to each other was when she asked Jihyo to cancel her Presidential Suite reservations at some five-star hotel a bus ride away, when she thought Jeongyeon would throw her out.

Jihyo’s pissed, Nayeon knows, but tending to her best friend’s displeasure is the least of the idol’s worries as of the moment. (Jihyo can never be _really_ mad)

“I need help!” Nayeon’s yelp is loud enough for Jihyo to put the call on speaker instead of letting it damage her ear.

“ _Good morning to you too, Nayeon. I’m doing okay here, babysitting your dogs and tending to your whole career, the one that you’ve put on hold after you decided to run off to Jeongyeon. Yep, I’m good. Thank you for being concerned.”_

It’s dramatically sarcastic. Nayeon assumes it’s her dogs’ barking stressing out Jihyo and it’s _definitely_ not her. Whatever. It’s still the least of her worries for now. The more important matter here is,

“Can I laundry-wash my bomber jacket?”

There’s a beat of silence on the other line before Jihyo speaks up, _“What?”_

Nayeon stares problematically at the pile of dirty clothes she’s accumulated during her stay.

“My bomber jacket, can I wash it in the laundry machine?”

 _“Are…are you asking me for laundry tips?”_ The shock is evident in Jihyo’s tone. If only Nayeon could see her face at that moment, it would be priceless.

The idol never did her laundry on her own. It was always her stylist doing the chore to make sure her sponsored, expensive apparels stay sponsored and expensive-looking.

“Please, Jihyo! Jeongyeon’s waiting for me and--…”

“ _Wait.”_ Jihyo cuts her begging off. “ _You’re doing laundry_ … _together?”_

And that’s when Nayeon knew, she fucked up.

She can only imagine the urge of her best friend to bombard her with follow-up questions and wisecrack jokes.

Thankfully, Jihyo decides for the better and _tries_ to be serious with her answer. “ _Ask for her help then! Jeong knows all about cleaning and laundry!”_

“I know that, but I don’t want to come at her empty-handed. She might think I’m an arrogant bitch who doesn’t know how to do her own laundry.”

Jihyo scoffs. “ _Are you not?”_

“Hey!” Nayeon exclaims, clearly upset at the truth. “I just don’t want to embarrass myself in front of Jeong, okay? She’s mad at me but she’s talking to me right now and I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

The exasperation is evident in her best friend’s tone. Annoying Nayeon is fun, but Jihyo knows her limits.

“ _Just go be the normal Nayeon in front of Jeongyeon, that’s it. If you talk too much about laundry, Jeong will know you did your research and it will totally ruin the mood. You know studying is not a Nayeon thing to do.”_

“You’re having fun insulting me, are you?”

“ _A little bit.”_ Jihyo chuckles. “ _Anyhow, just be you. Jeong knows what she’s doing. Listen to her and make sure you learn from the master. Your stylists are quitting because doing your laundry wasn’t in the job description.”_

“Ha. Ha.” Nayeon derides, not amused anymore. “I’m paying them a huge amount to do their job.”

_“Then I’ll make sure you have no one to pay anymore when you come back.”_

It’s a warning. Nayeon knows better than to push Jihyo to her edge. She can definitely run away with all of Nayeon’s assets if she wanted to.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” She sighs. “I’ll get going now, Hyo. I can hear Jeongyeon shouting for my ass.”

It’s a whisper but Nayeon still hears nonetheless Jihyo’s teasing comment, _“She loves that ass...”_

“H-Hey!”

Jihyo bursts into a fit of hysterical laughter. “ _Ok, okay. I’ll hang up now. Good luck on playing the good wife role!”_

“Ya!”

***

Jeongyeon puts her white clothes into the whirling laundry machine and then pours some of her favorite liquid detergent and fabric softener. Nayeon walks in just in time, carrying a basket of her dirty clothes.

“It took you long enough.” Jeongyeon puffs out an exaggerated exhale and tends to the aid of the idol. “First things first, assort the clothes: white ones, both top and bottoms, and then colored tops, colored bottoms.”

They do that, sorting out expensive English-freesia-smelling white clothes from the colored ones. It’s all fun and games, really. Nayeon’s expecting Jeongyeon to still hold a grudge against her but to her astonishment (and utter humiliation), the only thing the younger girl is doing is make fun of her again, just like the old times.

“What is _this_!?” Jeongyeon holds up _something_ with her index and thumb pinched together, pinky raised and face sporting such a disgusted look, Nayeon can’t help but seethe in embarrassment.

“It’s my undergarment, Jeongyeon. Suck it up.” The idol snatches the tanga away and throws it into the pile of other undergarments with a frustrated huff.

Nayeon should have known this laundry day is just another excuse for Jeongyeon to start annoying the shit out of her again.

“You wear _that_?” 

“What? It’s not like you haven’t seen me wearing them.” Nayeon looks so casual saying it, Jeongyeon can’t help but blush at the forming images in her— _oh no._ Jeongyeon shudders. _Snap out of it, Jeongyeon._

“Why…? What could possibly be the reason for you to wear a…was that even considered an underwear or a pair of strings attached to each other?”

“It’s a _tanga_ , idiot. It’s a panty for body-fit clothes.” Nayeon rolls her eyes and continues to look through the pile of dirty laundry, making sure nothing personal is left behind for Jeongyeon to use as an excuse to annoy her—

“And what’s _this?_ ”

Nayeon grabs the lace bra away from Jeongyeon’s prying hands. “Oh don’t pretend to be so innocent, Yoo. It’s not like you haven’t seen one of these.”

“At least I don’t wear them.”

“Yeah, because you wear granny panties and mommy bras.”

Jeongyeon growls. “Fuck you, Im.”

Nayeon scoffs with a roll of her eyes. “Oh I’ll be glad if you do.”

“…What?”

“What?”

Nayeon did _not_ know what how that came out of her mouth. She didn’t mean it; it must be the pent-up frustration from Jeongyeon’s ridiculing over her choice of undergarments…unless..?

“You know what? Just soak all of those in water.” Jeongyeon points to the basins stacked on the bottom level of the shelf, “There’s an empty basin there that you can use.”

She futilely hides away her embarrassment by just moving faster and away, because _what the fuck, Nayeon?_ is like a mantra running in both of their minds right now. Jeongyeon heard it clear and perfectly, and wished she didn’t because now, she feels _really_ uncomfortable.

The machine’s timer chimes, indicating the end of the thirty-five minutes Jeongyeon’s set to soap her white ones. She turns the timer off and sets up the empty basin where she’ll put her lathered clothes in.

“Where will you wash those?” Nayeon asks from where she’s seated at the corner of the room, on a small wooden chair piece from a cargo pallet, soaking her undergarments in the water-filled washbasin.

“Outside. There’s no space here.” Jeongyeon carefully gathers her lathered clothes in the machine and moves them into the empty basin. “Once you’re done there, you can put your white ones in the machine already.”

“Which bleach do I use?” Nayeon looks up from her basin.

Jeongyeon purses her lips to the flagon of bleach on the machine, waiting for use. “Separate the ones with and without stains. Don’t use the bleach if there aren’t any stains. Use the red one if there are.”

Nayeon hums and nods, and continues to focus on soaking her clothes in water with her now-chipped expensively-manicured nails. _My manager will kill me if she sees this._

***

Jeongyeon can’t finish her rinsing without Nayeon calling over for help. For half an hour she has been bombarded with questions of _how to do this, how do I do that,_ and Jeongyeon would have snapped if it weren’t for the messy (and adorable) sight she gets to see whenever she tends to the helpless idol. 

Most of Nayeon’s shirt and the lower half of her track pants are damp now, and the older woman doesn’t even know there are soap bubbles on her hair.

“Where do we hang these?”

They just finished washing the second batch of Nayeon’s clothes, her colored tops. Jeongyeon’s done with her garments and now they’re just waiting for the washing machine to finish with Nayeon’s colored bottoms.

“There’s a clothes line outside and a bunch of hangers. We’ll hang them there.” Jeongyeon picks up the basin with the other half of Nayeon’s tops. 

“We’re going to hang my underwear outside?”

Jeongyeon smirks because _of course._ “It’ll take too long if we dry them inside, stupid.”

“But it’s winter…” Nayeon trails off, face disgruntled. She can’t let anybody else see her undergarments. Jeongyeon’s reaction is enough. She can’t have the whole town see her lace bras and other _personal_ clothing.

“There’s a sun, Nayeon.”

“I can see that”, the older woman grits at the obvious declaration. “But I don’t think it’s--…”

“Nobody will see your G-strings and lace bras, Nayeon. Nobody would care.”

Nayeon’s face turns flush red at the blunt statement. Jeongyeon says it so casually; the idol doesn’t even try arguing anymore. She hesitantly relents and carries her basin, following Jeongyeon outside with loud childish trudges. “For the last time, Jeongyeon, they’re not G-strings!”

***

Nayeon huffs out an exhausted sigh as she plops down on the living room sofa. She’s been carrying heavy basins, washing clothes, and hanging them for the entire morning. Her muscles are aching in protest and she just wants to lie down and—

“What are you doing?”

Nayeon opens her eyes and sees Jeongyeon’s figure hovering above her, a scrutinizing glare plastered on the younger girl’s face.

“What do you think? I’m trying to rest. My muscles are aching and I don’t think I can--…”

She’s cut off by the harsh yank coming from Jeongyeon, whose hold pulls her up to a stand in a nanosecond. “Ow!”

“Go change, grandma. We’re going to the market.”

Nayeon shakes ad stretches her limbs in a futile attempt of brushing off the pain from the sudden yanking. “Why are we going there? Can’t we rest first? I’m _exhausted_ , Yoo.”

“I’m exhausted too. Now go change.”

A towel is thrown at her face and Nayeon is too tired (and slow) to dodge it. “Hmpph—Ya!”

But to the older girl’s frustration, Jeongyeon’s already gone and inside her bedroom, changing into a drier set of clothes.

Nayeon plops down on the sofa again, defeated. This time she makes sure her exaggerated sigh can be heard through the walls of the house for Jeongyeon to hear.

_If this is the Lord’s way of testing my patience, then so be it. Jeongyeon will get tired too._

***

Apparently, Yoo Jeongyeon doesn’t get tired.

The market is bustling even with the weather and the minimal number of customers walking around. There are people shouting from every corner, trying to sell off their goods for a reasonable price. Nayeon would’ve enjoyed it here if it weren’t for the appalling smell of raw meat and seafood, and her inappropriate choice of clothing.

When Jeongyeon said “market”, Nayeon thought a small shopping mall and not a wet marketplace.

“You should’ve told me we weren’t going to a--…”

“Shhh!” Jeongyeon hisses at her, turning to the left down the hall where they sell seafood.

Nayeon can barely catch up. Jeongyeon made her carry all the plastic bags filled with varying types of foodstuff, from the three kilogram beef cuts to the fresh fruits and vegetables. Nayeon doesn’t even know why the younger woman is suddenly buying so much.

Jeongyeon runs over to a stall with different sizes of aquariums, fishes swimming inside mindlessly unaware of their soon-to-be fate. Nayeon follows behind with an exasperated huff.

(She won’t deny it though. It’s an amusing sight to see Jeongyeon acting like an amused kid in a toy store)

An old couple greets them with a kindhearted smile and watches as Jeongyeon enjoys the aquarium of crabs wrestling on top of each other. “Obasan, how much for the crabs?”

“1,500 yen per kilo.” The old woman goes to the back of the stall to retrieve some gloves and plastic bag.

Jeongyeon pulls out her wallet. “We’ll have 2 kilos and--…”

“But we can give a discount for the lovely couple.”

“Hm?” She looks up from her wallet. “Lovely couple? Where?”

And then Jeongyeon meets the affectionate gaze of the old couple before her and realizes…

“Oh…us?”

The old man laughs with a nod. “Are you two fighting? Your wife’s face doesn’t look so happy.” His gaze moves over to a disgruntled Nayeon, who only has to hear the words _your wife_ to understand the conversation.

 _My wife?_ _A discount?_ Jeongyeon doesn’t even hesitate anymore. She has spent nearly her entire salary for the last hour they’ve been walking around the market. If she has to make up a small story for the sake of saving up some cash for dinner, she’ll take it. 

“Oh, she’s not feeling well at the moment, ojisan.”

Nayeon doesn’t know where the conversation is going, but Jeongyeon doesn’t look the least rattled so she uses her amazing acting skills and plays along. Technically speaking, her feeling unwell isn’t a lie. Carrying so much is causing her head to ache and her limbs to throb even more.

“Not feeling well?” The old lady repeats and then turns to her husband, a glimmer of something in her eyes that Jeongyeon can’t seem to understand.

They both direct their gazes at Nayeon, and on the ugly trench coat she’s wearing.

The old lady cheekily smiles and then turns to Jeongyeon, “Can it be…?”

Jeongyeon, though, can only understand so much of the cheeky smile. “Can it be what?”

The old couple must know something both Nayeon and Jeongyeon don’t because all of a sudden, they’re celebrating and getting a huge chunk of shrimp from the other bucket and placing it in the same plastic bag along with the crabs.

“O-Oh, we’re not buying shrimps--…”

But Jeongyeon is only cut off by the old lady who basically shoves the plastic bags of crabs and shrimps at her.

“Take those. They’re free of charge. It’s bad for your wife to consume high-mercury seafood.”

Nayeon leans closer, standing behind Jeongyeon, confused herself. “High-mercury seafood…?”

The old lady nods. “They’re bad for pregnant women.”

“Excuse me?”

Jeongyeon is as confused as Im Nayeon. “Who’s pregnant…?” but the words leave her lips in a breathless whisper when she follows the old lady’s smile and affectionate gaze towards Nayeon...and on the midriff of her trench coat. _Oh!_

“Ah, _hai_!” She vigorously nods and holds on to the plastic bags of _free food._ “I’ll make sure my _wife_ doesn’t eat high-mercury seafood, obasan.” She plays along and starts pulling Nayeon away before the old couple can say anything else. “We’ll take care of our child! Thank you again!”

With one last wave of goodbye, Jeongyeon grabs the other plastic bags and tugs (more like drags) Nayeon far away from the old couple, stopping at the end of the extensive seafood hall.

“What the _fuck_ was that?”

Jeongyeon shushes the older woman with her hysterical and annoying laughter. “They thought you were pregnant! HAHA!”

Nayeon frowns and jabs Jeongyeon on the arm. “Do I look _pregnant_ to you!?”

“With that stupid trench coat on, yes.”

“This is your fault!” Nayeon sighs exasperatedly, running a hand through her once-gorgeous-but-now disheveled jet-black hair. “You should’ve told me we were going to a wet market! I honestly thought we were going to a market as in a mall!”

Jeongyeon finally catches her breath and slows down on the laughing. “Sorry, it’s just that--…”

“Shut up.” Nayeon hisses with an annoyed roll of her eyes. “You were _clearly_ enjoying there!”

“Honestly? I was.”

“I thought you hated kids?”

The statement trails off in Jeongyeon’s mind, to a memory of the distant past, of them in college, eating ice cream for dinner in front of a convenience store. The laughter from her lips fade away in an instant.

“I never said that, Nayeon.” The tension changes into a serious but still lighthearted one.

***

_It’s a Friday after classes and Nayeon’s just finished a three-hour drama club rehearsal for the upcoming midsummer production. She’s beyond exhausted and is badly longing for the company of her lavender-scented duvet, but Jeongyeon is a Friday-after-classes affair._

_Nayeon will never miss out on Friday-after-classes where she can just candidly be herself with her best friend-slash- love of her life._

_Jeongyeon won’t miss out on this too. To see Nayeon in flesh is a rare occurrence these days. Her in-demand girlfriend can barely fit a five-minute call into her packed schedule. It’s a miracle Friday-after-classes still happen._

_“How many do you want?”_

_The older girl raises her hand and answers with her fingers. She’s too busy with her ice cream._

_“Two? Four?” Jeongyeon reads._

_A chuckle escapes Nayeon’s ice cream-smothered lips. “Four is my limit though.” She pats her toned abdomen, pertaining to her abs. “I don’t want to lose these babies.”_

_Jeongyeon laughs. She can’t believe they’re talking about this so casually. Nayeon seems to be unbothered about it though. Maybe that’s enough._

_“Will you be able to handle them though?” Her girlfriend turns to her with an affectionate stare._

_Jeongyeon feigns a gasp at the incredulity. “Me? I’ll babysit them?”_

_“They’re your children too.” Nayeon rests her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder and picks on the paper wrapping of the ice cream cone. “And besides, I already carried the babies. Wouldn’t it be unfair if I also had to tend to them?”_

_The mindset is funny to Jeongyeon. “It kind of works that way, yes.” She chuckles. “You know how bad I am at handling kids.”_

_“But they’re yours, Jeong.” Nayeon looks up with eyes that hold the entire galaxy and a smile that can end all wars. “It’s going to be different if they’re yours.”_

_Jeongyeon only hums noncommittedly, giving it a thought. The silence is soft and comforting, and filled with all the love two college students can have. It’s enough love._

_“Will you be okay with having kids at all?” The question is dense and nervous in itself. “I know you don’t like dealing with bouncy kids but I’ll be with you all the way.”_

_Jeongyeon knows her girlfriend loves children and wishes to have her own in the future. In the past, she could never see herself with one, knowing all too well how bad she is at dealing with children. But somehow, when she’s with Nayeon, she sees a different future._

_“I don’t like kids…”Jeongyeon trails off and pauses to press a soft kiss on Nayeon’s head. “But I think I’ll like our children.”_

***

Nayeon must have recalled the same memory because she’s suddenly the one insisting to change the topic with something she’s been meaning to ask but never got to because of all the bossing and shitting around.

“Can I ask you something?” 

Jeongyeon snaps out of her reverie. “What?”

“Are you still mad at me?”

A few seconds pass by between them, and Jeongyeon’s just looking at Nayeon, trying to read her. She remembers something else, of the conversation she had with Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung a few days ago, of the three women convincing her to fix things out with the idol and one specific woman who shall not be named (it’s Momo) suggesting something utterly immature yet Jeongyeon, blinded by idea of false righteousness, gladly takes into consideration.

(“She’s not going to be happy about this, unnie.” Dahyun is disappointed but Jeongyeon is stubborn.

“I was also not happy about what she did. Where’s the justice here?”

“But she’s an _idol_. If she wanted the paparazzi following her, she would’ve declared to the world her whereabouts by now but no, she didn’t. Because she doesn’t _want_ to have cameras invading her privacy.”

“Think about how she’ll feel if she finds out you signed her up to the auction, unnie.” Chaeyoung joins in.

Jeongyeon only frowns and stays certain. There’s no turning back now. “Well too bad, it’s already done. Won’t she want to help out such a poor town like ours? That would be a big boost to her generosity and image as an idol.”

“This isn’t a joke, unnie. We’re serious.” Dahyun is thankful the older woman is already talking to them, but this is just a catastrophe waiting to happen.

“And I’m serious too.” Jeongyeon stays firm. “The chaos started the moment she decided to walk back into my life again.”)

“Jeong?” Nayeon’s soft voice shatters Jeongyeon’s cloud of thoughts. The endearment makes her want to vomit.

“No.”

The idol’s eyes widen and glimmer of hope and happiness. “Really?”

“There’s no use getting mad at you. What’s done is done.” Jeongyeon smiles faintly and continues to walk down the other hall. “And besides, you were right. I do want to help out with my town. This is my only home now.”

The thought of _homes_ make Nayeon feel her heart get tugged at two opposing sides. One feels happy Jeongyeon gets to have a _home_ now, where she’s happy and loved; the other feels envious Jeongyeon has a _home_ now, and it isn’t with her.

“I also have another question…”

Jeongyeon laughs absentmindedly. “What’s with all the questions? Is this an interview now?”

Nayeon follows behind the younger woman as they walk to the exit of the marketplace. “Why are we buying so much food all of a sudden? Are you going to have a party or something?”

That’s another reason why Jeongyeon’s decided to reconcile with the older woman _all of a sudden._ It’s that time of the month again and she can’t leave Nayeon unsupervised at her house. The idol might really burn the place down this time.

They reach the line for the taxi. Jeongyeon hails for a cab with her free hand while the other lowers the plastic bags down on the floor.

When a taxicab arrives, she opens the front door for Nayeon. “Get in.”

“Are you going to ship me off somewhere far away and get rid of me for good? Are you going to sell my organs and make money out of it too?”

Jeongyeon actually laughs at that one but the seriousness and slight horror on Nayeon’s face shuts her up. “No! Why would I even—did Dahyun tell you that?”

Nayeon nods.

“That girl…” the younger girl sighs, rolling her eyes. _Of course, leave it to Dahyun to think of the craziest things in the world._

“I’m shipping you--…” Jeongyeon grabs Nayeon’s hand and pulls her to the passenger’s seat, pushing her head down and guiding her inside. “…back to my house.” She shuts the door.

“What? Where are you going then?” Nayeon’s voice is loud enough for the driver to wince.

Jeongyeon places the plastic bags by the backseat. “I have to meet someone. I’ll be back.”

At the prospect of Jeongyeon meeting someone else (that Nayeon assumes is neither one of her three best friends), Nayeon feels like someone punched her in the gut. She’s then reminded of the fact that her world, the one she’s only now getting to create with Jeongyeon, is just another illusion.

“Be safe, okay?” Is the only thing Nayeon can say now after rolling her window down to wave goodbye. She feels really pathetic right now, for missing Jeongyeon already when she’s still there, for wanting Jeongyeon when she has no right to anymore.

“I will.” Jeongyeon nods and waves back. She watches the cab pull out of the driveway and into the streets, not letting Nayeon leave out of her sight until the vehicle is too far to see already.

Left alone now, she pulls out her phone and looks for the message she received earlier that day, of hotel details and a familiar friend she’s missed seeing.

Jeongyeon decides to send a message. _I’m omw there :)_

She can’t wait to see Jihyo again.

***

It’s that time of the month again when Park Jihyo ransacks her whole apartment to prepare her gears.

The annual camp-outs have become a tradition within their group and it is Jihyo’s favorite event every once in a few months. The trekking and the outdoorsy activities were fun; it’s just that Jihyo _loathed_ the night before, where she has to prepare her outdoor gears and everything else she needs to survive the wilderness. 

It was bad when she had to do it for herself. It’s even worse now that she has to prepare not only her things but also Im Nayeon’s.

_I’m not a babysitter, Yoo Jeongyeon!_

At first Jihyo thought she was lucky. She wasn’t assigned to plan anything. Expenditures were divided into certain members of their group and Jihyo was fortunate enough not to be assigned to any of the beforehand tasks unlike Jeongyeon who was assigned to food expenses, Momo was on the venue preparations, and Mina was on the transportation.

Jihyo kind of forgot Nayeon was joining them now so the tiresome preparations became a whole new level of excruciation.

It’s hard enough to pack for herself; It’s a thousand times harder and worse when she has to pack for a picky, overly-sensitive idol that can’t even, for the life of her, purchase bags under the size and weight limit at the airport.

So this is where Jihyo finds herself now: splayed out on the carpeted floor of her hotel suite in Japan, mindlessly going through her written list of things to bring for her and for _Nayeon_ , checking through the Louis Vuitton luxury trunks and Hermes luggage sets she had to bring and pay 117,000 Won for on behalf of excess and overweight baggage fees.

Jeongyeon arrives perfectly in time, ringing the doorbell just as Jihyo’s in the middle of keeping tabs of how much Nayeon owes her. (Hint: it’s certainly above a _ten million_ won. Jihyo’s credit card is crying for help)

“About time you’ve arrived.”

A chuckle escapes Jihyo’s lips. “Aren’t I supposed to be the one saying that?”

Jeongyeon lets herself in, walking into the living room while Jihyo closes the door behind her. “Didn’t you say your flight was supposed to arrive earlier afternoon? You sent me a message at four.”

At the memory of her horrendous check-in, tiring flight, and ghastly arrival, hauling behind by herself luxury trunks and luggage sets all bigger than her frame, Jihyo shudders. “I would’ve arrived earlier if it weren’t for the excess baggage you had me bring.”

“What can I say? It’s Nayeon, Ji. _Im Nayeon_.” Jeongyeon chuckles and settles for the edge of Jihyo’s bed, carefully walking over and avoiding the trunk sets and personal belongings splayed out before her.

Jihyo walks over to the suite’s kitchen to pour herself and her guest some welcoming champagne. She saunters back to the bedroom to hand it over. “Unfortunately.”

They spend their time talking over the things Jihyo packed, of the _horrendous_ trip, and just everything in between.

“Speaking of Nayeon”, Jeongyeon takes a short sip of her champagne. “How is it going there?” She purses her lips and points towards a vague trajectory far behind Jihyo, confusing the latter.

“Where?”

“In Korea. How’s the entire country doing without its favorite idol?”

There’s a split second interval between the changes of expressions on Jihyo’s face. She begins with a vague nod; her face contorts into a wary frown, and then a meaningful smile, something that speaks a thousand emotions behind it.

Jeongyeon is skeptical. Does she want to find out the story behind Jihyo’s expressions? If she does, she’ll only get hurt in the end, finding out about how amazing Nayeon’s life has been without her. Because Nayeon choosing her future over a future with Jeongyeon is still going to be painful memory even though Jeongyeon convinces herself a thousand times a day she’s over Nayeon.

She _is_ 99% over her.

But there will always be that one percent.

“Do you really want to me to answer that question, Jeong?” Jihyo’s cocking a challenging brow at her, playfully tilting the champagne fluke side to side to amuse herself.

Jeongyeon stares the bloodshot color of Japanese champagne. “I don’t.” She then looks up at her best friend and levels with the challenging guise. “But I want to find out how South Korea has been treating its number one idol.”

Jihyo snorts at that, followed by a chuckle that’s the least happy sounding. And then she nods her head. “If that’s what you believe in, then I do think you _really_ don’t know Nayeon anymore.”

The lopsided smirk on Jeongyeon’s face slowly fades away. She looks over to the Louis Vuitton luxury trunk set and wonders how much that cost her ex. _It’s probably not even an inch worth Nayeon’s worrying while it can pay for my whole house and my bills for the next decade._

“It’s been six years, Ji.” And while they did meet over those six years, there had always been an unspoken agreement between them. Nayeon was someone whose name shall never be mentioned. “You can’t blame me for trying to forget her.”

(Keyword: _trying_ )

Jihyo scoffs and futilely hides the way she rolls her eyes. She chugs down the remaining champagne in her fluke before reaching over the pouches filled with Nayeon’s sunscreen and mosquito spray to retrieve her phone. She opens it and taps on something, and then hands the device over to her curious visitor.

“And here I thought you’d be more mature over the years…”

Jeongyeon heard that but is too stunned by the words before her to react.

She’s in Jihyo’s camera roll, looking at a screenshot of what seem to be a Korean Herald entertainment article written and published a month ago.

> **_Who is to Blame, Im Nayeon or Agency?_ **
> 
> _Byeol Entertainment stocks plummet following recent Im Nayeon performance at the Winter is Coming concert in Pyongyang, North Korea._
> 
> _As of 10:30AM KST on the 17 th, Byeol stocks in the KOSDAQ market have plunged by a whopping 32.85%. Financial analyst Hwang Sun Bin of Dock Investment Corporation reports it as the worse record of the company’s ever since its founding in 1996. _
> 
> _Financial analysts blame the market; however, the media blames the agency’s once “Princess”, veteran idol Im Nayeon._
> 
> _Allegedly, the stocks of the company were already dropping gradually but it plummeted into its record-breaking 32.85% after the recent North and South Korea Peace concert, the Winter is Coming, held in Pyongyang, where veteran idol Im Nayeon performed._
> 
> _Online media articles are calling the twenty-nine-year-old idol spiteful names for giving an “inappropriate” performance despite North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un’s applauds._
> 
> _Neither the idol nor the agency’s representatives have yet to present to the public their statements regarding the issue._

  
The disgruntled frown on Jeongyeon’s face sends Jihyo into an automatic response to contextualize, “Apparently, when you’re past 25, the country acts as if your hair is turning gray, your knees won’t function well anymore, and you’re too old to be performing on stage.”

The social taboo on promoting idols near their thirties is not an unfamiliar topic for Jeongyeon. Though she had long forgotten the world of music and entertainment in Korea, thinking it was never for her to think about and concern herself with, she did have her own fair share of idols _before._

“What happened during the concert?” Jeongyeon’s partially hesitant and partially curious. She’s hesitant because _does she want to know?_ and curious because _she has to know._

Jihyo looks hesitant herself, the memory of the nationwide hysteria still revolting, nevertheless in the end she speaks so anyway.

“Since the industry thinks women her age shouldn’t bother with the cutesy concept anymore, Nayeon released a more mature song; the same one she performed at the Winter is Coming concert in Pyongyang. With the concept, the dance was also a little more on the mature side. She performed it in front of the Kim Jong-Un and his family. They _loved_ it.”

Jeongyeon frowns. _If they did then why is South Korea shunning Nayeon for it?_

Jihyo answers her. “Unfortunately, the local industry didn’t feel the same. Everyone began hating Nayeon for it, making inappropriate jokes about how she would unite North and South Korea again with her ass. It was mass uproar and Nayeon was forced to stop her promotions. Various entertainment outlets—like the one you just read—began digging through her past and making profit out of them, stirring up useless rumors and drama about nonexistent exes and sickening flings.”

The horror is evident on Jeongyeon’s face as she listens. She can’t even imagine the pandemonium and how Nayeon must have been so rattled and traumatized by it. The older woman can’t even handle it when useless rumors were fabricated about her when they were in college.

“The mayhem didn’t stop from there though.” Jihyo sighs exasperatedly. “You would think that if your star idol was in such a scandal, her agency would protect her, right?”

Jeongyeon shouldn’t have nodded but she did because _isn’t that they’re job??_

“Wrong!” Jihyo cries. “When the scandal broke, despite the backlash, she was also gaining more attention. A lot of TV shows wanted to interview her, magazines, newspapers. Nayeon’s agency saw it as a strategy to make more profit out of their star idol, so instead of extinguishing the fire, they poured more gas to it.”

“What did they do?”

Jihyo snorts. “They sold her to newspaper outlets behind her back. They would send old pictures of Nayeon taken when she would be out with her friends, made it look like she was seeing someone.”

There’s something else Jihyo should tell, another part to the story that is Nayeon’s career before going incognito, but then she thinks of how Nayeon ran off to Jeongyeon with a fabricated excuse. _What was it again? A drama she had to prepare for?_

So Jihyo chooses to shut up about _that._ She’ll save that up for Nayeon to tell.

Instead, she joins Jeongyeon on the bed and lays down on it, looking up at the calm white ceiling her hotel suite provided. “So yes, Jeong, you don’t know Nayeon that much anymore.”

Jeongyeon lies down beside her with a deep sigh and a dumbfounded nod.

Jihyo remembers the night Nayeon broke down in front of her, crying over what she had read—comments, death threats, everything. She remembers the total lockdown, the stalkers, the malicious rumors, everything Nayeon had to deal with alone.

“You think the country misses Nayeon because she’s the number one idol?” Jihyo feels her heart breaking again. “She’s not the number one idol. They call Nayeon, the Nation’s Whore.”

There’s a painful punch in Jeongyeon’s gut. She calls it guilt, regretful of how she had been speaking so low and treating Nayeon so badly over the past few days.

“I hope you know I’m not telling you all of this because I’m trying to make you sympathize with Nayeon.” Jihyo sits back up and looks at her visitor still resting on the bed.

“I’m telling you this because I want you to know that you are not the only one who’s living a hard life. I know you two are exes and you have bad history together, but Nayeon’s here. And she’s _trying_. I know you can see that.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t nod but she gets it.

Jihyo playfully jabs her on the stomach. “So _be nice_ , Jeong. Nayeon’s trying. You should too.”

The _trying_ is vague in Jeongyeon’s part but she nods as well. Just because the thought of the life Nayeon had to live is still bothering her. She had selfishly assumed she was the only one who lived a hard life. _But Nayeon had to go through hell alone._

_No one deserved that._

In the end, Jeongyeon obliges like a faithful servant to the god that is her best friend.

“I can’t promise you anything but I’ll _try_ from now on.”

To _what_ is she agreeing on? Jeongyeon will never find out.

_I’ll try for Nayeon._

***

(That night, after Jeongyeon’s goodbye, Jihyo is left alone in her messy room, wondering. Is she being less of a best friend when she’s lying to protect another best friend?

Would it be considered lying if she chose not to tell Jeongyeon the _whole_ story? )


	5. The Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human cub’s smile only widens at the sight of Nayeon in front of her. “It’s going to be much more exciting now that we have you to join us, unnie. This is going to be like, your introduction to the group.”

When Jeongyeon comes home, she is greeted by the sight of all the plastic bags from the market scattered in her living room. The frozen meat has melted and damped up her carpet and some of the leaves from the green onions have flown away from the wind surging through the opened window.

Everything in her house was kept neat and in place 24/7 but ever since she had her unannounced visitor staying by, the routine that Jeongyeon sacredly lived by had been turned upside down.

On a normal day, the sight would have made the clean freak livid. She would have probably snapped at the person responsible for the mess and thrown cleaning supplies at her.

But that was on a normal day. And a normal day didn’t have the sight of Nayeon passed out on the living room sofa, lying on her back with one arm dangling from the edge, snoring with drool trailing down.

So Jeongyeon doesn’t get mad this time. She doesn’t snap and she doesn’t throw cleaning supplies at someone. (She couldn’t if it was Nayeon)

Instead, she quietly takes care of the mess first, grabbing the plastic bags and arranging them in the kitchen. The meats are placed in a Tupperware and into the freezer alongside the seafood. The vegetables are in a different container, and the fresh fruits are sliced and placed all together.

After tidying things up in the kitchen and in the living room, Jeongyeon decides to deal with the other mess: Im Nayeon.

Jeongyeon can still hear the complaints and the curses from the older woman playing at the back of her mind like a broken record. She didn’t give Nayeon any time to rest and instead made sure the idol would herself out with all of the _simple_ chores Jeongyeon had been doing for the rest of her life.

In hindsight, it isn’t fair for the older woman. Jeongyeon had been doing the chores for as long as she could remember and Nayeon was still new to the everyday jobs. Not to mention, the woman was growing old. _I should have been more considerate. She’s basically a senior citizen now._

Nayeon’s definitely exhausted and worn out and there’s no way she can sleep properly—even though she’s basically dead right now—on the sofa.

So this is Jeongyeon’s way of being considerate.

The former athlete—Yes, Jeongyeon did sports back in college—stretches out her muscles first, knowing all too well how, despite Nayeon’s continuous bragging of how fit she is because she’s an idol, no one is really _that_ light.

After stretching her arms and her back, Jeongyeon tries to calculate the angles. She stands in front of the sofa, hovering above Nayeon, analyzing the half-dead woman.

She takes a very deep breath first before carefully locking Nayeon’s arms around her neck, making sure they’re tight in place and holding her collar for support. Once that’s done, Jeongyeon places her forearm at the back of Nayeon’s neck and the other arm behind Nayeon’s knees. She pulls the older woman’s frame closer before lifting her up.

A grunt escapes Jeongyeon’s lips. _I knew it! You were lying about your weight!_

Each step she took, she would groan. Nayeon was heavy and somehow, she must have found comfort in the younger woman’s arms because she’s suddenly holding on to Jeongyeon’s neck tighter and growing heavier.

_Is that even possible?_

Either way, Jeongyeon’s doesn’t even bother thinking about anymore. The only thing in her mind right now is getting Nayeon on her bed faster.

_…that didn’t sound right…_

Finally, after what seemed to be the longest steps to her bedroom, Jeongyeon has finally arrived. Thank God she left her door opened or else she’ll have to handle with how to turn the knob. Now that she’s in her room, the only problem left is carefully putting down her ex.

Unfortunately for Jeongyeon, Nayeon begins budging in her hold. She has no choice but to put the older woman down as carefully as she can. So Jeongyeon slowly bends down her knees and once stable, places Nayeon on the bed.

Jeongyeon doesn’t even get to stand up anymore. Her legs give out because of her ex’s outrageous hidden weight.

“You should’ve told me you were this heavy…”

Nayeon moves on the bed and that shuts up Jeongyeon’s complaining.

But the only thing the older woman does is settles to her side, back turned towards her carrier, and snore a decibel louder. The younger woman sighs in relief, knowing she’s good to go.

Once that’s done, Jeongyeon walks over to her cabinet to do her last task for the night, as per Jihyo’s request— more like _demand._ (“You owe me this one, Jeong. You know how unprepared that grandma is.”)

She pulls the closet open and rummages through her garbage pit of a cabinet, looking for camping clothes to lend to her ex.

***

Here’s what happens: Jeongyeon doesn’t get to sleep.

There’s no time to when she has to prepare everything for the camping trip—the fruits, meat, seafood, the camping cooking sets, the medical kits (for Nayeon purposes), and the clothes—and make sure they’re up and going by 4AM.

Nayeon is miraculously easy to wake up despite sleeping like a dead person last night. Jeongyeon wonders if it was the idol inside of her taking control, knowing all too well how the schedules of an idol don’t really know the concept of the word “rest” and that five-minute naps were the closest to actual sleep.

Nayeon must have really gotten used to being woken up so early; she didn’t budge at Jeongyeon’s first tap on her shoulder.

(Of course, who would, when the person waking you up looks so beautiful and soft, telling you with all the love in the world, “Wake up, grandma.”)

Nayeon, though, can’t help but be utterly bewildered when she’s told to dress up in clothes that she’s sure aren’t hers, watching Jeongyeon—the _owner_ of said clothes—walk back and forth her cabinet to her bed, packing things up.

“Are we going to get more firewood?” _Another twig-collecting adventure of a lifetime?_

The idol sits cross-legged on Jeongyeon’s bed (in her haste, she totally forgot to ask the dying question _why_ she woke up _there_ ) patiently watching over the frantic younger woman still in her pajamas.

Nayeon already took her bath and dressed up in a three layers of clothing—all Jeongyeon’s. The first layer is thermal leggings and a long-sleeved top, followed by a merino wool sweater and snowboard pants. The finishing piece is a padded mountaineer jacket, complete with the faux fur hoodie that makes Nayeon feel like she’s going to dog sled with Malamutes in Siberia.

“It’s a surprise.” Jeongyeon answers almost passively before walking over to the older woman and pulling her off the bed by the arm. “Now go to Momo’s and wait for me there. Tell them I’m just making final inspections.”

Nayeon can barely wrap her mind around what the fuck is happening. She’s dressed in three layers of clothing and it feels like she and Jeongyeon are running away in such a godawful time (it’s four in the fucking morning)

The thought though, sends a goofy smile on the idol’s face.

“Okay…” She follows like a good little kid, grabbing her phone on the bed and making her way outside. “Be safe.”

(Somewhere inside Jeongyeon somersaults when she hears Nayeon’s goodbye. _Be safe._ )

***

It’s not a surprise to Nayeon when no one notices her not-so-subtle presence in the room. Who would when the entire mansion is in utter disorder?

There are unfinished backpacks scattered in what is supposed to be a peaceful and inviting receiving area; Momo is running back and forth upstairs, too fast and in a haste to even notice Nayeon standing below; Dahyun is nowhere to be found but Nayeon can hear the blonde’s shouting, something about looking for her beanie.

Thankfully, someone finally notices the idol’s presence.

Chaeyoung walks out of one of the kitchen doors with a mug of hot chocolate. She stops in her steps when fronted by the sight of the older woman, “Unnie!” but the wide smile on her lips slowly fade away when she gives Nayeon a good look from top to bottom. “…what are you wearing?”

Nayeon would have asked the same thing out of comeback purposes, but Chaeyoung is dressed just right, with jeans and a black hoodie underneath a long padded coat.

The older woman snorts, “I think Jeongyeon’s sending me off to go dog sledding in Alaska.”

Chaeyoung gets the joke perfectly. She laughs a little before offering hot chocolate to the idol. They head over to the kitchen where there is less pandemonium going on. There’s just the sweet smell of flowers and really good calming music playing, a substantial transformation in the room’s mood.

Nayeon sits down on one of the island stools and admires the kitchen from her place, still in awe of how the rooms in Momo’s house have varying _feels_ in each of them.

“Unnie”, the younger woman appears from the pantry, a sachet of Swiss Miss Powder in hand. She pours it to the mug of hot water waiting on the kitchen island. “Why are you dressed like that?”

Nayeon chuckles and rolls her eyes. “Don’t ask me. Jeongyeon’s the one who made me wear this.”

At that split second, a playful knowing look sports the face of the human cub. It’s almost annoying if it only didn’t come from Chaeyoung, who has the inept ability to make everything adorable and endearing.

“That explains the jacket.”

Nayeon pads her fingers through the zipper of the dramatic mountaineer jacket she’s wearing. “What explains it?”

Chaeyoung grabs a teaspoon from the cupboard and then begins stirring the mug of the hot chocolate before sliding it over to Nayeon’s. “That’s Jeongyeon unnie’s favorite jacket.” A silly smile tugs at her lips and the older woman can’t help but feel butterflies again. “She always wore it whenever we did these trips.”

But the butterflies are quickly forgotten at the mention of the last phrase.

“Speaking of trips…” Nayeon trails, recalling her initial confusion in the first place. “Can you please explain to me what the _hell_ is going on around here?”

Everything just moved too fast for her to understand. One moment she was blissfully asleep dreaming of kisses and happily-ever-after’s with Jeongyeon, and the next, she’s woken up at three in the morning in someone else’s bed, by the owner of said bed who is too busy packing _her_ clothes in a big ass backpack.

Chaeyoung joins her in the kitchen island, taking a seat on the stool across Nayeon’s. “Jeongyeon unnie didn’t tell you yet?”

Nayeon tries to fight a scoff at that because _obviously, Jeongyeon won’t tell me_ but it’s Chaeyoung, and the older woman _really_ has a soft spot for this adorable human cub, so she shuts up and shakes her head instead.

A light understanding chuckle escapes Chaeyoung’s lips before she states, “We’re going camping, unnie.”

The shock on Nayeon’s face is not overlooked. Her eyes grow wide in horror for the prospect of camping in such a harsh weather isn’t really exciting to begin with and the wilderness kind of _hates_ her.

(Nobody shall ever mention the time she got lost in the woods while shooting for a commercial. Half an hour later, the staff found her somewhere, covered in dirt with leaves in her hair. Safe to say, they halted the commercial shooting but asked for her to pay for the sponsored outfit.

It wasn’t a splendid experience.)

“Camping? Why are we going camping?”

Chaeyoung indulges herself with the floating faux marshmallows on Nayeon’s untouched hot chocolate. “It’s an annual thing that we do around here. Dahyun unnie and I don’t visit much so when we do, we make the most out of it by having these camp-outs as a form of bonding because we all like going out and enjoying nature.”

The human cub’s smile only widens at the sight of Nayeon in front of her. “It’s going to be much more exciting now that we have you to join us, unnie. This is going to be like, your introduction to the group.”

The shock and horror in Nayeon is completely washed away by the last phrase. She feels a silly smile tug at her lips, a giddy feeling itching in her stomach. “Introduction?”

Chaeyoung nods vigorously, beaming so wide her adorable dimples show and melt Nayeon’s heart. “Yes, unnie! Everyone in the group is going to be coming. You’re _finally_ going to meet all of them!”

“ _All_ of them? As in, the Rich Girlfriends Society?”

At the mention of the joke, Chaeyoung lets out a heavy sigh of humiliation. Jeongyeon came up with the stupid nickname and now they’re stuck with it.

“Yes, unnie.” She states flatly. “The Rich Girlfriends Society.”

Nayeon laughs. She flips her gaze to the mug of hot chocolate, noticing its lack of steam now, perfect to drink in one go. She does that. After feeling the comforting sensation of the lukewarm liquid trickle down her throat, she sighs in relief.

“Where are we going camping then? Somewhere far away?”

“I have no idea, unnie. The planning jobs are assigned to individual members of the group. For this one, the venue task is on Momo unnie and she won’t tell us.” Chaeyoung moves to reach over the island and grab the empty mug, walking over to the kitchen sink to dispose of it. “But I heard Mina unnie had to prepare two off-roads for this one, so…”

“’Had to’? You mean you don’t go to your camp-outs by car?” Nayeon can’t _fathom_ having to trek through the harsh weather at four in the morning carrying backpacks and tents. _That’s hell, man._

Chaeyoung, though, looks the least bothered. “Well, yeah. It’s really fun getting to talk to the natives in that area. We usually just take the bus and stop somewhere near the venue so that we can take more walks together.”

Nayeon’s almost about to complain and ask again, but Chaeyoung’s eyes widen at a trajectory behind the older woman, an excited squeal leaving the human cub’s lips. “Speaking of Mina unnie! Unnie!”

“Chaeyoung-ah, why aren’t you--…”

But the moment is cut off when Nayeon turns around and gets a good look at the woman known as the Princess of Japan and also, Hirai Momo’s One and Only Girlfriend.

If someone can shove the term overdressed yet underdressed simultaneously at Nayeon’s face, it would be this stunning woman.

_It’s like looking at the epitome of elegance and wealth…_

Mina Myoui—Nayeon remembers a fancy name when she has to—is dressed in black skinny jeans and a cream-colored turtleneck, with hiking shoes and an expensive-looking faux fur parka to finish everything off.

Nayeon is pulled out of her trance at Chaeyoung’s exclaiming and surprising teleportation beside her, “Mina-san, this is Nayeon unnie, Jeongyeon unnie’s you-know-what…”

There’s poking in Nayeon’s ribs and it’s the human cub’s cheeky ones. She playfully thrusts her hip sideward to push the tiny fingers away.

It’s not the time for Nayeon to embarrass herself in front of Momo’s girlfriend so she stands up and walks over to greet the lovely woman whose Jasmine scent engulfs Nayeon the moment she stepped into personal territory.

“Hello, Mina-ssi. I’m Im Nayeon.” The idol curtly bows her head and offers a hand shake.

She now understands the implications of “The Princess of Japan”.

Mina takes the hand with her own ones (her _very soft_ ones) and bows the same, “Hello, Nayeon-ssi. It’s nice to meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you.”

That kind of ruins the moment because Nayeon vividly hears the sound of tires screeching in her mind, reality hitting her like an iceberg. “She did, huh?” There go her chances of actually looking like a respectable human being in front of a stranger…

“Don’t worry, Nayeon.” Thankfully, Mina seems to be fluent in the language of mental breakdowns, understanding Nayeon’s crisis from the contortion of her face. “Jeong didn’t say anything bad.”

The older woman sighs in relief. _Thank God._

Their little introductory is cut off at the sound of another familiar voice, this one belonging to the person always caught up Nayeon’s mind, especially as of late.

Jeongyeon barges into the kitchen in a dashing hiking attire—skinny jeans, a wool sweater, and a long padded coat—with a cheeky smile plastered on her equally dashing face. “I see you two have met.”

Mina and Jeongyeon seem to have talked beforehand because Nayeon is suddenly watching an exchange of laughter and hugs between the two (that kind of stirs bile inside her). They get wrapped up in their own world, talking in hushed whispers—or is it just Nayeon having bad hearing?—and the idol _definitely_ feels the bile now.

“Chaeng”, she calls out without even realizing how it came out as a hissed whisper. The youngest in the room leans in closer, just enough to hear Nayeon to whisper coherently, “Are they the…?”

Chaeyoung’s eyes widen. She recalls accidentally revealing a deep secret to her idol in a Kakao, a message she tried so hard to delete but never met success with because Nayeon already saw and was already spamming her with profanities and shocked emojis.

“They didn’t date, unnie.” It’s an attempt to extinguish whatever spark of fire is trying to build up inside Nayeon. “It was just a blind date that didn’t work out.”

Because it’s from Chaeyoung, the adorable little one she so coddles, Nayeon relents.

“Yes, I know that.” She sighs and just watches as Jeongyeon and Mina continue chattering. “I just wanted to clarify things out.”

(But somehow, there’s still a tiny spark of fire inside of Nayeon)

Fortunately, the two women end their conversation the same time Momo enters the room with a wide smile of her own, alternating between her girlfriend and Nayeon. “Oh, Minari! Have you met Nayeon unnie already?”

Momo makes her way over to her girlfriend, casually pecking a soft kiss on her cheek.

Nayeon subtly watches in her place, a smile to cover for her thoughts. When she sees the way Mina nods, smiles wider—if that was even possible—and glows a brighter shade of blissful aura at the sight of her girlfriend, the taste of bile fades away and relief surges inside of her.

_Okay. There’s no need for me to be worried._

“I thought you guys were already prepared?” Jeongyeon’s voice adds more calm to that relief. “When I came in, it looked like a typhoon raided the place.”

Chaeyoung sulks. “Yeah, well, that typhoon’s name is Kim Dahyun…”

The confused and concerned scowls on Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s faces are enough to warrant an answer from Mina, the lone spectator and witness to the foundation of said typhoon.

“Satang called earlier…”

Nayeon tilts her head. “Satang?”

“Sana unnie. It’s what we call her.” Chaeyoung explains.

Nayeon nods and Mina continues, “Dahyun’s in a sulky mood because Satang won’t be able to join us for now.”

That elicits a loud, “What?” from Jeongyeon. “Why won’t she be able to come?”

Momo joins in. “She said something about a deadline her Editor wants her to meet and her leave not being granted.”

“Aish! That editor…” Jeongyeon growls, narrowing her eyes venomously at the thought of Sana’s Editor. “How’s Dubu doing now?”

Chaeyoung sighs exasperatedly. “She’s looking for her beret and decided to flip the whole house upside down for it. We think it’s just her excuse to cope for the dejection.”

Dahyun had always been their energy charger but even the charger herself needed somewhere to get her own adrenaline from. That somewhere is a _someone_ named Minatozaki Sana, her lovely girlfriend who won’t be joining for their camp-out this time.

Nayeon empathizes with the blonde one. If Jeongyeon wouldn’t be able to come to the camp-out, she too would have snapped.

“A bummer though. Satang’s missing out on Mina unnie’s two Rovers for this camp-out”, Chaeyoung tries to brighten up the gloomy atmosphere. She turns to the dumbfounded idol and contextualizes, “During our last camping trip, I brought everyone to a two-hour hike up a mountain to camp. Safe to say, Satang was _dying_ for a car to ride on. Her feet were throbbing by the time we arrived.”

The room laughs at the memory and throws in their fair share of comments (“That reminds me, you’ll _never_ be put to venue preparations ever again…” Mina playfully reprimands to which the adorable human cub whines at)

An alarm rings though, breaking their laughter. It’s Jeongyeon’s watch signaling that it is already 5AM. “We should all have that meeting already.” She turns to Chaeyoung, “Can you call Dubu and bring her here, Chaeng?”

The youngest nods and leaves the kitchen to look for the sulky blonde.

Nayeon sits in the so-called meeting, carefully listening and feeling the excitement inside of her. Counting out the time she got lost in the woods during a CF shooting, this is the first time she’s going to be out and about with nature again. It’s a _thousand times_ more exciting now that she has these women to join her.

(Especially Jeongyeon. A _million times_ more exciting now that she has Jeongyeon with her)

Jeongyeon leads the meeting, asking updates from Mina who was in-charge of the transportation;

(Nayeon loses her shit when she finds out the two Range Rovers prepared for this camp-out.

“Did she buy it just for this trip?” She whisper-hisses to Momo who is sitting beside her, playing with her nails.

To Nayeon’s utter amazement because _what the hell, this woman is rich_ , Momo fucking shrugs her shoulders absentmindedly.

“I think so?”)

And then from Momo who is in-charge of the venue. (Jeongyeon massages her temples in constant worry. Momo refuses to answer her question directly and instead, cheekily winks with an “It’s a surprise!” and Mina simply apologizes for her girlfriend because she, too, won’t be telling anything.

At the corner of the table, Nayeon mouths to her ex, “Whipped”

And Jeongyeon laughs back.)

Chaeyoung arrives with a sulky Dahyun just before the group splits into two for the cars.

Nayeon silently gestures for the blonde to sit beside her for her to coddle the younger one with hugs.

“Okay, now that everyone’s here, let’s split into two groups for the convoy.” Jeongyeon leads. “Momo’s getting in the first car though. And we need one reliable person to supervise her.”

At the statement of direction, Momo gasps dramatically. “Eh?! I’m not a kid anymore! I’m an adult who--…”

“It’s okay, Momoring.” Of course, it’s her girlfriend who shuts her up with a chaste kiss on the lips. “I’ll ride the same car.”

Their sappiness is abruptly cut off by Chaeyoung’s fake vomiting and announcement. “That means we only need two more to third and fourthwheel!”

The room laughs at that before settling down to play an unusual game of Momo’s idea, one she guarantees will “split the group into two” effortlessly with the “winners” going to the first Rover.

In one breathing, Momo goes, “Bottomsletmehearyousaywhat!”

Nayeon blinks.

“What?”

Dahyun leans closer to Chaeyoung, mimicking the same frown. “What did she say?”

The silence is bombarded with hysterical laughter, Jeongyeon clenching her stomach with tears brimming her eyes, “Okay! Nayeon and Dahyun go to the first car!” She high-fives Chaeyoung triumphantly, “Us four get the second one!”

Nayeon and Dahyun fail to grasp the situation, a scowl of confusion following the movements of the two glorious women while Mina and Momo laugh in one corner.

“What just happened?” The idol probes because _what the fuck was that?_

Mina chuckles (gracefully), “Momo divided the group into two.”

“How?” Dahyun joins in.

Jeongyeon, in between her ungodly wheezes, explains, “She just said ‘Bottoms say what’ and you two said what and…HAHAHA!”

“WHAT?” Nayeon jerks to a stand at the offensive statement. “Excuse me!? I am _not_ a bottom.”

“But you said ‘what’”, Jeongyeon cheekily narrows her eyes at the older woman.

“Yes because I couldn’t understand what she said.” Nayeon won’t back out on this one. She is _definitely_ not a bottom.

“That’s the essence of the game, unnie”, Chaeyoung explains a little nicer and coherent this time. “It’s an easier and faster method of splitting the group into two.”

“By asking who’s the top and the bottom?” Dahyun frowns.

The two triumphant women just laugh it out to Dahyun and Nayeon’s downfall.

“We’re settled then!” Jeongyeon claps her hands together. “Nayeon, Dubu, Minari, and Momoring in the first Rover; Me, Chaeng, Jihyo, and Tzuyu in the second.”

“Jihyo?” Nayeon stops. “Jihyo’s coming?”

“Ah, yes, I forgot to tell you. Jihyo’s coming. She always comes to the camp-outs. She also brought some of your things.” Jeongyeon begins checking her phone. “We’ll pick her up at her hotel as well as Tzuyu.” 

Nayeon feels like heaven has finally heard prayers. _Thank God someone is finally coming to save me._

With the groups decided, they fix up the kitchen and the typhoon-hit receiving area, and soon begin loading the bags into the respective cars.

They make final inspections and reminders (“We’ll stop by at Jihyo’s hotel and at the airport for Tzuyu, okay?”) before getting inside the separate Rovers.

***

The prospect of not getting to spend 3-4 hours (according to Momo) with Jeongyeon upsets Nayeon to the depths of her soul, beyond explanation. It only gets worse when she seats back, behind Momo who is on the passenger’s, navigating Mina’s driving, getting a VIP experience at how the couple coddles and shows the world of their love.

Well, that’s exaggerating a little bit…

It’s actually a one-sided affair. Momo coddles and begs for attention while Mina focuses on the road, ignoring her girlfriend’s wishes.

Dahyun, in her sad attempt at being intimidating, scolds Momo by telling her she’s to blame if Mina ever gets distracted from the road. That shuts up the dancer.

For a few minutes, and then she goes back to demanding for Mina’s attention.

“They’re not like this, you know.” The blonde’s words snap Nayeon out from her phone. The idol has been going through her emails for any updates from her management (though answering said emails isn’t an option in her head), reading hundreds of junk mail from magazine editors and managers asking for her whereabouts.

“Hmm?” Nayeon removes her left earphone. “What did you say, Dubu?”

Dahyun shifts in her seat to move closer to the older woman. “Momo and Mina unnie, they’re not usually this affectionate in public. They’re more of a silent couple. It’s only an exemption for now because it’s been a while since they last saw each other. Minari’s been gone for months.”

Nayeon takes a glance at the driver’s seat, at said woman whose focus is on navigating through the roads of a dim city. “Where did she go?”

“Oh, nothing serious”, Dahyun waves it off. “She just had to train in Russia for a ballet recital.”

“How long was she gone for?”

Dahyun purses her lips and thinks. “About eight months?”

Nayeon’s mouth unknowingly drops. _That explains Momo’s clinginess._

Eight months is a long time and to spend such an extensive amount of period without the love of your life is excruciating. Nayeon understands. She’s been in the same situation, having to live through months without seeing the love of your life. The only difference between Mina and her is the aftermath.

Mina ended up with a stronger relationship.

Nayeon ended up with loser hers.

***

To not waste any more time (they already left Momo’s place later than their expected time of departure) Jeongyeon decides it’ll be better for the two cars to go separate ways.

Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung will pick up Jihyo from her hotel as well as Tzuyu from the airport, while Mina, Momo, Dahyun, and Nayeon will head to the nearest 24/7 restaurant to order breakfast for the group.

That’s what they do. It’s already starting to feel like an exciting road trip.

***

The nearest and only open restaurant along the way is an old two-story house converted into a shop selling dumplings and all kinds of ramen. There’s a worn-down cardboard standee of what looks like an old Japanese cartoon character welcoming its customers and pointing to the old sliding doors.

Mina parks the rover by small the space at the side of of the entrance door, barely illuminated by the dim light due to the morning’s fog.

Going incognito is not a problem for Nayeon to bother herself with early at this hour. The city looks desolate (perhaps due to the fact that the sun’s barely risen and it’s still a little over six) and the restaurant looks like it would barely care if a Korean idol graces it with her presence.

So they’re good to go.

Dahyun goes out first to inquire and check the menu of the shop. The three wait inside the car.

It wouldn’t have been that awkward inside the vehicle if it weren’t for Momo falling asleep, leaving Mina and Nayeon conscious together. The ballerina might not have any problem with the silence but the idol is _dying_ to break it. Unlike the quiet and calm woman, Nayeon is squirming inside.

It’ll only take a few seconds before she erupts.

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

“Mina-ssi…?”

_Boom!_

Mina looks over her shoulders to glance at the idol by the backseat. She hums to acknowledge Nayeon, afraid to waken up her sleeping girlfriend, whose head heavily rests on her shoulder, with her whispering.

This is a topic Nayeon knows she doesn’t have the right to ask or talk about, but she just wants to know. “Chaeyoung told me about you and Jeongyeon…”

Frankly, Nayeon expected some kind of reaction from the ballerina. A flinch? A jolt? Anything would have sufficed, but she saw nothing.

“Ah…yes”, there’s a small chuckle escaping Mina’s lips though. She glances at Nayeon again for a split second before drawing her attention to the front. “I hope that doesn’t get in between whatever relationship we have, Nayeon-ssi. It was just one blind date that didn’t even work out.”

Nayeon’s about to say something, _anything_ to reassure Mina she didn’t mean it _that_ way, but her throat feels parched all of a sudden and no words leave her mouth.

She’s just too overwhelmed by how graceful Mina’s handling the situation; if this were her, she would’ve been at least flustered. This woman though, remains calm and poised even when thrown a question about being an _almost_ - _something_ to her current girlfriend’s best friend.

_Momo must have been an amazing person in her past life to be blessed with a Mina Myoui._

“I don’t regret it though.” Mina glances again, this time a small smile tugging the corners of her lips. “The blind date, I mean.”

“Why is that?” Nayeon _eventually_ gets her voice (and her shit) together again.

“Well, because I gained Jeongyeon’s friendship and she also introduced me to someone special.”

It doesn’t take a genius to know who Mina is referring to. Nayeon can see through the reflection of the passenger’s seat window the way the younger woman searches for Momo’s hand and intertwines it with hers.

_Jeongyeon introduced Mina to Momo…_

“I don’t mean to imply anything to you, Mina-ssi.” Nayeon sees Dahyun’s figure rounding the corner, a big smile plastered on her face. “I just really wanted to know. Besides, you and Momo look very much in love as it is.”

That elicits a faint chuckle from Mina as she tries to wake her girlfriend up with soft whispers and secret chaste kisses.

Nayeon decides to leave it at that. She can’t risk testing the magnitude of discomfort her blunt self can put her to; it might ruin her ongoing mission to win the hearts and approvals of Jeongyeon’s best friends, so she shuts up and instead, readies herself for breakfast.

***

Inside the empty shop, Dahyun prepares a table for eight—dragging two tables for four together—while Momo naps on one of the other tables, head resting on the crook of her arms, with Mina patiently seated by her side.

Nayeon carries and arranges the chairs as soon as the two tables are joined together. Once done with that, Mina wakes Momo up affectionately and helps the staggering and sleepy navigator over to their place, taking a seat on the first two chairs beside each other.

Dahyun skips to the condiments and dispenser area, grabbing ahold of utensils and chopsticks. That leaves Nayeon with the couple, enjoying her view of Momo’s clinginess while Mina tries her best to order for everyone.

“—No, water will do. Oh, and please make the Takayama ramen ten orders.” The ballerina closes the menu and hands it over to the middle-aged man taking the order with a pen and the back of a receipt.

Once the man is gone, Nayeon knits her brows in confusion of what she just heard. “Ten orders of ramen? Isn’t that a little too much for us all?”

She can’t belly the thought of eating ramen at six in the morning. Ever since her stay with Jeongyeon, the only thing constant in Nayeon’s days is ramen and a _lot_ of it. It’s not that she’s complaining it’s just that too much can be unhealthy…

“For us?” Mina though, sports the same puckered brow. “Oh no, the ramen aren’t for us…unless you want one too? I can order you--…”

“Wait, what?” Nayeon tilts her head to the side. _Ten orders of ramen and I’m no event getting one?_ “Who’ll eat the ten orders?”

Mina smiles. “Two for Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Chaeng, Dubu, and this one.” She softly pats Momo’s head. “It’s a normal thing for them to eat like a bunch of pregnant women.” That elicits a chuckle from the idol. “I ordered you ox bone soup, if you don’t mind? I just thought that eating ramen for breakfast won’t be good for your body. Jeongyeon mentioned you were an idol?”

At the mention of her profession, Nayeon feels a slight blush creep to her cheeks. “Yeah…”

“That’s amazing! I was a CNBLUE fan when I was a kid. I even thought of becoming an idol myself but decided a little later on that path wasn’t for me.”

Nayeon feels like her entire self-esteem has evaporated into thin air. How can this woman think of herself so low when she looks like a Princess gracing its servants? When Nayeon feels like garbage next to her?

“What? You look amazing, Mina! If you became an idol, I would have backed out because I wouldn’t stand a chance against you.”

The ballerina hides a blush, smiling as she casts her head down to look away. “You look beautiful yourself, Nayeon-ssi—”

“Unnie.” Nayeon corrects with a soft smile. “You can call me unnie. I think we don’t suit formalities now that we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on…”

Mina looks at her with gleaming eyes and a small smile. She nods. “I will, unnie.”

Nayeon feels her whole heart combust and flutter and do somersaults. She mentally high-fives herself.

_Mina, done!_

Now all she has to win over are Dahyun and Chaeyoung’s girlfriends. Unfortunately, she won’t be meeting Minatozaki Sana soon, so she prepares herself for Chaeyoung’s girlfriend instead.

_Chou Tzuyu? Maybe she’s like one of those models for big brands but has a cute face that’ll melt your heart off. She’s probably the same height as Chaeyoung? The same age as well. That little kid has the heart and determination of a Disney princess, her girlfriend must be the same?_

What could possibly go wrong, right?

(Everything could go wrong in the blink of an eye.)

***

In the middle of Dahyun showing off the new dance she learned, one of those Produce show dances, Nayeon remembers, the doors slide open, revealing Jeongyeon and Jihyo sighing in relief for the warmth the shop provided. Apparently, the temperature’s already dropping outside.

Nayeon stands up and immediately scurries to engulf her best friend-slash-de facto manager in an excruciating hug. “Jihyoooo!”

Jihyo giggles when the familiar scent of Jo Malone perfume greets her nostrils. “Hello to you too, Im.”

They set the line first, just before Nayeon pulls away and _almost_ begins telling Jihyo of her stay at Jeongyeon’s. “I’m not going to be your babysitter here, okay?” Jihyo pats her best friend’s back. “I’m Jihyo, the best friend and not the supervisor.”

Nayeon leaves a distance between her frame and Jihyo’s, arms still wrapped around the latter’s shoulders. She whines with a sickeningly adorable pout. “Whaaat?”

Jihyo rolls her eyes and removes the arms around her. “Yes, no babysitting here.” She moves past Nayeon to greet their other friends. “But I did bring some of your stuff.”

A chuckle escapes Nayeon’s lips. No matter how Jihyo tries not to sound all mother-like, she will always be mother-like.

The idol finds her seat between Jeongyeon. She looks over the table; Mina and Momo are talking something about the menu, Dahyun is trying to fit herself in the couple’s world, Jihyo is talking to Jeongyeon about their camping trip; and there are two vacant seats across Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

“Oh, by the way, where’s Chaeng?” Dahyun thankfully brings up the question. It must have been strenuous trying to garner Momo or Mina’s attention when the both of them are too wrapped up in their own little world.

Jeongyeon looks over her shoulders, pursing her lips towards the direction of the door. “At the car, helping Tzuyu with her bags.”

At the mention of the name, Dahyun’s face brightens up. It’s a surprise how fast her mood has changed ever since earlier at the mansion. She turns to Nayeon who’s caught up in a whispered conversation with Jihyo. “Unnie! I can’t wait for you to meet Tzuyu! She’s amazing!”

“I can’t believe you haven’t met her though”, Jeongyeon adds with a bewildered frown. “That girl has appeared in lots of commercials and magazine covers. Are you sure you haven’t heard of her name yet?”

Nayeon racks her mind for a _Chou Tzuyu_ but she finds nothing. The industry is spread-out and it’s not like Nayeon’s been an idol for so long. She’s only been in the business for six years. She has a lot of big names memorized in her mind—for professional purposes—but _Chou Tzuyu_ just doesn’t ring a bell.

“Maybe I can recognize her through her face?” Nayeon shrugs. “I’m not really familiar with international names. I’m sorry.”

Dahyun’s eyes dagger to the doors behind Nayeon. “There’s no need to, unnie. They’re here!” The blonde jerks to a stand and begins waving her hands as if the shop was filled with customers and they weren’t sitting on the longest table. “Chaeyoung-ah! Tzuyu!”

Nayeon turns around with a smile of her own.

_Oh wow._

Chou Tzuyu is _definitely_ a supermodel.

_What is it with Jeongyeon’s friends having beautiful and successful girlfriends?_

Chou Tzuyu is at least a few more centimeters taller than Nayeon, clad in jeans and a zipped-up denim faux fur parka, beautiful wavy brown hair cascading down broad shoulders, walking to their table like it was a damn Victoria’s Secret runway.

Dahyun dashes over to hug the statuesque girl. “Chewie-ya!” She pulls away and basically drags the overwhelmed model to Nayeon’s side. “This is Nayeon unnie, Jeongyeon unnie’s girl… _friend_.”

Nayeon stands up from her seat to bow curtly at the younger girl. “Hello, Tzuyu. I’m Nayeon.”

It’s to her utter confusion though how this Tzuyu girl doesn’t return the bow. Instead, she hovers over Nayeon’s slightly smaller frame and eyes the idol up and down with her own knitted brows.

“Nayeon as in, Im Nayeon from Byeol?”

The tone the younger woman uses isn’t as welcoming as Nayeon expected her to be. The words itself raise a lot of speculation and Nayeon, frankly, doesn’t feel good. _She knows me?_

Jeongyeon must have been wondering the same thing because she voices it out loud, “I thought you didn’t know her?”

“I didn’t but apparently she does…” Nayeon turns to the taller woman who is still eyeing her. “I’m sorry, have we met before?”

Chaeyoung stands behind her girlfriend as if ready to hold her back just in case. “Chewie, you know Nayeon unnie?”

Tzuyu’s glance dart from Nayeon to the two women behind the idol—Jeongyeon and Jihyo. Jeongyeon looks as disordered as the woman before while Jihyo...she has always been so quick at piecing out the puzzle.

She makes a look, something in between horrified and surprised. Jihyo mouths something only Tzuyu can comprehend.

Tzuyu understands. She turns towards Nayeon again and then puts on her best face.

“No…I just heard you from a friend, _unnie_ …?”

Nayeon wants to trust her and play oblivious, but she knows what acting looks like and this is _Oscar-worthy_. Nobody told her Chaeyoung’s girlfriend was also a superb actress.

Eventually, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung take their seats across Jeongyeon and Nayeon. The food arrives and everyone digs in. Momo gives _subtle_ clues about their camping destination while everyone probes Mina to tell all about her overseas training. Jeongyeon’s laughing and goofing around with her best friends and that’s enough for Nayeon.

 _For now_. Tthe idol can’t help but squirm at the tall girl boring holes into her skull with her stares. Underneath the table, she pokes Jihyo.

The younger woman must have completely understood everything because Jihyo looks down on her plate and hides her face from Tzuyu’s view, whispers sending Nayeon into a panicky mode.

“I think Tzuyu knows something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope whoever reads this gets a lovely day ahead of her/him! or, everyone in general! HAVE LOVELY DAYS AHEAD! and if you haven't had a glimpse of any of that loveliness, someday you'll do! 
> 
> enjoyyyy!


	6. The Orbit of Nayeon's World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayeon closes her eyes and stops, wishing—praying—to any Deity above to just let her have this this one time. She hasn’t wished for so much in her life, so can they be generous for once and give her this?

Nayeon thinks this is a bad idea. She may not be a woman filled with good ideas, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that “being subtle” at sneaking out of the group discussion isn’t pretending to go the restroom as a pair.

First of all, there’s only one toilet room. Second, the stupid “it’s a woman thing” excuse is useless because all of them at the same table are of the same sex, and Jeongyeon knows Nayeon’s cycle because she used to be the one to buy sanitary pads for the older woman when their stock ran out.

So this is all stupid and implausible.

But somehow, by whatever odds and dogmas, if you’re god Jihyo, it’s suddenly believable.

So here they are, Nayeon and Jihyo cramped up inside the restaurant’s small toilet room, whisper-hissing at each other.

“Are you sure you don’t know her?” Jihyo stands by the door, leaning her whole rear side on it for the sake of at least a few feet’s worth of distance.

Nayeon stands by the other corner of the room, beside the toilet itself that reeks of artificial lemon scent fighting a combination with alcohol stench. “For the hundredth time, yes, I don’t know Chou Tzuyu. My face is plastered on every tabloid magazine and entertainment show in Korea, Jihyo. I’m surprised that none of the younger ones knew about my issue beforehand.”

If they were in a more spacious room right now, Jihyo would have been pacing back and forth, thinking of a possible solution. That was her usual coping mechanism when faced with a direct problem.

“But are you sure she knows _that_ issue? Maybe she just--…”

But the younger girl’s hopefulness wavers into the lemon and booze odor of the room like oxygen vaporizing, Nayeon unable to listen and understand because she’s too busy racking her mind for _something—anything—_ that happened during the months she was at the pinnacle of Korean media sensation.

_There’s that one time I had to be on a lockdown, that one they made me do a press conference, that one time I barged into the CEO’s—_

_Wait._

Nayeon freezes. “Jihyo…”

“What?” Jihyo’s rambling is cut short. “Do you remember her?”

_This can’t be…_

“I…Tzuyu…she’s one of the…” Nayeon can’t even form her head around the idea. “She was there when I made a scene at the CEO’s office.”

Jihyo frowns first, confused as she rummages through her memory for all the moments Nayeon has disrespectfully charged to her CEO’s office. There are a _lot_ of moments Nayeon crossed the boundary between the CEO and Talent affairs. “What time was that?”

“That time I was on a lockdown and--…”

Jihyo now remembers. “She was there?! How?!”

*******

**_Earlier that Year_ **

_Im Nayeon likes to think she’s demonstrating the patience of a disciple._

_When they told her she was in a lockdown, she willingly obliged. When they took control of all her social media accounts, she gave it away easily. When they told her not to contact any family or friends for the meantime, she followed._

_But this? This is just too much. This is basically an exploitation of human rights._

_“They cut my credit card, Jihyo!” Nayeon snaps on the phone, garnering the attention of the passing by employees in the hallway._

_The idol doesn’t care anymore whether she’s breaking a rule or not, if she’s tarnishing her image by completely causing a scene with her loud voice in the middle of the company hallway._

_When the saleslady at Olive Young’s voided her face masks and eyeshadow because Nayeon’s credit card was apparently cut, Byeol Entertainment declared war. Nayeon is not taking any of this shit anymore._

_She makes sure her presence is felt as she stomps her Alexander McQueen stilettos on the carpeted hallway, eyes daggered to a focus towards the direction of the CEO’s office._

_“Nayeon, I understand you’re mad right now--…”_

_“No, Jihyo! I’m pissed!” Nayeon is fuming._

_Jihyo lets out a sigh from the other line. She’s already running to her car, unconcerned for the odd whispers and looks she’s getting from her juniors walking around the lobby. All Jihyo needs is for Nayeon to shut up and not do anything stupid. That’s all._

_“Am I asking for too much?” She’s out of breath from all the sprinting by the time she hops into her BMW. “Just clear your mind first, Nayeon. Calm down. I don’t want you doing anything stup--…”_

_“I can’t calm down, Jihyo!”_

_Most of the conversation consists of Jihyo begging and Nayeon shouting. Still, the aforementioned doesn’t put some distance between her phone and her now damaged ear. “But please, Nayeon. Don’t do anything--…”_

_But to Jihyo’s utter horror, the line dies. She’s left to deal with a long beeping sound playing in the background._

_“Nayeon? Nayeon!?” Jihyo calls out for the idol’s name a few more times before giving up. She doesn’t even rev up her engine anymore. The moment the car roars to life, she drives to its maximum speed, praying Nayeon doesn’t make herself regret any more._

_In the other side of the city, Secretary Geum, the CEO’s fresh and newly-appointed office assistant after divorcing his last one, greets Nayeon all too smiley, it only annoys the idol even more._

_“Ms. Im! What can I--…” but before she can even continue with her high-pitched and too ecstatic greeting, Nayeon moves past her and marches through the CEO’s receiving area. He has half of the whole floor to himself. His actual office is by the end._

_The CEO must have some nerve to hire a young one because this new secretary of his has the audacity to run after Nayeon and stop her, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her back._

_“Let go, kid”, Nayeon warns, gritting her teeth in utter rage. Her eyes shoot lasers to the new secretary._

_“I…I c-can’t, Ms. Im.” She bows her head down to avoid the piercing glares from the idol who soon pulls her arm away from her hold. “Sajangnim has visitors inside with him. If you can, please just wait outside until his--…”_

_“Visitors? From where?”_

_The secretary looks hesitant, but Nayeon’s daggering eyes are too powerful for her to dodge. “Uh, they…they’re the new models that will…will sign contracts with the…c-company…”_

_“You mean those foreigner kids?”_

_Nayeon heard of the company signing up with models from around the world to offer them a career in Korea and to globalize their fame. Nayeon thinks it’s a pile of shit._

_The secretary nods hesitantly. It’s a big mistake when she does so because that only fuels Nayeon’s rage more. Nobody gets to stop her anymore from dashing to the CEO’s office and barging in._

_The annoying bald man is seated on his lowly throne, an upholstered mini-sofa in the middle of his smaller receiving area. There are four girls seated before him. Nayeon doesn’t know any of them but judging from the way they look, they’re at least in their early twenties._

_Nayeon doesn’t care about that though._

_“Ya!” And she also doesn’t care about formalities when in the face of the annoying and conceited middle-aged man. She marches her way over to the CEO and stands in front of him, towering over his midget frame. “What did you do to my card!?”_

_The CEO looks flustered, throwing an uneasy smile at his new visitors behind Nayeon. “Uh…girls, can we have some time please?”_

_But Nayeon knows what this man is just going to do. It’s been six years, after all. She basically runs this company by the profit they earn from all the work they make her do. “No. Stay here.”_

_She battles it out with the middle-aged man before her. “I want you all to see what you girls are getting yourselves into.”_

_The only reason why Nayeon’s been holding on to the agency for so long despite their poor managing and awful scheduling is because of the company’s former CEO, a wonderful woman who helped shape Nayeon to who she is now._

_If it weren’t for that woman, she would have left Byeol ages ago._

_“I am done with your lockdown system! I did nothing to get punished like this! I performed. I danced the choreography you had made. Aren’t those part of my job?” Nayeon feels like erupting. Everything’s just going downhill and she can’t get a grip of her own career anymore. “I had it with this company! I’m not doing this anymore!”_

_Her outburst garners hushed whispers from the four models behind her and a mischievous and ugly smile from the middle-aged man in front of her._

_“Are you done, Nayeon-ssi?” His tone is calm but menacing, the same one he always used when Nayeon was young and naïve, breaking company rules early in her career and testing everyone’s patience. It’s also the same tone a condescending parent would use on their reckless child._

_Nayeon hated that tone. “With this company, yes.”_

_“And with your career?”_

_That shuts her up._

_The CEO stands up to level Nayeon’s height. “Will you also be willing to be ‘done’ with your career, Nayeon-ssi?”_

_***_

That meeting ended up in a disaster, with Nayeon’s already-shallow ego even more evaporating into thin air. She walked out of the CEO’s office with a defeated sigh, leaving the unexpected company even more in discomfort.

They just earned themselves VIP seats into one of Nayeon’s never-ending drama acts with her CEO.

“She just watched me make a fool of myself…” Nayeon exasperatedly sighs, massaging her temples. “Chou Tzuyu knows something if she’s one of the new models who signed up with the company.” Knowing how fast gossip spreads within the company walls, it’s not entirely impossible to happen despite confidentiality bonds.

Jihyo groans, frustrated herself. This trip was supposed to be a calming one. Guess she has to play manager again.

“Let’s just go. We’re taking too long in here. Jeongyeon might think I’m stealing you.”

Inadvertently, Nayeon feels a blush and a tiny smile tug her lips. The thought of having Jihyo by her side sends her to a marginally complacent position. She can’t ruin this trip for Jeongyeon so if she has to pretend and play blissfully ignorant again, then be it.

_All for Jeongyeon._

***

Breakfast was filled with introductions and laughter-filled stories.

Nayeon feels more welcomed into the group and Jeongyeon must’ve felt the same because she willingly cooperated and conversed when Momo asked about how she and Nayeon met, and how Jihyo joined in their duo.

(“We all went to the same university together. Nayeon was already a trainee when I met her, but she and Jeongyeon were already dating long before that.” Jihyo so casually tells. Nayeon feels like squirming in her seat because _did she have to tell the last part?_

Jeongyeon seems to care the least though. When asked how long had she been dating Nayeon, the woman right beside her, whom she vowed to keep everything “professional” with, she coolly replies back, “Late freshman year up to a few months before I graduated.”

Everyone seems to be fascinated by that, to Nayeon’s utter awkwardness. She makes a mental note to bring this up to the younger girl later when they’re alone.)

The whole morning meal would have gone completely normal had it not been for the once-in-a-while glares Nayeon’s been getting from the girl seated across her.

If Chou Tzuyu had powers, it would be putting someone in awkward situations.

Thankfully, Jihyo always understood the complexity of the adult mind hence, her one-time-only deal with Nayeon.

“This is for the sake of this camping trip’s peace”, she whisper-hisses as they walk their way to the second rover. (Somehow, she also managed to negotiate the car arrangements with Jeongyeon. Now, Nayeon gets to join her ex’s car and sit passenger, Jihyo and Dahyun at the back)

“I’ll handle things with Tzuyu, okay? You just do what you have to do with Jeongyeon.”

Nayeon sometimes wonders how lucky she is to have Jihyo. The woman gets everything done even when it seems too possible to finish. She’s just perfect, in-sync with the title they playfully gave her: God-Jihyo.

***

Jeongyeon’s driving skills were no joke. She was often the designated driver in the group whenever there were parties that involved alcohol. Driving was always one of her favorite things to do but often couldn’t exercise it because first and foremost, she did not own a car to drive with.

Now that she gets to drive a Range Rover, Jeongyeon wants to put her driving skills to a test. The Rover she’s maneuvering is an Off-Road, so she would love to test that, however, her current situation does not permit her to. She won’t test the car’s benefits for now.

Not when Nayeon is sleeping beside her and driving on the smallest pebble on the round could potentially wake her up.

This is not Jeongyeon’s affection for the woman speaking. This is a case of respect. Who would want their sleep interrupted, right?

Right.

So this is Jeongyeon now, driving gentler and safer than how she drove when Chaeyoung was on the same seat, making sure no pebble or bump can wake up the woman sleeping right beside her.

(The car in front must have noticed the leisureliness of her driving because she gets a call a few minutes later.

_Thank God my phone is on silent mode._

It’s Chaeyoung asking her why the fuck is she driving like a grandma. Then she hears Momo shout something at the back, about her grandmother driving faster.)

Jeongyeon doesn’t care. Her top priority right now is the safety of her passengers. Jihyo is asleep at the back, cradling Dahyun’s head on her lap like the mother that she is, the blonde younger woman also unconscious.

Everything is going good and great, and Jeongyeon frankly enjoys driving like a chauffeur here despite the slight pull of temptation once in a while whenever she catches a glimpse of her three passengers’ comfortable state of affairs.

***

After driving for another three hours, navigating through winding roads and traffic-free highways, they eventually arrive at their destination.

Jeongyeon wakes everyone up before they make a turn to where Mina’s Rover just entered, where the asphalt road ends, bringing into view a muddy and bumpy pathway made by other vehicle tracks. _So this is why Mina prepared two off-roads…_

“Are we there yet?” Nayeon begins groping for the overhead handle with one hand while her other hand is safely underneath her bum.

Jeongyeon takes a short glance at the rearview mirror. Jihyo and Dahyun are safely in their seatbelts. “I’m not sure but we’re close.”

She fixes herself on the wheel and the pedals, ready to maneuver through the bumpy trail like a darn professional. (Nayeon thinks this Jeongyeon is really hot.)

While Jeongyeon’s busy following Mina’s lead and the two women at the back are busy holding on for their dear lives, Nayeon fixes her attention to the beautiful scenery around them.

They’ve managed to escape the rural areas and cross the mountains up and down. Nayeon doesn’t have the slightest clue of their current location, but the lack of cellular signal and civilization give away their off-the-map destination.

It’s still a beautiful sight though. The climate in this side of the country—westernmost from what she heard—is a lot calmer than the harsh climate in Mitan. The trees here aren’t bare and the soil isn’t covered with thick layers of snowfall.

It looks like a perfect place to camp.

After what feels like another half an hour of jumping up and down the seats and hitting heads on the ceiling and windows of the car, they finally stop.

“Are we here?” Dahyun asks from the back.

It’s a flatter area compared to the bumpy trail they just passed through. There’s a spot where there are no trees and Nayeon assumes that’s the camping site.

Her question is answered when the doors of the Rover in front open, Momo, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Mina climbing out and stretching their limbs from all of the sitting. Momo begins waving her arms at the car behind them, gesturing for them to step out as well.

Everyone in Jeongyeon’s ride unbuckles their seatbelts and soon steps out. Momo greets them with a loud, confusingly-energetic, “Welcome to the wilderness!”

***

The original campsite is located across the other mountain, at least fifteen minutes’ worth of driving away from the group’s current location. The original venue for their trip was the public campsite for accessibility purposes—the campsite owner’s house was just around the place and they had a small café, souvenirs shop, convenience store, and clean comfort rooms—but since Nayeon was joining this time, Momo had to pay for the upgraded venue—the private camping grounds beside the lake.

From where Jeongyeon and Mina parked the cars and are currently unloading the bags, they have access to their own hiking trail, which leads them to the beautiful scenery that is Lake Motosu.

According to Momo’s rehearsed geography class (she did her research while navigating Mina, much to her girlfriend’s amused exasperation), Lake Motosu is one of Mt. Fuji’s five surrounding lakes. It’s the westernmost lake out of the five and, as Momo’s ending trivia, it’s also found on the 1000 yen banknote.

“You really did your research huh…” Dahyun scoffs, patting the older woman’s back proudly. They stand by the lakeside, watching the glory of the afternoon sun with their sunglasses. “Good job, unnie.”

Momo smiles back triumphantly. Nayeon enjoys the sight of Momo and Dahyun, and the beautiful and scenic Mt. Fuji across the lake.

“Is this your first time camping by the lake?”

Momo and Dahyun turn to the older woman. “By the lake, yes”, the blonde one of the two answers with a smile before turning back to the view of freshwater, admiring it. “But we’ve camped by beaches before so I don’t think this one’s going to be much of a problem.”

“To you guys, yes, but to me…” Nayeon sighs, shoulders slumping down. “I’m not so sure about that.” Her past interactions with the wilderness still haunting her worries.

The older woman feels arms wrapping around her still mountaineer-jacket-clad shoulders. She’s sandwiched between Momo and Dahyun, at the receiving end of affectionate smiles that make Nayeon’s chest warm up.

“Unnieeee…” Dahyun coos, nestling her face on the crook of Nayeon’s neck. They’ve developed this close bond already; it still feels surreal for someone as secretly-introverted as Im Nayeon.

The platonic intimacy makes Nayeon feel at home and at ease with these two and just everything.

Momo does the same and rests her head on Nayeon’s other shoulder. “You’ll do great in camping, unnie. Think of it as another role you have to play.”

“Yeah, and we’re the extras. You and Jeongyeon unnie are the main characters.” Dahyun even manages to tease with a playful jab on the idol’s arm.

Nayeon snorts at the idea. She didn’t mean to think her thoughts out loud, but at the prospect of Jeongyeon wanting to spend this trip with her, she only scoffs, “As if she’d want that…”

Momo pulls away from resting on Nayeon’s shoulder, voice a little too loud and ecstatic for both women’s hearing when she chirps, “Of course she would!”

“Did you know she was the one who asked Jihyo unnie to pack your things?” Dahyun smiles cheekily at the older woman, remembering the frustrated conversation of her two older best friends. “She had Jihyo unnie fly with excess charges and drag your things around in the airport. I don’t know how she convinced unnie but she did.”

Momo nods vigorously. “Jeongyeon doesn’t normally pack a lot for our camping trips but this time she did. She even had this long list.” She laughs.

“Ah! The list!” The blonde one chuckles. “She brought mosquito patches, insect repellants, heating mats…everything! Jeongyeon unnie always got mad at us when we called her the ‘mom friend’ but guess who’s living it up now…”

Nayeon’s whole world stopped at Dahyun’s words. _She did that?_

Jeongyeon’s been treating her differently these past few days, somehow Nayeon’s getting the idea that maybe— _just maybe—_ they might actually be ready for reconciliation.

“Unnie?”

Nayeon’s thoughts are broken. She turns to Dahyun who’s staring at the cloudy view of Mt. Fuji. Momo’s resting her head back on the idol’s shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“Do you know why we go camping?”

There’s a sentimental tone to the young one’s words. The faint smile on her lips makes Nayeon want to crush her in a big embrace. Although she has a few guesses, she doesn’t want to ruin the intimate moment between them so Nayeon simply shrugs her shoulders and lets Dahyun continue.

“We’re here to find ourselves.”

It’s refreshing to hear Dahyun, the energizer and the one who usually jokes around (Jeongyeon refers to their gang as “The Crackheads”) sound so serious and mawkish.

Nayeon feels Momo nod silently.

“We’re all substantially different people in our group, unnie. Born in different worlds.” Dahyun purses her lips. “You have me and Chaeng, a bunch of fresh grads who don’t know what to do with their lives. Jeongyeon unnie’s a cashier just trying to make ends meet. Momo unnie dances for income while managing an inn.” She chuckles when the words actually leave her lips, a realization somehow forming.

She glances at Nayeon. “And then we have Mina unnie who spends most of her days going back and forth Russia and here, trying to be the Prima ballerina that she is while tending to her family and personal life. There’s Tzuyu who’s making the world bow at her feet. And then Sana unnie…”

There’s an affectionate outbreath there. Nayeon knows Dahyun doesn’t need to explain anymore. So she doesn’t.

“We’re just trying to distinguish the kind of person reality made us to be and the kind of person we really want to be. And when we camp, we find ourselves again.”

Nayeon thinks, _that’s a nice thing to say, Dahyun-ah. That’s a nice thing to look for._

Momo smiles. “We all bond through these trips, unnie. That’s why, as much as possible, we make time for this. Mitang flies all the way from wherever she is just to attend our camp-outs. Tzuyu too. Satang as well. But if we really can’t, then we make up for what we missed.”

“I think this is why Jeongyeon unnie brought you along with us.” Dahyun wraps her other arm around Nayeon’s torso to fully embrace the idol. “I think she wants to help you find yourself too.”

Nayeon doesn’t understand but she tries to. It’s these kinds of sentimental words that make her head hurt from trying to comprehend, but if it’s from these two, then she doesn’t mind.

_I hope I find myself here then…_

They spend a few more minutes enjoying the scenic view before their moment is crushed by a loud, ear-piercing “UNNIE!” from the one and only Son Chaeyoung who’s rushing down the pebbled trail leading to the lakeside.

She’s out of breath by the time she reaches the three. Still, she manages to shout, with all the revulsion her tiny frame can hold, “YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!”

_Isn’t it supposed to be “we have a problem”?_

***

Thirty minutes ago, Yoo Jeongyeon’s main problem was unloading Nayeon’s bags from the car’s trunk. Jihyo brought the whole Louis Vuitton trunk set so they had that to deal with that.

Almost everyone laughed it off. This Nayeon’s her first time camping, right? Nearly the whole group laughed at Jeongyeon’s embarrassed face when she began unloading their bags. Compared to Mina and Tzuyu who have flown from their respective international affairs thousands of miles away and Nayeon who stayed in the same country let alone a town a few hours away, the latter brought more things.

This is also associated to Jeongyeon’s next main problem about fifteen minutes ago: Tzuyu’s apparent distaste of Nayeon.

(The staredown during breakfast wasn’t exactly subtle…)

Jeongyeon knows there’s no need for her to acquire the approval of the younger woman. Nonetheless, there’s still a part of her that _wants_ to obtain _everyone’s_ blessing. Although the current relationship between her and Nayeon—friends, that’s it. _Friends only_ —finds no importance in acquiring such consent, Jeongyeon just feels like she’s obligated to with her best friends.

In order to do that though, she has to find out first what probable reason does Tzuyu have to blatantly dislike Nayeon.

That is problem #2.

Jeongyeon’s current predicament surfaced five minutes ago. In Nayeon’s hefty, almost-20 kg Louis Vuitton luxury trunk set, Jihyo failed to remember (?) to pack a tent. She brought a mosquito net, lots of pillows, a cozy blanket, a hammock, an electric mosquito light, and a battery-powered mini-fan, and yet she forgot to bring a tent.

“You’re kidding, right?” Jeongyeon is not amused. Frankly, she’s hysterical. She looks around their camping grounds again and counts the number of tents they have managed to set up in the last ten minutes with three pairs of hands lacking.

_Momo and Mina’s, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s, Dahyun and Jihyo’s solo tents, and...mine._

“I’m really sorry, Jeong.” Jihyo stays put in her position, squatting by her now set up solo tent, putting her things in. “I must have forgotten it with all of the packing you made me do.”

Jeongyeon would have defended herself at that rebuttal but she has nothing. Jihyo has a point—as annoying as that point is—and this can easily be said as partially her accountability.

Still, everyone else in the group seems to be having fun with the current situation.

Mina is shamelessly chuckling in their tent while unpacking their bags and Chaeyoung is running down to the lakeside, flailing like a kid and giggling, ready to convey the upsetting news to Jeongyeon’s soon-to-be roommate for the next two days.

“You’re all having fun with this, huh?”

Jihyo hides away in her tent, futilely keeping her laughter back.

Mina takes a peek from their tent. “We’re not, unnie. We’re just…” she tries. Mina _always_ tries to be the supportive, solemn friend, but most of the time, she ends up failing and looking unsuccessfully amused and it’s even more annoying if not totally endearing considering her innocent disposition and intent.

Jeongyeon waves their excuses off. “You know what? Whatever.” She finishes unpacking her last bag in her spacious Coleman tent. “Jihyo-ya, pass me Nayeon’s stupid trunk set!”

***

It is, as a matter of fact, just Nayeon’s problem.

When Chaeyoung successfully drags her back to their campsite, everything’s pretty much set up already. There’s a foldable table by the tree where the cooking sets are placed, underneath it is a Coleman ice box where they keep the food. There are five tents set up around the bonfire area, three big ones and two solos.

Nayeon is still clueless as fuck though (and breathless from all the running; don’t forget the breathless part) “What’s the problem?”

Chaeyoung’s grinning at her widely, it’s beginning to look creepy if only she wasn’t so adorable and harmless. “You don’t notice anything?” She gestures around the whole campsite. “Anything in particular?”

Nayeon sighs. She was never good at guessing games. “Uh…” There’s not much to notice since Nayeon doesn’t have anything to compare this setting with, so she answers with what she sees slightly unusual first. “…the cars?”

The cars not parked the same. Mina’s Rover is parked perfectly, facing the other side, while Jeongyeon’s is haphazardly just there, parked slanted.

To the idol’s dismay (and slight amusement), Chaeyoung lets out a dramatic exasperated sigh akin to a cub’s actual squeal, “No, unnie! Ugh!” She runs her fingers through her locks and messes it up to convey even more of her frustration. “The tents! Look at the tents!”

“Sheesh, okay…” Nayeon turns to the tents. She regrets asking when it unknowingly slips her mouth, “What about the tents?”

Chaeyoung continues to amuse her idol by her growing frustrations. “They’re five, unnie! Count them!” She begins pointing to the tents and counting them on her own, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5!”

Nayeon doesn’t even try to hide her smile anymore. “Yes, they’re five. I can see that. What about it?”

“Unnie.” Chaeyoung deadpans. “Are you serious right now?”

“What?” Nayeon laughs, raising her arms in defeat. “Honestly! I don’t understand what you’re talking about here, Chae. I just--…”

“YOU’RE GOING TO SHARE A TENT WITH JEONGYEON UNNIE!”

And just in time, Jeongyeon emerges from one of the bigger tents, hauling one of Nayeon’s Louis Vuitton trunk sets. “What the fuck are you so loud for, Chaeng?” She huffs out a grunt and tries— _tries_ —to toss away the expensive luggage. “Why is this even so heavy—ow!”

The shockwave in Nayeon’s body is cut short at the sound of the yelp. It’s like an automatic reaction for her whenever she hears Jeongyeon in pain. She forgets everything she’s doing—in this case, moves past the whining human cub—and tends to the aid of the now sulky Jeongyeon cradling her arm.

“What happened?” She frantically asks the moment she reaches Jeongyeon’s side.

There’s an inch-long gash on the younger girl’s forearm where blood is slowly trickling down from. “It’s just a scratch.”

But Nayeon knows all too well how dismissive Jeongyeon gets when it comes to her health. She waves everything off so easily (one time, she even shrugged off an injured knee when a horse kicked her during a horseback-riding date years ago). Thankfully, Jihyo emerges with a first-aid kit and hands it over to Nayeon.

“How did you suddenly manage to injure yourself?” Nayeon pulls out a cotton swab and pours some Betadine on it.

It takes a while for Jeongyeon to answer. She’s taken aback by the close proximity of the older woman; she can even smell Nayeon’s perfume now. She’s only a few inches away, crouched down on one knee and focused on tending to the small gash. 

Other than the lack of distance between them, Jeongyeon also feels some constriction in her chest, at the sight of Nayeon tending to her small scratch as if it was a broken wrist in need of reconstructive surgery. It looks like this wound is such a big deal to the idol when it doesn’t even mean that much to Jeongyeon and it’s endearing because the last time someone treated her like she mattered so much was years ago, when she suffered a horseback-riding accident and earned herself a small bruise on the knee. That someone is the same person in front of her right now.

“Jeongyeon?”

The stated finally snaps out. “Huh? What?”

Nayeon finishes applying the Betadine. She grabs a Band-Aid from the kit. “Where did you scratch yourself?”

Jeongyeon wonders herself. _Where_ did _I get this?_ The wound miraculously appeared while she was futitely attempting to throw away Nayeon’s thousand-dollar Louis Vuitton trunk set.

They get their answer from another voice, this one distant and cold, blameful.

“Where else? Unnie got it from your unnecessary baggage.”

All heads turn to trajectory of the voice. Tzuyu continues with unloading hers and Chaeyoung’s things, moving back and forth from the car to their tent.

If someone else were to refute or accuse Nayeon, that someone would have been dismissed from whatever profession they’re in and would be the receiving end of the idol’s endless counterattacks.

That condition only exempted two people—now three—Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and the new recruit, Chou Tzuyu.

Although Park Jihyo stays true to her words and whisks the young one away, pulling her somewhere over to the table to help her arrange and prepare the ingredients for their late lunch, the damage has been done.

Nayeon already feels like she’s dragged back to reality.

“Nayeon, are you okay?” It isn’t hard to see through the older woman’s façade. “I’m sorry if Tzuyu isn’t as welcoming as my other friends.” It also isn’t hard to see through the building-up drama between her ex and her youngest friend.

“It’s alright. I don’t really--…”

“No, it’s not.” Jeongyeon pulls her arm away once Nayeon’s done putting the Band-Aid on it. She grabs Nayeon by the shoulder and makes the older woman face her properly. “Ever since this morning, you two have been at it with your obvious staredowns and innuendos.”

Nayeon would have been flustered by her unsubtlety if not for the fact that she’s a few inches away from Jeongyeon and she can feel her stomach doing somersaults and her knees wavering from the squatting.

“I…uh…”

Jeongyeon frowns. “Do you two know each other from before?”

The question echoes in Nayeon’s mind. She doesn’t have the answer for that because she doesn’t know herself. _Do I know Tzuyu from before?_

She wants to tell Jeongyeon she doesn’t and she got it the other way around. Tzuyu is the one who knows her from somewhere—wherever that somewhere is—and is mad at her for something.

_What do I tell her?_

“Nayeon…?”

_Ugh. I don’t want to lie and possibly hurt--…_

“Hey, Jeong!”

Jihyo saves the day for the third time.

“What?” Jeongyeon dismisses the question effortlessly and stands up, leaving Nayeon squatting by their tent. She walks over to the table where Jihyo and Tzuyu are and talk about something regarding their lunch. She returns back to Nayeon a short while later.

“What is it?” 

Jeongyeon pulls her up a little too harshly first before answering back, “Jihyo told us to get some kindling for the bonfire later.”

She doesn’t look happy about it though, but Nayeon thinks all the questioning is enough for now. She gets a little more time with Jeongyeon and she’s afraid to run out of topics to talk about with the younger woman.

***

Park Jihyo has a way of dealing with people. She caters to each individual in a manner she thinks they deserve. For example, in the field of business and her father’s lazy employees, she’s Manager Park, CEO Park’s daughter and the strict Public Relations Directress. At home, she’s the perfect daughter and sister. In front of her friends, she’s the motherly one, always ready to be the rock of her best friends when they need it.

But in the face of problems, Jihyo only has one way of dealing with it: confrontation.

That’s why she sent Jeongyeon and Nayeon off to pick up some kindling for their bonfire. So she can talk to Tzuyu about her not-so-subtle distaste over Nayeon.

“I don’t ‘hate’ her, unnie…” Tzuyu tries to articulate her opinions but that’s her biggest weakness. “I just…don’t like her for Jeongyeon unnie.”

Jihyo continues chopping the green onions for their teokbeokki. “What makes you think Nayeon’s here for Jeongyeon?”

“Why else would she suddenly pop out of nowhere and join our group?”

“Hmm…you have a point.” Jihyo nods. “But you have to understand, Chewie-ya, Nayeon doesn’t want to hurt Jeongyeon. And these are their personal lives. We can’t interfere with them.”

“Would it be interfering if I only want what’s best for Jeongyeon unnie?” Tzuyu turns to the older woman with her innocent yet stricken face.

Something inside Jihyo makes her feel devastated. It’s as if she’s betraying someone. Would she be betraying her best friends if she decided to take Nayeon’s side _this one time_?

“I don’t think we’re in the position to know what’s best for the both of them, Chewie-ya.”

Would Jihyo be a hypocrite if she said that she knows what’s best for them, that what she’s doing right now—subtly helping out Nayeon rekindle with Jeongyeon—is the best for them?

_Yes._

Tzuyu must have known the answer to Jihyo’s moral crisis because she does what Jihyo hopes her to do: nod quietly and walk away. If Jihyo was her, she would have done the same. No one would want to continue a conversation with such an abhorrent hypocrite.

***

Nayeon is fucking anxious.

The last time things were this awkward between her and Jeongyeon, she had impulsively decided to break things up between them before it got out of hand, in the middle of a small noraebang booth during an arcade date on one of their Friday-after-class affairs.

It shouldn’t be this awkward when they’re just picking up some kindling for the bonfire, right?

_Right._

“Hey, Jeong--…

“Nayeon, I--…”

_Wow, real smooth on the timing._ Nayeon thinks if this was a movie shooting, they would have aced this particular scene because of the perfect timing and the realness of the _talk-at-the-same-time-and-blush_ cliché romcom moment.

Nayeon giggles because that’s exactly what they do during this kind of moment _._ “You go first.”

Jeongyeon, thankfully, relents. “I wanted to talk to you about a few things.”

The smile on Nayeon’s lips fade away. She feels her stomach churn. Anything that starts with that is always bound to end up not well.

“Uh…” She’s hesitant. Nayeon’s not so sure if she wants to hear this. Whatever _this_ is. _Did I somehow manage to annoy her over the past few days aside from the fact that I signed her up for the auction without her consent?_

Nayeon thinks about it for a few more seconds before nodding reluctantly.

Jeongyeon seems to be hesitant herself, by this troubling information she suddenly wants to share. In the end, she takes a deep breath and just goes with it. _There’s no other perfect time than this._

“I wanted to apologize first.”

Before Nayeon gets to ask her _for what_ , Jeongyeon beats her to it. “For Tzuyu’s behavior…”

Nayeon groans and tries to wave the issue away again because really, it’s okay. She’s been treated worse in the industry and Tzuyu not liking her isn’t a new thing (especially since she knows _something),_ but she doesn’t get to say anything because, again, Jeongyeon is beating her to it.

“I also wanted to apologize for something else.”

“For what? “

Jeongyeon takes a while before she gets to answer in such an inaudible and self-conscious whisper, Nayeon asks her to tell it again.

“I…I’m sorry for the past few days.”

Nayeon frowns, obviously confused because _what do you mean you’re sorry for it? These past few days have been the best in my thirty years of existence—aside from the five years I’ve known and dated you._

Her expression elicits an explanation from the younger woman.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about things and I realized I wasn’t really fair when I asked you to take things professionally between us. I was treating you badly for a failed relationship I now only realized was half my doing as well.”

Nayeon freezes.

Is it Jeongyeon talking too fast, too incoherently, or is it Nayeon’s brain short-circuiting because of the sudden conversation matter? Whatever it is, the older woman only blinks. “What?”

Jeongyeon lets out a frustrated huff as they make their way down another muddy trail that leads them to another dense part of the forest.

“I’ve been blaming you for our relationship and my heartbreak when in fact, come to think of it, I was also to blame.”

She glances at the still-confused face of Im Nayeon and sighs. “I know this is completely such a surprising topic to talk about, not to mention the stupid rule I made where we’re not allowed to bring up anything from the past, but I just think that this confrontation is long overdue between us and the only thing that can possibly let me move on is if I get to clear things up between us.”

Nayeon is completely taken aback. Jeongyeon looks at her hopefully, eyes gleaming with anticipation, begging for the idol to understand what she’s talking about, but Nayeon doesn’t understand shit.

“Um, you want to talk about our relationship?”

Jeongyeon groans. “Noooo! I just want you to hear me out.”

“Okay…?”

The younger woman takes another deep inhale before speaking her heart out. “Like I said, I’ve been doing a lot of introspecting and I realized that our relationship was doomed to begin with.”

Nayeon thinks she begs to differ but she remains silent.

“You’re focus was a brighter future for yourself, starting with the career you’ve always dreamed of, and my focus was getting a paying job for the both of us and raise cows in a province far away.” Jeongyeon had always wished for the domestic, rural life whilst Nayeon dreamed of the complete opposite. She wanted the city, the bustle, and the challenge. Jeongyeon wanted the province, the peace, and the easy life.

“I think that’s where we first got it wrong.” Jeongyeon looks down and kicks away pebbles along the trail. “We just both decided to ignore the signs and drive through the storm without thinking of its consequences.”

Nayeon thinks she has no place to contradict whatever Jeongyeon tries to voice out here. But if she could, she would have totally disagreed to the younger woman’s words. _No, Jeongyeon. It was totally my fault. I chose myself over you and I was selfish and young and naïve._

But in the end, she decides to just listen and keep her mouth shut.

“I used to blame you for everything that’s why I’ve been treating you like shit these past few days.” Jeongyeon feels a tug at her heart, remembering all the times she’s deliberately ignored and inflicted pain on Nayeon through challenging household chores and rural life tasks.

“But I got to thinking a lot and--…”

“Jeongyeon, you’ve been thinking shit for so long just get on with it, please.”

Nayeon asks it with utmost affection, Jeongyeon just gets on with it.

“I think it’d be best if we…”

Nayeon closes her eyes and stops, wishing— _praying_ —to any Deity above to just let her have this this _one time_. She hasn’t wished for so much in her life, so can they be generous for once and give her this?

_Can Jeongyeon not kick me out? Wish for my sudden expulsion in her life because I’ve been a selfish bitch who broke her heart and is asking for another chance again? Can Jeongyeon please not hate me?_

“…become friends again.”

Nayeon opens her eyes. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

“Aish, come on, Im, I’ve been repeating everything here and can you just pay attention and--…”

“What. Did. You. Just. Say.”

Jeongyeon gulps. “I…” she scratches her head, desperately wishing for the ground to swallow her up. “I said, I think it’d be best if we become friends again.” _Did reconciling ever feel this embarrassing?_ “Cause you know…it’d be awkward if you stay with me and befriend my entire circle of best friends when we’re not even friends, right? Right. I just--…”

But Jeongyeon doesn’t even get to finish her sentence. She’s knocked out of her breath by Nayeon ultimately jumping on her and engulfing her in the tightest hug a pair of human arms can possibly manage.

“Yes! Yesyesyesyesyes!” Nayeon smiles and feels like the whole world is back on its track again, circling around the sun and in this case, Nayeon’s whole world is back again, circling around Yoo Jeongyeon. “I’d love that, Jeongyeonnie!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if this chapter was published a little late. :(( school is about to start and i'm moving out so i've been busy :( BUT REST ASSURED, i will try my utmost best to continue updating as fast as i can :) in the meanwhile, pls do enjoy this and leave comments!! :) <3 I LOVE YOU ALL


	7. The Seventh Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their personal worlds are cut short when Chaeyoung rises up from her seat on the log and gathers everyone’s attention for an announcement.  
> “We’re going to play this amazing game!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before thinks get better, first they have to get worse ;)

They’re on their way back to the campsite grounds after collecting enough kindling for the night. In the last five minutes of their trekking, Nayeon’s managed to pierce both of Jeongyeon’s ear drums, screeching whenever a miniscule insect found its away on her body or even within visible radius.

When they finally get their hands on an actual conversation that doesn’t involve any squealing every ten seconds, Jeongyeon is genuinely surprised Nayeon jumpstarts with such a generic question.

Who knew a two-time Daesang-recipient idol-turned-actress had the conversing ability of an awkward teenage boy?

Jeongyeon scoffs. “I’m sorry, did you just ask me ‘how’s life’?”

Nayeon feels embarrassed herself.

The risks of starting a conversation with Jeongyeon about their past, ten minutes after they mutually chose to become friends, is not something she’d like to test out, so Nayeon ultimately decides to play safe for now and start a conversation with a different subject, this time she both anticipated and dreaded for.

“I did.” She hides her embarrassment behind faux smugness instead. “You have a problem with that?” 

Luckily, it only elicits an amused snort from the younger woman. Nayeon feels her stomach lurch from happiness. This is the first time she gets to see Jeongyeon openly responding to her self-abasement.

“Wow, okay…” Jeongyeon tries to catch her breath from all the laughing. “Are we really doing this right now?”

The mockery is invasive and Nayeon only raises a brow. “You know, I think sometimes you forget that I’m older than you.”

Jeongyeon doubles in laughter. “Believe me, I _always_ remember.” _And make it a point to remind you._

Nayeon reflects at first and then agrees later on, the last standing wall of her self-esteem now officially crumbling into pieces. She desperately tries to act this role—the _I’m-totally-a-friend-and-not-an-ex-who-may-or-may-not-be-still-in-love-with-you_ one—but her two Daesangs and Rising Actress of the Year award can’t compensate for such a life-threatening act.

“Can you please just answer my question?” Nayeon miserably groans. “I’m trying to start a conversation here!”

Jeongyeon continues with her fit of laughter. “Uh—HAHA—I’ve…I mean, life’s---HAHAHA—been good HAHA!”

Nayeon stomps her feet on the ground, cantankerous. “I’m serious here!”

The younger woman steadies her breathing first before trying to come up with any coherent answer to satisfy the idol’s whining.

“Um”, Jeongyeon takes a deep inhale. “Wow, okay, uh…life’s been pretty much normal for me.”

Nayeon acknowledges with a nod. “And normal is…?”

She doesn’t have the faintest idea of what normal is for Jeongyeon; her version of ‘normal’ consists of never-ending CF shoots, movie filming, photoshoots and recording sessions.

“Normal is boring”, Jeongyeon lets out a faint chuckle even if it’s apparent enough for Nayeon to know it’s just a façade. “Normal is paying your taxes and having to work nine hours per day just to earn the minimum wage and _hopefully_ survive with it.”

“If that’s the case…”

Hearing people complain about their daily salary jobs is nothing new to Nayeon. She’s heard it thousands of times from the people she works with (her manager complains _every single day_ about having to deal with her) but somehow, hearing it from Jeongyeon is a far different experience—one that’s very heartfelt and concerning. One that makes Nayeon want to fight anything and anyone who dares lay a finger on the love of her life.

“…Why did you work as a cashier then?” 

She’s known Jeongyeon for so long; she’s sure as hell when she says Yoo Jeongyeon is a woman of versatility and talent. Jeongyeon can do a lot of things and actually succeed in them.

But the Jeongyeon who was the co-captain of the Track and Field team, the block’s beadle, the President of the Community Clean-Up Committee, and most of all, Im Nayeon’s best friend (--first before girlfriend), is not the same Jeongyeon Nayeon is walking side by side with right now.

Somehow, the person next to her is not that girl anymore, not all the labels she’s managed to be earn and decorate herself with. This one’s a grown woman working a normal job and just trying to survive the unkindness of life’s reality.

She’s no longer Co-Captain, Beadle, and President. She’s a woman, a friend, and a sister.

Nayeon thinks it’s harder upholding the latter titles than the previous ones.

“I don’t know”, Jeongyeon shrugs. “It’s a small town, Nayeon. It doesn’t offer the luxury of mass employment unlike in the city. I was lucky enough to even get myself that job.”

“Yes, but…”

_But what? But you deserve better and you can do better? But I’m here and I can help you get anywhere you want? I’m willing to do everything to see you thrive and be happy?_

_But…no._

“Never mind…” Nayeon tucks her thoughts away and saves it for another safer time.

“How about you?” Jeongyeon decides this is her chance. She glances at the idol. “How’s life been for you so far?” (She remembers conversations with Jihyo and so-called titles she badly wants to forget and erase from her mind permanently)

Nayeon takes a while to respond. She’s trying to formulate her answer without revealing too much. After an entire minute’s worth of thinking, she comes up with an easy, nonspecific answer.

“Life’s been hectic.”

_Nice one…_

“Really?” It’s now Jeongyeon’s turn to force out an answer and demand for one like a spoiled brat. “Come on, Im! You can do better than that!”

Nayeon chuckles ( _fakes_ an Oscar-worthy one) and ignores the tightening of her chest at the sight of such an endearing Yoo Jeongyeon. “It is! I have films to shoot, recording sessions, and things like that! It’s _hectic_!”

Jeongyeon snorts, decides it’s better to believe this one than to test her limits. “Do you get tired of it though? Of being the Nation’s--…”

_Whore?_

“…number one idol?”

Nayeon shrugs her shoulders. “It comes with the job, Jeong. Being hectic means I’m doing good.”

Jeongyeon nods passively. _Does it really?_

“If you were given the chance to quit it, would you?”

That makes Nayeon stop.

Here’s some context: Nayeon and Jeongyeon broke up because Nayeon wanted to focus on starting her career.

She was training for four years and was one of the late, older trainees already hence the pressure to debut. The conflict of schedules already put a strain to their relationship. Friday-after-classes affairs gradually turned into canceled plans and sorry excuses until it no longer existed; And the only times they would see each other would be at least twice a month because Nayeon’s schedule barely permitted her to attend her classes and Jeongyeon was also busy herself, trying to graduate university. In hindsight, they didn’t even seem like a couple anymore. They were both living a hopeless love story.

The ultimatum was around the time of Nayeon’s debut. The company prohibited any romantic relationships within their talents; their breakup was already bound to happen.

But the thing is, even though Jeongyeon knew it was inevitable, and she had long prepared herself for the bomb to drop and terminate every fiber of her being, it still hurt when it happened.

Jeongyeon knows she won’t be able to go through a second one.

(Nayeon must have understood the wretched dilemma because when she finally formulates her riposte, she goes with a faint smile.

“Yes. I think I’m ready to give it all up now.”)

***

Chou Tzuyu thinks their camping trip was planned on the perfect timing.

The weather in the southern Yamanashi prefecture is a lot warmer than the harsh wintertime of the Big Apple where she had been staying at for the last two weeks, attending photoshoots and dress rehearsals for the upcoming New York Fashion Week. This trip gives the perfect breather for the supermodel, with its warmer season and calming activities.

When Momo gave the go-signal regarding their venue and officially renamed their group chat from **The Crackheads + Mitzu** to **The Greatest Camping Trip in the History of The Crackheads + Mitzu’s Other Great Camping Trips** , Tzuyu already knew this trip will not disappoint.

Then she found out through her lovely girlfriend’s endless fangirling about meeting a certain idol and befriending her. Chaeyoung tells Tzuyu about introducing said idol-friend and honestly, Tzuyu’s anticipation has never escalated more than in that moment.

It’s not that she idolizes other people enough to fangirl erratically like her girlfriend. It’s just that it’s amusing and endearing to see Chaeyoung feel so giddy about meeting someone rich and famous, it’s like she’s not dating an actual rich and famous person, like say, Chou Tzuyu herself.

So yes, Tzuyu was excited for this trip. It was the _perfect_ timing.

It even got better when she found out her girlfriend’s _someone-rich-and-famous_ is none other than Im Nayeon, the idol. To say that she’s _just_ familiar with the older woman is an understatement.

Im Nayeon is one of those “Headliner Idols” for varying reasons. She makes the headlines when she has a comeback, when she splashes her face on the cover of a magazine, when there’s an interview, when she makes a cameo on a TV drama, when she guests on variety shows—name it and Im Nayeon has most probably appeared on it and if not, has one of her endorsements sponsoring.

She’s eternally grateful to Nayeon for the indirect cautionary regarding her _almost-_ agency’s history of underpaid and overworked talents, and although the abundant recognition coming from being in the same agency as Im Nayeon is an advantage especially when you’re in the industry, Chou Tzuyu feels sorry for the older woman.

Nayeon’s overwhelming fame has earned her the reputation of a whore.

The recognition has suddenly become disrepute and Chou Tzuyu has seen more scandals under Nayeon’s name than there is of actual news about her. It seems like the woman is simply just a magnet to mass social dispute.

Tzuyu had been certain that, by all means, she will try her utmost best to not get involved in such hysteria and potentially ruin the harmony in her career. But that didn’t stop her from wanting to befriend Im Nayeon. After all, just like what Jihyo had told her, the idol was here to lay low and relax.

Tzuyu only wanted the same.

So yes, she was excited for this trip. It was the _perfect_ timing, the textbook gateway to a time-out from the hectic supermodel life, a time to relax and just forget everything and focus on her girlfriend and her best friends.

And then shit happened and Tzuyu found out Nayeon was _her_ Jeongyeon unnie’s ex-girlfriend who is currently eyeing another chance from the aforementioned.

All hell broke loose.

It didn’t take a genius to feel the sexual tension between the two; all the sideway glances and the dreamy staring? The discreet need for each other’s attention? The unnecessary romcom-movie-like scenes?

Chou Tzuyu may be a supermodel but she’s in love too. She knows what love looks like and she can see it Nayeon and Jeongyeon. It’s starting to feel like she’s watching one of the many histrionic TV dramas she loves with the exaggerated plots.

But this love story in particular involves one of her favorite unnies (the other being Jihyo) possibly signing herself up for a one-way Business Class ticket to intense suffering and heartache (for the _second_ time), so Tzuyu decides she will not stand by the side and act indifferent to the situation.

She didn’t sign up to become an antagonist in someone else’s love story, no. She’s an international, sought-after supermodel, not a petty rival in some endearing drama. But if this is what it takes to save Jeongyeon from heartbreak, Tzuyu will not hesitate to play the bad role. 

If Jeongyeon unnie doesn’t know the untold stories behind Im Nayeon, then she will help her unnie find out—even if Jihyo unnie tells her not to.

***

“Dahyunnie, have you seen Tzuyu?”

Jihyo’s voice is mother-like, the usual affectionate tone she uses with the younger ones.

After cooking their lunch, the youngest of the bunch excused herself to go for a walk. Jihyo expected Tzuyu to bring Chaeyoung with her because…well…they’re girlfriends, but to her surprise, she sees Chaeyoung with Mina and Momo, playing UNO in the couple’s tent.

When the de facto leader of The Crackheads™ sees the third youngest squatting by the near forest of trees, looking at insects and holding conversations with them, she immediately asks for the whereabouts of the youngest one.

Jihyo will not allow Mina to lose her only partner in the less-crackheads department.

Unfortunately for her, Dahyun only shakes her head. “I haven’t, unnie. But I can look for her if you want. I’m actually looking for this rare orange butterfly that I saw wandering around and--…”

“Go, go”, but Jihyo’s motherly instincts can’t fully comprehend any adorable animal talk from the blonde one anymore. Tzuyu’s potentially missing and she won’t let that happen.

“Oh…uh…okay”, Dahyun, being the obedient child that she is, follows and sets off to the wilderness (the lakeside) to look for the supermodel.

***

It’s not hard to find Tzuyu.

Dahyun acclaims her exceptional searching skills but really it’s just because Tzuyu is 170 centimeters tall, clad in a denim faux fur parka, turning the lakeside into a Victoria’s Secret runway.

“Tzuyu-ya!”

The statuesque girl looks over her shoulders only to see her energizer unnie running towards her.

“What are you—wait, let me just…catch my…breath…” Dahyun wheezes, hands holding on to her knees as she tries to regain her breathing from the unnecessary running. Once she’s good to go, she proceeds to ask, “What are you doing here?”

Tzuyu shrugs her shoulders. “Just thinking.”

“A penny for your thoughts?”

They continue to walk together along the shore.

“I’d like to think my thoughts are worth more than a penny, unnie.”

It was meant to be a joke but of course, Tzuyu’s innate ability to be sober in mood takes away the fun in everything.

“Oh…uh…I’m sorry…” Dahyun innocently begins digging through her pockets, pulling them out to show its sparseness. “I don’t have anything here with me but I can run back to--…”

Tzuyu sighs dejectedly at her failed attempt to be humorous. She sports an affectionate smile at the purity of her unnie instead. “It was just a joke, unnie. I don’t want your money.”

“Oh…” Dahyun blushes, embarrassed. “If that’s the case, then can I know your thoughts for free?”

Really, the world didn’t deserve Kim Dahyun and her kind heart.

“I was just wondering unnie…” Tzuyu looks down. “If you love someone, would you hide something from them? Something big and important?”

Kim Dahyun should know; she’s dating Minatozaki Sana and is continuously fighting through the trials of a long distance relationship. They may be the newest couple in the group (at a year and half, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung a few months older), but unlike Mina or Tzuyu, Sana’s work actually required confidentiality.

In retrospect, Dahyun doesn’t know what her girlfriend really does. All she knows is that Sana is a journalist, but she doesn’t know what Sana writes.

“To be honest…” Dahyun ponders, purses her lips in that ‘thinking pose’ of hers. “I think that if you have the need to hide something from someone, then you shouldn’t be doing that something, right?”

Tzuyu frowns. “If you hide it, does it mean it’s wrong?”

“Why would you hide it in the first place then?”

“Because it’s going to hurt the other person.”

Dahyun stops and perhaps, literally short-circuits for a few seconds. “Wait a minute.” She slowly turns to Tzuyu, a horrified frown on her face. “Is this about you and Chaengie?”

“What?” It takes a while before Tzuyu understands her vagueness. “Oh! No!” She shakes her head with vigor. “Nothing happened between me and Chaeyoung unnie.”

Dahyun relaxes. “Then who are we talking about here?”

“Just someone I know…”

Dahyun plasters a lopsided smirk. “Do I know that someone you know?” She snuggles to Tzuyu’s arm but only gets shooed away like some pest.

“No, unnie. It’s just model friend of mine.”

“Uhuh…” Dahyun trails off. “And can I know what your friend has gotten herself in? What was she trying to hide from her special someone?”

For a moment there, Tzuyu feels nervous. “Wait, how did you know my friend was a girl?”

Can her energizer unnie also be a psychic? Or is she just really obvious and Dahyun’s actually really smart if only she didn’t act on things so irrationally and say whatever she thinks of?

The answer is none.

“I don’t know.” Dahyun shrugs nonchalantly. “Just gay vibes.”

Tzuyu sighs, nerves and anxiousness calming down. “O-Okay…ha ha ha…”

“So, can I know what happened?” Dahyun does it again with the snuggling, as if that would work on Tzuyu (it does, all the time—of course, after the shooing away). “I want me some tea~”

Expectedly, Chou Tzuyu relents. But only because her conscience can’t handle the weight of the secret anymore and she actually needs some advice from an expert—or whatever you can call Dahyun, that is.

“She’s in love with her ex and together with her…” _Nayeon and Jeongyeon unnie…_

“Uhuh…and then?” Dahyun nods along. They stop at the end of the lakeside—a good lengthy walk—and trace back their steps to the campsite.

“They’re both in love with each other and are slowly trying to work things out between them.” Tzuyu takes a deep inhale, the knots slowly untying themselves in her stomach. “But there’s kind of like, one problem…”

“And that is…?”

The thing is would Tzuyu be the antagonist here when all this time, it’s Nayeon who’s ruining her own story?

“You see, this friend of mine…” Tzuyu the Antagonist draws out a prolonged, frustrated breath. “She has someone else at home waiting for her.”

***

(Here’s the thing: Two years ago, Nayeon flew to Tokyo to record a soundtrack for a Japanese movie. She shot a promotional video with the cast and there, she met Ryoma Takeuchi.

He was thirty and she was twenty-eight, dashing and charismatic but adorably clumsy when he was around Im Nayeon. Safe to say, he caught Nayeon’s eyes.

Throughout the duration of the two-day filming, the pair would always help each other out. Ryoma would help Nayeon with the Japanese staff while she would help him with the dance steps and the song for the video. 

By the end of the two-day filming, Nayeon had earned herself a new friend.

When the promotional week of the movie began, Ryoma withstood his busy schedule and made the effort of meeting Nayeon within the vicinity of her hotel as much as he could, checking out food restaurants and stalls around the area together.

Nayeon’s fame stood well within the central cities in Japan. Whenever they went out, it had to be during the city’s dead time (if that ever existed in an urban sprawl like Tokyo), always around dawn with the both of them hiding their identities under layers of excessive accessories and clothing like scarves, hats, and face masks. Nonetheless, each nights (mornings) were spent happily.

By the end of Nayeon’s appointment in Tokyo, she had earned herself someone special.)

***

Everyone is already gathered bonfire-style by the time Nayeon and Jeongyeon return from their kindling expedition. After putting down the firewood, Jihyo waves them over to join the group for lunch.

Dining is spent quietly in different worlds. Chaeyoung and Dahyun are talking about the games and what they’ll do for later’s bonfire boding; Momo and Mina are all futilely discreet with their affection for each other; Jihyo and Tzuyu are quietly chatting (and this is the first time Nayeon saw Tzuyu smile); and Jeongyeon and Nayeon are busy bickering like an old married couple.

Their personal worlds are cut short when Chaeyoung rises up from her seat on the log and gathers everyone’s attention for an announcement.

“We’re going to play this amazing game!”

All heads cock to the side, asking for more description.

Dahyun jerks to a stand like a hyped up student council member sucking it up with the new students. “It’s a game I learned from this movie I watched the other day.” She shares a lopsided smirk with Chaeyoung before turning to everyone again with a mischievous grin. “Here’s how it works...”

The blonde head goes around the group and begins collecting everyone’s mobile devices, much to the confusion and reluctance of the others. 

It’s Jihyo who gets the guts to ask first. “Just exactly what kind of game are we playing…?”

Chaeyoung smirks. “You see, unnie, the cellular signal around here is ironically really good despite us being in the province, literally in the middle of the forest.”

She gestures between herself and Dahyun, who now stands at the side, holding everyone’s phones in her self-made carrier out of the hem of her sweater. “We thought it’d be nice to play a game where we all reconnect with ourselves and with the simple, technology-free life with Mother Nature.”

Jeongyeon, seated beside Nayeon—who’s _mortified_ by whatever Chaeyoung and Dahyun are planning—frowns. “Wait. Are you going to…confiscate our phones?”

Chaeyoung and Dahyun share a look before turning to everyone again.

“Not really, unnie…” The younger one of the silly duo answers. “But Dahyun unnie will explain it to you guys.”

And so, Dahyun takes the stage and elaborates the game they will be playing—a game that spans the whole trip. “It’s easy, really. All we have to do is leave our phones in one area, all together.”

Nayeon frowns, something churning at the pit of her stomach. She already doesn’t like the way Dahyun and Chaeyoung mischievously smile at each other, and the idea of leaving her phone unattended with everyone else’s is not making her feel good.

_Dahyun and Chaeyoung aren’t evil enough to think of anything stupid, right? Those two are angels. They can’t possibly cause any harm, right? I shouldn’t be overthinking this._

“And then…?”

Dahyun sports that shit-eating grin again. “Whenever something comes up— _anything,_ a call, an email, a message _—_ we have to share it with everyone here.”

_Ah shit…_

***

(The group of eight was divided into three types of reactions.

Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung—otherwise known as the original Crackheads™—were overjoyed by the game, thinking it was better than having nothing to do at all for the whole camping trip. They didn’t care about whatever popped up in their phones. All they had were Dahyun’s game requests, Momo’s Youtube subscriptions, and Chaeyoung’s Tumblr notifications.

Jeongyeon, Tzuyu, and Mina felt nonchalant, carefree. Although their phones contained more important content than their special others like confidential emails from their management about schedules and events, it wasn’t like they were trying to hide anything.

On the other hand, Jihyo and Nayeon were just about ready to lose their shit. They are desperately trying to hide something here, but there goes the universe and its _the truth will always prevail_ dogma ruining every chance of success they get.

And it’s utter fuckery because Jihyo and Nayeon _cannot_ _not_ join the game because then they’ll look suspicious and that’s not what they want. So let all hell reign down on them now, Satan. Nayeon and Jihyo are fucked.)

***

It’s almost funny how everyone’s economical standing in life can be represented through their personal mobile devices. For example: Nayeon, Mina, Jihyo, Momo, and Tzuyu’s varying sizes of iPhone X devices denoting their wealthy statuses, and Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung’s iPhone 8 and Dahyun’s iPhone 7 denoting their middle-class lifestyles.

Once lunch is done, Dahyun and Mina excuse their selves to wash the dishes, leaving the remaining six going about their separate ways, doing whatever it is they are doing.

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu are in their tent, playing UNO with Momo while Nayeon stays with Jeongyeon at all times, making sure (and praying constantly to the Lord above and to the god she’s best friends with) that nobody significant will attempt to reach out to her phone and call her, and potentially ruin everything she’s been trying so hard to establish with Jeongyeon. Jihyo keeps an eye on the phones while clearing out the table where she cooked their lunch.

Mina and Dahyun return a little later on, smiling as they carry the dripping wet cooking pans and utensils.

Everything’s going perfectly normal and fun, and Nayeon and Jeongyeon are actually bonding over rearranging the older woman’s trunk set ( _Jeongyeon’s_ suggestion, not hers), until the first phone chimes.

It’s like everyone’s world stops ( _almost_ everyone; Momo, Tzuyu, and Chaeyoung resume their intense UNO game—Tzuyu’s about to break Momo’s heart and drop a +4) All heads crane to the table where everyone’s phones are placed.

Jihyo moves to check on who’s phone is it.

Nayeon feels her heart pounding against her ribcage, watching the bloodcurdling scene unfold before her.

Jihyo’s back is turned against their direction. No one can see what type of phone the de facto leader is going to pick up. It feels like a game show where the host is going to pick up the winner’s name from the raffle box.

Nayeon never liked game shows.

The continuous chiming stops. Jihyo holds up an iPhone X with a red case.

Nayeon feels like she can breathe again.

“Mina, your trainer messaged you.”

Mina nods and walks over to the table to check her phone and read the messages out loud to everyone, as per the ridiculous game’s rules.

The ballerina unlocks her phone and proceeds reading the messages one by one. “ _Your next medical appointment is on the tenth of next month. Don’t eat too much. Take care of yourself there.”_

***

A few hours later, Jeongyeon and Nayeon move to another errand: organizing their tent. The two are now bickering again, this time about the worn-out blanket Jihyo packed for Nayeon (It’s her favorite one).

“This is so tragic, Im…” Jeongyeon wheezes, holding up the blanket with bunny prints. “Aren’t you rich enough to buy Tempur-Pedic blankets?”

Nayeon snatches her blanket away from the bully. “It was free, okay?”

“Oh gosh, a millionaire idol is a cheapstake…” Jeongyeon dramatically gasps, mocking the older woman. “Who gives out free bunny blankets anyway? What did you have to buy?”

Nayeon grins smugly. “A Maserati Ghibli.”

Jeongyeon frowns. “What?”

If talking to Nayeon can reduce someone’s brain cells then Jeongyeon’s pretty much critical now.

“The dealer of my car was a fan. When she found out I was the buyer, she sent me the blanket as a gift.”

It takes a moment, a split second of a moment where Jeongyeon just blinks absentmindedly at Nayeon. Then it dawns on her what the older woman had just said. And then Jeongyeon finally lets out the most annoying (but endearing) fit of laughter in the history of annoying fits of laughter.

“That’s bullshit, Nayeon!”

Nayeon groans. “It’s true! She gave it to me because--!”

But then she’s cut off by an obnoxious sound and it’s not Jeongyeon’s cackling.

It’s the second phone for the day.

Nayeon takes a peek from their tent, leaving the younger woman laughing by herself. This time it’s Dahyun who checks the table.

She picks up an iPhone X.

“Mochan! Someone’s calling!”

Momo—who’s busy catering to the needs of her hungry stomach eating Jihyo’s chips—groans and lazily drags herself to the table to answer the call. She puts it on speaker for everyone to hear but it’s pointless really, because she converses in fast, heavy Kansai dialect and only Mina can understand.

The ballerina translates it for everyone. “It was a neighbor telling her about a stowaway laced bra...?”

That earns Jeongyeon a hard hit on the arm from Nayeon. “You piece of shit! That was my bra, was it!?”

***

By dinner time, the whole group settles down for the bonfire.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo prepare the fire while Nayeon and Mina prepare the food. The “kids” are all around the soon-to-be bonfire, watching Momo and Chaeyoung remember a dance they learned from a few years ago.

“It’s like some agency’s basic dance routine used to test their talents”, Mina explains as Nayeon watches Momo and Chaeyoung do a series of body rolls and intense squats. “They studied it for some performance they had to do together.”

Nayeon nods and continues thrusting the marshmallows into the barbecue sticks for the obligatory s’mores. Mina prepares the crackers and the chocolate.

In between dinner preparations and a few hours ago, various phones have rung, including Jihyo’s. Thankfully, it was nothing related to Nayeon. Most of the notifications were from apps and text messages (Chaeyoung got a notification from Tumblr regarding her favorite account’s new post; Mina got another text from a different number this time, telling her about her purchased Business class tickets back to Russia—something that made Momo sulky; Tzuyu got an email from her manager talking about walking the runway for DVF; and Jihyo received an annoying message from her younger sister telling her to bring back some souvenirs)

After finishing the s’mores and successfully setting up the bonfire without burning anyone, everyone finds a place and settles around the warmth of the fire.

Momo and Chaeyoung—after relearning the choreography—shows everyone the old basic dance routine they studied from a few years ago, eliciting proud smiles and applauses. Mina and Nayeon pass around the s’mores and the whole group rejoices.

Nayeon joins the sharing as Jeongyeon broadcast anecdotes from their college days. Tzuyu tells everyone about her modelling adventures while Mina shares her ballet training and the places she’s visited in Russia.

Everyone’s having fun and eating delicious s’mores. Well, _almost_ everyone.

At the corner of Nayeon’s eyes, she sees Jihyo stealing glances on the table where the phones are placed. The idol tries to get Jihyo’s attention and ask her what’s the matter, but the younger woman is too focused on switching between anxiously spying on the phones and laughing endearingly at Momo’s stories.

“Hey Jeong…” Nayeon leans closer and whispers to her seatmate’s ear. “I’ll just go talk to Jihyo, okay?”

“Why? Is something wrong?” Jeongyeon looks up at the woman standing before her.

Nayeon shakes her head. “I just wanted to ask where she kept my other things.”

“Oh, okay.” With that, Jeongyeon turns back to the group’s discussion about Dahyun’s weird antics at home, laughing when the blonde-haired girl begins randomly showcasing her new version of a so-called “Eagle Dance”.

Nayeon finds her place behind Jihyo, surprising the younger woman when she taps her shoulder. She points at a space away from the group, gesturing Jihyo to follow her.

They end up behind Momo and Mina’s tent, whisper-hissing at each other.

“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?” Nayeon begins first.

Jihyo doesn’t wipe away the anxious look on her face. “We might have a problem—a _few_ problems, rather.”

Nayeon doesn’t like the sound of that. She glances at their friends around the bonfire before turning back to Jihyo. “What’s wrong?”

The younger woman takes a deep inhale first and tries to calm her nerves down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “My sister messaged me earlier. I told you guys that, right?”

Nayeon nods, remembering the souvenir demand.

“Well, she didn’t just demand for a souvenir, she also messaged to inform me that your agency didn’t buy the rights to the photos Dispatch took of you. There’s some a big company asking for ransom in exchange for the article they’re ready to post about the picture.”

If the collapse of Nayeon’s world can be explained through a dialogue, that would be it. Jihyo just said it. Nayeon’s world is ending. She can actually feel her knees weaken and acid rising up to her throat, threatening to escape.

If the universe can prove how unfair it is to her, this would be it.

The universe is so fucking unfair to Im Nayeon.

“B-But why would--…”

“Unnie!” Nayeon’s stammering is cut short by Chaeyoung’s voice.

The young one is waving her hand at the two. “Sana unnie’s on the phone! Come quick!”

***

There are only two rules in Chaeyoung and Dahyun’s game:

1) Whether it’s a message or a call, you have to share it to the group.

2) You cannot tell the person you are replying to or talking to that you are playing a game.

***

The seventh phone rings in the middle of Momo sharing a story about how her parents freaked out and called the fire station and police department over their family home, thinking their daughter was dead when really, Momo just fell asleep inside the house and couldn’t hear them calling out for her.

Dahyun stands up and checks the table of mobile devices for the seventh ringing phone.

She gasps when she sees it’s her iPhone 7 alerting an incoming call from her lovely girlfriend.

“It’s Sana unnie!” Dahyun squeals elatedly, picking up her phone with such vigor and answering the incoming call right away, putting it on speaker for everyone to hear.

The whole group gathers around the blonde, Chaeyoung waving the Jihyo and Nayeon over.

***

Nayeon does not have the faintest idea of what Minatozaki Sana looks like, but judging from her cheery and high-pitched greetings to her girlfriend, the idol can already imagine a beautiful woman—perhaps blonde too?—with a personality as bright as her girlfriend’s.

They all listen in as Dahyun and Sana talk about everything and anything—from what Dahyun ate the whole day and what perfume Sana used (apparently, Dahyun’s girlfriend had a thing for perfumes).

The conversation is adorable and full of affection, and everyone in the group is cooing at all of the sweetness.

“Dahyunnie! I also finished writing my article today! The one that I had to skip the trip for”, Sana squeals, tone filled with pride and content.

Dahyun looks proud herself. “That’s great, unnie! I really wished you were here. Everyone has a partner here and I feel so alone.”

By the corner, Jihyo frowns at the blonde. Dahyun mouths a sorry and smiles with her eyes. Jihyo yields.

“I really wish too~” Nayeon can imagine a frown on Dahyun’s girlfriend’s face. “But if you want, you can read that article that’s been the reason why I couldn’t go. If that helps...” Sana giggles.

Dahyun smiles. “What is it about, unnie?”

But it takes some time before Sana actually responds, and instead, what takes her place is Dahyun’s phone chiming in the middle of the call, indicating a message.

“Oh, okay”, Dahyun exits the app—with Sana still in call—and goes to check the message. “Is this the article?”

“Mhm…”

Dahyun opens the link sent to her.

It’s a news article with a familiar name on its headline… _wait…is that—?_

“Satang!”

Jihyo’s voice breaks through. She grabs Dahyun’s phone from the blonde’s hands and introduces everyone to the call. “Everyone’s here, you’re on speaker!”

Although confused because Jihyo quite literally just snatched the device away from its owner—who is equally confused and surprised herself—everyone still joins in and greets their friend in the other side of the country.

In the middle of Momo trying to tell Sana how she remembered the old basic dance routine, Jihyo hands over to them Dahyun’s phone and proceeds to discreetly move from her place towards Nayeon’s side.

“You’re in _big_ trouble, Nayeon.” She whisper-hisses.

The idol leans closer to whisper. “What? What’s wrong…?”

Jihyo directs her all-knowing glare to the trajectory of where the group is huddled, actively conversing with Sana, the missing member. “We all knew Satang wrote articles but I didn’t think it would be this…”

Nayeon frowns. “What are you talking about…?”

Jihyo pinches the bridge of her nose again.

Nayeon panics. _This isn’t good._ It always never is when Jihyo does that.

Jihyo gulps. “Remember the article I told you about? The big company that’s asking for a ransom so that they won’t publish it?”

Nayeon doesn’t even get to answer anymore.

“Sana knows about you and Ryoma.” Jihyo looks like she just saw her whole world end before her. “She’s the one who wrote the published article about the picture.” She looks over at their group again, all huddled together. “And Dahyun has the link to it.”

Nayeon thinks maybe her whole world did just end before her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're officially in, guys


	8. The Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 29-year-old idol is almost, if not entirely, screwed up now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to sleepy_once on twt because of the never-ending support and encouragement i get in your comments and tweets :) thank you so much! i hope you get some sleep and rest!! bless you!

_There is a great deal of thoughts occupying Im Nayeon’s mind right now._

_As she stands in front of Ryoma’s full-length body, clad in a horrendous combination of an oversized Fendi sweater and denim shorts she doesn’t even own, she remembers her magazine photoshoot earlier that day, of how the photographer scolded her for gaining the slightest brush of weight. (“You know how the camera adds 10 pounds! You’ll look like an elephant!”)_

_Nayeon takes a closer look at her depressing state and sees the dark bags under her eyes, her breaking-out skin, and her chapped lips. She thinks of the way everything’s been stressful for her lately, the problems with her company’s oppression and maltreatment, of how her whole life’s been a mess lately (her own fans are boycotting her because of the North Korean Concert incident), and how fast she’s turned from the South Korea’s Sweetheart to the National Whore._

_The 29-year-old idol is almost, if not entirely, screwed up now;_

_And then she dreams of Ryoma’s goofy smile under those nerdy glasses he insists on wearing despite how it contradicts his charismatic masculine appeal, recalls wearing his sweaters and pajamas all the time, realizes she’s almost always at his place more than she is at her own apartment, that they’re more like a married couple now than just an ordinary couple, and then remembers—she isn’t even in love with Ryoma and they’re not even together._

_Nayeon only realizes then this: she’s fucking up not only herself now but Ryoma as well, and she’s explicitly putting his heart on dangerous territory here._

_“Hey…”_

_Speaking of Nayeon’s next prey…_

_“Oh, hey.” The idol turns to face the person by the door with a faint smile. “Have you been waiting for me? You could’ve just called me, you know.”_

_Ryoma shakes his head, one forearm resting on the frame of the door as he leans his whole body to the side, looking like a complete hunk with adorable nerdy glasses and mussed hair. “I wanted to tell you something. Two things, actually.”_

_Nayeon finds herself walking out to the hallway, following behind Ryoma as they make their way to the living room._

_There are papers scattered on the glass coffee table in front of the L-shaped leather sofa. A mug of coffee rests beside it on a coaster, as well as a few uncapped highlighters and sticky notes._

_“What’s all of this?” Nayeon gawks at the view in front of her. When she flew over to Tokyo looking for a new environment other than the godawful four walls of infuriating dull white her apartment can offer—the dull white that can, without a doubt, turn anyone crazy by staring at it—Nayeon expected Ryoma’s place to be her breath of fresh air. She did not expect a study session with him._

_“Your contract, remember?”_

_Ryoma plops down on his knees and begins skimming through the scattered mess of papers on his table._

Oh. _Nayeon forgot about the other reason she had for visiting Ryoma other than the need for a new setting. “What about it?”_

 _She asked her personal lawyer for a copy of her contract with Byeol Entertainment, the one she had signed a few years ago without any realization whatsoever of the unfair treatment she’s setting herself up for, the same contract she is_ dying _to terminate because if she won’t then she’ll be one tp end up dying._

_“I looked through it and considered the options you have in order to terminate your contract with Byeol.” Ryoma looks so unwavering and sincere with helping Nayeon out, it only breaks Nayeon’s heart more._

_“Here!” He picks up the page and folds a small portion of it on top to mark it. He moves over to the side for Nayeon to take a seat beside him on the carpet. “This is the section regarding the contraventions and penalties.”_

_Nayeon hesitantly picks up the contract and scans over it._

NOW IT IS HEREBY AGREED: In consideration by the Company, the parties agree as follows:

[13] Grounds for immediate termination as determined solely by the Company of the Talent do include but are not limited to the following actions or events:

  1. Unauthorized absences or lack of communication
  2. Actions that go against company values as set out in appendix A
  3. Failure to make progress in the skills and towards the goals set out between the Talent and the Company



.

.

.

  1. **Any personal relationships either undisclosed or made known to the management**
  2. Breach of this agreement



_“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, you know, of ways on how I can help you with all of this…” Ryoma scratches the back of his head, reluctant of the words he’s about to let out. Nayeon only watches him, knowing what he’s about to say yet still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt._

_“I’ve read through the agreements and realized you only have two ways to get yourself out of the agency.”_

_“What would those be?”_ Please don’t say it.

_“Well 1) You can murder someone, but I don’t think that’d be a good option because, yes, you will be tainting Byeol’s image and reputation, but you’d also be ruining your own image, not to mention, the fact that you killed an innocent person for the sake of liberation. You’ll also be in jail.”_

_Nayeon lets out a chuckle, a genuine one this time. “Okay…I don’t think I’ll be considering that.” She sighs. “What’s my last option then?”_

_Ryoma looks just as hesitant as Nayeon is (though she won’t ever let him see through her façade)._

_“A dating scandal…”_

I should have known…

 _There is a good deal of risks displayed out in front of Nayeon at the mention of Option #2. A heap of risks she is_ not _willing to take. Said hazards would include, but are not limited to, lying to a whole country and to herself, bad media reputation (although she couldn’t care less for that now), and and Jihyo potentially ending Nayeon’s life._

_Not to mention, the end of her friendship with Ryoma._

I should have ended it when he confessed.

_“Oppa…”_

_Ryoma’s unrequited feelings have always been a spoken matter between them. He is a sweet and amazing person, something Nayeon would have totally wanted if only she weren’t looking for something more, but they can never be more than close friends. Nayeon’s made sure Ryoma understood that._

Apparently, he did not.

_“Look, I get it, okay?” Ryoma sighs and runs a hand through his locks. “But I just really want to help you out with this, Nayeon. I’m not using the situation for any ulterior motive that I have. There’s nothing.”_

_The sincerity is transparent, and Nayeon knows Ryoma is too kindhearted to do anything to hurt her. But the whole situation is just too hard for her to accept. She can’t fake a dating scandal to get out of her contract._

_“I don’t think I would--…”_

_“Nothing will happen if we just sit around and wait for a miracle, Nayeon.” Ryoma’s words are stern, the first time Nayeon’s heard them be. “I’m willing to go to such lengths to help you out. Please don’t think I’m advancing on to you right now?”_

_“It’s not that, oppa…”_ It is that. _“I trust you, I do. It’s just that, I don’t want to put our friendship at risk here. You know how important you are to me and I don’t want to lose such an amazing person like you.”_

 _Ryoma lets out a deep sigh before moving closer to Nayeon. “And you’re important to me too”, he holds out his hand and grabs Nayeon’s. “That’s why I’m suggesting this. To help you out. Do you know how useless I feel whenever I see how stressed out you are because of the company and the lockdown and I can’t do anything to help? I_ want _to help you, Nayeon. Please.”_

_Nayeon looks down at their hands together, reels in the feeling of emptiness when Ryoma’s soft ones touch hers. It feels cold despite the warmth, feels lonely despite the company._

_This is not what she wants._ But can I last a few more years in the basement of a ratty company? _This is now what she wants._ Can I just stay still while everyone calls me a whore? _This is not what she wants._ What would Jihyo say? _This is not what she wants._ What if Ryoma hates me in the end for this? _This is not what she wants._ I can’t let everyone not know the truth. _This is not what she wants._ I don’t want to stay still. _This is not what she wants._

( _She wants Jeongyeon)_

_“Okay.”_

_Ryoma blinks, watches with his mouth hanging open in surprise. “What?”_

_Nayeon pulls her hand away discreetly and then nods. “I’ll do it.”_

_Ryoma looks at her like he just won the lottery._

_***_

_(In the next few days following that meet-up, Ryoma plans everything with Nayeon meticulously. They go out on the 9 th, specifically sometime around 1AM to 4AM to make it all look like they’re really trying hard not to get caught. _

_Nayeon wears four layers of clothing but makes sure her face can still be made out with any photographic quality. Ryoma wears normal clothes because no one cares about him here. All eyes are on South Korea’s Whore being pictured walking out of a hotel in Tokyo beside one of Japan’s most sought-after rising actors at such a suspicious time.)_

_***_

_As expected, Nayeon gets the email from the company inviting her for an important confidential meeting with the agency’s public representatives and legal consultants a few days following the “photoshoot” in Tokyo._

_Nayeon’s fine with it, nonchalant even. She books her ticket for the next flight to Seoul and prepares everything—her speech and her acting. This is going to be the performance of her life._

_On the night before her departure to Seoul, she receives a confirmation email regarding the conference. She reads everything again and checks her booking details, reviews her “script” and readies herself for whatever it is to prepare for._

_Everything’s going according to plan._

_Until they tell Nayeon to bring Ryoma with her._

_***_

_The plan was to face everything by herself._

_Nayeon didn’t want Ryoma getting involved because this would be messy, that she was sure of, and she didn’t want Ryoma getting thrown into her mess. But here they are, pretend-dating and walking down the hall to the conference room, hand-in-hand because that’s what couples do according to Ryoma (“It’ll make us look more like a couple.”)._

_The meeting is situated at the conference room by the south wing of the building, also known as the “Confidential Compartments”. As a trainee in the agency for years, Nayeon had familiarized herself with every nook and cranny of the building. The Confidential Compartments were the place where negotiations were held, and as far as Nayeon remembers, not one talent of the company walked out of the room without either a frown or a tear-stained face on._

_Quite frankly, the situation made Im Nayeon anxious. She wasn’t prepared for_ this.

_***_

_Nayeon’s lawyer is inside the room, seated by the far corner of the long mahogany table, reading through transcripts and papers, obviously frazzled out by everything. She doesn’t even hide the way her brows crease when she looks up and sees Nayeon entering the room with a guy in hand._

_She looks at Nayeon like a disappointed mother phoned to the Principal’s Office because her child did something wrong. Nayeon feels all the same, embarrassed by her decisions because honestly, the real and current situation didn’t trail far away from the imagined scenario._

_The CEO is not present, something Nayeon is unsure whether she’s nervous or happy to hear about, but in his place is his Public Representative, Minhyuk._

_Once everyone’s settled down—Nayeon and Ryoma take a seat by the other side, together with Nayeon’s lawyer (who still blatantly displays her disappointment over her client’s awful decision-making skills)—they begin their meeting._

_The moment initial greetings and introductions commence, Minhyuk dives straight to the point._

_“Mr. Takeuchi.” He calls out with that voice of his, the condescending tone he copied right off his boss’ book. Ryoma looks over at him. “Did you not bring a lawyer with you?”_

_“What for?”_

_“To discuss the grounds of this relationship.”_

_Nayeon rolls her eyes at the way Minhyuk narrows his eyes at Ryoma with venom._

_She speaks her thoughts out. “I don’t think we’ll have to discuss anything about that, Minhyuk-ssi.” She can feel her lawyer’s gaze move to her. Nayeon hides her fear under a false façade of bravery. “We’re here to discuss the grounds of my contract termination.”_

_“Oh?” A lopsided smirk finds its way on Minhyuk’s annoying face. “Is that what we’re here for?”_

_Nayeon would have snapped back at that if not for her lawyer placing her hand over hers on the table, a gesture telling her to stop or else, so Nayeon shuts up and lets her lawyer navigate through the mess._

_“I will be stepping in for Mr. Takeuchi’s lawyer, Minhyuk-ssi.”_

_Nayeon feels a sense of smugness surging inside of her. Minhyuk tenses when he hears Seohyun’s stern, elegant voice, and that makes Nayeon feel like she just won a point in this battle. She chose the right weapon._

_They proceed with talking about the whole undisclosed relationship and Minhyuk interrogates Nayeon and Ryoma about everything._

_(Thankfully, they’ve rehearsed everything enough to play the role perfectly.)_

_The whole hour has been a series of How’s, What’s, and When’s, and really, Nayeon wonders why the need for such personal questions, but then she dismisses everything away when the thought of a contract termination surfaces her mind._

_Everything is for that._

_A whole three hours later (Nayeon is honestly surprised she didn’t fall asleep), Minhyuk pulls out a stapled bunch of papers, four copies of it, and slides it over to Nayeon, Ryoma, and Seohyun._

_“What’s this? Another contract?” it was meant to be a joke from Nayeon, but to her horror, Minhyuk doesn’t deny it._

_“What?”_

_Seohyun grabs the papers and skims over it. Within five seconds, she’s already up on her seat, raging and furious, snapping at Minhyuk about breaching the initial contract Nayeon had signed a few years ago._

_It takes a longer while for the black-printed words to sink in for Nayeon._

_Once it does, she feels her whole world black out._

_“What do you mean a new contract? Who set this up?!” Ryoma’s surprising reaction doesn’t compensate for the storm raging inside of Nayeon. It’s too powerful for Nayeon to even figure out, she’s just blocking everyone out right now._

_Minhyuk looks smug, like he’s already won this. (Perhaps he just did)_

_“The CEO decided, with enough consideration alongside the management, to renew your contract and change a few clauses there.” He flips to page seven. “They said they couldn’t afford to lose their star talent in the company.”_

_“What?” It leaves Nayeon’s lips like a squeak._

_Seohyun’s voice is more powerful than her client’s, therefore overshadowing the squeak from Nayeon’s lips. “These clauses state that in order for Nayeon to continue her contract, she should cut any affiliation with Mr. Takeuchi.”_

_Nayeon, with her Oscar-winning acting, frowns. “Are you telling me I should break up with him?”_

_Ryoma looks equally appalled._

_Minhyuk nods. “We do not condone personal relationships in our talents, Ms. Im. You should know that.”_

_“Then I won’t sign this!” Nayeon snaps, sliding the stapled bunch of papers away. “The reason why I disclosed my relationship is because I want to terminate my contract with the company! I will not break up with anyone just because the management formed a new contract to negotiate with me. You don’t know how to handle your talents. I will not stay here and keep mum about it.”_

_“That’s where we’re going to have some problem in, Ms. Im.” Minhyuk shifts from his seat. “Confidentiality agreements are tied to you, whether you are in or out of the company.”_

_But Nayeon doesn’t care anymore. She’s been living through hell with the company, trying to keep herself alive while everyone tries to kill her slowly, degrading her music taste, rejecting her song compositions, making her do things she doesn’t want to do, and never defending her when she’s wrapped up in issues. Nayeon doesn’t want any of those anymore._

_She’s done. She’s done with the issues, the idol life. Everything._

_A younger Nayeon would have totally said otherwise, totally discarded any idea about running away and terminating her contract, totally would choose the idol life over than anything in the world because that’s her dream, but that Nayeon didn’t see the hellhole that is the entertainment industry, thought that being an idol was all glitz and glam, didn’t imagine the torment—physical and emotional—that came with the profession._

_No one prepared her for this shit._

_“I’m not doing this anymore, Minhyuk-ssi. Terminate my contract or else I will file a lawsuit against the company.” It’s a threat. It’s the first real threat, laced with malice and weightiness, from Nayeon._

_She stands up from her seat and doesn’t back down when Minhyuk eyes her condescendingly, as if waiting for her faux bravery to collapse._

_Nayeon is not falling for that again._

_They hold a five-second stare down, the room tensing up, before Minhyuk gives in. He gathers his papers and organizes them together. “I will notify the board with your decision, Ms. Im.” He stands up and pushes back his chair._

_“Normally, I don’t give in to intimidations, but your misery reeks and concerns me.” His pitying only makes Nayeon’s blood boil even more. “It will greatly sadden the company should you decide to speak ill of the name. However, it is your choice, after all.”_

_Minhyuk makes his approach to the door but stops halfway, right beside Nayeon to utter his last words to his now_ former _colleague. “I do hope…” he smiles cynically. “…you remember what the company is capable of doing…should you...make the wrong choice…”_

_Nayeon side-eyes him and watches—internally trembles—as Minhyuk only casts a small bow towards Seohyun (and completely disregards Ryoma’s presence) before making his way out._

_***_

_Im Nayeon is not sure whether it’s the whole world fucking with her or it’s the emotional stress and exhaustion overwhelming her, whatever it is, it’s the reason why Nayeon’s fully collapsed on the living room sofa, crying her eyes out onto her expensive Venetian throw pillows._

_People would think that just because she’s a haughty social butterfly in the idol world, she would totally be willing to voice all of her concerns out to the world. No, that’s not how it works for her. She may be a social butterfly, but Nayeon always had problems voicing out her thoughts because of her fear of being judged poorly._

_An idol who complains a lot?_ _Nobody wants that. The last time Nayeon_ thought _she stood up for herself and spoke her mind out, she ended up breaking the heart of the love of her life. She’s not emotionally prepared to do that again._

_The sound of the door closing behind echoes around the empty and spacious apartment. Ryoma’s exasperated sigh follows shortly._

_Damage Control for Nayeon is in the form of alone time for around two to five minutes, and if the crying hasn’t stopped until then, that’s only the time Ryoma steps in and handles everything carefully. He would call Jihyo for back-up, but Nayeon doesn’t look like she wants that to happen any moment._

_Having Jihyo shout at her for such a stupid idea is the last thing she would want right now._

_When five minutes pass and Nayeon’s managed to soak up all the throw pillows with her miserable tears, Ryoma walks over to the living room and takes a seat on the floor, a tub of ice cream in hand and Nayeon’s favorite bunny-printed towel in the other._

_“Hey…” he whispers, softly tapping the idol’s shoulder to get her to look up. “I have ice cream.”_

_That lures Nayeon in. She looks up with bloodshot eyes and puffed cheeks, fresh trails of tears streaming down her face. She sniffs. “What flavor?”_

_Ryoma smiles. “Your favorite.”_

_Nayeon sits up on the sofa and grabs the tub of ice cream with an adorable, defeated frown. She digs into the ice cream with another snuffle. “Thank you.”_

_Ryoma moves up to sit beside her on the sofa. He pats Nayeon’s head like an obedient little child. “You’ll get through this, okay? Don’t worry about them.”_

_Nayeon looks at the piercing concerned gaze from the man beside her. Ryoma is dreamy, the kind of man every woman would want. He’s handsome and charismatic with the tinge of goofiness. He’s amazing in comforting people and funny when he needs to be. He’d be every woman’s dream._

_Just not Nayeon’s._

_When she looks in his eyes, she sees someone from her past. Someone she loved—still does wholeheartedly—but left behind. When she feels Ryoma’s arms wrapping her in a hug, she imagines it’s someone else. When he confessed to her and told her “I love you, Nayeon.” Nayeon wished she heard it from a different person, the one she’s been longing for this whole time._

_They stay like that for half an hour, with Nayeon eating her sorrows out and Ryoma just enjoying the silence and comfort with her._

_It takes a while before Nayeon finds the guts to speak up._

_“I’m sorry, oppa.”_

_Ryoma looks at her with worried eyes. “What for?”_

_“For getting you into this mess.”_

_Nayeon feels a whole dam is about to erupt again but then Ryoma moves closer and wraps one arm around her shoulders, letting her rest her head on his chest._

_“Shh…shh…” he coos. “It’s okay, Nayeon. I don’t mind. If it’s the only way to help then I’m in.” He presses a chaste kiss on the crown of her head. “Like I said, you’re not alone in this, okay?”_

_Nayeon’s tears start streaming down. She nods. “I know that but…” she sniffs. “Everything’s just stressing me out and I dragged you into the mess and I don’t know what to do anymore.” She takes a deep inhale. “I just want to forget about everything and leave. Run away.”_

_A whole beat passes before Ryoma speaks up._

_“Let’s do it.”_

_“What?” Nayeon looks up, distancing her face a few inches away from Ryoma’s perfect one._

_“Let’s run away.”_

_She pulls away from the hug. “What?”_

_Ryoma looks utterly ridiculous right now, Nayeon is afraid. “I mean, like a vacation of some sort. We’re not_ really _running away. We’re just…you know…taking a breather from everything.” He sees the way Nayeon looks at her like he’s grown another head and explains more. “We won’t tell anyone for the sake of privacy. We’ll also keep everything a secret. No one will know.”_

What the hell?

_“So, what do you say?”_

_Nayeon has_ a lot _of things to say. First of all, this sounds outrageous. When she said she wanted to run away, she didn’t mean with Ryoma. She wanted to be alone, to have some space for her own to think and consider everything._

_But what the hell, Nayeon’s never had the voice to speak up against Ryoma._

_“I…I’m not…so sure about--…”_

_“It’s going to be great! I can take you to my hometown and introduce you to my parents!”_

Woah there… _Nayeon feels more overwhelmed right now than she was a few minutes ago. If she’s not thinking too much of things, this actually sounds like they’re eloping or whatever._

_“I don’t think--…”_

_“I’ll book the next flight back to Japan!” Ryoma jumps up from his seat ecstatically. His eyes are crinkling and gleaming with happiness, something Nayeon feels too bad to destroy if she tells him that’s not what she really wants._

_Nayeon doesn’t want to ruin Ryoma’s happiness. “Uh, okay.”_

_Ryoma begins making calls and walks over to the kitchen, talking on the phone with some friend of his in the airline industry._

_Nayeon knows this is going to be bad, knows nothing will good can come out from this, but she relents either way._

_She’s too exhausted from ruining people’s happiness._

_***_

_They take an 11PM flight from Seoul to Narita Airport in Tokyo, arriving sometime around 4AM; from there, they take the rented car Ryoma arranged and drove for five hours to Tanami, Ryoma’s hometown located somewhere in the northeastern provinces of Japan._

_The town is quiet despite the fact that it’s already nine in the morning. After a strenuous four-hour flight and five-hour drive, they finally arrive in front of a traditional-looking, two-story house near the riverside, one of the five other houses lining the eerily silent street._

_Ryoma unloads their bags from the trunk while Nayeon grabs her carry-ons from the backseat._

_She walks up to the front gate with her luggage in-hand and waits for Ryoma to guide her inside._

_“Welcome to our humble abode…” he smiles at her as they make their way through the white fences—something western and distinctive in such a traditional Japanese house. “I only have one younger sister but she’s away for college in Tokyo, so it’s just my parents here.”_

_Nayeon nods and tries to bite down the storm raging inside her stomach._ Meeting Ryoma’s parents doesn’t sound like a friend thing to do especially in our situation…

_The door is left unlocked—apparently, it’s a neighborhood thing (“We only have like, four other neighbors here. Nobody cares about anyone enough to trespass and steal private property.”)—and soon, Nayeon is greeted by the scent of pine trees and musk, the sound of some Japanese drama playing in the television, and the back view of an old man with nest of white hair._

_Ryoma shuts the door close behind Nayeon, and that gets the old man’s attention._

_It’s a small reunion, an adorable sight that could’ve been more endearing if only Nayeon could comprehend the complexity of speaking a Japanese dialect (she couldn’t even fully master the average main language.)_

_Aggressive greetings are exchanged between the two and soon, an old woman joins them. She’s clad in a kitchen apron and her hair is streaked with grey, adorning a smile Nayeon recognizes as an uncanny copy-paste of Ryoma’s._

_Nayeon watches by the side until Ryoma turns over to her and smiles, glances back at his parents and introduces her in the dialect. (Nayeon_ supposes _Ryoma just introduced her. She’s not really sure. Again, she could barely understand the language)_

_Ryoma serves as the interpreter for the two parties but after the introductions, Nayeon couldn’t depend on his presence and translating skills anymore. Prior to the request of his mother—according to Ryoma himself—he has to go and help his father with something._

_Hence, Nayeon’s lone company that is Ryoma’s mother. She relies on body language and facial expressions to get by, plus the broken Japanese she can understand._

_It doesn’t take much though, to understand Ryoma’s mother. She walks with poise and as far away as possible from Nayeon. And her smile from earlier—the one she had kept on her face while her son talked—rose more when all eyes turned to Nayeon._

_It didn’t take a Japanese native to understand the body language and the facial expressions. Everyone can read through Ryoma’s mother and the whole ordeal. They think Ryoma’s bringing home his girlfriend._

_***_

_To be frank, Nayeon didn’t fret herself over gaining Ryoma’s parents’ liking or approval. Although to be hated by one of her closest friends’ parents is_ definitely _not what she wants, it feels too exhausting to worry over someone else’s approval when it’s not even needed. Nayeon and Ryoma are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less._

_Unfortunate for her, the whole world seems to think otherwise._

_***_

_They eat brunch together, gathered around the wooden table outside in the Takeuchi Household veranda. The weather is gloomy but there’s no rain. It’s cold but just about right for outdoor breakfast._

_(Ryoma’s parents also speak Korean!)_

_The whole meal is spent talking and catching up, and honestly, Ryoma’s parents don’t even hide their fondness over the fact that their only son brought home a wife—yes, a wife._

_Apparently, after discussions while preparing the table with Ryoma’s mother Akiro, it’s a Takeuchi family tradition to only bring one person home to introduce to the family. (“It means, you have to be a hundred percent certain that the person you introduce to the family is also the same person you’re going to walk down the aisle.”)_

_Nayeon is fucking overwhelmed._

_Nothing helps when she’s forced to spend some time with Ryoma’s mother while they wash the dishes._

_(How can she tell these kindhearted people that she’s not even attracted to the same species as their son?)_

_Nayeon prays this situation won’t go the way she expects it to go, but the deity above really just hates her guts, does it?_

_“How long have you been seeing my son?” It’s sweet, Ryoma’s mother’s voice. It’s the kind of voice from that old lady across the street who gives the most delicious cookies for free to the cute little children in her neighborhood; the kind of voice fitting for someone who has an “I love my Family” framed photo on every nook and cranny of her homely house._

_It’s also the kind of voice that’s hypnotizing, as if almost_ too hard _to say the honest truth to because it’s going to hurt._

_So Nayeon sugarcoats things. “A year or two?”_

_Akiro carefully begins washing the ceramic plates. “You must be special then.” She hands over the finished ones to Nayeon, who begins drying them up with a clean rag. “Our son has been with a lot of women but you’re the first one he brought home.”_

_That, however, Nayeon can’t sugarcoat to anymore. “We…uh…we’re not--…”_

_“He must’ve felt_ the feeling _when he was with you.”_

_That gets Nayeon’s attention. She continues to run the rag across the plates being handed to her. “What ‘feeling’?”_

_And this is where Nayeon and Akiro bond through some storytelling._

_Akiro, apparently, was born to a wealthy Japanese clan. She was an heiress of some sort. Nayeon is genuinely surprised because the woman, though breathtaking for her own age, dresses and acts the same as every average mother. Back to the story, Akiro grew up like a princess until she met her soon-to-be husband, Keigo—Ryoma’s father._

_Keigo was of the middle class, had no chivalry whatsoever, and always vexed Akiro back then. It only took some time before Akiro realized that what she was feeling wasn’t supposed to be. Her parents wanted to wed her off to someone wealthy to keep the family fortune in-tact, but her heart desired someone as lowly and annoying as Ryoma’s father._

_It wasn’t a smooth ride. Even though Akiro and Keigo continued to see each other, they were separated through the time, by the obstacles of life. Akiro had to study abroad while Keigo stayed in Japan to study in a provincial community college._

_While they were separated, they decided to see different people. But Akiro described Keigo with her eyes and her smile and her everything, and couldn’t describe anybody else the same. That’s when Nayeon knew, what_ the feeling _was._

_In the end, Akiro and Keigo got back together and wedded. They had a son and a daughter, Ryoma and Ryoma’s younger sister, Hirona._

_“The feeling is--…”_

_Nayeon smiles. “I understand it.”_

_Akiro looks at the younger woman beside her and smiles the same. “You do now, do you?”_

_Nayeon nods. The feeling is home, where everything is secure and soft, where you can take a deep inhale and feel the freshness of the air embrace your lungs, and your heart feels at rest. That’s the feeling._

_They finish everything up and tidy the sink._

_“No matter who I saw, there was just no comparing to him.” Akiro whispers with a wholehearted smile tugging the corners of her lips._

_Nayeon wishes she could say the same for their son._

_***_

_The Feeling ™ is super-glued to Nayeon’s mind even at 8:30 in the evening, as she stares up at the dull ceiling of Ryoma’s sister’s bedroom, alone under the warmth of Hirona’s butterfly-printed blanket._

_Ever since the talk with Ryoma’s mother, all Nayeon’s been pondering about is The Feeling ™._

_(She even played the Justin Bieber song earlier while showering for the night)_

_Her mind can’t stomach the thought of not being able to feel The Feeling™ again because no matter how many people she tried to see, nobody made her feel the same things Akiro described. Only one person was able to, but to see that person again would be a miracle itself._

_To distract her mind from the lingering madness that is The Feeling™, Nayeon grabs her phone from the nightstand beside the bed and opens it. She’s swore to Ryoma not to open her phone for anything—even a Jihyo text—but Ryoma’s not here so Nayeon supposes she can get away with this for now._

_She’s greeted with continuous vibration coming from the device, signaling incoming messages and notifications that weren’t received when she had the phone shut down._

_Nayeon decides to first check where the notifications were heavily coming from. It’s from her messages, all from Attorney Seohyun._

_It’s a rollercoaster and it sends Nayeon flying off the bed, running around the room as quiet as she could (because apparently, bedtime here is 8PM), dragging and throwing her clothes back to her luggage and her carry-on. She changes into the most decent clothes she can get without any hassle—_ _a white black turtleneck dress and a full-length black fur mink coat—and rushes out of Ryoma’s house with all the strength and silence her usually-loud nature and physique can muster._

_It only takes two messages to make her run off._

**Are you in Tanami??**

**They paid Ryoma**

_***_

_It feels like she was in the same house as a murderer who masked himself as the friendly stranger who invited her over. It feels like she was played out to be the fool in a grand scheme. It feels like she was a mouse in an experiment—just a medium to get some results._

_Nayeon feels fucking stupid. And used. But more on the stupid side._

_She just found out Ryoma has been paid to bring her to wherever she was a few minutes ago, perhaps even lied about meeting his parents, and her first instinct as a respectable 29-year-old adult is to run off with her Louis Vuitton luggage and Burberry tote bag, trying her best to look normal when she’s dressed in the flashiest black turtleneck dress and a full-length black fur mink coat set, something_ normal _people don’t wear on a daily basis here._

_She feels stupid and this is where she finds her stupid self now: sitting on the bus stop waiting bench, panting and shivering from the coldness after being exposed to the harsh winter winds for almost half an hour now (she’s been walking for thirty minutes), at the edge of crying like a lost child (because she probably is, right now)_

_Nayeon’s exhausted from everything. It feels like she can’t even trust anyone anymore. Life is constantly fucking her over and it’s getting tiring now despite how she’s gotten used to the misfortune._

_When her phone begins vibrating in her hold and she brings it up to her face to get a clearer look at who this sudden caller is, Nayeon’s continuous efforts of holding back her tears all comes crashing down on her._

_The dam breaks when she sees Jihyo’s face plastered on the screen of her phone, smiling in the picture they took together and Nayeon used as her contact photo._

_“J-Jihyo?”_

_“I’m sending you an address; it’s the closest place you can stay at for the meanwhile. Don’t bother complaining.” Jihyo’s voice is straight and stern but soft at the same time, the weird combination only Jihyo herself can make._

_Nayeon’s beyond confused but this is Jihyo, and the woman—despite everything—wants nothing but the best for her._

_She receives the address a few seconds later. Nayeon exits the app and checks the message. It’s unfamiliar and she isn’t so sure if she can even read the address out loud._

_“I’ll take care of the mess here. Lay low and don’t do anything stupid okay?”_

_“Where am I going, Jihyo?”_

_There’s a pause. “I just want to let you know that this decision was made under such short notice and it’s the safest and nearest place you can hide at in the meanwhile.”_

_Nayeon sniffs and wipes away her tears. Her brows dip in concern. “Where am I going, Jihyo?”_

_“It’s an hour’s worth of a train ride and another half for a cab but like I said, it’s the nearest and most trustworthy place you can hide at. All of the people there are my friends. You know how I like taking a leave every month? That’s the place I go to.”_

_“Where am I going, Jihyo?” Nayeon is still hesitant. “Whose house is this?”_

_“Also, don’t tell her I gave you her address.”_

_“Her?” Nayeon frowns. “Who’s ‘her’?”_

_The line goes silent for a few second. If Nayeon couldn’t hear Jihyo’s breathing then she would have automatically assumed that the younger woman had ended the call. “Jihyo? Are you still there? Whose house are you sending me off to?”_

_It takes a while for Jihyo to respond._

_“Jeongyeon’s.”_

_And then Nayeon feels it._

_Home, where everything is secure and soft, where you can take a deep inhale and feel the freshness of the air embrace your lungs, and your heart feels at rest._

_Nayeon feels everything just at the mention of her name._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, pls don't expect me to update as fast as before. i have classes now :( i am so sorry but rest assured i will finish this fic until my planned tenth/eleventh chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for always reading! Pls do comment! I always read everything and i take encouragement from each of your comments. :D


	9. The Momentary Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Nayeon’s happiness—even for just this night—Jihyo lies.
> 
> For the sake of Jeongyeon’s happiness—even for just this night—Jihyo lies.

If Nayeon were to write all the moments where Park Jihyo proved herself to be a god, the 29-year-old idol would be able to publish a novel series. Jihyo is a woman with all sorts of connections and talents thus her great capacities of moving mountains and parting seas just for the people she loves.

When they were in college, Nayeon had to fit her training schedule to her daily life routine. She had to wake up earlier than most on certain days to prepare for talent showcases and examinations, and then go home later than most because she also had to be a student who _had_ to graduate university.

Inevitably, at one point in Nayeon’s university life, she hit rock bottom.

She and Jeongyeon were constantly drifting apart and somehow, promises of always being there for each other seemed too hard to hold on to and fulfill, and Nayeon felt guilt-ridden for lacking in so many ways especially as Jeongyeon’s girlfriend.

Everything felt suffocating and Nayeon felt alone in everything. She had reports due, papers to be submitted but never started on, endless talent showcases to prove herself to, and many more. Nayeon was on the verge of giving everything up.

And then Jihyo happened.

And the woman, bless her, moved mountains and parted seas, and Nayeon woke up with no load to carry anymore. Reports and papers were moved to a safer date and encouragements were given for talent showcase preparations.

Jihyo pulled miracles every single time Nayeon needed one.

At one point, Nayeon asked her best friend _how_. “How are you doing all of this? Why me? Why do you constantly save me from everything?” She wasn’t ungrateful—hell no—nor was she envious of Jihyo’s abilities.

Nayeon owed Jihyo her _everything._

Jihyo, of course, only proves to be the god that she is when she gives Nayeon the answer she never expected. (She expected Einstein formulas and theories to answer the world’s questions, but no.)

“Because I care for your happiness, Nayeonnie.”

And Nayeon frowns because _my happiness?_ How could her happiness compensate for all the times Jihyo got in trouble just because of her? “And how did you suddenly find fascination over my happiness, huh, Jihyo?” It was a playful question, something to lift the sentimental mood up.

Jihyo didn’t play along. “Because I’ve seen you happy and I never want to forget it.”

And then she dives into a dialogue about happiness and how we should learn to appreciate it by going through melancholy.

“I’ve seen you smile and be happy, but when you started training, everything just began drifting apart. It’s hard to continue on with everything trying to carry broken shards of what was once your blissful life. You’ll need some help along the way.”

She smiles at her best friend.

“I’ll be your help along the way.”

And so Jihyo keeps her word, even as the years go by and they’ve graduate from making excuses for research submissions and talent showcases, to facing the real world where there are _no_ excuses left to use anymore.

Jihyo’s stayed with her through everything, through hell and back, and even now. As they weave through of a mess of their _own_ lies, all for the sake of keeping hearts from breaking and tears from shedding.

For Nayeon’s happiness—even for _just_ this night—Jihyo lies.

For the sake of Jeongyeon’s happiness—even for _just_ this night—Jihyo lies.

***

After the phone call with Sana, Jihyo manages to persuade everyone into continuing with the game despite budding protests of Momo who is itching to play her cooking games and Tzuyu, who is expecting a video call with her American manager regarding the New York Fashion Week.

Along with the protests are the risks of leaving their expensive cellular devices haphazardly on a table outside of the safety of their tents.

Jihyo, with all her powers, convinces the whole gang to leave the phones with her. “I’m the only responsible one with the solo tent. God knows how Dahyun flails like a bird when she’s asleep.”

Nobody risks it and relents, much to Nayeon’s absolute relief.

After dinner, they all prepare for bed. It was a glorious day for a breather and tomorrow afternoon they would have to travel back and return to their daily lives.

Nonetheless, everyone was thankful.

***

“I know you’re old but do you really have to be this slow?”

Nayeon huffs as she goes through the pile of bags and pulls out her tote bag filled with just her night shower necessities. “Well I’m sorry for looking for my things. You kind of rearranged everything by alphabetical order.”

Nayeon knew Jeongyeon was a neat-freak but she didn’t know it was this worse.

“It was a mess, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon bites back. “You should be thankful I’ve graced you with my abilities.”

Nayeon finally catches up with the younger woman who’s began striding over to the bathroom without her. “What abilities? Your obsession over arranging everything and anything you can get your hands on?”

“It’s a _very_ useful ability, Im.”

Nayeon laughs. “I didn’t say it wasn’t, honey.”

The term of endearment must have caught Jeongyeon off-guard because the younger woman doesn’t rebuke with anything else after that. She only fastens her pace to the bathroom—only to be defeated by Nayeon’s giant steps.

The idol gets into the lone comfort room stall first.

“Nice run, Im…” Jeonyeon rolls her eyes and stands outside of the worn-down wooden door of the stall. “And here I thought you’d be the mature one here…”

She only gets a laugh as a reply before she hears the creaking of the rusty faucet and soon, the downpour of water.

Nayeon begins taking her shower. She takes half an hour for it.

Jeongyeon thinks it’s impossible how someone can have more than five different steps in just their _facial_ night routine, but here’s Nayeon, showing her how there’s nothing impossible when you’re young and rich, and you have around 21 different steps in your evening routine.

“Is your shower good for a week?” Jeongyeon snorts when Nayeon comes out of the stall, hair wrapped in a towel, clad in a customized Victoria’s Secret bathrobe, smelling expensive and looking fresh.

“No, but it’s good enough for me to start smelling like myself again. I smelled like light smoke mixed with lots of chocolates.”

Jeongyeon frowns and begins sniffing herself. “That’s…that’s what I smell like…” She takes great offense in the idol’s words. _It doesn’t smell that bad, right?_

Nayeon only smiles and pats her cheek, catching the younger woman short-circuiting. “I know, babe. That’s why I love you.” And then she begins to swerve away, leaving Jeongyeon frozen in her place.

If there’s one thing Nayeon takes great pride on, it’s her flirting skills. Now that she’s officially friends with Jeongyeon again, flirting won’t do her any harm, right? It’s just _friendly flirting, after all_ …

***

Unlike Nayeon, Jeongyeon only takes around ten minutes to wash herself up. By the time she walks back to the campsite, all tents are zipped up, lights are turned off, and the whole area has quieted down.

Nayeon is dressed up in a silk Victoria’s Secret pajama set, sitting down cross-legged on the air mattress. “About time you’re back…” she clicks her tongue and shakes her head, dramatically feigning dismay. “I thought I’d fall asleep waiting for you.”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes and proceeds to hang her wet towel on the clothes line to the trees. “You should’ve slept already if you were tired.”

“I’m not, actually. And I was waiting for you.”

“Why is that?” Jeongyeon returns and kicks off her shoes to join Nayeon in their tent.

_Our tent…_

The older woman, much to Jeongyeon’s vexation over fidgety companions, begins moving around the cramped space of the tent, reaching over to grab something from one of her Louis Vuitton trunks.

Jeongyeon snickers once she sees it. “Fucking hell, man…”

Nayeon laughs. “I figured to wait until the kids were asleep…” she uncaps the cork on the wine bottle with a pop, followed by two wine flutes. “This is Marsala, from Sicily. My guilty pleasure.”

Jeongyeon takes the bottle and checks it out. “Wow, 20% alcohol. Totally didn’t picture you for the alcoholic type, Im…” She trails her eyes to the trajectory of the compartment where Nayeon kept the bottle and the flutes. “Did you keep these there all this time?”

_It’s unbelievable how convenient a 200,000,000 Won trunk set is nowadays..._

Nayeon haughtily shrugs, a lopsided smirk plastered on her face. “Maybe…Maybe not…” she chuckles at the younger woman’s vexed frown and grabs the bottle away to prepare the drinks. “This is actually my deepest-kept secret--…”

“Of course. No one would like to find out that their favorite idol acts like a white suburban mom who chugs wine like it’s water…”

“Oh shut it, Yoo.” Nayeon snorts. “Wine is therapeutic for me, okay? If I’m in total shit mode, I drink wine to calm my nerves down. I’m not an alcoholic nor am I a white suburban mom.”

Jeongyeon just laughs it away and takes the quarter-filled flute Nayeon hands over to her. She reenacts a scene from Parent Trap she remembers by heart: 1) she lets the wine swirl around carefully in the glass; 2) she looks and checks out the color; 3) she smells; and 4) she tastes by taking a small sip and through it, perceives the flavor of the wine via the old Retronasal way.

“Was that a Lindsay Lohan impression?”

It’s funny how one simple comment from Nayeon can make Jeongyeon almost spit out the wine from laughter and, at the same time, feel the whole damn zoo in her stomach because, “Wow, you remember?”

Nayeon chuckles and gazes at Jeongyeon affectionately. “Of course I do. We’ve watched Parent Trap every other week in the years we’ve known each other. I think it’s etched on my mind already.” _Just like every other aspect of you._

That makes Jeongyeon smile shortly before turning to look away. She can’t watch Nayeon elegantly take a sip from her flute of wine with those puckered lips of hers and that sultry look she gives, it’ll be _(heaven and) hell_ for Jeongyeon.

When she glances back to Nayeon, she’s suddenly surprised of their closed proximity. _Were we this close earlier?_

“So, wine…” she tries on a new topic instead before her short-circuiting mind can embarrass her furthermore. “Since when did _this_ start? And is Jihyo really backing you up with this? I leave you with her and you’re suddenly picking up bad habits?”

“Oh please…” Nayeon sighs and rolls her eyes for the nth time that night. She chugs down the whole flute in one go. “ _This_ started around when I was 25? I don’t know. Someone gifted me a Marsala on my birthday and I kind of liked it since then.”

And then Nayeon lowers her voice to a whisper just in case someone overhears. “As per Jihyo, she’s okay with it. She’s actually my drinking buddy.” Then the last statement echoes in the idol’s mind. “And… _you_ left _me_ with Jihyo? As far as I remember, I was the one who left. And this isn’t a bad habit I picked up. The only bad habit I picked up was you.”

And then the tent silences down.

Jeongyeon feels her whole body halt, the flute in midair. She stops halfway into taking another sip and only blinks absentmindedly at the older woman.

“I was your bad habit?”

The alcohol must be taking a toll on Nayeon (she’s really just acting) because she continues on with pouring herself another glass despite the dumbfounded person before her. “Huh? What did you say?”

When Nayeon chugs the whole glass down again, Jeongyeon snaps out of her reverie. _Maybe it’s just the alcohol making me hear things…_ “Nothing, nothing…” she scratches the back of her head and proceeds to focus on finishing her wine.

(But her mind seems to ponder about other things. Other things like, _I was her bad habit? What did I even do? As far as I know, she’s the one who broke up with me and—)_

“You must be wondering why we’re drinking wine in the middle of the night while our friends are asleep…” Nayeon tries to hide the slur in her voice. Just because she’s in love with wine doesn’t mean she has high tolerance of it.

Jeongyeon smirks. “I’m not even thinking about it anymore. Everything about you is spontaneous.”

“I’ll take that last sentence as a compliment and ignore the first one”, she waves her hand off sluggishly, _almost_ spilling the wine in her flute on Jeongyeon’s air mattress. “I brought out the wine to celebrate!”

The profound energy in Nayeon’s voice makes Jeongyeon laugh albeit a little quietly. “Shh, you’re going to wake the girls up--…”

“Aha! But what for!?” Nayeon shamelessly ignores Jeongyeon’s efforts of keeping everyone asleep. “We are celebrating—…” and then she grabs Jeongyeon’s free hand nonchalantly and raises it up in the air. “Because we’re friends again!”

Nayeon drones on and on about being friends with Jeongyeon again and how much it has made her happy that Jeongyeon gets wholeheartedly distracted and forgets to keep a tab on how many glasses the older woman has been chugging down while she’s still just round the corner of her second and a half glass.

“Do you know how much I’ve missed you, Jeongyeonnie?”

_Jeongyeonnie…? Yep, she’s drunk._

But Jeongyeon still continues to play along. “How much?”

Nayeon splays her arms as wide as she can stretch them out to—spilling a few drops of wine _again_ on the mattress—and _almost_ shouts, “Thiiiiiis much aaack—!” thankfully, Jeongyeon shuts her mouth first before she wakes the others up.

The older drunken woman gags behind Jeongyeon’s palm. “Mmmhskjdld!”

“I’ll only let go when you learn to lower down your voice, okay?”

Nayeon, fortunately, obliges. In return, Jeongyeon retracts her hand away.

“I was just trying to show my love for you and you throw it away…” The drunken idol slurs with her words and closes the distance between her and her panicking ex. “I just wanted to tell you that I missed you so much, Jeongyeonnie. And that I still lo--…”

Jeongyeon knows _this._ Jeongyeon knows what’s going to happen next. “Ooops! Look at the time! Ha ha!” She wryly laughs and grabs the wine flute from Nayeon’s grasp. “You’ve had enough alcohol for this night, missy. You should rest now.”

Nayeon follows the distancing wine flute with a childish frown. “But—but…ya!” Jeongyeon, in one gulp, drinks the remaining liquid down. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

“Enough alcohol for you, Nayeon. I will not sit and play damage control once you’re up and regretting everything…” Jeongyeon’s mind flashes back to all the times in college where she had to play the Mom Friend™ to her _own_ girlfriend because Nayeon was always out drinking in all the parties they were invited to.

Nayeon only continues to mumble incoherent curses under her breath as she watches Jeongyeon tidy things up in their tent. She puts the bottle back to its compartment in Nayeon’s trunk set and places the wine flutes to her side of the bed, away from the older woman’s reach.

_This awfully feels like I’m babysitting a drunken 29-year-old woman…_

Jeongyeon returns to a grumpy Im Nayeon on her side of the _bed._ The whiny frown on her face makes Jeongyeon feel all The Feels™. “Stop frowning, you look childish.”

“I am a child.”

“No, you’re not.” Jeongyeon fluffs Nayeon’s pillows and smooths out the nonexistent creases on her worn-out, bunny-printed fleece blanket. “You’re a grown 29-year-old drunk off her ass.”

“I am _not_ drunk.”

“You are.” Jeongyeon then grabs Nayeon’s wrist and pulls her up to the more comfortable spot of the mattress—the one by their pillows. “You almost emptied out one whole bottle of wine with 20% alcohol content.”

“ _Almost._ ”

“Really?” Jeongyeon deadpans. “Are we _really_ having this conversation right now, Im?”

Nayeon sighs exasperatedly and gives in. “Fine.” She lies down on the bed with a huff, like a child throwing an adorable tantrum at her mother (what an _awful_ comparison considering the real relationship between the two)

“But I am _not_ sleeping, Yoo.”

Jeongyeon thinks Nayeon obliging is already enough for her to consider the deal done. She’s too exhausted to argue with an immature drunken Nayeon.

She lies down by the other side of the air mattress, making sure there’s a safe amount of distance between the two of them, the right amount to consider everything purely platonic and nothing related to the fact that they were _exes who also happen to be each other’s great loves._

Jeongyeon lies still and prays what she expects won’t happen. Because when Nayeon is drunk, a lot of things can happen. _A lot._

Drunk Nayeon requires more attention and maintenance than normal—that’s a lot to ask for given how obsessed Nayeon is with affection from others—and, in the worst case scenario (used to be the best but now, Jeongyeon doesn’t know anymore), drunk Nayeon defies the laws of proximity and zones and is the textbook definition of a _clingy drunk._

 _So, Nayeon, no. Please don’t make this anymore hard on me._ Jeongyeon begs all the deities above for this one. _Give me this one, please._ Because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Nayeon ever results to her old roots and starts becoming physically intimate--…

“Jeongyeonnie?”

The mention of her name is audibly soft and Jeongyeon wonders _how_ _can I hear Nayeon when we’re at least two feet away from each other?_ and then decides to face the other half of the bed and ultimately regrets doing so.

Nayeon’s face is an inch away from hers, warm (alcohol-smelling) breath tickling her skin, increasing the blood flow to her cheeks.

“Can I tell you something?”

 _Do we have to be this close?_ “Uh…” Jeongyeon _tries_ to put some distance between their faces but she’s at the edge of her side of the bed. “You should go to sleep now, Nayeon.”

And then there’s a fucking pout. _A pout! Of all the things Im Nayeon can pull off, she decides on a pout!_

“But I really just want to tell you something~ ”

Jeongyeon is going to lose this. “You have to rest now, Nayeon. We have the entire day tomorrow to talk about everything you want to talk about.”

“ _Do we?_ ”

The sulking pout on Nayeon’s face morphs into something even Jeongyeon can’t understand. It’s inquisitive but also thought-provoking, like the expressional counterpart of _Are you sure about that?_

“What do you mean--…”

“Can I tell you what I want to tell you?”

Jeongyeon sighs and nods. She forgets momentarily about the diminishing distance between them as Nayeon moves closer to her.

“I’m running to escape to something.”

Jeongyeon frowns. “Is that what you want to--…”

“My whole life, I feel like there’s always something chasing me, that’s why I _always_ make decisions rashly. I feel like I _always_ have a deadline to meet.”

Jeongyeon fights the urge to snort. _Everyone has a deadline to meet, Nayeon. Death, that’s our deadline. We all want to do something special before we die._

But somehow, she doesn’t have the heart to ruin this moment for the older woman whose face morphs into softness and vulnerability. There are no traces of developing tears but the dip in the middle of Nayeon’s brows tells Jeongyeon the frustration and the sadness engulfing the woman in whole.

“And I feel like I have a deadline to meet soon…” Nayeon takes a deep breath and looks into the souls of Jeongyeon’s eyes. “ _God knows_ how long I have before everything ends for me.”

“Nayeon.” The trepidation is evident in Jeongyeon’s tone now. “What are you talking about?”

They’re an inch away from each other’s face now and Jeongyeon doesn’t bother moving away anymore.

“Can I tell you what I want to tell you now?”

Jeongyeon doesn’t answer but that’s Nayeon’s signal.

She closes any form of distance between them and presses a chaste, affectionate kiss on the tip of Jeongyeon’s nose. In a soft whisper, eyes closed, she utters, “I still love you, Jeongyeon.”

And that’s Jeongyeon’s signal.

“Nayeon…?” She whispers back but to her dismay, the drunken woman is already letting out soft snores. Still, Jeongyeon smiles and returns the light kiss, this time on Nayeon’s forehead. “I…I still love you too.”

***

The constant hammering of her heart and the storm of thoughts raging inside her mind keeps Yoo Jeongyeon up all night, all senses working intensely, protective of everyone and the one beside her on the bed.

Protection is really just her excuse, though. She can’t sleep because she worries for tomorrow now that she’s stripped herself naked and offered her fragilely glued-together heart back to the same woman who broke it all before.

The same woman beside her, sleeping cozily under the comforts of a warm fleece blanket, mind slowly reeling its way back to reality and away from the blissful world alcohol had created.

_When she wakes up tomorrow, she might not even remember any of this…_

Jeongyeon’s constant worry in life is Im Nayeon. _Is she eating well? What if she read those bad comments in her recent post? Is she taking the criticisms well?_

But worrying for someone who will never come back and reciprocate anything is what causes Jeongyeon’s constant every day death as well. Imagine dying day by day because the love of your life is far away from you? Because she chose a whole different world you will _never_ be able to provide for her?

Gradually, Jeongyeon learned to not worry about Nayeon anymore. It took some time to convince herself and master the art of a Nayeon-free life, but she did it.

And years of rebuilding herself, piecing together the broken fragments of her heart, and placing her world back on its orbit, is all thrown away by the same woman six years later, standing outside of her doorstep, wishing for reconciliation when all her presence ever gave was constant cataclysm to Jeongyeon’s life.

But the universe just fucks everything up, right?

Because here’s Jeongyeon now, lying beside the love of her life after baring her soul for her even though there is no absolute guarantee that Im Nayeon will even remember that anything happened between them.

_Even if there’s no guarantee…_

Jeongyeon continues to throw herself into the fiery pit of her emotions and regrets as she thinks and ponders for tomorrow, of how she’ll be able to go through the day with Nayeon remembering completely nothing about how they just ‘kissed’ and admitted their feelings to each other _all over again._

_I don’t think I’ll be able to play the same character twice--…_

Her thoughts, though, are cut short—thankfully—by the shadow of someone stepping out of their tent.

It’s coming from one of the solo tents and judging from the fact that Dahyun has the bladder of well-potty-trained dog (The whole group thinks it’s unsafe but Dahyun _really_ just has a knack of holding back her pee until she wants to let it out), this is most probably Park Jihyo sneaking out for a bathroom break.

Jeongyeon needs some company right now so she quietly sneaks out herself and meets Jihyo outside.

“Hey…”

“Oh my God!” Jihyo whisper-hisses, clenching her chest tightly. “You almost gave me a heart attack, Yoo Jeongyeon!”

Jeongyeon laughs at the reaction of her best friend. “Where are you going?”

“I’m about to go to the toilet room to pee but I don’t think there’s a need anymore because you just scared the shit out of me!”

“Ew, Ji. That’s gross.” Jeongyeon teases, earning herself a smack on the arm.

“Shut up, Jeongyeon. Now I _really_ have to go to the toilet.”

Jeongyeon shoves her best friend away to the direction of the toilet room, feigning disgust and earning audible curses from the usually-calm and collected Park Jihyo.

Once out of sight, Jeongyeon finds herself a seat on one of the logs around the bonfire area. She waits patiently for the company of her best friend until a cadence ringing breaks her tranquil surroundings.

_It must be one of the phones in Jihyo’s tent._

Without any hesitation—afraid to disrupt the slumber of her exhausted friends—Jeongyeon walks over to Jihyo’s tend and reaches inside for the lone phone ringing. It’s an iPhone X in a black casing.

_Mina has a red case._

Jeongyeon grabs the phone the same time the incoming call comes to an end. It paves the way for her next clue to figure out who owns the device. The phone automatically shuts down but Jeongyeon presses the power button to turn it on again to see who owns the device.

The lockscreen is the next clue. Whoever or whatever is in the wallpaper is special to the owner thus easily giving a clue to—

_…what?_

Jeongyeon blinks her eyes and looks closely at the lockscreen of the phone she’s holding.

She sees _herself_ —at least, her back view, that is—while hanging some clothes on a clothes line, sun setting down in front casting a silhouette behind. It’s a nice shot, to be honest, but Jeongyeon doesn’t think of that now.

Her mind short-circuits to the fact that _someone_ has her as a lockscreen. Momo can’t possibly be it, she has Mina. Tzuyu won’t even let her touch her phone. Jihyo has a boyfriend.

_Stupid. Only one person was with you on that day._

Jeongyeon’s mind goes blank.

_So this is Nayeon’s phone…?_

But all thoughts are cut short when the device begins vibrating and ringing again in Jeongyeon’s grasp. An unknown number fills up the top part of the screen, a number with a Japanese area code.

Now Jeongyeon knows it’s rude to answer someone else’s call, but technically speaking, they’re still playing the game and phone calls or notifications must be shared within the group. In this case, she’s the only member of the group left awake.

Also, the caller has been left unanswered for the past _four_ attempts. This must be an emergency or something.

Therefore, Jeongyeon taps the green button and answers the call.

_“Nayeon!?”_

The voice is a man’s, panting and trepid. He gives no time for Jeongyeon to explain the situation.

_“You have to believe me! I wasn’t hired by the tabloid to get to you! Whatever you read in that article, it’s not true!”_

Jeongyeon frowns. _Article?_

The man only continues. _“I just—please tell me where you are! I need to know if you’re safe! The whole world thinks you’re dead!”_

_Dead?_

_“I…I love you, okay!? I love you, Im Nayeon! And I know that I have--…”_

“Jeong…?”

Jeongyeon makes a move and turns around to greet the sight of Jihyo a few steps away from her. There’s an expression on her face that Jeongyeon can’t somehow put her finger on… _Was that horror?_

“What are you doing?”

Jeongyeon pulls the phone away from her ear. “I…uh, someone was calling and I thought it was an emergency so I answered…?”

But Jihyo takes big strides over to her, stomping even, and seizes the phone away from her hold. Jeongyeon only watches in shock because this is the first time she sees Jihyo act this way, all vexed and superior.

Jihyo places the phone beside her ear. “Hello? Yes, please stop calling. You got the wrong person. The next time you call again, I will report you to the police and have your number tracked down. Got it?” And she ends the call there, aggressively pressing the red button.

Jeongyeon is dumbfounded at the events before her. “What was…who was that…?”

Jihyo acts nonchalant and makes her way back to her tent. “Just some sasaeng again, Jeong. They _always_ call Nayeon’s number.”

 _Sasaeng?_ “That didn’t sound like a sasaeng, Jihyo.”

“It didn’t, huh?” There’s a ridiculing scoff escaping Jihyo’s lips. “They’re that good, Jeongyeon. Those so-called fans. They’re stalkers. Don’t even think about them. You’re just wasting your time.”

The skepticism doesn’t leave Jeongyeon’s system, though. “But he said something about an article?” A flabbergasted chuckle leaves her lips. “Coincidence much, but Sana just talked about the same thing earlier. Something about an _article_.”

Jihyo waves it off and steps inside her tent with Nayeon’s phone. “Don’t worry about it, Jeong.”

_Worry about it? An article?_

Jeongyeon only watches as her friend zips up her tent and disappears from her sight. To think she thought she had a chance to talk to her best friend about something… the whole situation only got worse.

“Article, huh?” Jeongyeon sighs, curiosity welling up inside. She makes her way back to her tent. “Well, I can’t wait to get my phone back and check whatever the hell is happening in the world now. We stay off the grid for a day and it feels like we haven’t opened our phones for a year.”

Of course, the words only join along the fog of the night, falling onto no one’s ears.

Jeongyeon lets out one final exhale before stepping inside her tent and zipping it up. Although her mind is more confused than earlier, more curious as well, the exhaustion’s finally falling on her.

Carefully, she joins Nayeon on the bed. The older woman’s taking up more than half of the space, so Jeongyeon has no choice but to scoot closer and demand for her portion by pushing Nayeon carefully to the side.

Fortunately for her, Nayeon’s still drunk and physically intimate, and Jeongyeon’s attempt at moving her to her own side is turned into an attempt at spooning and cuddling.

The night ends with Jeongyeon relenting (just because) and being the big spoon.

She places her arm underneath Nayeon’s head and cradles her closer, resting her chin on top of the idol’s head and embracing her midriff with her other arm.

Jeongyeon presses a chaste kiss on Nayeon’s floral-scented hair one last time. “Good night, Nabongs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a feeling that i might surpass my initial 10-11 chapter limit... hehe :D thank u for all the comments! i managed to post this today because classes were suspended haha! again, pls continue to comment and read !! THANK U FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY BOTTOMLESS HEART


	10. The Great Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody says a word.   
> Nobody needs to.   
> Nobody knows what just happened but everyone understands.   
> Only one person can affect Jeongyeon this much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE IN PEOPLE

The morning after is a bedlam.

Jeongyeon wakes up to the sound of metal bars clanking. The space beside her on the inflatable bed is empty and cold, Nayeon-free, and the sight that greets her when she unzips the door of the tent is akin to that morning hallway hustle scene in Yours, Mine, & Ours.

The slightly-hungover woman can’t even make out a picture of her best friends’ faces with all of the hurrying they’re doing. After enough squinting and narrowing of her eyes, Jeongyeon finally makes out their faces.

Dahyun, Tzuyu, and Momo are going around with small metal poles from the tents; Mina and Chaeyoung are cleaning and packing up the cooking area; and lastly, Jihyo and Nayeon are loading bags into the two Rovers parked by the side of the campsite.

The moment Jeongyeon steps out of the tent, her center of gravity adjusts and she stumbles a few times before catching her stance.

“You okay?” Mina approaches her first, a pan in hand. Her eyes are concerned (it’s _really_ new for Jeongyeon to be the last one to get up) and Jeongyeon feels the surge of guilt rile up in her stomach (or maybe it’s the alcohol).

She nods aggressively (or, as forceful as her aching head can do) and puckers her lips to point over to the hasty sight before her. “What’s happening? Why is everyone in a hurry?”

Dahyun passes by with poles in her hold and an adorable smile on her face. “There’s a storm coming, unnie.”

Jeongyeon feels the wind get knocked out of her. “What?”

Mina laments at the nonchalance and ambiguity of their younger friend. “The site owner is asking everyone to vacate the place because there’s going to be some kind of strong winds and thunderstorm later. Either way, Jihyo thinks it’s best to leave early before we get caught up in the bad weather.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t know what to feel. The headache is taking such a great amount of patience and understanding from her, it’s difficult to use the remaining ounce for the comprehension of her thoughts.

Their trip is going to be cut short—a bad thing.

There’s going to be a storm—also a bad thing.

But she’s going to have more alone time with Nayeon because they’re going to be in the same car again and same house later on— _very much_ a good thing.

“Why is Dahyun’s so chirpy, though?” Jeongyeon follows behind Mina and makes her way over to the cooking area to help pack-up. The blonde-haired _tofu_ girl is basically skipping her way like a children show character, in her own happy world despite the pandemonium around.

Mina chuckles with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “Isn’t she always like that?”

“Well, yes, but…” There’s _something_ entirely perturbing about the concept of a skipping and chirpy Dahyun in the middle of the whole group’s chaos (because God knows how concerned Dahyun gets when _Jihyo_ is hasty and frantic), but Jeongyeon can’t seem to put her finger on what that _something_ is.

“You know what? Yeah, you’re right.” She doesn’t try to figure out what that _something_ is anymore, though. The headache is taking up a _lot_ of her patience right now so Jeongyeon just goes on with it and helps out with what she can in the group’s packing-up.

***

Only Nayeon, Tzuyu, and Mina take rushed showers. Nayeon because _she just has to,_ and Tzuyu and Mina because they have other appointments right after they arrive in the city. Everybody else just changed into fresher pairs of clothes and did their facial routines in the nearby washing area.

By the time the three women are finished, the group’s already inside their respective vehicles, waiting and ready to leave.

Nayeon, Mina, and Tzuyu all separate ways and go to their designated cars with Tzuyu going alongside Mina’s and Nayeon climbing up in the passenger seat of the car with Jeongyeon.

The fresh scent of Paco Rabanne greets Jeongyeon’s nose, immediately giving her a palliative sensation with its woody fragrance, reminding her of the morning a few hours earlier that day where she woke up with the same scent embracing her, Nayeon’s worn-out bunny blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

_It’s amazing how a single scent can remind you of such wonderful memories._

“Are we good to go?” Jihyo’s voice breaks Jeongyeon’s dreamy recalling. Her head peeks through the space in between the two front seats, a smile plastered on her face as she glances amongst Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

Nayeon is busy with the seatbelt to respond and so, with an awkward cough, Jeongyeon nods, places her hands on the steering wheel, and pushes down on the handbrakes. “Yeah, let’s go.”

***

Naturally, the phone game is cut short. No one can monitor the phones and in case of emergencies, such devices were a necessary individual need. When the air inside the car is too tranquil (Dahyun, beside Jihyo, is fast asleep), Jeongyeon—for the sake of not dying because of the deafening silence—opens up a conversation about it.

“Nabongs, do you have any schedules when we get home?”

But of course, she devices a smooth, subtle way to open up the topic.

(At the backseat, Jihyo freezes midway into typing a message to her boyfriend. _Nabongs_?!)

Nayeon looks up from her phone and—only Jihyo notices—immediately turns off said device and pockets it in her hoodie. “What?”

“Do you have any appointments to go to when we get home?” Jeongyeon repeats, glancing at the older woman beside her for a miniscule second before craning her head back to the road.

Nayeon frowns. “What makes you ask that?”

“Well, last night, after you fell asleep, Jihyo and I were patrolling over the phones and—…”

“You didn’t sleep yet??”

Jeongyeon feels a tug at her heart by Nayeon’s dramatic concern. “I couldn’t sleep, Nayeon.”

“Why couldn’t you--…”

“— _aaand_ your phone rang”, Jeongyeon cuts through quickly. “Jihyo went to the C.R. so I checked it out. You had a lot of notifs from mails and reminders, plus someone called you and--…”

“It was just a _sasaeng_.” This time it’s Jihyo who interjects, tone unfamiliarly sharp and stern. “I handled it.”

Jeongyeon catches a glimpse of a _worried?_ frown on the younger woman’s face from the rearview mirror. It immediately dissipates and turns into a neutral expression focused on whatever it is Jihyo’s typing at in her phone.

Nayeon, frankly, doesn’t know what to feel regarding the situation but she’s sure of the worry clenching at her guts. “Uh…” _think of something, Nayeon!_ “I don’t think I have anything to do…”

“Are you sure?” Jeongyeon makes a turn, following Mina’s Rover. “The mail headers looked really important though…”

“Yes, I’m sure. I just checked my inbox a few seconds ago. Nothing important…” Nayeon avoids looking at the charismatic driver and instead, puts her attention to her window, looking out at the beautiful greenery.

“Oh…” Jeongyeon hums and passively nods.

“Why the sudden interest in my schedule, though?” The idol finds the courage to spare a glance at the other woman.

“Well, I wanted to offer you a drive to your meetings or whatever…but I don’t see a need to anymore…”

Jeongyeon says it so casually and busies herself with maneuvering the vehicle; she fails to notice the effect she has on Nayeon _and_ Jihyo, both women left with their mouths agape, surprised of what they had just heard.

“What?” The shock in Jihyo’s tone causes Jeongyeon to glance at her from the rearview mirror. “Are you offering Nayeon a drive?”

“Well, I don’t think she needs it anymore so…”

Jihyo narrows her eyes and pouts. “You don’t even have a car, Jeong.”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. “That can be fixed, Park Jihyo.”

“What? Are you going to borrow one of Mina’s--…”

“Okaaay…” Nayeon intervenes before the playful bickering can even advance into an actual argument. She adjusts herself on the seat, effectively moving around casting a glare at the two adult women. “Are we _seriously_ going to bicker about this?”

When Jihyo just sighs and shakes her head like a defeated child, Nayeon smiles. “Good.” She sits slumps back in place. “Anyway, Jeong, as much as I’d love that offer, I think I’d be happier if we just spend the whole day resting at home tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Jeongyeon smiles. “I’d love that too.”

(Nayeon is suddenly more excited for tomorrow than she is for any other day in her life)

(Jeongyeon feels the same)

***

The rain begins torrentially pouring fifteen minutes into their trip back. Jeongyeon’s wipers are moving in a rapid pace, eager to clear the pane or at least make the driveway an actual view to the eyes.

Everyone inside the vehicle is batshit terrified.

Driving under such conditions—not to mention, they’re maneuvering _down_ a mountainside—has everyone holding on to their seats (Nayeon with one hand on the overhead handle and the other on the side of her seat, Jihyo with one hand on the handle and the other holding Dahyun secured in place—she’s still peacefully asleep despite the turbulence).

They’re already approaching the bottom of the mountain, nearer to civilization, when Jeongyeon makes a sudden, sharp turn to the opposite direction, causing all of her passengers to swerve in their seats.

(Dahyun still doesn’t wake up, though)

“Where are we going?” Jihyo asks frantically, hand still clasping tightly on the handle.

Jeongyeon inches closer to the window pane, eyes narrowing to focus through the waterfalls of rain on the glass panel. “Mina took a left, sorry.” She huffs.

When the Rover begins slowing down and taking a normal pace, Jihyo and Nayeon finally lift their hands off the handles. (Although Jihyo still makes sure Dahyun’s secured in place, an arm hovering like a seatbelt around the younger girl’s torso)

“You _seriously_ need some glasses, Jeong.” Nayeon chides.

“It wasn’t me, it was the rain. Who the fuck can see through this madness?!” Jeongyeon erupts, slightly frustrated at how challenging maneuvering the car through the heavy rainfall is. “And Mina’s driving _waaay_ too fast.”

“You’re just driving like a mom.”

Jeongyeon glares at the woman by the backseat. “It’s either this or death. Pick one, Park.”

Jihyo doesn’t get to answer because Nayeon’s already interjecting with a confused frown. “Wait a minute, where are we going?”

With that query, Jeongyeon begins looking through her surroundings. The rain is slowly waning in this side of the mountain, paving a way for everyone in the car to see the sudden appearance of small contemporary houses and overall civilization.

“I…actually don’t know…” Jeongyeon trails off. She’s only following Mina.

At the back, Jihyo pulls out her phone and begins dialing numbers. “Wait, I’ll check.”

It takes a few rings before Momo answers Jihyo’s call. By the time she does, Jeongyeon’s already taking a left turn to a sign that says _Mt. Fuji Shizuoka Airport._

_Where are we going?_

Nayeon seems to be wondering about the same thing because she voices it out, “Where are we going?” She looks out in her window, people walking and dragging behind bags and luggage. “Are we going to fly back to Mitan?”

Jeongyeon simply follows behind Mina’s Rover as the latter drives around the airport and picks a parking spot near the Entrance/Exit. She parks a car away from Mina. The exact moment they’re parked, Jihyo’s hung up on Momo.

“Why are we--…” but Nayeon’s question is abruptly cut off by the thud of Jeongyeon’s door slamming shut, the latter already making her way to their friend’s car.

Nayeon then refers to the other conscious person in the car with her, Jihyo. She unbuckles her seatbelt to freely crane her body to face the backseat. “Jihyo, do you, by any chance, know why we’re at the airport? I don’t think it’s a good idea to fly--…”

“Sana’s here.”

The car plunges into heavy silence. Nayeon feels like she’s just been slapped by an iceberg. “What?”

Jihyo’s initial reaction only makes everything worse. She shuts her eyes close, in distress, and begins massaging her temples. “Sana is here. We’re going to pick her up. You’re going to meet her.”

_Three sentences._ How could days of happiness end with just _three sentences_?

***

Mina and Momo head to the Arrival area of the airport alongside Jeongyeon, who only gets informed of the plan on their way there.

(“When did you guys plan this?”

Momo shrugs. “Sana planned it. She wanted to surprise Dahyunnie.”

That makes Jeongyeon smile.)

A groan is heard from the usually-calm Myoui Mina as she checks her wristwatch. “Her expected Time of Arrival is around 11AM but she’s not here yet…” she trails off, standing on her ballerina toes and craning her neck to look around for the familiar face amidst the uncrowded area of the airport.

“Maybe the weather—oh, look!” Momo’s short attention span is yet again proved by the sudden change of her focus, now panning to the trajectory where she’s pointing her index out at. “There are a lot of people there!”

“Hmm”, Mina hums, settling down on her heels again. There _are_ groups of people huddled by the other Exit/Entrance doors of the Arrival area. “Maybe she’s just stuck there. Let’s check it out.”

They tread to the crowded area but decide against plunging into the sea of hustling strangers, cameras in hold.

“Maybe there’s a celebrity?” Momo’s curiosity is followed by a grunt when a middle-aged man accidentally shoves her forward and doesn’t apologize.

Mina pulls her girlfriend away from the pandemonium, keeping the innocent woman safe behind her frame. Jeongyeon, being the tallest one in their trifecta, offers to check out the chaos instead. Mina is reluctant about it but the older girl offers reassurance that she won’t dive into the commotion and instead, will just take a peek. Mina, of course, doesn’t argue anymore.

Jeongyeon takes a deep breath before throwing herself into the outer layer of the crowd. The chaos is along the middle and inner core of the mob, thus Jeongyeon’s decision to only get through the outer hustle and tiptoe to take a look.

A series of _excuse me’_ s and _oh, sorry_ leave her lips like a jagged breath. Her beautiful trekking shoes are stepped on and she’s shoved back and forth. It takes a few more curses and patience before Jeongyeon gives up and settles for the line between middle and outer layer. The chaos is too much to handle.

With the little space she’s offered, Jeongyeon stands on her tiptoes and takes a good look at the direction where all the cameras are flashing at.

There are a few stoic men trying to make a way through the crowd, dressed in black polo shirts, the word **SECURITY** printed at the back. There are around three people—two women and one man—dressed casually, aiding to the press.

 _They don’t look celebrity enough_ , Jeongyeon thinks and continues to search.

Finally, her eyes catch a glimpse of a _man_ , surprisingly (this chaos for a guy when Japan is known for its love for girl groups and female idols?) dressed in finer wear, sunglasses giving his identity away.

Unfortunately for Jeongyeon, though, she doesn’t recognize the celebrity. She does recognize though the familiar-faced blonde-haired woman in red lipstick and _sugar mommy attire_ ™ hustling behind said celebrity and the unwanted press.

That’s enough to send Jeongyeon back to her two friends away from the pandemonium.

“She’s there”, she declares, fixing up her creased shirt from all the manhandling. “Just got stuck with the crowd…”

Mina sighs in relief. “Let’s just wait for her here. Thank _God_ Dahyun’s asleep.” 

Momo, on the other hand, plasters an adorable frown on her face, piqued by the curiosity from the crowd. “I wonder, how does Nayeon do it?”

“What do you mean?” Jeongyeon asks.

Momo shrugs. “I mean, she’s an idol, right? They go through these kinds of chaos _all the time,_ especially when they travel abroad. So how does she do it? How does she survive going through this kind of torment every single time?”

 _Nayeon…_ Jeongyeon only realizes and _remembers_ then—the love of her life is a celebrity. A worldwide-famous Korean idol-turned-actress.

_That’s my Nayeon?_

“Earth to Jeongyeon…?”

Jeongyeon snaps out of her reverie with Momo’s fingers snapping right in front of her face. “Huh? What?”

“Mina was asking who you saw there. The celebrity.”

“Oh, uh, it’s a _he._ Couldn’t recognize him, though. He looked like a local artist.” Jeongyeon retorts.

“Ah…” Mina nods. “Maybe one of those new rising actors?”

“Maybe…” Jeongyeon doesn’t really care about it. “Whoever he is, he could’ve just taken the VIP exit or something instead of causing so much ruckus.”

Mina’s only response is an exasperated sigh.

They wait for their best friend by one of the lounging benches of the Arrival area. Mina and Jeongyeon mindlessly scroll through their phones while Momo busies herself in a game of PUBG.

It takes a few more minutes of waiting before the familiar blonde-haired woman _finally_ comes to view, making her way down the hall to the lounge area. Sana is dolled up in a casual Balenciaga shirt tucked into skinny jeans, hauling a luggage behind her and a handbag hanging on her forearm.

Jeongyeon thinks Sana looks more like an idol than the celebrity from earlier.

They all stand up to greet the Japanese woman with smiles, but all they receive is a grunt from her in return.

“That was _awful_!” Sana cries, letting out a deep, exhausted exhale. “The weather delayed my flight and the chaos by the arrival area caused traffic inside.” The cold, drizzling mist hits the blonde woman and calms her nerves down. “Thank goodness all of this is for seeing Dahyunnie again.”

_Whipped._

Jeongyeon grabs Sana’s luggage and begins dragging it as they make their way back to the cars. “Who was the celebrity, anyway? You were standing right behind him.”

The thought of the ruckus makes Sana’s face crease into a scowl. “Ryoma Takeuchi, that famous new actor.”

 _Ryoma Takeuchi?_ Jeongyeon looks through her scattered brain for the familiarly unacquainted name—maybe a show she’s watched before?—but finds nothing sort of particularly personal linked to the name.

_But why do I feel like I have to know who he is?_

“Hey Jeong, you okay?” Sana’s concerned voice snaps her out of her reverie.

Jeongyeon quickly shrugs off the topic. “Yeah, was just wondering why the name rang a bell…that’s all.”

“Maybe you’ve watched one of his shows? He starred in that new Pokemon movie, you know… it was _big_!” Momo’s eagerness to help Jeongyeon remember makes the latter smile fondly. “Yeah, maybe that’s it--…”

“I wrote an article about him, maybe you’ve read that.”

“An _article_?”

 _Article…?_ The words feel like a familiar kiss on the lips, something warm but raw to remember, engraved at the deepest, most hidden corner of her mind.

And then Jeongyeon remembers. “Was it that article you were so chatty about during the phone call?”

Sana’s entire face lights up. “Yeah! I sent the link to Dahyunnie. I had to finish it first before joining the trip but it was too late.” The mild confusion on her best friends’ faces was enough to send her asking though, “Haven’t you guys read it?”

“What’s it about?” Mina sees the Rovers start coming into view. She hopes Dahyun is still asleep.

“It’s about _Ryoma Takeuchi_...?”

“What about him?” Momo deadpans, clearly not amused at the sarcastic responses.

They reach the cars. Mina opens the back of her Rover to put Sana’s bags inside.

Sana puffs out a sigh once all her things are in place. “There was a rumor that he was dating this scandalous Korean idol. The company just got confirmation from an insider and they immediately made me write the article. Turns out they _are_ dating but I have my doubts.”

Jeongyeon makes her way over to her (still Mina’s) Rover to check on their surprise target. “Who’s the idol?”

Sana’s response though is cut short when a familiar fair-skinned, blonde-haired girl comes into view, stepping out of Jeongyeon’s Rover groggily, a frown on her face as Jihyo guides her out. “Unnie, where are we--…”

“Dahyunnie?”

It’s like a cliché romantic scene in a movie where the two lovers meet again after such a long, excruciating time. Everything goes slow-motion for them and nothing ever really matters again (not the crowd around, not the horrible weather or the drizzling rain, not even the back of a woman tiptoeing out of the Rover, away from the group—nothing at all)

The whole group watches as Dahyun runs up to Sana and pounces at her, engulfing her in an embrace worth a thousand years of affection. There are soft kisses thrown here and there, and small whispers of _I missed you_ and _I love you_ , and everything is perfect again.

Except, Nayeon is nowhere to be found.

Everyone gives Dahyun and Sana their moment together to catch up. Momo and Mina are off to the airport’s café to buy some hot drinks for the group; Tzuyu and Chaeyoung are in haste, looking for the cute souvenir shop.

Jeongyeon approaches Jihyo the moment she’s alone.

“Hey Ji, have you seen Nayeon?”

Jihyo, in the middle of fixing (again) Sana’s bags into the Rover’s back, tries her _very best_ not to look at Jeongyeon in the eye in fear of the guilt eating her up alive. “Maybe in the toilet? I’m not sure.”

She doesn’t expect Jeongyeon to follow Nayeon there. Jihyo’s not even sure where the older woman is. All she knows is that she gave Nayeon a head’s up to run away from the scene and return once they’re ready to go. Sana’s probably going to take Mina’s car once Jihyo can arrange for Chaeyoung and Tzuyu to move into their Rover. (Anything will do for the sake of Sana not meeting Nayeon)

“Oh?” Jeongyeon, though, is just a woman _full of surprises._ “In that case, I’ll head over there too. I drank so much water, I think I’m going to burst--…”

“Wait, no…” Jihyo tugs her best friend at the wrist, pulling her back and stopping her from leaving. “I…uh…” _Come on, Jihyo. Think of something._ “I need some help with the…uh…bags…!”

Jeongyeon is saint, but she has a bladder too. “I’ll help when I get back. I just _really_ need to pee, Jihyo.” She pulls her hand away from her best friend’s hold.

“But…but…” _Come on, Jihyo._ Jeongyeon’s already walking away from her. “Jeong! Wait, I’ll come with you!”

Jeongyeon chuckles when Jihyo catches up to her pace. “No need. You have look out for the cars. I’ll _really_ make it quick, okay? Don’t worry!”

 _Fuck._ Jihyo’s frozen in place, unsure of what to do, watching Jeongyeon’s retreating figure. _She won’t notice anything, right? Yeah. Jeong won’t notice anything._

False assurance. _Nothing’s going to go wrong._ Jihyo feels the headache creeping in. _Nothing bad is going to happen._ All she can do now is pray and hope for things to come her way.

***

Nayeon takes her time in the women’s toilet room. She’s inside one of the stalls, taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart and short-circuiting mind down.

The trip to the toilet room was a bother. Unexpectedly, there were a lot of people crowding around the Arrival area doors, making it a challenge for Nayeon to remain undercover despite her modest attire.

 _There must be a celebrity around…_ Nayeon’s sure of it. She knows how the crowd goes when there’s someone famous in an airport.

After fifteen minutes of internal rationalizing and palliating, the idol finally latches herself to the ground of reality. _I can’t hide from this forever._ One way or another, Jeongyeon’s bound to find out about the mess she’s gotten herself into.

Nayeon just didn’t expect it to happen so fast.

Once the coast is clear, the idol steps out of the stall and scurries for the doors of the toilet room. She can’t handle being recognized by anyone let alone now that she’s with—

“—Hey!”

“—Ow!”

Nayeon feels like she’s just crashed into a wall. It’s a hard padding—it’s a muscle, a softly hard, well-toned one at that. She backs a step away to look up at the build she’s just crashed into. “Look at where you’re going--…”

It’s a man in a gray shirt and khaki shorts, a face mask covering the bottom half of his face and a nest of (familiarly) disheveled hair.

“Do I know you…?” It leaves Nayeon’s lips unpermitted. Something inside of her is urging her to run. _Now._

The man, at least a head taller, looks like he’s just seen a two-headed alien. “Nayeon?”

The shock on his eyes soon dissipates and becomes… _delight?_

“I’m sorry…do I know you?” The voice is familiar. The height and stance as well. At the back of Nayeon’s mind, someone’s telling her _RUN. NOW!_ but her feet are glued to the ground, confused and stirred at the same time.

The man slides down his face mask.

Nayeon feels her heart drop.

It all happens too fast because the next thing Nayeon knows, she already has a pair of arms wrapped around her motionless figure, a taller, built frame squished to hers, familiar warmth radiating all over again.

 _Ryoma’s here._ He’s embracing her. _He’s here._

***

The second Mina, Momo, Tzuyu, and Chaeyoung return from their short-lived escapades, Jihyo sprints away, hoping to reach Nayeon just in time before anything bad happens.

“What’s with her?” Momo purses her frosting-lathered lips at the immediate _swoosh_ effect from Jihyo’s swift movement.

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu nonchalantly shrug their shoulders, too focused on cooing fondly at the adorable tiny bear keychains they got for everyone.

Mina distributes the pastries and drinks just in time as Sana and Dahyun join the group, finished with their cuddle moments, adorning fulfilled and lovesick smiles on their faces.

“Oh, unnie”, Chaeyoung pipes up as she grabs one of the cronuts Mina and Momo bought. “I heard there was a celebrity in the airport with you? Did you meet him?”

Sana shakes her head. “I’d rather not though. It was a mess in there.” She shares a cronut with Dahyun.

Chaeyoung pouts. “Aw, sucks. I wanted a photo with a celebrity.”

“Did you even know who the celebrity was, Chaeng?”

To everyone’s delightful chuckle, the smallest member of the bunch shakes her head. “No, but I just wanted a picture. For keeps. It’s in my bucket list, you know.”

Tzuyu nods at that, backing up her girlfriend. “It is. Number 8.” Everyone finds their selves laughing even more at the pure-hearted duo.

“How about you, unnie? Do you know who the celebrity was?” Chaeyoung questions, finishing her cronut.

“It’s Ryoma Takeuchi.”

“What about him?” Tzuyu cuts into the conversation, the gleam of happiness in her eyes long gone and replaced with something sharp and serious, dreadful. _He’s here?_

“The company made me write an article about him and his idol girlfriend. He and the press are attached by the hip right now. All the attention’s going to him considering how his _girlfriend_ seemed to be nowhere in sight…” Sana answers with a small, genuine frown.

(To be quite frank, she didn’t dream of writing entertainment articles _especially_ when they involved going through the privacy of other people—but this was a job she _had_ to do. This was her last for the company before she’d hand over her resignation and probably start writing novels the way she always dreamt of doing)

Chaeyoung and Momo—both _lovers_ of entertainment news—immediately lean in, interests piqued. “Oooh, who’s the idol girlfriend, unnie?” Chaeyoung probes. “Do we know her?”

Sana’s surprised no one in her friends read her article yet. “It’s in the article I wrote, guys. Have you all seriously not read it yet?”

“Oh, we were playing a phone game that time. We all couldn’t check the article.” Mina explains on behalf of everyone.

“If that’s the case then you can go check it out now. It’s on the front page of Naver online.” Sana whips out her own phone from her pocket. “You might know the woman though. Didn’t you guys tell me you had a celebrity friend with you? _Other than Tzuyu and Mina._ ”

Everybody else is too focused on checking their phones out so it’s Tzuyu, naturally (because she knows the truth behind this already) who answers, “She’s here with us, actually. Went to the bathroom together with Jeongyeon unnie and Jihyo unnie.”

“Ah…” Sana only nods to acknowledge. “I’m excited to meet her. Another new addition to the list of celebrities I know~”

She takes a look around her friends and notices the deep focus they have on their mobile devices, a crease simultaneously dipping in between their brows. “So? Have you found it yet?”

From the looks on the screens of their phones, Sana can see everyone’s accessed the Naver website already. “Do you know who it is now?”

To her utter confusion though, everyone looks up at her a few seconds later with the same expression plastered on their faces: like they just saw a ghost and life has been drained out of them.

“What’s wrong?” Sana’s worried. “Is something wrong with the article?”

Tzuyu wants to say _everything’s wrong with it_ but nothing is wrong with as well. She’s walking on thin line here so she keeps her lips sealed together, worried what she might say should she speak up.

“Are you—are you sure about…this?” Mina’s the first to regain her words.

Sana frowns. “The company had an insider confirm with a series of really clear photographs of the two out on dates. I’m not keen on intruding privacy but it was just the company making me write the damned article. They just gave me the information and the pictures and what to include in the article, and I just wrote.”

Everyone looks like they’ve just been hit by an iceberg.

“This guy and… _Nayeon_ _unnie_?” Chaeyoung looks so heartbroken, it’s starting to make Sana’s heart clench in concern.

“Nayeon unnie? Do you know Im Nayeon?”

Chaeyoung nods slowly. “She—she’s the…the idol we’ve been…talking about.”

“You mean, the new friend who also happens to be Jeongyeonnie’s--…”

And then it dawns on them all, eyes widening in telepathic concurrent realization.

“Oh my God.” Mina mumbles, airy with the fright lacing her tone. If this feels like a bucket of ice cold betrayal flung at their faces, Mina’s afraid of what damage it can do to the actual victim, “Jeongyeon.”

***

Again, the trip to the toilet area is a challenge due to the ongoing crowd of hustlers manhandling everyone who gets in their way. Jeongyeon’s confused and irritated at how the media has moved onto covering the toilet comfort rooms just when she’s going there.

 _Maybe I’m the real celebrity here…_ she considers it for a few seconds but then laughs at her own thoughts a little later on. _As if._

After almost ten minutes of shoving her way into the sea of hustling strangers, Jeongyeon finally arrives at the front of the hall leading down to the comfort rooms—only to be stopped by some big men in black polo shirts.

“Excuse me ma’am, where are you going?” one of the scary-looking men questions, effectively constructing a human barrier in front of the hallway.

“Um…to the women’s room?” _Where else would I be going…?_

Thankfully, the scary-looking men abide by Jeongyeon’s excuse (because really, it is for that) and make a way for her to pass through.

 _Ugh, people nowadays. Just because you’re big and popular doesn’t mean you have to be put on such a pedestal._ Jeongyeon walks down the hallway leading to the comfort rooms. _The celebrity guy must be here as—_

Her thoughts are cut short by the sight unfolding before her, a few steps down the hall where two figures remain together.

Jeongyeon’s face falls faster than a pin drop. In an instant, her eyes set forth to the sight of Nayeon in someone else’s arms, lips parted in stunned surprise, stagnant in place as she lets the whole scene sink in.

Nayeon’s dumbfounded herself. She doesn’t notice Jeongyeon’s presence there. All the older woman does is stare straight into the brown orbs of the tall, well-built man who had just, a few seconds ago, embraced her like there was no tomorrow. 

“Nayeon?”

Two heads immediately crane to the direction of the wretched voice.

Nayeon feels her whole soul leave her body.

Jeongyeon’s standing there, a few feet away, and she’s with Ryoma, _God knows how long Jeongyeon’s been there and what she had to see,_ but this is them in full glory, the ugly truth—lie?—Nayeon’s been desperately hiding all this time.

Jeongyeon’s seeing it.

Nayeon, without any hesitation, rushes to the younger woman’s aid, a fingers automatically wrapping themselves around a trembling hand. “Jeong, I--…”

“I just wanted to tell you that we’re about to leave already.”

It’s straightforward and offhand, entirely indifferent to Nayeon and the course of events transpiring. What breaks Nayeon’s heart even more is when Jeongyeon pulls her hand away from the older woman’s hold. Slowly, softly, but surely.

“Jeong, please--…”

Jeongyeon’s voice is soft, features blasé. “We’ll wait in the car.” But when she turns and walks away, Nayeon feels like a boulder is crushing her and her whole world is collapsing right in front of her very own eyes.

Jeongyeon’s figure slowly disappears from sight, not bothering to look back even with Nayeon’s soft pleads.

“Who was that…?” Ryoma suddenly appears behind her, midway into placing an arm around Nayeon’s frame only to be swatted away by the older woman, eyes cold and glaring. “Don’t touch me.”

“What--…”

“What are you doing here, Ryoma?” Now that the cat is out of the bag, the only thing Nayeon has to do now is take care of the mess with Ryoma and then leave him for good to go back to Jeongyeon. ( _Hopefully, she has someone to go back to. Please.)_

“Where have you been, Nayeon? What happened? I was looking everywhere for you.”

“Why are you making it sound like I owe that to you? No one told you to come looking for me, Ryoma.” Nayeon is tired of the bullshit. “I’m happy where I am so please, don’t bother anymore.”

She tries to walk this away, but Ryoma’s not done yet.

“That’s it? After everything we’ve been through, you’re just going to throw it all away?”

Nayeon turns sharply to face the man she once adored. “ _You_ were the one who threw it all away. As a matter of fact, was there even _anything_ to throw away when you were just playing pretend? Everything was just a strategic ploy for you.”

Ryoma frowns. _God, this man deserves an Oscar._ “What are you talking about, Nayeon?”

This riles up the idol. “Do you think I don’t know? You were just using me, Ryoma! I don’t know for what, but you were and that’s that. _You_ threw everything away. _You_ used me. Here I am away from you, living an actually good life.”

Ryoma may be taller than her by a head, but Nayeon feels like Goliath when she stares him down ( _up?)_ “Don’t _ever_ try to find me again and bother me, Ryoma. Or I swear to God, you’ll make me lose the little amount of respect I have left for you.”

She pushes past Ryoma’s frame, “Now fucking move away before I make a scene here and ruin you.” She runs after the lost shadow left by the love of her life, casting the whole world away from her view and just focusing on Jeongyeon. _Just Jeongyeon._

***

It feels strange. _This._ The telltale brackish tears prickling on warm skin, streaming like an erupted dam held back for centuries. Jeongyeon feels the muscle of her chin tremble. She tries to hold everything back, afraid that if her friends see this, they might worry or worse, think it’s Nayeon’s doing.

 _It is, right?_ _Is it Nayeon’s fault?_

To be fair, the whole ordeal between them was ambiguous from the beginning. There were no lines to tread around and be cautious about. They both just plunged into the madness headfirst, not knowing what the things were at stake.

Emotions were held back and when it felt like they had enough, when it felt like love again, Jeongyeon didn’t even consider the faintest possibility of Nayeon keeping someone waiting back _home._

_Home._

_Faintest possibility._

Jeongyeon smirks through the annoying set of tears waterfall-ing down her cheeks. _Fucking faintest possibility._

She doesn’t know where to stand.

She’s _fucking_ in love with Im Nayeon.

But everything _fucking_ sucks.

“Hey, Jeong, I--...” Sana freezes midway into climbing up Mina’s Rover. The smile on her lips immediately fades away. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Jeongyeon shakes it off and wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. “Nothing.” She sniffs, chin still trembling from the excruciating compressing of her chest. “Let’s just—Satang…” the way she calls Sana’s name, shaking and in pain, makes her eyes well up with tears again.

Mina climbs down the driver’s seat of her Rover, about to say something only to short-circuit at the sight of Jeongyeon in tears.

Jeongyeon only focuses on Sana now amidst the jagged breathing. “Can—Can you be the…the one to drive?” She wipes the tears away again.

“Okay.” Sana nods, face scrunching in concern. She runs a soft thumb across Jeongyeon’s stained cheeks. “You go rest.”

Mina doesn’t continue with what she’s about to say and only silently obliges with everything. She goes back to her Rover and answers to the silence of Chaeyoung, Momo, and Tzuyu (who all saw the scene unfold before them, hearts breaking and fists clenching all at the same time)

Nobody says a word.

Nobody needs to.

Nobody knows what just happened but everyone understands.

Only one person can affect Jeongyeon this much.

***

Nayeon returns to a new set-up. No one talks about it. No one says a word. Sana is behind the wheel, Jeongyeon beside her on the passenger’s, looking out the window. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu are seated at the back quietly.

“You go at Mina’s.” This is the first time Sana meets and talks to Nayeon. _She wishes, despite everything, for it not to be the last._

Nayeon, soul crushed into pieces, lifeless and drained, obliges after one last glance at Jeongyeon. She’s not going to give up. She’ll deal with this.

She has to let their hearts rest first.

The great show has finally ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's hereee! sorry for the late update :( pls enjoy and always comment! <3 i appreciate you all lovely human beings very much!!


	11. The Life You Chose (and the one you didn't)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their expected time of arrival was around 5PM because of all the things they wanted to see and do together. They arrived in Mitan four hours early.
> 
> The weather is no better in the small town—worse if you consider the harsh winter—and the skies are as cloudy and gloomy as Nayeon’s soul.

**_[BREAKING] NAYEON SPOTTED IN JAPAN!_ **

_After weeks of absence from the media and social networking sites, idol-turned-actress Im Nayeon has been spotted in a Japanese airport meeting with boyfriend, Japanese actor Ryoma Takeuchi._

_The two have been reported and confirmed dating only a few days prior. Reactions to the news of the idol’s resurfacing are mixed, online citizens speculating that the idol has been staying with the actor throughout her absence._

_We have yet to receive any statements from the couple’s legal representatives regarding the matter._

Expectedly, the media catches a whiff of the “clandestine meet-up” (that’s what they’re calling it now) and makes both Japanese and Korean servers break with the stampede of parasites itching to get their hands on the latest celebrity news.

Nayeon and Ryoma’s names are trending worldwide, breaking search engines and filling up front pages of online news articles. Related searches to Nayeon’s name even worse than the time she was dubbed the Nation’s Whore.

_(Nayeon Pregnant, Nayeon Slut, Nayeon Dead…it goes on)_

Now that everyone in the group has their own phones with them, Nayeon doesn’t even want to think about them knowing anymore. Whatever picture goes online, everyone’s going to make their own articles now, noting details and making up stories _far_ from the truth.

She doesn’t bother anymore.

Not when she glances at Momo’s phone screen and sees a picture of her beside a picture of Ryoma, Momo thumbing down the website and reading but doesn’t even finish the _article_ and just turns off her phone; Not when Nayeon can _feel_ to the depths of her soul Mina taking short glances at her from the rearview mirror, _disappointed_ at her; Not when Jihyo’s not talking, not even moving from her seat beside her, continuously staring out the window, maintaining a few inches of space between them.

Nayeon doesn’t bother anymore, not when Jeongyeon is taking up the forefront of her mind, the way the younger woman’s face fell at the sight of her and Ryoma, the way Jeongyeon pulled away when Nayeon tried to hold her hand, the way she ran away from her, the way they’re not together now because of her.

_Because of Nayeon._

***

There was a planned lunch out at a famous local restaurant on their way to Mitan.

The plan didn’t push through.

They were supposed to go pass by some zoo because Momo wanted to see some birds.

That didn’t happen.

Their expected time of arrival was around 5PM because of all the things they wanted to see and do together. They arrived in Mitan four hours early.

The weather is no better in the small town—worse if you consider the _harsh_ winter—and the skies are as cloudy and gloomy as Nayeon’s soul.

To Nayeon’s surprise though, Mina doesn’t go the usual route and instead, takes the main road that leads to the Multi-Purpose Hall. Nayeon looks behind and sees Sana’s Rover following behind closely. They park in front of the hall.

“Um…” this is the first time someone talks. It’s Mina. “The girls and I have to attend the preparations for the Winter Wish festival, Nayeon.”

It feels weird hearing her name fall from Mina’s lips this time. It feels different, like she’s a ticking explosive device they all have to cautiously tread around to.

“That’s today?” Jihyo speaks up, voice normal but still something different. She doesn’t dare glance at Nayeon.

Mina nods while unbuckling her seatbelt. Momo’s the first one to step out of the car, wordless.

Jihyo soon unclasps her belt and slides it off. The two women climb down.

Nayeon stays still on her seat. She sees Sana’s Rover parked beside theirs, already empty.

It’s Mina who turns back to look at her, an inkling of worry on her face. “You’re not coming?”

Somehow, Nayeon’s lost the ability to speak, her throat feeling parched and her mind short-circuiting. She takes off her seatbelt and steps down, but turns towards a different direction.

Quietly, she walks back to Jeongyeon’s house.

***

Everyone is gathered in the big function room of the building, separated into groups doing different tasks to prepare for the upcoming Winter Wish Festival and Auction.

There is a familiar hustle inside the room, people moving around everywhere, songs playing to lift the mood up despite the weather—and then there’s Jeongyeon’s friends. (They honestly look like lost puppies)

Mina and Jihyo force themselves to begin the work first. After introductions with the town head—Jeongyeon’s own grandmother—they join one of the groups and begin the grind with preparing the banners to hang along the streets. Chaeyoung and Dahyun join the bunch other girls joining the auction. Tzuyu, Momo, and Sana join along the program preparations.

Chaeyoung remains sluggish all throughout the practice for the auction program, walking like a zombie when asked to and maintaining a maximum of two-word replies in every question. Before the middle-aged woman—one of the mentors—could even notice, Dahyun already swoops her way in and checks on the younger girl.

“Hey, Chaeng, what’s wrong?” She nudges Chaeyoung’s shoulder softly. They’re practicing out the spacing for the program, the mentor positioning the other girls before them.

Chaeyoung only answers up with a dazed, non-committal hum, further putting her focus somewhere else, like the tile flooring of the function hall.

Dahyun frowns in even more concern. “Is it about Jeongyeon and Nayeon unnie?”

There’s no need to ask anymore, really. The whole group is affected by the problem between the two older women despite how short the time they’ve known about each other. They just don’t admit it.

Chaeyoung’s lack of response is the reply Dahyun only needs.

The blonde-haired _tofu_ scoots closer to the younger girl, exchanging spots with Kim Jisoo, one of the _contestants_ of the auction. She takes a short, cautious glimpse at the mentor who’s still busy coaching the other girls, before turning to Chaeyoung.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong?” _Everything is._

The whole group, to be frank, feels a tad deceived. Nobody’s admitted it blatantly nor confronted the issue, but it’s there—the tension—especially when Jeongyeon reshuffled the whole group just to avoid Nayeon.

Chaeyoung’s shoulders slump. “Unnie…” her voice is wavering and Dahyun’s afraid to see Chaeyoung cry because, no matter how _tough_ she tries to be, she will always be Dahyun’s _favorite_ cub. “I’m scared.”

Dahyun inches closer, damns to hell if the mentor catches them talking and not focusing on the practice. She faces Chaeyoung and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “Scared of what? Hey…” She tugs the younger girl closer when the latter tries to look away.

“What if the group splits up because of the fight? Or, what if Nayeon unnie takes Jeongyeon unnie away from us? I don’t want that to happen, unnie.” Chaeyoung looks like she’s on the verge of breaking down.

“Hey, don’t think about things like those…” Dahyun’s afraid too, but she can’t be afraid when she’s in front of Chaeyoung. “The group won’t split up, okay? Nobody’s taking away anybody. Nayeon unnie and Jeongyeon unnie will work things out.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes are glossy with tears. Her nose is turning a shade of red, sniffing as she holds back her own tears. “But what if they don’t? And we eventually lose Nayeon unnie and Jeongyeon unnie as well? You know how unnie got when Bona unnie broke up with her.”

Dahyun vividly remembers sleepless nights and a lifeless Yoo Jeongyeon crying herself to sleep, a broken soul walking around like a zombie. It was like Jeongyeon wasn’t even there for most of the time.

“I just…” The younger girl takes a deep inhale and finally wipes away the tears staining her cheeks. “I don’t want Jeongyeon unnie to lose that happiness inside her, you know? The one she has when she’s with Nayeon unnie.”

Dahyun carefully listens— _and agrees._

“I’m not saying I don’t feel sad about what we just found out, but I don’t want to shun Nayeon unnie because of it. We have yet to know the whole story. It’s just that, I already know this won’t end good, unnie.”

Dahyun frowns. “What makes you say that?”

“Because Nayeon unnie would want Jeongyeon unnie back, but unnie won’t want to come with her because we both know how Jeongyeon unnie gets.”

Dahyun’s brows only dip further. Chaeyoung lets out a sigh. “So as long as Nayeon unnie lives the life she’s living now, the one she left behind, they’ll never be together.”

It takes an awful lot of brainpower to understand the message behind the younger woman’s words. It only hits Dahyun after a few seconds of deciphering. “Oh…”

Because Jeongyeon doesn’t— _never_ liked the attention; because the older woman _always_ loved the simple life, of privace. Because Jeongyeon believed that, if people don’t know about it, they won’t get a chance to ruin it.

The problematic realization elicits an exasperated sigh from Chaeyoung. Any trace of hopefulness— _false hopefulness,_ to be honest—dies out like an overused bulb. “What happens now then, unnie?”

Dahyun sighs herself. “We wait.” She tightens her hold around Chaeyoung’s shoulders. “Everything depends on Nayeon and Jeongyeon unnie now. It’s up to them if they want to fix it or not.”

Chaeyoung’s worried she would hear that.

***

On the other side of the room, Mina continues to side-eye every slugging movement coming from her best friend. Jihyo moved with precision, did what the elderly asked her to do, but every movement was lethargic, as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

The moment an opportunity offers itself to Mina, the latter grabs it and scoots over to Jihyo’s corner where she’s busying herself over cutting triangles with the colored paper.

“Jihyo, are you okay?” It’s a useless question but Mina still tries. She’s never been that amazing in reading people.

Jihyo, though, is not just _some_ person. “I’m okay, Minari.”

And Mina can perfectly read her. “What’s wrong? Is this about Nayeon and Jeongyeon?”

Jihyo, thankfully, doesn’t try to dodge the topic anymore. She also doesn’t answer back.

“Come on, you can tell me.” Mina prods. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I knew.”

Mina’s brows crease. “Knew what?”

“About Nayeon and Ryoma.”

That’s not a surprise anymore to Mina. It would be _impossible_ for Jihyo _not_ to know because she’s the only one in the group who has known Nayeon the longest, other than Jeongyeon. It still hurts knowing that Jihyo was part of it, but Mina understands. She always does.

“Then why did you do it?” _But sometimes, even when you know it in yourself, there’s still an aching want to hear it in word._ “Why did you lie to us?”

Jihyo’s hit rock-bottom.

_This is your fault._

_You did this._

“I just wanted both Nayeon and Jeongyeon to be happy.” The overwhelming emotions soon take a toll on her, punishing her with prickling hot tears clouding her vision. “And I knew Jeong would find out sooner or later, _I_ was planning to be the one to tell or explain, I didn’t expect it to be like this. To affect the whole group this much. I never wanted to hurt anyone.”

_This is your fault, Jihyo._

Mina tries not to show the worry in her face. This is the first time she’s seeing Jihyo cry. It’s overwhelming, to say the least. “Hey…nobody wanted to hurt anyone, Jihyo. Okay?”

“But I did.” When Mina tries to offer her a hand, Jihyo backs away. “Now Nayeon and Jeongyeon are hurting, and everyone else in the group, because of me. Because I lied.”

“You had a good intention, Jihyo.”

“And yet you’re all hurting?”

Mina frowns. “You’re hurting too.”

Jihyo, amidst her tears, lets out a dry laugh. “And that’s supposed to make everything better?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” Mina successfully takes her place beside Jihyo, wrapping an arm around the woman’s frame. “You lied, yes. We’re all hurting, yes. But think of it this way: at least the truth’s out now. There’s no hiding anymore. There’s no burdening weight pulling you down anymore.”

“That’s for now, Mina.” Jihyo sniffs. “But how about in the long run? How will this affect us all? What will happen now?”

For once, Jihyo’s the one lost.

Mina tries to help her find her way. “We wait. Let Nayeon and Jeongyeon fix their relationship first, and then we can all sit down and talk. And maybe, a few years from now, laugh about this when we’re sitting down together again.”

 _You’re too optimistic, Minari._ Jihyo doesn’t want to burst Mina’s bubble. She wipes her tears away.

“For now, stop punishing yourself. The group needs you. Nayeon and Jeongyeon need you. This doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Jihyo agrees. This doesn’t make her a bad person. Lying doesn’t make her a bad person. Hurting her two best friends doesn’t make her a bad person. Potentially ruining the whole group doesn’t make her a bad person. _It makes her a monster._

***

Jeongyeon flushes the toilet down and, as much as a normal version of her wouldn’t think of doing such a thing, watches the water swirl and get sucked into the— _whatever that thing is called_ ,

Her eyes are bloated from the crying, and she feels exhausted and stifled. Her whole home is engraved with Nayeon, a shrine unknowingly made for the beautiful, heartbreaking woman.

There are piles of Nayeon’s clothes in Jeongyeon’s clothing bin, ready to be folded together (something on Jeongyeon’s to-do list tasked to be done once they got back from the camping trip); an array of hangers hold Nayeon’s pride and dignity (her _racy_ undergarments) hanging on the tension rod of the window curtains, in proud display for Jeongyeon’s aged neighbors to see; a pair of bunny slippers and Alexander McQueen stilettos expensive enough to pay through Jeongyeon’s whole lease rest by the front door alongside her own house slippers and multipurpose and favorite white Vans; Nayeon’s expensive makeup is scattered on Jeongyeon’s bathroom counter beside a worn-out toothbrush and a battery-powered one (it’s a _her and her’s_ thing); two new mugs on the table, an excess of one more pair of spoon and fork with the initials IN on the bottom stationary in one of the mugs; _ridiculously_ expensive $300 Ten Voss shampoo bottles stand on Jeongyeon’s bathroom shelf beside her cheap ones;

Every inch of the house has Nayeon engraved on it.

Jeongyeon feels like being crushed under the four walls.

The suffocation takes a hold, makes her feel like someone’s got their hands wrapped around her neck, clenching tightly enough to possibly cut her oxygen ties. Her chest feels restricted, and Jeongyeon’s not even sure if it’s because of the suffocation or the lingering pain of remembering the way Nayeon had herself wrapped in someone else’s arms, referred to as someone else’s love.

The tears shed from earlier must have not been enough. She feels tired but apparently, not exhausted enough to stop crying.

In the middle of trying to pick up a fallen throw pillow on the carpet—the pillow Nayeon’s been using—the door behind Jeongyeon creaks and in gusts the cold, misty wind from outside.

“Jeong…?”

The timing is impeccable.

Jeongyeon freezes midway, an arm outstretched to place the pillow back on the couch.

A few hushed footsteps pad on the floor. Jeongyeon doesn’t turn to face Nayeon. She’s afraid to find out how close the other woman is.

“Can we…” It’s sad if not downright frustrated and a sigh escapes Nayeon’s lips. “Can we talk about this…please?”

Jeongyeon somehow regains the ability to be mobile again therefore she moves, uses what little is left of her stance to walk properly back to her room because this is not a conversation she thinks will end well and _god knows_ Jeongyeon just wants to fucking rest.

No steps follow behind the younger woman but Nayeon’s voice tries again. “ _Jeongyeon._ ”

Jeongyeon doesn’t stop walking. ( _God, why is her room suddenly sooo far away?_ )

“Jeongyeon. Please--…”

It must be the pent-up exhaustion or the frustration from all the walking and impeccable timing, but Jeongyeon whips her head around in a superfluously sharp way. She doesn’t mind Nayeon seeing her wet-stained cheeks or her swollen eyelids and puffed cheeks. She doesn’t mind Nayeon seeing her effect on her.

“What? What, Nayeon?” The exhaustion isn’t hidden from her tone. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Nayeon’s eyes trail towards Jeongyeon’s expression, taking in the painful sight of agony on the younger woman’s face. “I…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Nayeon. If that’s what you want to say.”

“Can you _please_ just let me explain?”

Jeongyeon would have said no, but this is not some melancholic drama. “Okay.” She fully faces the woman and leans on one leg, arms crossing over her chest. “Let me hear it.”

Nayeon did not anticipate the provoking. “Um…I…” _Where do I even begin?_ “I still love you, okay?”

_That’s a way to start it._

Jeongyeon seems to be surprised herself (she thought it was just drunken Nayeon blabbering things one night ago) but the astonishment fades away along the tensed breeze inside the room. “And that’s supposed to fix everything, Nayeon?”

“I…I don’t know how to tell you that--…”

“…that you’ve been seeing someone else? That you were just using me as what…” Jeongyeon looks for the right words. “Your escape house? Your second option?”

A normal person would settle for being someone’s escape house, a breath of fresh air. Jeongyeon doesn’t even think of entertaining the thought. She’s been Bona’s once, it was not a pleasant experience. She’s not going to stand and be someone else’s escape house again. She wants to be a _home._ Someone’s _home._

“Did you come here to hide from your crazy life? The life _you chose_ in the first place?” The pent-up emotions just continue to break down any remaining ounce of Jeongyeon’s composure. “The one you picked and gave me— _us_ —up for?”

The older woman tries to say something, but every time she does, it’s only a heavy sigh. Somehow, Nayeon feels like a teenager again, getting scolding in front of two imperious parents over a failed grade.

Jeongyeon only continues. “Does Jihyo also know about this? Did you two conspire to come up with some plan to come over here and…and destroy everything?” _Jihyo wouldn’t do that, right? Please tell me she won’t. Please tell me I’m wrong._

“ _Destroy_ _everything?_ ” Now that—that hit bullseye.

“Yes, Nayeon.” Jeongyeon wipes away her tears and looks defiantly at the older woman. “I’m kind of finding it hard to believe that Jihyo’s a part of this but then again, I thought you were a completely different person this time yet look at us now. Frankly, I don’t believe in anything anymore.”

“Jeongyeon, I…we…” Nayeon thinks, it’s better to have it all out now than to lie even more. She wouldn’t stand getting shot twice. “Jihyo--…”

“So she _is_ a part of it, huh?” _See?_ Jeongyeon won’t lie, she’s even more hurt now. “Come to think of it, _of course_ she’s part this, how else would you be able to find out where I’ve been living all this time if it weren’t for her, right? Tell me, Nayeon. What else is there to find out? Oh, I have another question. What about the ‘ _Nation’s Whore’_ title of yours?”

“What?”

Nayeon’s façade, entire protective wall, is torn down into wreckages now. It feels like she’s being shot with all of the words from Jeongyeon, but this— _this_ is the _biggest_ blow.

Jeongyeon nods. “Yeah, the honorable title they gave you. The one you’re wearing like a scarlet letter. The one you’ve proudly given up our relationship for.”

Nayeon doesn’t plan on letting herself step on the broken shards of Jeongyeon’s anger and bitterness from their past relationship. Yes, she’s mostly at fault for the awful ending of such a dulcet love affair; yes, she’s the one who cut all ties with Jeongyeon. But she did it because they were growing older and she wanted to focus on her career, and choosing her future career over Jeongyeon felt like—at that time—the wisest decision. She didn’t want to depend on Jeongyeon for the rest of their blissful lives.

“Are you still fixated on the breakup, Jeong?” It’s a little derisive, but Nayeon’s pleading tone is still there. “We’ve talked about it alre--…”

“Yes, Nayeon. I’m still fixated on the night you broke up with me because you wanted to focus on your career, a reason you couldn’t tell me in the first place. You left me like an idiot, not knowing where I went wrong. And it affected me so much, I just packed everything up and left. After nights and _nights_ of crying myself to sleep, figuring out what was with me that you didn’t want anymore, I finally realized you wanted a career with no one holding you back…”

Jeongyeon doesn’t make any effort to wipe her tears away. “Apparently, I was the one holding you back, Nayeon.” 

Nayeon wants to say no, _that’s not true, Jeong_ , but who is she kidding? That was exactly how her mind worked a few years ago. That was exactly what she was thinking of. That having to keep a relationship together is going to be unnecessary baggage when she’s in the entertainment industry.

The visualized objective of this dispute is for Nayeon’s whole issue to be brought up to light. She never planned on keeping the issue a secret forever. One way or another, Nayeon knew Jeongyeon deserved nothing but the best and that included the truth. She just didn’t think the disclosure would be this anarchic.

“Jeongyeon.” Nayeon doesn’t know how to explain herself in the words that would suffice. However, she will still try no matter how unpredictable the outcome may be. “We were young and in love, and I _loved_ you then, I did—And I still do. But it came to the point where I _really_ wanted to become a singer. I wanted to do what I’ve practically been doing all my life. I’ve been trying to fight through hell to grab an opportunity, and when it came, I had you.”

“So is this my fault now?”

“Please just let me finish.” Nayeon begs. _You need to hear me too._

Jeongyeon, with a daggering stare, melts down. “Fine.”

“I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to show the world what I’m capable of, to achieve my long-lived dreams, but when it came, I had to pick between being a singer and being with you. And _god,_ you have to believe me, Jeong”, Nayeon grunts. “ _I didn’t want to choose._ ”

And then Nayeon remembers the days she spent crying in the practice room after her managers told her to give up any personal relationship prior to debut, remembers how she dropped in the showcases because she wasn’t devoted enough in becoming an idol, remembers how they all told her she wasn’t going to make it even after sacrificing everything.

“I didn’t want to choose, and it was selfish and greedy for me to take both, but before I could even tell you that, our relationship was already falling apart. You were busy with the preparations for the graduation, always skipping out dates when I was free, and I doing the same when you wanted to meet, and we couldn’t even see each other anymore…and I just…” Nayeon lets out a _heavy_ sigh, remembering _everything._

“Out of spite and pure desperation, I chose my dreams.” The older woman no longer hides the pain, regret, and sadness in the way her tears fall down warm skin. “And I didn’t want to prolong the agony of slowly letting you go.”

Jeongyeon’s face coils into a frown. “And was dropping me like some toy the wiser decision here?”

Nayeon can’t argue with _that_. After all, it is the truth. The younger her thought that was the wiser decision. “I’m sorry, Jeongyeon. For everything.”

“And is that supposed to make it all better now? Your sorry?” Jeongyeon’s voice is thick with venom and dissatisfaction, but somewhere in there, Nayeon can feel _something._ “Is that supposed to make me believe that, for once in your life, Im Nayeon, you’re _actually_ choosing to sacrifice everything for love?”

 _After all the bullshit? Yes._ Because _this_ is the _one_ truth Nayeon doesn’t ever plan on hiding, no matter what—

“Jeong…” Nayeon takes a cautious step closer to the younger woman. “I can lose fucking everything…” and closer until she they’re inches apart. “But not you…” she searches for Jeongyeon’s hand and laces it with hers. “ _Oh god…” to be in her hold feels like home again._ “Not you…” and finally, she rests her forehead against hers. “Everything but you.”

Nayeon looks like she’s about to explode herself, this time though, of sadness and desperation. Jeongyeon’s touch is soft. She’s quivering.

The words only leave Nayeon’s lips in hushed whispers, like they’re in their own worlds. “Please believe me.” There’s a crack somewhere in her voice. “I don’t know how to love anybody else but you.”

That makes Jeongyeon look into the older woman’s eyes, vulnerably rattled now. “W-What?”

Nayeon moves away from their contact. “My heart feels like it’s designed to love only one person.” It sounds like a cliché, romantic drama script but in all reality, it _is_ really what she feels like. “Somehow, you’ve become the receiving end of that now.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t look happy nor does she look swayed—a normal Jeongyeon would have, but their situation right now is far from _normal_ —but she looks better, in a way, than before—if ‘better’ meant remaining stoic. Nayeon doesn’t take it for granted. _At least she’s listening._

“I…Ryoma, he…” _How do I explain this?_ “Ryoma likes me but I didn’t like him back. I liked him at first, but that was when I realized I was only holding on to him because he reminded me of you in so many ways. I made it clear to him that we could never happen.”

A lot is going on inside Jeongyeon’s mind right now. She feels like she’s trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle—and she absolute, for the life of her, _hates_ those things. “Then what was all the frenzy about? The media confirming rumors of you two dating? That you were here because you were living with him?”

“It’s the _media_ , Jeong. You know those bloodsucking parasites. They’re never satisfied until they dig something out from a person’s private life.”

“So are you saying that those were true?”

Nayeon groans. “Have I not made it clear earlier?

“Why are you even here, Nayeon?”

 _How can she be so dense?_ “Because I love you, Jeongyeon, and for all the shit I’ve put you through, I’m sorry. I know I still have _so_ much to make up to you, so can we please start by giving me another chance?”

There are two distinctive bells ringing inside Jeongyeon’s mind right now. There’s the warning bell blaring like a siren, telling Jeongyeon in bold, capital letters: **ABORT MISSION, WALK AWAY**! But at the other end of the spectrum are wedding bells ringing, like a full orchestra of angels singing and the gods above looking down at her, asking her: _Isn’t this what you asked for?_

 _It is._ Jeongyeon doesn’t deny it. Her heart still flutters at every contact with Im Nayeon. She feels the entire goddamn zoo go haywire in her stomach when she sees Nayeon smile. She felt her heart clench when she saw Nayeon in the arms of a different person. She felt like she was _home_ when she saw Nayeon with her own best friends, laughing together like they were the ones who’ve been friends for years.

To be with Nayeon again is what Jeongyeon asked for. _But not in this way._

“We both know by now that we’re way past impulsive decisions and reckless behavior, Nayeon.” The tone Jeongyeon uses is soft but melancholic. She _loves_ Nayeon. But she can’t do it this way.

“I love you too. Always did, always will have.” 

With that, Nayeon feels like her knees are going to melt.

“But…”

_Oh._

Jeongyeon avoids looking at Nayeon’s eyes (she’ll break if she does). “I don’t think another chance will be the answer to our— _your_ problems, Nayeon. _I_ am not the answer to your problems. I’m just a confidant you want by your side if all else fails, so that you won’t be left alone when everybody leaves and you lose everything else.”

There’s an invisible knife piercing through Nayeon’s chest. It’s painful and heavy, makes her kind of lose her balance a little and stumble back. The tears make their way to her eyes robotically.

“We’ve tried that before and look at where it got us?” There’s a dry chuckle escaping from the younger woman’s lips. She sneaks a short glance at the older woman and regrets it immediately so, the hollow, forlorn eyes looking right past her.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to succumb into your personal desires and just leave everything behind. You’ve worked your way up there and chose _that_ life, Nayeon. If you want to leave it now, it’s only fair that you end that chapter of your life without any regret.” Jeongyeon looks down again. “Imagine how hard it would be for the next person in your life to live with the burden of being _that_ mistake.”

“You’re not going to be a mistake, Jeong--…”

Jeongyeon only forces a small, sad smile. “I just…” she takes a deep breath and looks up straight into Nayeon’s brown, _longing_ orbs. “I don’t want to be the glue that pieces your mess together, Nayeon. I think it’ll be best if _you_ fix yourself first, and the mess you’ve decided to leave behind.”

“And where will that take me?” Nayeon wipes away the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Do I really not have a chance anymore?” She hears her own voice break. “Will I never see you again?”

The longing in Nayeon’s eyes is like a magnet that attracts Jeongyeon closer to her, arms soon finding themselves wrapping around trembling, sluggish shoulders, lips pressed softly against the older woman’s temple.

“This is a hug.” Jeongyeon whispers.

Nayeon snorts even with her shock at the sudden move. “Okay…?”

“And it serves as the ultimatum of this promise: we’ll meet again, Im Nayeon.” Jeongyeon hugs her a tad closer. “I’m mad at you but I won’t let you go ever again.” She presses a chaste kiss on Nayeon’s temple. “You just have to do your other end of this promise.”

Nayeon pulls back, sniffing. “And what’s that?”

“Come back to me when you’ve fixed the mess in the life _you_ chose.” Jeongyeon, with the smallest smile ever, slowly walks away, furthering the distance between them. “And then maybe, the universe will reward you with the life you _didn’t_ choose.”

***

It’s best this way, Nayeon tries to reason out.

Jihyo’s still not talking much. Jeongyeon tries. Mina, Sana, and Tzuyu help her with what they can. Nayeon hasn’t seen Chaeyoung, Momo, and Dahyun the next few days. She knows they’re avoiding her.

Her flight back to Korea is today. Jihyo is coming with her. Everything’s prepared. They leave at 3AM to avoid the media once they arrive in Seoul.

Mina, in a silk mint green pajama set, Sana, in a polkadotted black strapped sleeping gown, and Tzuyu in a hoodie and sweatpants, bid her and Jihyo goodbye, standing outside of Momo—Mina’s—mansion-turned-inn.

Once they’ve unloaded everything in the cab, Nayeon bids farewell to each of the girls (and promises to contact Mina), they step inside the cab, Jihyo maintaining her distance by sitting in the passenger’s seat.

Nayeon takes a deep inhale. Her chest feels like it’s tightening again. It’s dark outside but she knows she’ll miss Mitan. She won’t be able to get to see the Winter Wish Festival in person but maybe it’s for the best. Everyone needs some time to breathe.

For one last time, Nayeon cranes her neck and watches from the back window Mina, Sana, and Tzuyu watching the cab drive away. A small, heartbreaking smile forms on Nayeon’s lips.

_I wish I could’ve met you all in different circumstances._

She returns her gaze back to the front.

(Just in time, Jeongyeon walks out of her house in an oversized hoodie and pajamas, a worn-out bunny-printed fleece blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

“They’re gone?” She asks, turning to the three women in the neighboring house’s front yard. Sana nods.

Behind her follows Momo, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun in their own pajamas.

Mina walks over to a sad Momo, pressing a soft kiss on her girlfriend’s temple. Sana grabs Dahyun’s hand and pulls her into a one-sided hug. Tzuyu lets Chaeyoung wrap herself around her.

“They’re gone.” Mina leads the way back to her and Momo’s place.

Jeongyeon’s the last one to go back.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my prelims week and i juuuust wanted to breathe from all the studying (i only had a total of 8 hours of sleep in the last FOUR DAYS) somehow tho, i've managed to finish this?? amidst all the chaos in my schedule??? priorities. HAHAHA! 
> 
> anyhow, please do enjoy another update! tomorrow's the last day of exams sooo expect faster updates soon! haha thank you everyone!


	12. The Aftermath of Nayeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nayeon’s left before. What makes her not capable of doing it again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a brief insight on what jeongyeon has gone through and is going through :(:

_You’re high upon the towers_  
Now don’t look down  
I will be okay here  
On the ground

_Skylar Grey, Tower_

***

The moment Nayeon lands in Korea, she feels a heavy atmosphere loom around her, like a wave ready to engulf her whole. In the three hours’ worth of sitting beside each other, Jihyo’s only managed to cough out less than ten words.

It’s still some time around six in the morning, the sun barely getting the chance to peak through the tall buildings scattered all over the city. The wind is crisp and cold, piercing through the layers of Nayeon’s clothing as they wait for a cab ready to drive them home to idol’s place.

The rest of the morning is spent in deafening silence, a stillness Nayeon wants to slash through if only Jihyo’s walls weren’t made out of some indestructible force.

By the time they arrive in Nayeon’s apartment in Hannam, it’s already seven in the morning, the sun casting its rays all over the city. It’s freezing in Seoul, but Nayeon won’t deny the fact that she feels colder inside than out.

Jihyo pays the driver while Nayeon unloads their bags from the trunk. The idol, in the little amount of energy she has left, tries to bring all the bags up to the front step of her apartment building, groaning over the weight of her trunk set as well as Jihyo’s luggage.

To her fortune, the universe doesn’t fail her this time and lets her arrive at the front step in whole.

Nayeon, puffing and out of breath, taps in her passcode. The entrance doors slide open, leading to the lobby. The area itself is empty of furniture _and_ people. It’s a not a new building but Hannam Hill is for the “rich”, and those people don’t bother to go out of the comforts of their complete homes anymore. The whole place exudes wealth and sophistication. But it also radiates emptiness and lifelessness.

Expectedly, a wave of emotions fills Nayeon to the brim. Back in Mitan, the town is _always_ alive. At dawn, people would already be up. Sometimes, when Nayeon wakes up earlier than Jeongyeon, she would watch the townspeople go about their daily lives while drinking coffee near the small window in the kitchen area.

When the elevator finally stops at Nayeon’s floor—the building only has about four floors, two stories per villa and a widely used garage in the basement—the two women hurryingly gets off and walks down the hall, arriving in front of the villa’s door.

“I’ll be going now.”

Nayeon stops and turns to the woman behind her. “What?” It’s only then does she notice the absence of Jihyo’s things. _She must have left it in the lobby._

The younger woman turns around and starts making her way down the hall towards the elevator. Nayeon, in desperate want to talk shit out with her best friend, runs after her and pulls Jihyo back by the wrist.

_Pulls her back into a hug._

“Oof--…”

Jihyo’s visibly tense but slowly, she relaxes into Nayeon’s embrace.

“I know you’re blaming yourself, Jihyo.” Nayeon’s words are soft and laced with affection and sadness. “Please don’t.”

Jihyo feels like her heart is going to combust. She can’t help the overwhelming tears blurring her eyes. It’s hard trying to keep in the emotions filling her up to the brim. She’s always been amazing at keeping her composure, however, this time it feels like bottling it all up is too much a tedious task for her to handle. The moment she feels Nayeon’s hold around her, as if securing her in place, Jihyo’s whole dam and composure start breaking.

Nayeon runs a hand through Jihyo’s shoulder-length slightly-mussed hair. “I’m not mad at you. Jeongyeon’s not mad at you. No one’s mad at you. You didn’t ruin anyone. Please stop punishing yourself for something inevitable to happen.”

Jihyo’s with all the strength she has remaining, pulls away from the hug. _Damn it to hell if I look like a crying mess._ “That’s the thing…” she utters in between snuffling. “It wouldn’t have been inevitable, wouldn’t have happened, if only I didn’t think of lying in the first place.”

“What’s done is done, Hyo.” Nayeon softly runs the pad of her thumb over the tear-stained cheeks of her best friend. “We should move forward, okay? Nothing’s going to happen if you keep on condemning yourself over it.”

It’s an unfamiliar feeling when Nayeon gets to see Jihyo cry or show any trace of emotion other than stress and happiness. Jihyo never lets anyone see that she’s sad, never lets anyone see that she’s going through something.

Nayeon may be older than her, but Park Jihyo is far wiser than anybody else she knows.

“We’re going to be alright, okay?” One last fleeting touch over Jihyo’s cheeks. “Don’t worry about anything else.”

Jihyo, for the first time in the years Nayeon has known her, _actually_ looks like a child and nods with those big, affectionate eyes of hers, lips pursed in a small pout, and nose and cheeks puffy from the crying.

Nayeon smiles. “You should get some rest now. You’ll need all the strength because you’re coming with me later lunch.”

The affectionate pout on the younger woman’s face fades away, replaced by the creasing of her brows. “What’s with later lunch?”

“I have a meeting at lunch with Seohyun unnie regarding my contract and everything else.” Nayeon feels proud of herself for this. The moment they arrived in Korea, she knew she was only back to fix her mess. The moment she’s done with all this, she’s taking the first flight back to Mitan to be with Jeongyeon again. 

Jihyo looks proud herself, the confusion and dejection in her eyes replaced by something fiery, something that makes Nayeon want to hug the younger woman again (she does). 

There’s a long pause of a silence before Jihyo manages to ask awkwardly, “Did you and Jeongyeon…?”

Nayeon only smiles even more. “Yes, we did.” A brief pause, “I think…?” and then she shrugs. “I don’t know, actually.” Nayeon chuckles. “She just told me to fix my shit here first and then come see her again after.”

“That’s good, right?”

Nayeon nods with a smile. “I think it’s good.”

***

Jeongyeon doesn’t get to return to sleep anymore.

The moment she walked back into the house after being the last one to see Nayeon and Jihyo off was filled with loneliness and sadness, a hollowness forming in her heart at the lack of Nayeon’s presence. The only thing the older woman left behind was a note and her bunny-printed fleece blanket, both resting on top of Jeongyeon’s bed.

 _You know this is my favorite thing in the entire world, right?_  
Somehow, it lost to you now.  
I’ll see you soon, Jeong. 

_Love,  
you._

Sleep somehow boycotted Jeongyeon’s body despite the fact that she finds exhaustion running through her bloodstream, coursing through her veins. She feels _tired,_ but not _that_ kind of tired.

Different thoughts make their way into her attention as she stares out the floor-to-ceiling glass windows that overlook the backyard garden of Momo’s inn.

The guestrooms never looked this posh—at least, this part of the inn. (There is a specific portion of the inn—one whole floor in the east wing—where the whole group can hang and stay whenever the young ones visit.) 

With her hold around her mug of hot chocolate (courtesy of Chaeyoung) Jeongyeon turns around and inspects the room. The queen-sized bed is still comfy and white, the bedside lamps still light up a shade of warm white. Maybe—

(This, this is what Jeongyeon does to take her mind off of Nayeon.)

 _\--maybe Momo did some rearranging?_ But nothing else seems to be out of place. The whole room looks the same. It still smells like jasmine and something woody, a weird combination but just enough for comfort and relaxation to bleed into its customers. The entire wallpapers haven’t been redone; there are still patches of—

( _Nayeon’s gone.)_

There is not an inch of cobwebs or anything because Momo likes to keep the rooms clean despite it being for her friends’ use only. Jeongyeon likes that about her—

( _“I leave tomorrow morning.”)_

There’s a tiny crease on the bedsheet that catches Jeongyeon’s attention. With no hesitation, she hastily puts down her mug on one of the bedside stands and immediately moves towards the bed to fix the crease, tugging the end of the covers ever so carefully, as if measured, and running her palm over the wrinkled portion to flatten it out—

( _“I can’t go for my dreams if I have something holding me back, Jeong.”)_

One of the pillows is not aligned with the other. Jeongyeon moves around the bed to fix that. She grabs the pillow and begins thumping it with her palm, dusting it off before putting it back down on the bed and meticulously aligning it along with the other pillows—

( _“I want to do this. I want to leave.”)_

The door doesn’t look locked. _Did I lock it? I don’t think I did. I should lock it—_

( _The door slams into Jeongyeon’s face with a deafening thud)_

Jeongyeon walks over to check her door’s lock. She’s there, a few inches away from the wooden entryway, holding out her hand for the handle. Somehow though, her hold can’t find the knob. It’s trembling, and there’s something warm prickling her skin and trailing downwards… _what’s this?_

Jeongyeon moves her free hand up to her cheek to feel whatever warm thing _that_ was and figure out where the heck it’s coming from because it’s bothering. _Is the ceiling leaking now? Isn’t this supposed to be a new—_

Jeongyeon traces the pads of her fingers up on her cheek, following the trail of drops of warm liquid up to her—

“ _Oh._ ” The word leaves Jeongyeon’s lips in a heavy whisper. _Am I crying?_

In that split second, everything comes crashing down on her. The whole world feels too heavy and Jeongyeon needs some ground. She finds herself colliding with the harsh, cold tiles, grasping at nothing for something.

( _Jeongyeon was killing herself from the inside out._

_She was emotionally torturing herself while watching Nayeon get interviewed about her on-screen relationship with someone else._

_As time passed by, she learned how to control her own feelings. She learned how to show an emotionless face in front of others. She learned how to stop herself from breaking down every single night because Nayeon, once again, proved to her that she was nothing, that she was just something worth leaving behind._

_Jeongyeon grew to understand that she would always be the one who lived too attached to her past. She can’t move past the idea that Nayeon was now all in her past. Maybe that’s why it was so hard. Because whatever Nayeon did, despite the pain and the anger seething inside at every thought of the idol, of the girl who left her behind, Jeongyeon could never let Nayeon go.)_

Yoo Jeongyeon, in all her vulnerable glory, stripped naked for all her demons to feast on and for the lonely night to see, watches how _years_ of trying to fix the mess Nayeon left gets blown away in just a few weeks’ worth of company.

She watches her own _skyscraper_ , fragile as it is from all the rocks and the chaos, her own hard work, collapses right in front of her very own eyes. 

What Nayeon left wasn’t a broken heart—well, it was _one of them—_ but the real, painful impact Im Nayeon had on Jeongyeon was the younger woman’s _fear of being left again_ , the growing hollowness inside the depths of her heart that learned how to feast on the wreckages from Nayeon’s abandonment.

Jeongyeon never knew if she would be good enough for somebody else ever again.

_Nayeon left. Why would someone else stay? Something must have been so wrong with me that it was so easy for her to leave_

What could be so different now?

“Damn it…” Jeongyeon tries to compose her breathing but to no avail. Her heart only continues to move in gallops, as if in a hurry to revive her and stop itself from self-destruction. (This, this is the wreckage from Nayeon’s departure.)

“10…9…” Jeongyeon only counts in inconsistent intervals, trying to remember the advice she got from her therapist back in college. _Count down to compose yourself and your breathing._ “8…7…”

_She’s going to find someone better than you._

“6…5…” Jeongyeon holds on to the rug, fists clenching around the fabric holding it like a lifeline.

_She left you before. She left you again._

“4…3…” Jeongyeon shuts her eyes and _tries_ to focus. “2…”

_She’s not coming back._

“Jeong…?” The voice is saccharine and just in time. “Oh my god!”

Jeongyeon feels her head starting to throb and pound, like a hammer was consistently beating down on it. She could hear her own heartbeat thudding in her ears. She couldn’t breathe anymore, an invisible rope wrapping tight around her neck to cut her oxygen off.

The world is slowly blurring out of her sight, tears unstoppable as they bleed through her lenses and prickle at her skin.

Just as Jeongyeon felt like she was going to collapse fully and drown herself in the aftermath of Nayeon, arms wrap themselves around her shoulders and hold her close into the warmth of life and composure, something Jeongyeon felt was slowly slipping away from her fingers like sand.

Strands of blonde hair fall onto Jeongyeon’s face, threads getting soaked with her tear-stained cheeks. A hand meets and holds on to the side of Jeongyeon’s face. Someone’s cradling her.

Jeongyeon, for the life of her, tries to regain her hold onto the physical world again.

“…Jeong?! Oh my god! Mina! Momo! Anyone!” 

The guesthouse is enormous and it’s four in the morning. Jeongyeon internally scoffs. _N-Nobody can hear you._

“Jeongyeon?! It’s me, Satang! Come on, look at me. _Please!_ ”

Jeongyeon tries harder this time. _It’s Sana._

Slowly, with all the effort her exhausted soul can muster up, she finally opens her eyes.

“Okay, okay…” Sana frantically begins looking around. She wraps her arms around Jeongyeon tighter and slowly tries to hold the other woman up. “Come on, I’ll get you on the bed…”

Jeongyeon can only do so much and Sana drags her carefully to the bed after getting her to stand up. When they collapse on top of the white sheets, the blonde immediately searches the entire room for anything that can help with Jeongyeon’s attack.

_Nothing can._

( _“I need Nayeon.”)_

This is the first time Sana’s become the primary spectator of Jeongyeon’s attack. They’ve known about it ever since Jihyo told them of Jeongyeon seeing a therapist in college. They’ve all known about it ever since seeing Mina handle one of the attacks. But this is the first time Sana saw it in person.

Jeongyeon tries to fix herself on the bed, slowly and achingly adjusting to the comforts of the sheets. She watches Sana pace around the room before slowly settling down beside her on the bed.

“I want you to count with me, okay, Jeongie? We can do this.” Sana looks at her like a mother to her child, full of affection and all the love in the world. Under normal circumstances, Jeongyeon would have laughed at this.

Sana starts the counting and Jeongyeon only catches up on the sixth. She thinks it’s a futile effort, but halfway through, when they’re in their thirtieth, she slowly regains her breathing. They stop at the forty-second.

Sana leaves Jeongyeon for a while to grab a glass of water from the nearby kitchen area (there is one down the hall courtesy of Myoui Mina for the sake of her girlfriend’s bottomless stomach).

When she gets back, she hands the glass of water over to Jeongyeon and waits for the other woman to finish it before asking softly, “Can you tell me what happened, Jeongie?”

This is the side of Sana that everyone loves— _all sides of her are loveable, but this one, this innate ability to make everyone feel at home and loved, is by far Jeongyeon’s favorite._

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, but please do know that I will be sleeping _here_ for the night because I cannot afford to leave you all alone by yourself ever again especially--…”

Jeongyeon sighs. “Nayeon.”

Sana’s babbling halts. She turns to the other woman. “What?”

They meet eyes for a split second before Jeongyeon turns and looks down, feeling guilty for worrying her best friend. “I...I was thinking about…Nayeon…”

Silence meets the two women and for a moment, Jeongyeon takes a short glance at Sana again, worried that she might’ve annoyed the blonde one away because of her attack. To her surprise, she becomes the receiving end of a smolderingly affectionate look from the woman, as if longing for her to continue whatever she is trying to say.

“She left…”

Jeongyeon, for the lack of better word, only speaks in riddles and trailing answers. _Thankfully,_ Sana is the most patient person to ever grace humankind.

“And I’m scared.”

That seems to be enough for the blonde woman because suddenly, Jeongyeon’s engulfed in a hug again and Sana’s running her fingers through Jeongyeon’s locks. It’s annoying but somehow calming at the same time.

“Why are you afraid?”

_Why am I afraid?_

A thousand reasons begin running inside Jeongyeon’s mind.

_Nayeon can find someone better._

_She can actually realize what she deserves and it’s not me._

_I can’t give her anything better than the life she already has._

_I’m a nobody._

_She can have everything she wants and I can’t give her that._

“She might never come back again.”

Sana’s eyes search Jeongyeon’s face a little longer, for something. _Something._ All she sees is pain and dejection, and fear striking. That’s enough to send her spiraling into a sympathetic mess. “Aw, Jeongyeonnie…”

There’s a specific type of pain that’s clenching Jeongyeon’s heart right now. It’s not the _she-broke-up-with-me_ type of pain. It’s the one that’s full of fear, of anxiety, the one that’s clawing its way up to her heart, destroying everything that gets in its way.

“Nayeon…she…” It takes a lot of willpower for Jeongyeon to manage any word. Every term that leaves her lips end up guttural and barely coherent. “She dreams big and does big things. I’m…too trivial for her.”

The frown on Sana’s face is easy enough an indication for Jeongyeon to expound. 

“The whole world is at her feet, Satang.”

(Sana’s heart breaks when she hears that crack in Jeongyeon’s voice)

“People throw themselves at her every chance they get. She’s at a level way above there”, Jeongyeon gestures and stretches her arm up. “And I’m just…” she drops them back to the bed with an exasperated sigh. “…here.”

Tears yet again find themselves pooling in her eyes.

“I just…” the realization that she’s crying only comes when Jeongyeon feels out breath again. “Nayeon’s the type to dream big and do everything to achieve those dreams. She lives the life everyone would kill for, makes billions out of her job. The whole world is at her pedestal. I’m just nobody. I work as an underpaid cashier lady in a desolate grocery store. I can’t even pay my bills and feed myself.”

_Everything is shit when it comes to my life._

Jeongyeon looks down. “I can’t give her what she wants, what she _deserves._ But I _always_ give in when it comes to her. My mind works in a different way when it comes to her. I told myself before that…that I won’t do _this_ again! But…but here I am…” Jeongyeon takes a deep breath. “…doing this again.”

“Jeong…”

When Sana tries to reach out, despite her abhorrence of showing her vulnerability to others, Jeongyeon relents and savors the comfort Sana’s hug brings. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way…” the blonde woman whispers and continues to stroke Jeongyeon’s locks softly. It’s weird but it’s working.

Jeongyeon pulls away and scoffs, wiping off her tears. “I know”, she lets out a mocking snort, derisive. “I’m an anxious bitch.”

Sana frowns. “No you’re not, Jeongyeonnie.”

Jeongyeon expects pity in Sana’s eyes, but all she sees is concern and ache, as if the blonde woman is can feel right through her pain.

“I am.” But Jeongyeon just wants to make things clear here. “Nayeon’s left before. What makes her not capable of doing it again?”

_Behold, the aftermath of Nayeon._

Sana spends a good minute trying to formulate something to say. She ends up with nothing.

Jeongyeon lets out a dry laugh at that. “You won’t understand, Satang.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you’re in the same place as Nayeon…as Mina, as Tzuyu.” Jeongyeon doesn’t want to hurt Sana’s feelings, but the truth can sometimes hurt—and _this_ is the truth. “You won’t understand how being _us_ feels like. What being Dahyun, Momo, Chaeyoung, and Jeongyeon feel like.”

Sana wants to ask _what is that supposed to mean,_ but even if her brain works a different way, it doesn’t take much to understand. (All she wants—and doesn’t want, as well—is to hear the actual words come from Jeongyeon)

“If I’m in the same place, then this must be what Nayeon also feels like and wants to tell you...” Sana doesn’t let it get to her though. Jeongyeon has a point, but Sana wants Jeongyeon to understand _this_ too.

“The whole world might be in her— _our_ —pedestal but Jeongyeon, it gets lonely too.”

Unlike Mina, a professional ballerina and a full-time tabloid _heiress_ or Tzuyu, a _supermodel_ who has graced magazines with her face a number of times more than the writer can ever count, Sana lives the less publicly-exhibited life. Being a writer meant having popular works but not living the _celebrity_ life, per se. Despite this, Sana still knows what being a human display feels like—and it’s not fun.

“I didn’t know this until lately so I never really got to the thinking of sharing it with you, but Im Nayeon has been a household name in the company.” _It’s only time I try to explain to her this now._

“Every beginning of the year, the company releases a _dating_ news.”

“Yes, I know that…” Jeongyeon only tilts her head, confused of where the conversation is heading.

“Anyway, the editors and board get a specific crew to follow some intriguing idols or famous people, in general, and gather information about them. After a year—though some take _years_ —the crew provides the board with enough, for the lack of better word, _tea_ on those people. The board then meets up with their respective company heads to bid or basically, pay for confidentiality. Whichever company loses or bids the lowest gets their idol’s life and career ruined.”

Jeongyeon only frowns in distaste as she continues to listen.

Sana takes a deep breath. _To hell with leaking this information. Jeongyeon deserves to know._ “There are special cases though, albeit not _rare_ enough, where companies intentionally sabotage their talent’s career.” _Jeongyeon needs to understand this too._ “Nayeon was one of the unfortunate targets the company saw. She was a challenge because she had a career overflowing with controversies but there wasn’t a single issue that would get the company its pay because her issues weren’t _unforeseen_.” 

“So, the crew followed her everywhere, anytime, anyplace. She lived a lonely life, Jeongyeon. That’s for sure.” Sana remembers the pictures of Nayeon that took up an entire wall in one of the conference rooms of the office. It was weird seeing it all. It was _scary_ but most of all, it was _sad._

“When the crew saw an opportunity, they attacked. Nayeon was apparently trying to fake a relationship to get out of her company. Said company didn’t like it and so they slowly leaked fake information regarding the relationship. The last straw was when Nayeon filed the paperwork to terminate her contract. That was when the company had an ‘ _insider’_ confirm the leaked info. That’s all it took, the go signal for the crew to finish their _investigation_ and have me write the article.”

“So…Nayeon’s own company sabotaged her?”

Sana sighs and nods. The guilt begins creeping up in her system, of all the moments she could have done something but never did anything. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t help her, Jeong. I didn’t know. If I did, I would have tried to do something.”

Jeongyeon’s too taken aback to even think of any response.

Sana is not yet done though.

“The life you think she has, Jeongyeonnie…” she trails off with dismay laced in her tone. “It’s not the life she lives. It’s not the life _we_ live. The life there? It’s lonely. People kiss your ass and put you up on a shrine to be worshipped, but you’re all alone up there. And yes, the fame and the money can be deceiving, and at one point, it’ll be enough, but life isn’t always consistent, isn’t it? What’s it for when you have no one to share it with? When you go home alone every night, sleepless and exhausted, to a house that isn’t even a _home_ but just a place to sleep in, if time even permits, or to stay at for a while until there’s another job to do?”

_The normal pray for fame and glory, because it feels like life is not worth living without those, but those with fame and glory pray for normality, for a life less lonely._

“Jeongyeon, you have to believe me when I tell you this:” Sana smiles a little, eyes glistening with affection for the other woman, words heavy and sincere. “Nayeon already has everything. She won’t need anything more but you. You may think that you’re worth nothing to her, but to Nayeon, I’m sure as hell you’re worth _everything_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you all have to listen to Tower. the song basically sums up jeongyeon's entire sentiments regarding her and nayeon's situation. it's where i based the whole chapter off as well haha :D 
> 
> also, this chapter wasnt supposed to posted because i felt like it was lacking in sooo many ways. It was hard to write because i reaaally wanted to explain jeongyeon's side in-depth, but idk i dont think i did it well? im not good with this HAHA sorry :(( i posted this because i just really wanted to put a highlight on jeongyeon's (secret) side. 
> 
> Pls still enjoy it nonetheless


	13. She's Back, Bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the mere thought of Jeongyeon waiting for her a thousand miles away, optimism begins riveting inside the idol’s system. She takes her fork and begins elegantly eating her foie gras, or fattened duck liver in normal people terminologies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, back to fluff (i think?) Also, this is mostly self-indulgent haha i just had to let it out

This is the first time Nayeon makes an official public appearance after a long time under the radar in Japan, therefore it’s only expected that she prepares pedantically for this arrival even if it’s just stepping out of a car and walking a few steps into some fancy restaurant.

Now that she’s back in her apartment, the idol-turned-actress has more options to style herself with. A variety of Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin’s for her heels, Fendi, Balenciaga, and even _s_ treet-style _couture_ waiting to wrap themselves around her body, and some subtle-but-million-dollar jewelry to finish things off.

Nayeon’s not going to lie. To be the center of attention again is riveting, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she takes one last look at the outcome of almost three hours styling herself in her walk-in closet.

“Hmm…” Nayeon hums as she runs a hand through her wavy, freshly blow-dried locks and inspects herself in front of the body mirror. She takes her time—at least ten minutes just staring at herself in the mirror—and concludes with a smug snort, “Yep. I’m gonna slay this.”

Park Jihyo though, in her Mercedes waiting outside of Nayeon’s apartment, looking totally rad in her white blazer and white office jumpsuit, hair flowing down gracefully on square shoulders, knocks Nayeon’s shit-eating grin out in one greeting,

“You look like a grandma.”

Her grin is wiped out in a second, replaced by an upset frown. “Ya.” She hops inside Jihyo’s Benz. “I literally just helped you out with your guilt earlier and this is how you repay me? By insulting my fashion sense?”

Jihyo rolls her eyes as she backs the driveway. “This is your first public appearance and you choose to dress like that?” She casts a playful disappointed glance at the older woman before turning focusing back on the road. “Is this what being with Jeongyeon has done to you? I actually expected Chewie’s fashion sense to rub off on you, or even Mina’s, but I am _totally_ disa--…”

“Okay, first of all”, Nayeon interjects with a defensive snap, craning her body to face Jihyo from her seat. “This is Fendi. You dare insult Fendi, Park Jihyo?”

“Fendi for Senior Citizens?”

“Okay, that’s harsh.” Nayeon hisses as she slumps back down on her seat and straps the seatbelt. “Also, I _do not_ have to dress for the cameras. I only dress for myself and I don’t need--…”

“Whatever, Nayeon.” Jihyo cuts with a sigh. “Just make sure that’s what you want to be seen wearing when you grace the front pages of _every_ online news portals and social media sites.”

That’s where their ridiculing ends. Jihyo focuses on navigating through the mild Seoul traffic smoothly and effortlessly, everything Nayeon isn’t as practically glues her chin to her chest, sandwiching her double chin, picking on the lowermost button of her brown Fendi long-sleeve cardigan and the safety pin that’s holding her black loose pants together from falling down and ending her already-ending career.

_(Okay, maybe the pants weren’t a good idea…)_

***

They arrive in front of an upscale French restaurant, a Michelin-star judging from what Nayeon can see on the outside. At the side of the two entrance doors is a floor-to-ceiling glass panel window showcasing the affluence from inside the restaurant. On a normal occasion, this would be the type of place where Nayeon would be spotted casually dining at on a daily basis—not that she’s boasting…

Jihyo parks the Benz a few cars away from the entrance of the restaurant where media cameras and reporters are already waiting at.

“How did they know we’re going to be here?” Nayeon begins fretting as she unclasps her seatbelt and touches up in front of the car’s vanity mirror.

Jihyo turns off the engine. “I think Seohyun unnie contacted some media people for publicity. It’s part of the _Nayeon’s Back, Bitches_ campaign.”

Nayeon laughs a little at that and eases the stiffness in her stomach. She takes a look at the crowd again and takes a deep inhale. “How are we going to get through that, though? We don’t have any security to--…”

“This is Jihyo?” Jihyo’s voice cuts through Nayeon’s fretting. The older woman turns to her best friend and quiets down to listen to the phone conversation. “Unnie, we’re outside now…uhuh, okay. Bye.”

Nayeon frowns. “Who was that?” But her query is left unreciprocated when Jihyo opens the compartment in between the passenger’s and the driver’s seats and pulls out a pair of Ray-Ban shades. She hands it over to the idol, “You’re going to need that,” before pulling out her own pair in the compartment above her head.

She slides it over the bridge of her nose so casually and effortlessly, Nayeon scoffs. “You looked so cool doing that, Ji.”

“Doing what?” Jihyo grabs her Balenciaga from the backseat.

“Wearing your shades. You looked cool for a second there.” Nayeon’s lips form a lopsided smirk. “Until you pulled out your mom bag.”

Jihyo rolls her eyes. _We’re not done with the disrespecting yet?_ “At least I don’t look like a grandma.”

Nayeon doesn’t have any comeback to that, so she only frowns like a defeated child before turning back to the crowd a few steps away, the same crowd that is now up on its feet, following a group of big men in fitted black shirts walking their way down to Jihyo’s car.

“Are those--?”

Jihyo unlocks her doors. “Look nice, okay?” She opens her door. “And _please_ don’t act like a grandma.”

Nayeon nods to that and takes a deep inhale to compose herself first before opening her door and slowly stepping out.

It only takes a millisecond before her face is soon bombarded by blinding flashes of cameras, questions and voices are thrown at her from every direction, and the big security men form a protective circle around her small frame. Everyone’s trying to throw themselves at her and even the security men are unintentionally bumping into her because of the pandemonium.

_Okay, I’m officially back to reality…_

By the time they arrive in front the restaurant, half of the staff are already waiting by the doors ready to open them for Nayeon and close for the media. Once the idol gets to step inside, the managers and other security bouncers shut the doors close and stand behind it to cover the view inside.

Nayeon lets out the longest breath she has ever kept her entire life. “Oh my god…” _that was insane._

Jihyo stands before her, leaning the weight of her body unequally on one foot, Balenciaga dangling on one forearm. “That took longer than I expected…”

“Don’t even start, Jihyo.” Nayeon hisses and grabs the expensive flute of water offered to her by one of the waiters. She chugs down the content in one go. “Apart from the myriad of cons being a celebrity brings, disrespectful media and attention will _always_ be the top contender.”

Jihyo lets out a snort. “It comes with the career, Nayeon.”

Nayeon, unfortunately, can only agree.

The two women are greeted by another woman, a middle-aged one in a blazer and a pencil skirt, looking all neat and manager-y. “Good afternoon, ladies. Please follow me.”

Jihyo and Nayeon follow the woman through the opposite side of the restaurant, away from the tables where normal affluent customers dine at. They enter area with unoccupied tables and pass through it, arriving down a narrow, dim-lit hallway that soon leads to another door, this time a wooden one.

“Ms. Seo is waiting.” The woman whispers with a smile and soon turns the knob, pushing the door open and revealing a private dining area much like a conference room but smaller and better furnished. The walls are checkered wood art with two chandeliers hanging above a four-seat table.

Seo Juhyun, or Seohyun as Jihyo and Nayeon prefer to call her, waits in one of the leather seats, figure prim and sat straightly, a champagne flute in hand.

It’s been quite some time since Nayeon last saw the older woman but Seohyun hasn’t changed a bit. She stands up to greet the two, putting on full display her more laidback attire: a white oversized button-up tucked inside acid-wash ripped jeans and a pair of black stilettos.

Nayeon jabs Jihyo by the rib. “See? You’re the one who’s overdressed...” She walks away from Jihyo before the latter could even come up with a snide comeback, and proceeds to move towards Seohyun to embrace her _unnie_.

Jihyo only rolls her eyes for the nth time, clearly patient but tired of the childishness. She follows behind Nayeon closely, greeting Seohyun with her own hug. “It’s nice to see you again, unnie.”

Seohyun smiles fondly at the two younger women before ushering them to their seats. They order first—Nayeon just goes along with whatever Jihyo ordered because she can’t really understand the menu with all its French names—before beginning the supposed _meeting._

“So, French, unnie?” Jihyo fixes the napkin on her lap. She fixes Nayeon’s too. “I didn’t know you liked eating European cuisine.”

Seohyun chuckles. “I don’t”, she pours Jihyo and Nayeon some Chateau Latour before handing both flutes over to them carefully. “The Sous-chef is a friend.”

They exchange a warm welcoming conversation in the middle of nibbling on the appetizers, waiting for the main dish. Once the waiters arrive with their food—langoustines imported from Brittany, Duck, Foie Gras, and prime quality Korean beef—the women begin talking about the important stuff.

“How was Japan, Nayeonnie?” Seohyun takes in a fork of Korean beef.

Nayeon smiles widely. “It was _amazing,_ unnie.” Heavenly bliss laces every inch of her tone. “As soon as I’m done here, I’m packing everything up and moving there.”

That gets both Jihyo and Seohyun’s attention, the women simultaneously uttering in a disconcertingly taken-aback tone, “You are?”

It’s only then does Nayeon realize how out-of-the-blue she just blurted _that_ out. “Yes, actually…” She sheepishly fiddles with the button of her Fendi cardigan again. “I was considering the idea earlier, while preparing. I thought, my career’s already heading towards its end and I don’t really plan on staying in the industry for long, so why not just pack up and move to Japan to live with Jeongyeon?”

Jihyo is taken aback but not entirely shocked. “Are you sure about that?” It comes off a little abrasive, so she adds, “I mean, have you considered Jeongyeon’s take on this?”

Nayeon shrugs. “I’m still deciding on it, Hyo. I’m not packing my bags yet.” She fakes an off-handed chuckle to shrug the tension off but Jihyo and Seohyun can see right through her. “And besides”, she takes a small sip from her Chateau Latour and puts the flute down. “I still have to finish my contract with the company and all my business here before I can leave.” _I promised that to Jeongyeon._

At the mere thought of Jeongyeon waiting for her a thousand miles away, optimism begins riveting inside the idol’s system. She takes her fork and begins _elegantly_ eating her foie gras, or fattened duck liver in normal people terminologies.

“So, the contract, unnie…” Jihyo begins, chewing her roasted Duck. “How is it going?”

Seohyun puts down her fork and reaches on to the other chair beside her seat where her black Prada shoulder bag rests. She opens the bag and pulls out a folder, the same folder Nayeon remembers seeing during the last time she saw Seohyun.

She already knows what’s inside it.

“All throughout the period when you were in Japan, I went through the contract thoroughly and even had my associates look through it and try to look for any loopholes that can be used for our benefit…” Seohyun opens the folder and slides it over to the two younger women across her. “Unfortunately, we couldn’t find anything.”

Nayeon remains stoic. She’s not going to lie; she didn’t expect anything to happen from the start. She may not be the smartes person in the world, but the legal team of Byeol Entertainment is as good as it gets, especially when it comes to their talents and their money.

She grabs the folder slid over to her and reads through the highlighted portion together with Jihyo.

****

**_3A. Termination of Contract may be negotiable every end of the year however not assured will completely be pushed through._ **

“What’s this, unnie?” Jihyo questions first.

Seohyun takes another bite of her beef. She finishes it with a sip of her Chateau Latour. “It means, your contract, as of the moment, is not negotiable. We can’t make ends meet, that’s the only option now— _make ends meet._ You have to wait out until the end of the month. I’ve already set up a meeting date and--…?”

“Wait, what do you mean _end of the year?_ You mean, end of December?” Nayeon frowns.

Seohyun nods. “I apologize for prolonging the agony, Nayeon. We have no option.”

There are a thousand of questions and objections running in Nayeon’s mind right now. How can she tolerate the distress of being tied down to her insufferable company for a few more weeks? What if this all goes to waste and the company decides not to accept the termination?

“Unnie…”

Jihyo scowls. “Does this mean Nayeon still has to do her schedules?”

The tone is recognizable enough for Seohyun to feel the guilt inside her stomach, clenching her guts. She tried to negotiate with the legal team and even brought in her own team, but the safest option is to wait out until the end of the year.

“I’m really sorry, Nayeonnie.” The lawyer grabs the folder again and places it to the side. She grabs Nayeon’s idle hand on the table and holds it tight as if comforting her. “For what it’s worth, you only have one schedule left to cap off the year. I’ve consulted it with your managers and tried to think of a way to convert this as an advantage to us.”

Nayeon’s disappointed frown slowly fades away and morphs into a perplexed one. “What’s my schedule?” She turns to Jihyo for an answer—it’s an instinct by now—but Jihyo only replies to her with a shrug.

Seohyun answers, “It’s a two-episode guesting on Hello Counselor, a Holidays special”, and explains furthermore, “I figured we can use it as an opportunity to clarify things regarding your relationship. It’s your first TV appearance ever since your hiatus. I’m sure Lee Youngja-ssi will ask you plenty of questions regarding it.”

“If we only need an opportunity to clarify Nayeon’s part, why not just schedule a conference? Wouldn’t that be easier and more organized?” Jihyo thinks this is not a good idea, guesting on this show. It is one thing to have the media all up your ass but it’s a _whole different level_ of impudence when it comes to guesting on shows, specifically variety ones.

Talk show hosts know no shame when they interrogate their guests. The worst types are those who _don’t_ stick to the script, pretending they know better by coming up with adlibs and drilling their guests. (Nayeon _absolutely_ detests them)

“I’m still considering the option of conducting a conference _after_ the guesting. I’m sure there will be a _lot_ of questions after the show.” Seohyun finishes her plate and wipes her lips with the fine linen napkin. “If you’re really going to leave the industry, then it’s only appropriate if you close this chapter with a decent goodbye.”

Nayeon only hums non-committedly. Jihyo turns to her with a puzzled little frown. “Are you really considering to leave idol life? The entertainment industry?” She doesn’t mean to question Nayeon’s life decisions, no. All Jihyo wants to clarify here is her best friend’s certainty with the idea. Nayeon’s always been a closeted indecisive woman.

Nayeon, though, is sure of it already, more than she has ever been sure of anything in her entire life (Other than the other certainty she has, the one where she’s _sure_ she’s willing to give everything up for a life with Jeongyeon)

“Yes. I _really_ am considering it, Ji.”

Seohyun only exchanges her glance between the two, watching and taking careful observation of their conversation. Nayeon’s conviction is not overlooked. Frankly, it astonishes the lawyer because she’s also well-informed of the idol’s tendencies and Nayeon being so sure of something is not a normal occurence.

_This Jeongyeon girl must really be someone, huh…_

“What will you do there, then?” The question just slips off of the older woman’s lips. She means well but her tone just doesn’t. “Don’t get me wrong, Nayeonnie. I’m just wondering. If you’re considering the idea then you must have a plan, right? I know you have enough money to last your whole life, but you’re going to have to consider Jeongyeon’s side now. That’s a whole different topic.”

Im Nayeon’s reputation may be a contentious topic, but the controversy has its perks too— _kind of._ Controversy leads to attention, and attention leads to money.

Nayeon simply has the innate ability to lure a person, maybe that’s why they call her the Nation’s Whore. People just _love_ the dangerous feeling of siding with the daring. Despite everything, Nayeon’s bank account only continues thrive, as if her entire closet, her seven-billion won apartment, her Maserati (and her pending purchase of the 2019 Range Rover because Mina’s clearly caught her fancy), and her entire assets are not enough.

However, to think of Jeongyeon’s side is a different matter. Everyone knows Jeongyeon can be quite the stubborn who doesn’t want her pride getting hurt. After all, it’s the only thing she has left—aside from the mountain of bills she has yet to pay.

(Mina, Sana, and even Tzuyu have offered to help her pay the bills, but Jeongyeon’s pride is a firm as Nayeon’s narcissism—it’s hard to break down.)

Jihyo must be wondering the exact same thing because she turns to look at the idol with the same curious expression plastered on her face.

Nayeon is flustered. “Well, uh… I can help with Momo’s inn…? Or maybe--…”

“Oh my god, are you gonna start farming now, Im Nayeon?” Jihyo lets out an incredulous huff.

“I won’t start farming, that’s for sure”, the idol scoffs indignantly. “But I am _considering_ growing some plants or something…”

Jihyo and Seohyun only glance at each other in disbelief. Nayeon finds the exchange of expressions wounding. She lets out a dramatic gasp, feigning offense. “Wow, is it _that_ hard to believe that I’m actually willing to live a normal life now?”

“It’s not that, Nayeonnie. It’s just surprising, that’s all.” Seohyun chuckles a little. “I’m proud of you for trying to change your life perhaps, for the better?”

Jihyo smiles and takes Nayeon’s hand on the table. She holds it tight. “I am too, Nayeon. I’m really happy for you.”

Nayeon feels her heart combust with a myriad of emotions, most of which are genuine gratitude and happiness. “Thank you, unnie and you too, Ji. That means a lot.”

_Without these two women, I wouldn’t be moving forward right now. I wouldn’t be this strong._

The tensed atmosphere becomes lighthearted. Seohyun and Jihyo only look at Nayeon fondly, proud.

Jihyo grabs her champagne flute and raises it in the air, offering a toast. “To Nayeon’s happiness!”

Seohyun smiles widely. “To Nayeonnie’s happiness.”

They toast to that.

***

Practices are cancelled for the day.

Jeongyeon _honestly_ thinks there is no reason to practice because what are they even practicing for? The way they walk up to the stage? This is not a beauty pageant. And besides, the only reason why she’s in the auction anyway is because Nayeon set her up in it. Other than that, she would’ve easily bailed.

So, practices are cancelled for the day. And Jeongyeon celebrates.

By taking Chaeyoung, Dahyun, and Momo with her to the appliances store in the neighboring town’s mall.

“What are we doing here, unnie?” Chaeyoung is the first to wonder as she follows closely behind Jeongyeon. Nobody cares to ask aside from her because Momo’s too busy watching the cartoon show on the flat screen TVs for sale and Dahyun’s inquiring about a toaster.

“After careful consideration and _a lot_ of thinking…” Jeongyeon walks back to the aisle where they left Momo. “I’ve thought of buying a TV.”

Her house did lack one, resulting in her antiquated life. Jeongyeon barely has any knowledge of what’s happening in the world outside of Mitan. She’s buying a TV for that and definitely not because she wants to catch up on everything related to Nayeon’s celebrity life. No, it’s _absolutely_ not because of _that._

“Is this because of Nayeon un--…”

“NO!” Jeongyeon halts in her steps, making the younger girl collide onto her back with a huff.

Jeongyeon turns to face Chaeyoung. “I am _not_ buying a television set for the purpose of Nayeon updates. I am buying because I want to know what’s happening with the world. I am a _concerned_ human and I want nothing but--…”

Chaeyoung massages the bridge of nose, afraid she dislocated it because of the collision. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, unnie.”

Jeongyeon chooses to ignore the young one and proceeds to check each price of the television sets. This is another bad idea, she can confirm that. Her paycheck barely pays her bills; it was kind of an impulsive move for her to consider buying a TV. This is why she’s trying— _trying_ —to look for the cheapest model but to her wallet’s dismay, the cheapest so far is at 50,070 yen which is around 545,000 won.

_Bad move, Yoo._

When one of the store clerks approaches them, Jeongyeon asks for some help. Thankfully, the man—who looks young enough to be around the same age as Jeongyeon—understands and guides them to another aisle.

He stops in front of a 40-inch LED TV—with the price of 50,000 yen.

“That’s the cheapest model you have?” Jeongyeon mopes in dismay. She barely has enough money to pay half the price.

The store clerk—who’s been eyeing them suspiciously the entire time—clicks his tongue in a judgemental manner that completely throws off Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung. “We don’t really sell Jurassic television sets, ma’am. If you’re looking to purchase those types then I suggest you go to a garage sale or a trading center.”

Jeongyeon, at the _very least_ , is not amused. Still, she _tries_ to be patient with this disparaging man. “What are the ranges of the screen sizes available?” _Maybe if I get the smallest then it’ll be cheaper?_

“40 to 146 inches, but if you’re looking for the one that suits your budget, then I suggest the trading center, ma’am.”

 _Okay, that cuts it._ “Excuse me, I’m--…”

“We’ll take The Wall.”

All three heads peer over to the voice belonging to the one and only Hirai Momo.

The store clerk is clearly flabbergasted, choking in his own breath. “ _The Wall_?”

Momo’s already pulling out her wallet, a move Jeongyeon _rarely_ sees (because Momo _never_ pays for anything unless it’s food and it’s _her_ food—because she has a _Myoui Mina_ as a girlfriend). “Yes, we’ll be getting that.”

Jeongyeon is lost, though. “The what?”

The judgmental store clerk starts walking away to get the papers, leaving the dumbfounded Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung in Momo’s company.

“The Wall.” The Japanese woman answers and begins walking towards the aisle she was watching at. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung follow behind her.

They stop in front of a TV— _the size of a fucking wall._

“What the fuck?” Jeongyeon is out of words. It’s _146 inches big._

Momo is already on the phone with someone Chaeyoung guesses is Mina. “Yes, Minari? I’m going to have to take a little from the account, can I? It’s for Jeongie…Yeah? Okay. Bye. Love you too.” She turns to the two still-dumbfounded women with a big ass shit-eating grin. “Yep, we’re getting that.”

Her smile is _so_ innocent, Jeongyeon cannot. “I can’t afford that, Momo.” She hisses under her breath. _I can barely afford the 40-inch one, how the hell will I be able to—_

“That’s why Mina and I will be paying for it.” Momo’s already pulling out a black card _—is that the Centurion Card?_

Jeongyeon stops her midway. “No, Momo. I can’t let you and Mina do that. It’s _too_ much.”

Momo removes Jeongyeon’s hand away. “Then pretend that it’s for the inn but instead, we’ll be putting it in your living room…”

The store clerk returns and asks the three women to follow him to the counter.

Jeongyeon and Momo continue to argue.

“I’m not charity, Momo.”

Momo giggles. “I know, Jeongie.”

“I won’t accept this.” Jeongyeon is stubborn, as usual. “The idea that it’s for the inn is _so_ stup--…”

Momo sighs. “Consider it as an advance bridal gift then.” They arrive at the counter and still, Jeongyeon tries to stop Momo from signing the papers but to her dismay, fails because the woman’s signature is like chicken scratch that only takes one whole stroke of a pen.

The store clerk grabs the papers and makes his way back to a different room to do the purchase.

Dahyun returns just in time with a cute purple toaster in hand and a big smile on her face, “I’ll also buy this please.” She places the toaster on the counter and turns to her two bantering friends, bewildered with their frowns.

“What’s happening?” The blonde tofu whispers to the grinning Chaeyoung beside her, enjoying the show in front.

“Momo unnie bought Jeongyeon unnie a TV.”

That’s enough an answer for Dahyun to accept. Everyone knows Jeongyeon is stubborn and doesn’t accept help from people unless deemed _completely_ necessary. “Did you buy anything?”

“Still thinking. Maybe I’ll just draw them a portrait or paint something.” Chaeyoung turns to the humming blonde woman focused on counting the paper bills she’s pulling out of her wallet. “What did you get?”

Dahyun smiles widely. “I got them a toaster.” She purses her lips towards the purple toaster being placed in a box. “I bought it out of a whim because it’s _cute_ but I heard Momo unnie mentioning a bridal gift so I might as well consider it that.”

Chaeyoung only laughs. They’re getting way too ahead of their selves with this _Nayeon unnie and Jeongyeon unnie are getting back together_ thing that they all collectively planned to buy the two “ _Congratulations on Reuniting Again”_ gifts (all Momo, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun’s idea because they’re also sorry for getting upset with Nayeon and not properly sending her off) the moment Jeongyeon told them about reconciling with the older woman.

After a few minutes of bantering, Jeongyeon _finally_ gives in (she has no choice, Momo’s already signed the papers). The appliance will be delivered and set up in her _ridiculously_ out-of-place crowded living room later this day.

_(This is definitely not because of Nayeon.)_

On their walk back to the parking area where Mina’s Rover is, Dahyun remembers something.

“Oh, unnie!” She turns to Jeongyeon who’s already rounding the Rover to open the door of the driver’s seat. “I forgot to tell you guys something.”

“What?” Momo steps inside the car, on the passenger’s seat. Chaeyoung and Dahyun sit at the back.

The blonde tofu squeezes herself in the space between the two front seats. “I overheard something during the practice yesterday.”

“What is it?” Jeongyeon starts the car and glances over at Dahyun through the rearview mirror.

“Two new intel, actually…” Dahyun trails off. “First, everyone knows who Nayeon unnie is now, thanks to the news about her at the airport.” Jeongyeon lets out an exasperated sigh, not surprised. “Second, Bona unnie dropped out of the auction.”

That’s what catches the three women’s attention. They all turn their heads towards Dahyun.”What?” It’s Momo who asks.

“Wait, when was this?” Chaeyoung is clearly confused because _she_ didn’t hear anything like that.

“During the water break. You went to the bathroom, remember?”

 _Ah…_ she recalls now.

“Why did she drop out?” Jeongyeon is completely perplexed.

Momo’s mind is somewhere off though, whispering behind, “…She was in the auction?”

“I don’t know why. I didn’t hear, unnie.” Dahyun pouts, unable to hear Momo’s wondering. “But I’m guessing it has something to do with you?”

“What? Why? What does it have to do with me?”

“Because I forgot to tell you this, I was just _so exhausted_ from the practice yesterday and Nayeon unnie’s departure kind of took the forefront of my mind--…”

“What is it, Dahyun?” Jeongyeon cuts before the blonde starts blabbering.

“She told me to tell you to meet her. I don’t know when, she didn’t tell me any specific time or date, but I’m guessing before the auction…?”

Jeongyeon, with a confused grimace and an exasperated exhale, begins driving out of the parking space. _What are you up to, Kim Jiyeon?_

“If it’s Bona unnie, then it means no good.” Chaeyoung frowns, slumping back on her seat with her arms crossed over her chest like a defeated child. “Nayeon unnie needs to come back as soon as possible! Bona unnie will get in the way of this love story!”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at the childishness (but deep down, she also wishes for Nayeon to come back _as soon as possible)_

***

Their lunch meeting concludes with a plate of Grand Marnier soufflé and a variety of ice creams flavors. Nayeon, and her discreet fascination of wine, buys another bottle of the Chateau Latour, and Jihyo makes sure to keep an eye on the idol’s intake.

Seohyun, after a lengthy debate, pays for the bill, and the two women begin finishing up. Jihyo leaves first to get her Benz and park it in the VIP parking of the restaurant (“Why didn’t you tell me they had those?” Nayeon deadpans. Seohyun chuckles. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”)

While waiting for Jihyo’s call and the security’s go-signal, Nayeon suddenly remembers, “By the way, unnie, when’s the filming for the episode?”

Seohyun looks up from her compact. “If I’m not mistaken, it’s this Friday until Sunday.”

Nayeon checks the calendar on her phone. She’s stopped checking ever since Japan, so she’s doesn’t really know what the date is on those—

The whole suddenly stops.

Nayeon fervently blinks and looks closer, as if that’ll change the dates on her calendar. “ _This_ _coming_ Friday to Sunday, unnie?”

Seohyun, unfortunately, nods. She notices the distraught frown on the idol’s face, probing her worry. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Nayeon gulps. “The Winter Wish Festival starts this Friday.” 

“What’s the _Winter Wish Festival_?” Nayeon’s too dumbfounded to answer.

“Whatever it is, you can’t bail on the filming, Nayeon.” Seohyun sighs.

The lighthearted atmosphere drops in a nanosecond, replaced by an increasingly staggered one. “I can’t miss out on the festival, unnie. Jeongyeon’s going to be there and I also have--…”

“I don’t think we can reschedule anymore, Nayeon. And it’s only better if we finish this as soon as possible so you don’t have to suffer any longer.” Seohyun feels bad herself, but this is the more practical decision here. “Just think of it this way, this guesting is your last obstacle. After this, I’ll handle everything else. You can jet off to Japan as soon as you finish your schedule.”

Nayeon is _seriously_ so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the alternative title to this is: 
> 
> Bona's Back, Bitches
> 
> HAHAHAHA


	14. Welcome Home, Jeongyeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s the second night in a row where Yoo Jeongyeon finds herself awake at 11:43 in the evening, inside a quiet, lonely house, specifically in an untidy living room, staring at a bare wall, with an utterly, impulsive, and never-good idea in mind.

There’s a sad, _sad_ bare space taking up an entire wall in Jeongyeon‘s living room. She’s staring at it carefully, meticulously looking at rips on wallpaper and holes from drywall hanging nails. Picture frames formerly occupiers of said space are haphazardly placed on the floor alongside a few lining paper fragments.

On the other side of the room are boxes containing sixteen tiles of the modular television Momo recently bought for her, and screws and toolboxes left by the installation team that will work on setting up The Wall™.

The disorder in her already-crampy living room is causing frustration of mythical proportions to Jeongyeon, who could only watch as random men began trashing around her home earlier that day, leaving trails of their shambles everywhere. She couldn’t do anything about it, her soul and her mind couldn’t just co-exist together.

Something, somewhere, or someone is pulling her away from her ground, driving Jeongyeon _mad._

On a normal day she would have complained about the disorder of her house, but today is not a normal day. Not when Momo just bought her a 296-inch television set when all she wanted was a working TV; Not when Dahyun just told her Bona dropped out of the auction—a _totally not_ Bona thing to do; Not when thoughts of unfinished businesses with her _two exes_ are currently causing another kind of disarray in her mind; and most especially not when she just received news of Bona jetting off to Korea for some _personal_ reason (information courtesy of Bona’s younger, kinder sister, Dayoung), naturally setting off Jeongyeon’s _holy shit this is not good_ warning bells.

So yes, it’s _not_ a normal day. And yes, it’s the second night in a row where Yoo Jeongyeon finds herself awake at 11:43 in the evening, inside a quiet, lonely house, specifically in an untidy living room, staring at a bare wall, with an _utterly,_ impulsive, and never-good idea in mind.

The rational side of Jeongyeon, the one percentile of her mind as of the moment, is telling her not to push through such madness, but the other complementing 99% side of her is _shouting_ at her to book her one-way ticket to more self-havoc.

Of course, naturally, the 99% side wins.

And that portion of Jeongyeon’s impulsive reasoning naturally grabs the phone and dials an emergency contact. On the first ring, the 1% rational side comes up with reasons to stop Jeongyeon from continuing her pursuits, it goes on until the third ring, and Jeongyeon _finally_ snaps out of her recklessness. Sadly, the call is picked up already.

“ _Hello?_ ”

The familiar voice is one that Jeongyeon hasn’t heard in _months._ “Unnie…?”

There’s a short pause on the other line. “ _Jeongyeonnie?”_

That elicits a small smile and a sigh of relief from Jeongyeon. _She still remembers me._

_“Is something going on? Are you okay?”_

Ever since Jeongyeon decided to move away from home after graduating college, contact with her family has gradually evolved from promised video calls every week, to phone calls every month, until nothing at all anymore. When Jeongyeon cut off all ties with the social media world, she never knew anything anymore except for the occasional times she bumps into her grandma who updates her about her own family every now and then.

If not for the updates, Jeongyeon wouldn’t have found out that Seoyeon is already married and Seungyeon is already a drama actress.

“I’m okay, unnie…”

There’s an outbreath heard from the other end. “Are you home?”

_“Uh, yeah. Just got off a CF shoot.”_

The sound of awkwardness in Seungyeon’s tone makes Jeongyeon guilty for being the reason behind it. If only she didn’t lose contact with her sisters and parents, there wouldn’t be this heavy tension in the air between them.

For Seungyeon to feel this way makes Jeongyeon feel more infuriated at herself; they used to two hips attached together, inseparable. Seoyeon and Jeongyeon’s wider gap in age made their relationship more restrained, but Seungyeon was always there for the younger woman. Jeongyeon was her favorite. _Was._

“ _Hey, Jeong…?”_

Jeongyeon’s reverie is cut short. Her words come out a little too rushed and desperate. “Yes, unnie?”

“ _Are you okay there? Do you need anything?_

Her excitement over Seungyeon calling her so casually fizzles to nothingness. “…What?”

 _“I mean, you called all of a sudden.”_ Jeongyeon can imagine Seungyeon shrugging her shoulders. _“Is something wrong?”_

Jeongyeon brushes away her pride and shame for this _one_ miniscule wish. “I actually want to ask a favor from you, unnie…”

 _“What is it?”_ Seungyeon must be exhausted from filming her commercials and her dramas, her entire schedule in general, but here she is, accommodating her always Missing-In-Action sister. Jeongyeon wants to cry.

“Could you book me a ticket?”

There’s a long, tensed pause exchanged between the two. _Seungyeon must be so angry I’m calling shamelessly like this and asking her for a favor. What kind of a sister would do that—_

“ _Do you need hotel accommodations?”_

Seungyeon is _honestly_ a fucking angel for this but, “No, unnie. I’m good. Just a two-way ticket, please.”

Seungyeon hums. “ _Okay then… where to?”_

Jeongyeon can hear typing sounds from the other end of the line. “Uh, home.”

 _“Uhuh, okay. To home—what?”_ The abrupt shock in Seungyeon’s tone causes Jeongyeon’s heart to beat out of its normal pace.

 _Oh God, here it comes…_ “Y-Yes, unnie. I…uh…”

“ _You’re going home? As in,_ our _home?”_

 _Technically, it’s only mom and dad’s house now since they’re the only ones living there as of the moment, but okay…_ “Yeah…?”

The pause Seungyeon takes is long enough for Jeongyeon to consider hanging up with a broken heart. It’s only natural for it to be hard to go back to their old ways like nothing happened at all—like Jeongyeon didn’t cut off everyone including them, like nothing happened and they’re still the same old Yoo sisters, angels in front of their parents but cynical spawns of Satan on the inside (except Seoyeon. Seoyeon’s actually nice).

“Unnie…?”

 _“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I was just…out of words…”_ The surprise in Seungyeon’s tone makes Jeongyeon smile a little. At least Seungyeon hasn’t changed entirely.

” _Are you really…going home?”_

Jeongyeon answers surely and without a hint of hesitation. “Yes.”

Seungyeon manages to take a deep breath—clearly heard from the call—before answering quite gleefully, _“Okay then! When do you want me to schedule the flight?”_

The 1% rationality must have given up by now because this is Jeongyeon’s 99% recklessness side speaking on behalf of her. “Tonight, unnie.” She looks at the bare wall in front of her again and remembers both Bona and Nayeon. “I want to leave tonight.”

***

The recklessness only sinks in when Jeongyeon’s already hauling a big duffel bag on her back, waiting outside of Momo’s inn’s front porch because it’s already twelve in the morning and the backdoor they ordinarily use has an annoying alarm that rings whenever someone enters the code and gets in. Jeongyeon doesn’t want to interrupt the girls’ slumber hence her decision to call the only rational person in their group (aside from Jihyo), Mina.

It takes a few minutes in the penetrating coldness before the one of the tall, wooden doors open, revealing an elegantly tousled Myoui Mina, clad in a silk sleeping robe and face still marked with traces of interrupted sleep.

“Unnie?” Mina’s voice is guttural but coherently confused by Jeongyeon’s sudden presence in front of her. She looks at the older woman from top to bottom. “Why are you dressed like that?”

It is only understandable why the girls are already asleep especially this early and why Mina’s confused at Jeongyeon clearly not doing the same. Tomorrow is the beginning of the Winter Wish Festival and everyone wants to look their best even if the auction will be held on the last day.

The sight of Mina in all her human glory (because she’s not human, she’s God’s Favorite) makes Jeongyeon feel guilt-ridden again. Mina must have been exhausted from the day’s work (being Momo’s girlfriend is hard work alone) yet here she is, interrupting the God’s Favorite’s well-deserved sleep.

Jeongyeon can’t be blamed though (well, she can and she _is_ to be blamed for this impulsiveness, but that’s not the point). Her heart’s beating out of its cadence and the release of epinephrine in her system is _way out of control_ but this is her body’s defense mechanism to the stress, alongside her blabbering in one breathing,

“I haven’t had any sleep in the last forty-eight hours or less, and your girlfriend bought me a 296-inch TV when all I asked for was a simple, working one. I don’t know but I think she used your emergency card for it. Chaeyoung and Dahyun are completely _in_ the 2Yeon Support Team or whatever they call it, and Dubu just told me Bona dropped off the auction and wanted to talk to me. Dayoung told me her sister left for Korea earlier this day, and I’m worried, anxious, and _totally freaking out_ because my gut is telling me Bona’s going to harass Nayeon there and I don’t want that to happen. So here I am, right now, totally winging everything because I _haven’t had any sleep_ in the last forty-eight hours—or less—and I’m telling you all of this because I’ve already harassed Sana with my thoughts last night and aside from Jihyo, you’re the only sane one in our group. Tzuyu can be sane too but she’s still a kid and I don’t to trouble and overwhelm her with my problems but hey! I don’t want to overwhelm you too, I just thought maybe you should know and perhaps relay the message to everybody else because I don’t want to—…”

Jeongyeon doesn’t realize she’s said all 213 words (would’ve been more) in one breathing until Mina cuts through in a dumbfounded outbreath, “Woah, unnie… _breathe._ ”

The older woman does so and takes a deep breath to calm her rushing nerves down.

Mina’s more awake now, and compared to Jeongyeon’s anxiousness, is always more calm and collected especially when she asks, “Could you tell me where you’re going first?”

Jeongyeon wants to hit her head on a wall. She has articulated all unnecessary details of her incompetence as a human being and yet forgot the one important, essential point of her ranting.

“Uh…Seoul?”

Mina’s jaw drops. “As in…Seoul, Korea?”

Everyone in the group knows about Jeongyeon’s lacking connection with the place. She’s the type of person to discreetly hold grudges on inanimate or nonconcrete things, and Seoul is proof of it. After Nayeon, after everything, Jeongyeon packed up her whole life and moved to Japan. She hasn’t travelled back to Korea ever since then, and it has been around six years. 

So it’s only shocking to find out, in the middle of the night, that Jeongyeon is flying back to Korea.

“Yes?” _Is there any other place of the same name?_

Jeongyeon expects the worse from this scenario. She doesn’t know _what_ kind of worse she can expect from God’s Favorite, Myoui Mina, because that woman is incapable of inflicting any kind of intentional pain or stress on anyone, but Jeongyeon is simply just freaking out.

To her utter surprise, another testament to Mina being God’s Favorite, Mina only lets out a big, proud smile before pulling Jeongyeon close into a hug. “I’m so happy for you, unnie.”

Jeongyeon pulls away from the hug, bewildered. “Huh…?”

Mina only continues smiling with utter admiration, as if Jeongyeon’s solved all the problems of the world. “One step at a time, unnie. You’re doing great. We’re proud of you.”

It means so much and Jeongyeon’s about to cry because Mina’s looking at her with so much admiration and it’s also _so_ cold outside her eyes are about to dry out.

“I’m taking your flight is tonight?”

Jeongyeon nods. “Uhuh…”

“Do you want me to book you a hotel there? Or maybe I can offer you my place in Myeongdeong?”

As tempting as the offer is—Mina owns more than five apartments all around Korea—Jeongyeon decides to decline it this time. “I’m actually going to stay at my parents’…?”

“Oh, wow”, Mina’s smile only grows wider. “That’s…that’s _really_ amazing, unnie.”

“Yeah…thanks…” Jeongyeon doesn’t know what to say now. “I…have to go…? My flight is at 2am and I still have to check in.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Mina gives her one last hug before walking her down the porch of the inn. “I’ll take care of everything here, don’t worry. Enjoy your trip, okay?”

Jeongyeon looks back at Mina as she walks away. “I’ll try.” It leaves her lips in a breathless whisper, fizzling out into the cold wintertime breeze. Mina watches her off as she saunters away to the bus stop where she’ll wait for her cab to airport.

_I’ll try, Mina._

Here’s to Jeongyeon being reckless again, trusting her heart all over again.

***

Nayeon’s night ends utterly boringly. She settles down on cold sheets, engulfed by the wallowing feeling of hollowness and seclusion in her own apartment.

It’s her first official night back in Seoul and it feels completely unfamiliar to her now despite the fact that she's spent nights like this for the past six years, and not the nights where she’s drunk on Dahyun and Chaeyoung trashing Jeongyeon’s living room with their speakers (“It’s DJ DubChaeng in the house!”) or Momo bringing some five-star snack buffet over to Jeongyeon’s kitchen courtesy of the inn’s world-class chef (“I’m not going to wait for you guys!”).

She’s only had nights like those for a few weeks and yet it feels like she’s known the girls for so long and has spent every ending night and waking day with them.

Without the nightly ruckus and the sweet scent of world-class snacking, Nayeon settles down after a hard day rather gloomily. She drags her body across the cold wooden-paneling floors and doesn’t even mind walking around bare face when she passes by the bathroom sluggishly.

“Are you already going to sleep?”

Nayeon only lets out a groan. As if her night couldn’t get any worse, here she is, face to face with her manager again, the ever-so forthright and people-smart Kim Yubin.

She would have been more surprised at the visit if she didn’t remember the obligatory exchange of extra keys and passcodes to the company and her managers.

“Hello to you too, unnie.” Nayeon walks past the older woman and prepares her a coffee. In contrast to some people’s coffee beliefs, the drink actually helps calm her nerves down and make her feel sleepy.

Yubin makes herself comfortable on Nayeon’s upholstered sofa, crossing her leg on top of the other and spreading out her arms on the edge of the backrest. She looks just as intimidating as Nayeon left her to be.

“Did the company send you over here?”

“Oh darling, you know the answer to that by now.”

Nayeon rolls her eyes. Of course, Yubin’s vague yet blunt answers are also back.

The smell of brewing coffee calms the idol’s nerves down a little. She grabs a banana and turns to her manager, leaning back on the granite kitchen island. “What’s the sudden visit for?”

Now that the company has complete hold of her (only until this filming ends, that is), Nayeon only expects the complete worst from everything. She’s sure the company will use this opportunity to ruin her.

“Contrary to what I expected from the company, they actually decided that all you need for tomorrow is some conditioning.” The disappointment in Yubin’s tone is satirical, Nayeon scoffs. “They could have completely exploited you but no, they want to send you off to your Pilates instructor for some conditioning in time for the filming.”

Nayeon finishes her banana and throws off the wrapping into the trash bin. “So I’ll just have to show up for the classes tomorrow?”

Yubin huffs incredulously. “Not entirely, dear.” She stands up from the sofa and moves over to the brewing coffee, pulling its plug.

Nayeon’s eyes widen. “Hey! What are you—…”

“Other than the classes, you’re not allowed to eat anything besides half a cup of rice for breakfast and half an apple for lunch. So no coffee for you, missy. That banana’s already 23 grams of carbs which is equivalent to half a cup of rice. That was your dinner already.”

“Wha--…”

Yubin trudges her way to the refrigerator to grab some soju. “I just came here to relay that information.” She settles down on the living room sofa again, turning on the TV.

Nayeon can only find herself staring in disbelief at her manager. Yubin is not an annoying person; she’s actually a great manager. The company has no control on her because she’s her own person, but a job is a job, and when things get rough, Yubin results to her strict “parenting” skills to discipline Nayeon—she’s much like that perfectionist mother in dramas.

Sometimes, Nayeon can’t blame her. It takes a lot of power to hold someone like Im Nayeon down.

(And besides, Yubin may be a complete bitch but she lets Nayeon get away with things. Hopefully, that hasn’t changed.)

Like a defeated child, Nayeon finds herself stomping her way back to her room. Knowing Yubin, she won’t leave until she sees and confirms Nayeon is already asleep.

Nayeon can only let out a grumble. She has a _bad_ feeling tomorrow is going to be a _long,_ exhausting day.

***

The second time her recklessness and irrationality does sink in, Yoo Jeongyeon already finds herself standing in the middle of a slightly teeming baggage reclaim area at Gimpo. It’s when she sees her egregious duffel bag coming to light amidst sea of expensive luggage and travel carriers, does she only realize _this is fucking it._ There’s no turning back now. ( _I don’t have the money to)_

It’s around two in the morning already but Gimpo is still alive with its incoming and outgoing flights, business people arriving from their expensive trips and tourists picking the _wrong_ time to arrive.

Jeongyeon grabs her bag from the conveyor belt and heads out, turning to the ignited signs for directions to the arrival area where she’ll grab a taxi at.

As she follows the arrow to the designated arrival area, Jeongyeon furrows her brows and focuses at her phone, checking it for anything she missed—she doubts the presence of anything though. It’s like, almost three in the morning.

Speaking of time, Jeongyeon is _worn out._ Her irrationality—which has only sunken in a few minutes ago—has made her completely convinced now that she is essentially _drunk-driving_ her own life, making reckless decisions just for the sake of deciding. Without any sleep in the last forty- _what_ hours, Jeongyeon feels like her whole body is running on a five-percent battery life.

“Jeongyeonnie…?”

Now she’s even more convinced, she’s losing it. The lack of accountability for herself and her body is taking a toll on her cognizance. She’s hallucinating, hearing things.

Someone is calling out her name and Jeongyeon doesn’t know whether she’s going to freak the fuck out or remain entirely calm because it’d be humiliating for the crowd to see her lose her shit.

Jeongyeon decides to remain “calm”. Five percent battery life doesn’t necessarily entitle her any right to freak out.

“Jeongyeon!” The voice, though, does get louder.

For the sake of her sanity—or insanity, you name it—Jeongyeon follows the voice’s direction, stopping in her steps and looking around from her position.

It’s a sea of strangers in Gimpo, and Jeongyeon doesn’t have _the best_ eyesight. Nevertheless she tries, narrows her eyes as if it would result to a better visualization of her surroundings.

“Jeongyeon!”

In one swift move, Jeongyeon turns to her… _east west? I don’t know…_ and sees it—or her, whatever. The better part of Jeongyeon stays glued on her place though, narrowing her eyes a little more to get a better look because it would be embarrassing if she walked towards a total stranger.

In the end, it’s the other party who clarifies things for the younger woman.

It only takes a few seconds before Jeongyeon finds herself wrapped inside warm, coat-clad arms, the familiar scent of the secret perfume fabric mist she uses while everybody else completely assumes the older woman uses some kind of expensive perfume.

“Unnie…” The feeling of _home?_ hits Jeongyeon like an iceberg. It’s all too overwhelming, but the feeling of being in Seungyeon’s embrace again is all that matters for now.

She can feel her sister’s smile against her cheek. The sound of Seungyeon’s whisper sends chills down Jeongyeon’s spine. “I missed you so much.”

They stay like that, in an all-encompassing welcoming hug, in the middle of the crowded airport, not bothering to pull away from each other because it’ll only feel like they’re miles apart again. Jeongyeon can’t blame Seungyeon.

When they do untangle themselves from each other, Seungyeon is already grabbing Jeongyeon’s things—it’s only a duffel bag—and locking Jeongyeon’s hold with her other free hand.

“Come on now, you must be exhausted.”

Jeongyeon lets out a loud sigh, only partially compensating for her overall fatigue. Somehow, being in Seungyeon’s presence is enough to feel like she’s home again.

They make their way to the airport’s parking lot, marching through Seoul’s intense wintertime. Seungyeon, always the ahead of her younger sister, prepared Jeongyeon a coat because of course, _Jeongyeon forgot._

When they stop in front of a row of vehicles, Seungyeon pulls out her keys from one of her coat’s pocket and presses the button, instantly connecting signals with some car by the end of the row’s lot, headlights flickering with the unlocking of the doors.

The moment they reach the vehicle, Seungyeon treads over to the backseat to place Jeongyeon’s things inside whilst the latter remains rooted in her place, jaw dropping.

“Seriously?!” Jeongyeon feels _betrayed_. “A Porsche!?”

Seungyeon lets out a laugh at the expected reaction from her younger sister. She circles around the black Porsche Panamera and makes a grand gesture of shrugging her shoulders, feigning innocence. “Sorry, sis.”

A Porsche was Jeongyeon’s absolute dream car ever since she knew of its existence way back as a kid, fangirling over cars together with her father. She and Seungyeon made a promise to each other that they would buy their first Porsches together, at the same time. 

“I needed a ride”, Seungyeon continues to apologize half-heartedly as she revs up the sports car’s _amazing_ engine, watching with a big smile as Jeongyeon gushes over the interior details of the Porsche.

They exit the airport’s parking area and navigate through Seoul’s 3AM quiet streets.

Jeongyeon finds herself closing her eyes and just settling down on the leather seats, letting the heater of the car calm her senses down.

_She’s home._

“I’ll let you stay at my place for the night, Jeongyeonnie…”

Jeongyeon opens her eyes. “Your place?”

Seungyeon nods, eyes still on the road. “It’s nearer and more convenient, and besides, I don’t have anyone there and it gets lonely.” She does her best pout but it only earns her a huff from her younger sister.

“Where are eomma and appa?”

“They’re away in Jeju. Appa’s attending a European cuisine convention.”

Jeongyeon suddenly feels disappointed but more at herself. She should’ve known the idea of coming back without any notice wouldn’t be a good idea. Although she had left and maintained little to no contact at all, she still anticipated for her parents’ presence. She was, after all, still their little girl.

The silence looming in the air gets Seungyeon to glance worryingly over at her younger sister’s direction. “Hey, it’s okay…” She grabs Jeongyeon’s hand from her lap and holds it tight. “They’ll be back the day after tomorrow. For the meantime, you owe me _a lot_ of catching up to do.”

Jeongyeon glances at her older sister and clenches her hold tighter. Seungyeon’s smile and overall company is enough for now. “Okay…” She lets out a chortle. “You owe me _a lot_ of tea too.”

Seungyeon fakes a gasp. “Me? Owe you?” She laughs. “Okay, okay, and how do I pay all my debts then?”

“Hmm…” Jeongyeon thinks. “You can start by giving me free food and a tour of whatever dumpsite it is that you consider your _place_.”

It’s a joke and Seungyeon takes it. They laugh at each other for the whole duration of the smooth ride.

***

Jeongyeon feels wronged, in all aspects of the word. Seungyeon’s place _is_ a dumpsite—if you consider a villa in UN Village a _dumpsite._

“I’m sorry it’s messy”, Seungyeon huffs as she takes off her coat and hangs it on the coatrack near the front entrance. “I just moved in last week and I didn’t have any time to unpack.”

Jeongyeon only nods noncommittedly, looking around the place.

Despite the boxes haphazardly scattered _everywhere_ , the apartment itself is big and spacious, with nice wooden panel flooring and warm white wallpapers. Parallel to the front door is one whole window taking up an entire wall and two sliding doors beside it, leading to what looks like an unkempt garden. Knowing her sister and Seungyeon’s _love_ for gardening, the yard will be beautiful in no time.

“Does this mean…” Jeongyeon turns to look at her sister who’s trying her best to move a few boxes away to clear the living room area. “You also don’t have food yet?”

To her fortune, Seungyeon only huffs incredulously. “Me? Not have any food? Oh, Jeongyeonnie. Your travelling must have affected your thinking so bad…” she makes her way to the two-panel refrigerator and opens it wide, showing off her organized containers stacked on top of the other, her soju collection and some sodas, plus _lots_ of biscuits and other snacks.

Jeongyeon laughs. “So you didn’t have any time to fix your entire place up, but you had time to perfectly organize your fridge?” She walks over to the kitchen to grab a biscuit just for the sake of filling up her stomach.

Seungyeon only rolls her eyes at her sister’s mocking. It’s completely understandable how Seungyeon favors food more than cleaning up everything else. Being a neat-freak runs in their blood, but somehow, it only applies for food organizing to the older Yoo.

“Do you want me to make you some tteokbokki?” 

As much as the offer sounds tempting, Jeongyeon declines it. “Thank you, unnie, but I’m good. You should rest. It’s already…” she turns to the clock by the pillar—at least Seungyeon had time to put one up. “Almost four. I bet you’re exhausted yourself.”

Seungyeon sighs. “I am.” She moves towards Jeongyeon, who finds herself seated on one of the barstools by the kitchen island. “But you’re back. Welcoming you home is my top priority.”

The sudden change in the atmosphere is partially awkward for Jeongyeon, who was never good in dealing with sentimentality, but Seungyeon’s genuineness and grand show of affection to her youngest sister is also too heartwarming, Jeongyeon can’t help but feel sincere bliss more than unfamiliarity.

“But I bet you have a schedule tomorrow, unnie. You should rest.” That doesn’t make her immune to awkwardly responses though. Jeongyeon hops off the stool and grabs her duffel bag. “We should both rest.”

Seungyeon feels defeated and instead, shows her sister the way to one of the three bedrooms the villa offers. It only consists of a bed though. “Do you want to sleep at my room? It’s almost furnished there, and the bed already has sheets so--…”

Jeongyeon walks in the room and places her bag on the floor, plopping down on the coverless bed. “I’m good here, unnie.”

The mattress is puffy and has springs, not entirely the most comfortable mattress Jeongyeon’s ever lied down on, but this is enough. Living by herself, only barely able to pay through bills and survive in general, has taught her that to have is enough.

“Are you sure?” Seungyeon walks in and places the duffel bag by the built-in vanity area the room offered. “We’re not that old to not sleep together. You’re still my _dongsaeng._ ”

Jeongyeon laughs a little. She sits back up and feels the mattress by her palm. “Stop fretting, unnie. I’m good here. And as much as I’d want to sleep in your room with you, you snore…loudly. I want some sleep too.”

“Ya!”

The two share a good laugh together, enabling Seungyeon a moment to takes a good look at her sister. It’s been years since she last saw the woman physically, and the weight Jeongyeon has lost isn’t really concealed by the layers of her clothing.

Jeongyeon’s lost the puffiness in her cheeks, the cute baby fat they used to tease her with. There are circles under her eyes, and somehow…Seungyeon can see hollowness in those brown orbs that used to be a galaxy of hope and happiness.

As tempting as it is to strike a conversation and find out who is the cause of this drastic change, Seungyeon shuts her mouth and saves it for next time. All that matters now is that Jeongyeon’s here. Her baby sister’s home.

“Hey…”

Jeongyeon stops her laughing, wiping nonexistent tears beside her eyes. “What?”

Seungyeon takes the space on the bed beside the younger woman. “I can call my manager now and reschedule all my activities for tomorrow…” there might be a _mountain_ of CFs to film, meetings to attend, and a script reading for a new drama, but Jeongyeon’s what’s important. Everything comes second to her. “Do you want some sisterly bonding? We can drive through town and maybe visit Seoyeon unnie? You can finally meet their new puppies there.”

Seungyeon’s enthusiasm is endearing and infectious, but Jeongyeon’s eagerness to finish all personal matters is a wall impossible to break down. “About that unnie…I actually have something to do tomorrow already…”

“Oh…” the enthusiasm pops like a balloon. Jeongyeon feels so bad for declining. “May I ask where you’re going to? Maybe I can drive you there or ask my manager to.”

“Um…” _would she remember Nayeon? Of course, unnie would! Jeongyeon, why are you such a pabo!?_ “I have to visit someone.”

“Who?”

Jeongyeon prays Seungyeon’s gotten over her resentment towards her sister’s ex. “Uh…Nayeon…?”

She expects Seungyeon to abruptly stand up and throw things at her, or anywhere, just to let out her shock and frustration over the mention of Nayeon’s name. When word got out and Nayeon left their baby sister, the Yoo family—specifically the Yoo Sisters, specifically Seungyeon—vowed resentment towards Nayeon, or whoever would hurt anyone in their family in general.

It’s no surprise already when the small smile gracing Seungyeon’s lips gradually fade away. “Nayeon?”

Her mention of Nayeon’s name is heavy, as if a thousand other questions lie behind it. Jeongyeon’s suspicions are only confirmed when Seungyeon asks right after, “Are you two seeing each other again?”

Jeongyeon’s exhausted and beat, but somehow, this conversation is just attracting her to respond. “We…reconnected?” Although the conviction in her voice doesn’t sound to assuring.

“Uhuh…Nayeon, the same girl who left you to become an idol?”

Now there’s no way she can defend Nayeon in that argument. All she does is nod back.

Seungyeon gives that disapproving look at her sister; the all-too-wise Yoo Seungyeon observing the franticness in her sister’s face. Legend says, if you look at Jeongyeon’s face for long, you’re bound to find your answer from her expressions alone.

“Please don’t get mad, unnie.” _That’s it._ Jeongyeon internally pats herself at the back. Begging, her last defense mechanism and a good attack at Seungyeon’s leniency and softness whenever it’s about her. “Nayeon and I…we’re trying to…”

“To make it work again?”

Jeongyeon shyly nods and looks away. She feels her cheeks heat up at admitting it out loud.

When she turns back towards her sister, Seungyeon’s frown is already gone. It takes a fraction of a second before a small smile replaces the frown. “Are you sure about this, Jeongyeonnie?” _There it is, the cooing voice she uses._ Jeongyeon smiles triumphantly inside.

“I…I am, unnie.”

“She’s a famous person. You’re an average loser. Do you think it’ll work out?”

Jeongyeon frowns this time. “Really?” She deadpans. “You just had to ruin the moment?”

Seungyeon laughs hysterically. “I’m sorry, I just had to.” She holds her stomach tight, laughing to no end until Jeongyeon joins her. When they do stop the laughter, Seungyeon speaks again this time, more earnestly.

“If you’re sure about it, then go ahead. You’re not a kid anymore for us to hold you back.” Seungyeon runs her fingers through her sister’s locks, all tousled from bed. “But just so you know, Seoyeon and I are here for you every step of the way. I don’t want you doing the same mistake twice and going through the pain by yourself.” She ruffles Jeongyeon’s hair again. “Now that you’re home, nobody gets to hurt you anymore.”

Jeongyeon only looks at her sister’s eyes, oblivious to the salty waters blurring her own and soon trickling down, betraying her. She ends up tackling Seungyeon down on the bed, pulling her with her bear hug.

In more ways than one, Jeongyeon’s never felt this _home_ and welcomed in all her entire existence ever since leaving Korea. Although there are _a lot_ of things to accomplish and more obstacles to face, somehow, having Seungyeon with her again makes her heart feel at ease.

It’s easier to deal with everything now that she has her sister with her.

***

It’s four-something in the morning when Jeongyeon remembers another thing.

“Unnie?”

They’re both still awake. “Yes?”

“I remembered something. I need your help again.”

Seungyeon shifts on the bed, turning to her younger sister. “What is it?”

“I need you to find someone for me.”

The frown on Seungyeon’s face is _priceless._ “How can I possibly help you with that?”

“You’re rich and famous!”

Seungyeon laughs uneasily. “Uhuh, I don’t think you completely understand the difference between just getting by and being _Asian_ rich. I’m not rich, Jeongie. I’m just earning a lot from what I do.”

“Exactly. Rich.” Jeongyeon answers. “And besides, you have all the connection. Didn’t you date that police guy from a few years ago? Maybe you can ask for his help!”

“Ya!”

“ _Please, unnie!”_ Jeongyeon begs and uses that tone again. Of course, as expected it works.

“Fine.” Seungyeon grumbles. “Who do you want me to find?”

“It’s a woman named Kim Jiyeon. But she goes by Bona usually.”

Seungyeon looks at her sister skeptically. “Who’s this Bona? Does she have anything to do with you and Nayeon?”

Jeongyeon doesn’t answer. Again, the silence is enough for Seungyeon to erupt into a fit of laughter. “Oh my God! Is she your ex!?”

“Unnie! Shh!”

***

(“Oh, about Nayeon…I want to meet her again before you guys elope, okay?”

“Unnie!” Jeongyeon feels her cheeks warm up again. _Oh my God, why is she like this?_

Seungyeon faces Jeongyeon on the bed. They’ve decided to sleep together in this godawful, coverless mattress. “Maybe introduce her to the family again. You know how unnie, eomma, and appa don’t quite… _like_ her after what she did to you. Imagine their initial shock if they suddenly receive invites to your wedding.”

“UNNIE!”

Seungyeon laughs. “What?” She shrugs her shoulders, feigning innocence once again. _What an actress._ “Oh, by the way, she’s just my neighbor, you know?”

That gets Jeongyeon’s attention. “What?”

Seungyeon giggles. “Yeah, she lives in the next block, at Hannam the Hill.”

“Wow, who else do you live here with?”

“No one else important. “ Seungyeon shrugs her shoulders. “Oh, PSY lives just next door.”

The two end up laughing hysterically again.

 _This is home._ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didnt know where to get inspiration to write the remaining chapters *cue in the crying* but somehow, i've gotten it and now i'm updating hehe also, this was really fun writing because i dont have any sister and i've always wanted one sooo including Seungyeon in the picture was the source of my happiness


	15. The Ends of her Spectrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Nayeon wished for a thrilling end to her night after an agonizingly strenuous day, she didn’t mean this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for maria, because she is suuuch an amazing person :)

The bell on the front desk has been chiming non-stop since the sun broke out. Guests continue on entering the inn, hauling behind them their carriers and cameras, asking for accommodation.

Not really a fan of the commotion, to avoid the unusual flurry from the festival, Mina—the first one to wake up—asks for the entire sun house in the garden area just for their private use.

Other than their majestic bedroom on the topmost floor where her current other half is taking up the entire king size bed, the sun house is Mina’s favorite corner—or building?—of the inn. It’s somewhere hidden within a circular layout of trees and bushes quite a walk away from the backyard garden.

A two-story structure, the sun house is made entirely out of wood and one-way glass. Its essential purpose is for, well, to bask in the glory of the sun without burning themselves. There are bookshelves for pillars, an indoor fireplace, nice fur carpeting, and comfortable upholstered sofas for lounging. There’s also a small kitchen and dining area. The second floor is completely for recreational purposes, with a grand piano (made for Dahyun) and a gaming system complete with bean bag chairs (Chaeyoung, Momo, and Jeongyeon).

The entire inn is beautiful, with their own rooms and places, but this, the sun house, it’s theirs. It’s their place.

That is why Mina is here, cooking breakfast for everyone. Today is going to be a big and busy day for them and they need their nutritious morning intake.

A few minutes after she started batting the pancake mix, the door to the sun house makes a sound.

“Unnie?”

Mina looks over her shoulder and sees trouble duo, Dahyun and Chaeyoung, walk inside in their pajamas. “Good morning,” Mina greets happily, signaling for the two girls to sit down on the barstools by the kitchen island. There is freshly brewed coffee and hot chocolate waiting for them.

Chaeyoung initially dives into the food fest first. She grabs a mug of hot chocolate and slurps without any hesitation, much to her misfortune because they’re still really hot.

“Those are fresh from the pot, Chaengie. Be careful.” Mina warns a little bit too late. Upon seeing the disgruntled look on the youngest one’s face, she chuckles halfheartedly, “Well at least you know now…”

The first batch of pancakes is already finished by the time Sana and Tzuyu enter.

“Morning Minari!” Sana is way too ecstatic for the morning, much to Tzuyu’s calmer, “Good morning, unnie.”

Compared to their girlfriends, the two look more prepared and freshened up. Tzuyu’s already out of her pajamas and Sana sports a pink sultry silk robe.

Momo, expectedly, is the last one to get up and meet them in the sun house. She would not have even woken up if it weren’t for Mina personally waking her up from her blissful sleeping fest with a lot of sweet-talking.

(“Will there be a lot of kisses and pancakes there?”

“Mhm. A lot.”

“Okaaay~”)

By the time they’re all complete in the sun house, Sana, Mina, and Momo are in the kitchen eating while Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Dahyun are in the living room chatting. It’s only then someone takes a notice on Jeongyeon’s absence.

“I haven’t seen Jeongyeon unnie the entire morning…” Dahyun perks up, craning her neck around the sun house as if Jeongyeon would magically appear out of nowhere. “She usually gets up before everyone.”

Chaeyoung joins in the wondering. “Maybe she slept at her place?”

“With the noise and ruckus the installation team is making? I don’t think so…” Momo incoherently comments, cheeks inflated with the pancake pieces she’s keeping inside her mouth like a kid.

Mina tells her to chew it with a soft caress on her cheek, all lovingly and looking at her girlfriend as if she’s the best thing in the world (Mina thinks she is).

The memory of Jeongyeon standing outside, fighting against the intense wintertime winds suddenly flashes in Mina’s mind. “About Jeongyeon unnie”, she trails off as she slices through Momo’s pancake with her breadknife. “She came over last night—earlier, I mean.”

All eyes dart over to the ballerina, who’s still focused on cutting smaller chunks of pancakes for her girlfriend.

“Is something wrong, unnie?” Tzuyu asks, wary.

Mina immediately shakes her head, shoving their worries away. “She just had to leave to go somewhere.”

Sana, seated comfortably on top of Dahyun, frowns. “Somewhere? Where did she go?”

“Uh, Korea?”

The response is almost comical if not for the tsunami of questions and reactions Mina is instantly engulfed with. Chaeyoung and Dahyun are complaining about not getting to tag along the adventure, Sana and Momo are amazed by the big decision, and Tzuyu just reacts with her face.

“Is she there to see Nayeon unnie?” At the mere mention of the idol’s name from Chaeyoung, the noise inside the sun house gets extensively louder. It’s no longer different than the noise coming from the lobby’s inn.

Mina, with her soft nature, cannot fight through this commotion. Thankfully, her girlfriend is the most amazing human on the face of earth.

“Guys, guys”, Momo cuts through the group’s pandemonium. “We should all be happy for Jeong right now. She’s out there! Chasing her dreams! And rebuilding broken bridges!”

Mina lets out a breath of relief and thanks her girlfriend with a smile and her hand swiftly finding Momo’s underneath the table, interlacing fingers with each other.

The commotion dies down. Sana nods. “Momoring’s right.”

“Well yes, unnie is, but--…” Chaeyoung warily trails off, unsure how to articulate her words properly. She was never one for terminologies, finding it impossible for a word to perfectly compensate for an entire emotion or feeling.

Mina, because it’s what she does, remarkably breaks the tension and simply advises, “We should just send her encouraging words.”

Amidst the commotion, leave it to Mina to still everyone down to a calmer path. “Jeongyeon must feel anxious right now because she’s alone and…it’s been so long since she came back to Korea. Maybe we--…”

“Maybe we should jet off to Korea and help her then!” Dahyun’s voice is loud and bright and hopeful. “I mean, we can probably use one of Mina unnie’s jets and--…”

Mina feels aghast. “I don’t have a jet…!”

But everybody knows that’s a lie because Mina has at least three of those private, expensive flying things, and no one is listening (except for Momo because that’s what she does) because everyone’s too busy hyping up Dahyun’s crazy suggestion.

Sana’s already—of course—suggesting her penthouse for accommodations; Tzuyu is just feasting on her girlfriend’s leftover pancake chunks, casually going along with everything; Chaeyoung is suggesting even more absurd ideas (“And then we can plan their wedding there already!”); and Dahyun, as if her idea was not enough to set the entire sun house into chaos, randomly blurts out,

“AND MAYBE WE CAN SEE BONA UNNIE AGAIN!”

Mina should have known randomly blurting out things will silence everyone down.

And it goes from there, everyone’s attracted ears listening to the latest tea.

Dahyun is left to explain to the entire group what happened, that Bona has officially dropped out of the auction, and that word has got out she is also in Korea.

Gossip travels faster when you live in a small town.

“This is going to be a problem.” Chaeyoung sighs. “What if Bona unnie flew there to follow Nayeon unnie and potentially threaten her for getting back together with Jeongyeon unnie?”

Dahyun waves the apprehension of the younger one away. “Bona unnie wouldn’t do that…”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. “We have Dahyun unnie who adores Bona unnie and everything that she does…”

“I do not—!”

Sana frowns, venom lacing her tone. “Who’s this Bona unnie that you adore?”

Dahyun clearly gulps, much to the enjoyment of her friends who are currently watching the scene before them unfold. “Bona? Remember? Jeongyeon unnie’s ex?”

Chaeyoung snorts. “Yeah, the one who left unnie.”

Dahyun sighs. “Come on, Chaeng. Why are we still going to be bitter about their breakup? Wasn’t jt Jeongyeon unnie who told us herself, it was for the best they broke up? And besides, Bona unnie may _sometimes_ be insufferable--…”

“ _Everytime_.”

“…but she’s nice! And she smiles a lot! Remember when she gave you that personalized autograph from that artist you badly wanted to meet but couldn’t?”

Chaeyoung huffs, unable to retain any smart comeback but not wavering.

Someone else, on the other hand, is worrying about a completely different thing—or person.

“Do you think Nayeon unnie knows?”

There are a lot of things wrong with that question. One, it came from Chou Tzuyu, the same person who first expressed her disliking over said idol; second, it sounded so wary and concerned, two emotions Tzuyu rarely show and if she does, is almost, if not entirely, expressed for Chaeyoung only; and three, it’s Tzuyu expressing concern for Nayeon.

What the fuck.

Everyone must have been feeling the same shock because all eyes are focused on the youngest woman in the room.

It’s Chaeyoung who breaks the silence. “Are you okay, babe?”

Tzuyu just shrugs her shoulders. “I mean, think of it, if I were in unnie’s position, I would’ve…felt jealous in a way…the love of my life is seeing her ex.”

And that’s where the whole group erupts into another kind of chaos, one where the poor girlfriends are arguing over who is better with Jeongyeon, and the richer girlfriends are just…watching their partners.

It ends with Momo’s phone held up in the air, ringing and waiting for Nayeon to answer the FaceTime request.

***

Nayeon’s day begins at 4am.

She drinks a protein shake courtesy of Yubin (“I thought you said only an apple for breakfast?” “You know the rules don’t apply to me, honey.”), takes an intolerable, god forsaken ice bath to wake her nerves up, and begins the grind by running on the treadmill at the building’s gym. She returns after an hour and eats an apple for breakfast. (“But that doesn’t mean you’re excused from the rules, Nayeon. I’m simply making little exemptions.”)

By 6:30AM, Nayeon and Yubin are already at the Pilates studio. Yubin’s at the corner with her phone while Nayeon is stretching her limbs on the wooden-paneled floor, facing the mirror that takes up the entire wall.

The instructor arrives a few minutes later and they begin the Pilates class with some mat work, stretching using the yoga ball—or the giant ball, in Nayeon’s words—doing the basic stretches and positions first. They spend an hour for the basics just to condition the idol’s body before moving on to the ridiculous, godawful machinery that is the Cadillac, Nayeon’s worst enemy.

It’s horrible, really. The machine is for doing basic to complex exercises and poses, however, every single time Nayeon gets on the thing, her instructor always makes sure the exercises she does guarantees her at least more than one injury.

Don’t even get Nayeon started with the poses. The _motherfucking_ positions.

“This looks like some kind of BDSM machine.” She grumbles with a defeated whine, knowing all too well her complaints will never get her out of using the trapeze table.

At the far corner of the room, Yubin doesn’t even hide her mockery and laughter. “At least you get to test out the positions before trying them with your new lover…”

“UNNIE!”

“You think I wouldn’t know you ran off to Japan to go reunite with your lover? You underestimate me, Nayeonnie.” Yubin snorts. “I found out before the company! Before that dumb fake boyfriend of yours snitched you.”

Nayeon steps on the Cadillac, unable to distinguish who to listen to—her chagrin of a manager or her Pilates instructor.

Yubin sounds like a defeated child. It’s cute if not for the foulness coming out of her mouth, deterring Nayeon’s focus. “This is what you get! You think I won’t snitch you? You think I don’t open your Mac’s history?”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah, see the girl who looks up Kama Sutra positi--..”

“UNNIE! OH MY GOD!”

The instructor, concerned and determined not to let a person die on her machine, interjects between the immature squabbling. “Nayeon, focus on the pose…”

That gets the two to shut up.

Nayeon decides she wants to live for now so she listens to her instructor ramble on about her position’s benefits, “This one opens the hips and shoulders, and develops strong biceps.”

It’s ridiculous but Nayeon follows no matter how many curses and grunts she’s letting out positioning herself to an upside down fucking split.

As if the situation couldn’t get any worse, Yubin walks over to them and teases, “This is good for the legs, right?” the instructor nods. “Good, good. Then Nayeon won’t get easily exhausted letting her lover eat---…”

“UNNIE!”

The instructor and Yubin erupt into fits of laughter. If only Nayeon wasn’t hanging upside down she would have thrown a punch at her manager. “For your information, I would never hang upside down for my lover to eat me out. That’s too much work.”

Yubin only laughs even more.

The next position is a good spine stretch. The instructor explains the benefits of the pose, something about working out the heart, shoulders, pectorals, chest, and hips.

Nayeon’s already thinking ahead of what her manager might tease with now, but to her luck, some ringing begins blaring and echoing around the entire room, breaking the solitude—if there ever was one…

Yubin walks away to answer the phone, letting out a sigh of relief from Nayeon as she begins positioning herself to hang upside down again.

“It’s yours.” Yubin treads back to her, the idol’s phone in hand.

Nayeon groans. “Who is it?”

Yubin narrows her eyes at the phone’s screen. “It’s an unknown number.”

“Don’t answer it.”

Yubin thinks otherwise. “Yeah right. I’m going to answer it because what if this is your lover and you might want to show off this wonderful new position…”

“Unnie., don’t you dare--…”

“Too late.” Yubin presses the green button and slides it across the screen.

“Nayeon unnie!”

The voice is different—voices, rather—and Yubin turns the front cam to Nayeon’s struggling face.

The idol, _fucking confused because why does it sound so familiar…,_ looks up at the phone’s screen and sees six familiar faces gracing her, all bright smiles and giggles.

Nayeon loses her shit. “Oh my god. OH MY GOD!” She feels her blood slowly flowing down to her head.

“Unnie”, Dahyun hogs the screen with her face. “Why do you look like you’re doing a hand stand but you got stuck?”

Behind the phone, Yubin teases, “She’s trying out sex positions!” but Nayeon blurs her out by shouting incoherent words. Thankfully it worked.

The instructor mentions something about hanging on for a few more seconds.

“I’m at my Pilates class. How’d you guys get my number?” No one’s talking about the fact that Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung were upset with Nayeon when she left. Nayeon thinks maybe that’s for the better. Dwelling into the past will never help them move on and besides, it already happened.

Someone pulls Dahyun back and away from taking up half of the screen.

“Momo unnie has it.” Chaeyoung answers and a confused Nayeon— _how does Momo know my number_ —gets her explanation from the accused. “Jihyo gave it…to all of us…”

Under normal circumstances, Nayeon would have been cautious because Jihyo’s giving up her number. What if it gets onto the wrong hands? But these are Momo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and the entire Rich Girlfriends Squad—these are Jeongyeon’s girls. These are their friends. Nayeon’s cool with it.

“Why the sudden call?”

Chaeyoung makes an adorable pout. “Other than we already miss you, we also have a few things to tell you. Actually, Mina unnie has.”

Mina, who’s silently minding her own business casually smiling off and greeting Nayeon with equal enthusiasm, shoots the younger cub a glare—or at least, a soft long, meaningful look. “Wha—why me? It wasn’t my idea to--…”

“But it was Jeongyeon unnie who told you…”

Nayeon blurs out their small debate first in order to slowly climb out of her position on the Cadillac. By the time she’s fully seated on her butt, blood slowly travelling back to its rightful places, the argument is already done and after a ridiculous game of rock, paper, scissors, Dahyun gets to be the chosen announcer.

“Unnie…”

Nayeon only hums in return, acknowledging the wariness in the blonde’s voice.

“We’re simply giving you a head’s up, okay?”

“Okay…?”

All four other faces look at the blonde announcer with worry. (Tzuyu’s behind them, doesn’t show any emotion, really)

Dahyun takes a deep breath. “Seoul is small and although there are millions of people there, the universe isn’t picky, so you might find yourself a victim of coincidences and face to face with Bona unnie…or Jeongyeon unnie…or both, whatever…”

The inhale-hold-exhale exercises to soothe her muscles and cardiovascular system somehow don’t work anymore because Nayeon finds herself _fucking_ _choking._

“What?!” It’s loud and horrified—enough to make Nayeon’s instructor flinch.

It works though, on Dahyun as she passes the phone swiftly and worryingly to Mina who, in return, only sighs in dismay. Her face screams a hilarious _I should’ve known…_ “Jeongyeon unnie is there. She flew to Korea last night. Bona is also there in Korea…”

A certain blonde grabs the phone again and hogs the screen, looking like a crazy woman as she unnecessarily quips, “She’s the ex and we are not entirely sure what her stand is regarding you, unnie, but Chaeyoung is making an assumption that she’s there to make your life hell for stealing Jeongyeon unnie from her.”

Nayeon, again, chokes on her own breath. “What?” _Am I supposed to be living my own bad drama? Complete with the bad, psychopathic ex?_

“But Bona unnie is nice!”

Chaeyoung shouts from behind the blonde, “She’s not!”

Dahyun’s face takes up the entire screen again. _“She. Is.”_

Before the two youngest can even get themselves into another squabble, Nayeon cuts in and asks them about more _pivotal_ information. “Can you tell me where Jeongyeon is?”

Someone from behind Dahyun pulls her back into her place. All five faces get equal screen time now.

Sana shrugs her shoulders. She’s been awfully quiet. “We don’t actually know exactly where.” She turns to Mina. “Buts she did tell Minari that she’s going to stay over at her parents’.”

The instructor begins to wrap up their session on the Cadillac. By the other side of the room, she prepares the yoga mat and another exercise ball. Nayeon sighs. Not that again. “And where is that?”

From behind the phone, Yubin looks down on the idol with warning eyes. She already knows where this is going to. She shakes her head aggressively all the while mouthing a stern no.

Nayeon pretends not to see.

“Uh, I think they live in Suwon?” Chaeyoung answers albeit without any certainty.

Nayeon then summons all of her stock knowledge from geography class—not her favorite subject—and tries to figure out where Suwon is. Her idol life only permits her exclusive travels from and to Seoul and Jeju in Korea, and Tokyo in Japan. All the other provinces in Nayeon’s Korean map are jumbled and 99% in the wrong place.

So when her memory fails her, she turns to Yubin for some help. “Unnie…”

But Yubin is, as expected, always ahead of her in movement and in mind. She immediately shakes her head with an unyielding no. Nayeon asking where Suwon is located at is only the first step to her actually getting on to the next ride and running off to wherever the place is.

Nayeon jetting off and bailing her again is a definite no. Therefore Yubin already tells her, “You’re not going anywhere.”

This conversation is something Nayeon doesn’t want her Mitan friends hearing, so she naturally acts like nothing is going on and instead, focuses back on the girls with a big smile. “How’s the festival going there? A lot of tourists?”

Momo is the one who reacts first, expression with an exaggerated sigh, as if she just got off the shift of a construction worker. “It was exhausting! There are a lot, a lot, a lot of people! Especially guests checking in!”

Tzuyu, somewhere out of the camera’s range, scoffs at her unnie’s dramatic performance, making a snarky comment, “You didn’t even do any work, unnie…”

(Momo really didn’t)

Nayeon laughs. From behind the phone and Yubin, the instructor already signals for her. This is the idol’s cue to say goodbye.

“Hey guys, I’ll call you later, okay? I just have to finish my session.”

All five heads nod at her. Nayeon almost ends the call if it weren’t for Dahyun hogging the camera again.

“Unnie, please go meet Jeongyeon unnie! So we can plan your wedding already!”

Nayeon feels her cheeks warm up. “Wedding?”

Chaeyoung quickly pushes Dahyun aside with her shoulder. “And stop Bona unnie from stealing Jeongyeon unnie! We are not welcoming any supporter of the 2Yeon Divorce Party!”

Dahyun shoves Chaeyoung aside this time and thus begins another kiddy argument between the two.

 _A divorce party?_ Nayeon only laughs at that. _We aren’t even married yet._

It was supposed to be for her ears only but somehow, Nayeon’s managed to blurt that out and now all eyes are on her. It takes a split second for the shocked faces to morph into something else, a gleeful expression at Chaeyoung’s loud, “HOORAY! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE A WEDDING!”

The humiliation is Nayeon’s cue to end the call. “Uh…ok, I really have to go now, guys. Bye!” she hangs up without letting the girls tease her even more.

Nayeon’s had enough mockery for the day.

The moment the call ends, Yubin takes the phone and immediately strides away, much to Nayeon’s dismay. “Unnieeeeee!”

The idol stands up and walks over to where her instructor is waiting for her. She plops down on the yoga mat cross-legged. “Why are you already saying no? You don’t even know what I’m going to tell you!”

Yubin doesn’t even glance at Nayeon. “Oh trust me, I know perfectly well what you were about to say.”

“Uhuh?” Nayeon pouts like a defeated child and prods even more. “And what was I going to say?”

“That you want to drive all the way to Suwon to go see your lover before her ex steals her away. That you want me to hide you from the company’s prying eyes and let you run off and what, leave everything behind again?” Yubin shakes her head. “It’s a no, Nayeon.”

Nayeon is out of words. _Am I that obvious?_ The instructor tells her to stretch her legs out and have her forehead touch the mat. Nayeon does so but not without a, “Come on, unnie! Please!” first.

Yubin keeps Nayeon’s phone inside her bag. “For the last time, no, Nayeon. I am not going to postpone your entire schedule for the sake of your lover. Let her enjoy her time with her family. Don’t be greedy.”

Nayeon groans—both because of her manager and the struggle from her position. “But unnie! Her ex! Her ex is there!”

“And what about that? What’s with her ex? Is that…” Yubin makes a playful sniffing sound as she walks over back to Nayeon. “…jealousy I smell?”

At the mention the word, Nayeon immediately sits up. “I AM NOT JEALOUS!”

The poor instructor, stuck in between the squabbling, motions for Nayeon to return to her position, only to be shamelessly ignored by the idol.

“Why would I be jealous over that woman when--…”

“What’s her name?” Yubin pulls out her own phone.

“Bona” she answers unknowingly before going back again, “When I am the one and only Im Nayeon, who doesn’t let any lowlander get in the way of my great--…”

Yubin grins, interjecting, “Ooh, found her…”

Nayeon never stood up so fast her entire life. “What? Where?”

She looks at the phone over Yubin’s shoulder and sees one whole Instagram profile page. “Wha—how did you find her so easily—ah!” But Yubin just shoves her away like some kind of toy.

“Get back on the mat.”

Nayeon feels offended beyond proportions. She just got manhandled by her own manager. “Ya!” she does get back on the mat though, where her instructor only looks at her with a disappointed frown.

“How’d you find her account so easily?”

Yubin entertains herself with the aesthetic selcas and photos. “Not a lot of people are named Bona, Nayeon.”

“Yeah?” Nayeon scoffs. “Well normal people also have surnames and none of my friends mentioned Bona’s, so how the fuck did you know that was the Bona we were talking about?”

“She only has 2 posts and one of them is a picture of her and lover in a really compromising position…”

This conversation is really testing Nayeon’s limits—as well as the instructor’s patience. The latter only watches her student yet again sit up and move away from her, towards Yubin who only raises the phone away from Nayeon’s prying hands.

The two adult women play a bad game of catch me if you can for a whole minute until Nayeon finally snatches the device and takes a look at the post.

She stares at it intently, eyeing the entire photograph with the eyes of a snake.

There it is, Jeongyeon in the arms of her ex-girlfriend, Bona—or according to the Instagram username, Kim Jiyeon.

From the looks of the picture, posted almost four years ago, the two women are dressed up some kind of hiking attire. Jeongyeon looks adorable in her leggings and Nike shirt, with that oversize beanie engulfing her entire head, and that amazing, perfect smile of hers.

Nayeon can just spend an eternity looking at the picture if only there wasn’t another face yanking her attention away.

 _So this is Bona…_ Nayeon’s only ever heard of tales about the woman.

Bona, in this picture, looks—if Nayeon were to describe her according to the general standards of Korean beauty and not her personal beliefs—well, pretty. Nothing much to throw Nayeon off—

“She’s hot.” Yubin makes that infuriating whistle sound.

Nayeon glares at her manager. “Whose side are you on here?”

It only elicits an out-of-character cackle from the classy woman. “No one! It’s just that,” she grabs her phone back from Nayeon’s hold. “Look at her! She’s thin, has the skin of a baby’s butt, and is…well, sexy!”

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “I have all of those as well.”

Yubin scoffs, thinks it’s time to exit the app. “Indulge yourself, hon.” She walks back to where she’s seated at only to suddenly hear a godawful whine.

“Unnieeee~” Nayeon is insufferable when her self-esteem is plunging down. “Are you saying Jeongyeon’s ex is better than me?”

It’s not her fault. Yes, to the eyes of many, she is a _goddess_ of some sort, perfect and without any flaw. But to maintain that status is the biggest challenge of all, especially if the only thing people see in Nayeon is her physical appearance. It’s superficial and tiring but most of all, the foundation of her insecurities.

It’s one thing to hear incessant tales about the perfect relationship Jeongyeon and Bona had (despite Chaeyoung’s opposition), but it’s entirely a different matter to see exactly how perfect Bona looks like.

What does Nayeon have to rival against Bona’s slender frame and hips to die for? That milky skin of hers that glimmered under the sun with its beads of sweat that looked like they were fucking diamonds? Or that smile of hers, tiny veins showing on her temples beside her crinkling eyes. Her hair looks beautiful even if it’s messed up and in a high ponytail. And her body looks perfect even if Nayeon can only have a view of midriff and above—which is nothing but a sports bra, mind you. A _motherfucking_ sports bra to show her perfectly-toned abs.

_Abs._

So yes, Nayeon’s insecure. Because most of all, apart from her already gorgeous physique, this is the woman Jeongyeon loved at one point. And this woman loved her back—perhaps, love her still.

 _Ah fuck._ Nayeon feels a headache creeping in.

She walks back over to the yoga mat and takes a seat. The instructor doesn’t bother anymore. They’re still paying her even if Nayeon chooses not to do the exercises.

The silence in the room is weird and heavy, and definitely not a Nayeon thing to have, so it sends warning bells to Yubin. Despite the fact that she’s as insufferable as her talent, she still discreetly loves Nayeon and cares for the young one. And besides, she can’t manage a woman who has issues with herself. How the fuck will Nayeon be able to rock the stage if she’s troubled backstage?

“Hey, kid…” Yubin walks over to Nayeon again. This time, she takes a seat beside the younger woman, on the wooden-paneled floor of the studio. She kicks off her heels and removes her leather jacket. “Don’t tell me you’re upset because your lover has--…”

“Please stop calling Jeongyeon my ‘lover’”, Nayeon groans. “You make it sound so sexual and inappropriate.”

Yubin fails to stifle her laughter. “Okay, okay, I apologize for stating the truth…” she grabs Nayeon’s hand and holds it tight within the confines of her moisturized palm. “Don’t tell me you’re upset over Jeongyeon’s ex.”

It feels weird to be the receiving end of Yubin’s affection. Nayeon relishes this moment. “You said it yourself. She’s hot.”

“And you’re upset because of that?”

Nayeon snorts. “Yes, and because she looks perfect and she’s here, probably out to ruin my chances of ever getting my happy ending with Jeongyeon. She’s like, the evil stepmother from Cinderella but young and hot.”

“So?” Yubin lets out a proud scoff. “You have an upper hand.”

“Yeah? What?” Nayeon urges, doubtful and even more upset.

Yubin did not expect the woman to demand any more clarifications from her. Their conversation never did reach this point. Normally, it would end with Nayeon just upset and feeling defeated. “Uh…” she thinks hard. “You’re rich…?”

“She’s also rich. How the hell did she manage to fly back to Korea so easily if she wasn’t?”

“Maybe she won the lottery or a free roundtrip ticket---…”

“Not helping, unnie.”

“Sorry…” Yubin only sighs. “You’re…uh…” she tries to think of a word to flatter Nayeon. “…a worldwide sensation and a famous actress, model, and idol?”

“You mean, Nation’s Whore?”

Yubin frowns at the moniker. When the company had heard of it, they didn’t bother fighting off the malicious comments and instead, exploited Nayeon even more. Yubin was the last one to hear of it. She took a week off during those dark periods and when she came back, her kid was on every newspaper and web page, dubbed the god forsaken title.

(There was a big fight at the conference room when Yubin met up with the other incompetent managers who didn’t defend Nayeon)

“Stop calling yourself that. And stop thinking of it as well. This Bona girl, however perfect she may be and their relationship might have been, Jeongyeon’s with you, right? Not her. Not perfect Bona. So that’s your upper hand here. Jeongyeon loves you and you love her. Nothing else would matter.”

At the end of her speech, Yubin only watches as Nayeon stare at her in wonder.

“Wow…that was…amazing. I feel so…weird…” The younger woman is as astonished as Yubin herself. She didn’t know she had it in her to be a motivational speaker.

Nayeon takes this chance. “Thank you, unnie. Does that mean you’ll also allow me to go to--…”

“No.”

***

A refreshed Yoo Jeongyeon wakes up to two things: the orange flares of the sun peeking through the window beside the bed, curtain-less because her sister hasn’t bothered putting one up yet, and the continuous chiming and vibration coming from the mobile device beside her head.

She fishes for her phone somewhere on the bed and covers her eyes from blindness with the other hand.

Seungyeon is, as expected, nowhere to be found, probably already tending to her day’s schedule. Jeongyeon just hopes there’s food prepared for her because she’s too lazy to cook and—according to the time on her phone—it’s already 5:30 in the afternoon.

The realization that she’s overslept elicits a frustrated sigh from Jeongyeon. Although the 12-hour sleep was really well-deserved and rejuvenating, she had wanted to begin tending to her personal matters and perhaps, try to locate Bona’s whereabouts.

Speaking of her ex’s whereabouts, Jeongyeon unlocks her phone and almost taps into her recent logs to call her sister for updates, only to be greeted by another message from an unknown number randomly popping up on her screen.

**_Call me when you can. Xx_ **

Jeongyeon frowns. _Who the hell?_ She opens up her inbox and spots the first notification in bold, from the unknown number who has left her six unread messages.

_So this was my alarm…_

Jeongyeon taps on the unread message and opens the entire chat box. She reads the entire thing out of arrangement, from the latest message to the first one sent.

**_Call me when you can. Xx_ **

**_I know a nice place in Myeongdeong_ **

**_My treat :p_ **

**_Can we talk? Over some Korean beef, u want?_ **

**_I heard you’re here in Seoul_ **

**_Hey, Jeong. It’s Bona_ ** **_♡_ **

The last message is left reread several times before everything dawns on Jeongyeon. She might have beeb half-conscious earlier but she’s very much awake now.

From the time stamp on the latest message, Bona texted her not long ago (5:28PM). Jeongyeon ponders first, the right and rational move from here. She might have let her spontaneous side win over her and send her to Korea last night but Jeongyeon’s had enough. She’s not going to gamble her future with her recklessness.

She gets up on the bed and types a respond to Bona’s text. I just woke up. Sorry.

She sends it after numerous failed attempts at remembering the slang words Chaeyoung taught her, something about the shortened version of her current message. When Jeongyeon fails miserably, she just sends that message to Bona. She doesn’t have time to pretend to be cool.

While waiting for Bona’s reply, Jeongyeon jumps out of the bed and grabs her duffel bag, preparing her clothes for the day. There’s already a towel waiting by the edge of the bed, and Seungyeon—knowing her sister—probably already has her extensive collection of toiletries set up in her bathroom. That’ll do.

She grabs her things and heads for the bathroom across the hall—a spacious expensive-looking bathroom complete with expensive granite flooring and wash area, a Jacuzzi and a shower room good for four fucking people.

The entire bathroom might as well be as big as Jeongyeon’s kitchen in her house.

Just as she begins stripping herself off her clothes, her phone begins ringing loudly on top of the granite washing counter, playing a godawful ringtone: Baby Shark. This has Chaeyoung and Dahyun written all over it.

Jeongyeon wraps a towel around her body and answers the call. “Hello?”

_“Jeong?”_

She removes the device on her ear and looks at the caller I.D., an unknown number. The voice easily gives it away.

“I didn’t think you’d call…”

There’s a chuckle, the graceful one Bona has perfected. _“I didn’t think you’d reply to me as well.”_

“You said free food. Who am I to decline such blessings?” Jeongyeon tries to make it sound funny and light, but it just ends up half-hearted.

_“So you’re up for it?”_

“I mean, we also need to talk, right?” Jeongyeon is fidgety. She picks on the dried droplet of toothpaste on the granite counter with the end of her toothbrush.

There’s a small sigh coming from the other end of the line. “ _Yeah…_ ” and then there’s silence for a good few seconds. Bona must be thinking.

_“Let’s meet?”_

Jeongyeon was just waiting for Bona to initiate it this time. “What time and where?”

_“6pm, I’ll pick you up.”_

“But you--…”

_“Your sister told me where you’re staying. There’s a waiting shed just outside the front gate of the village. I’ll meet you there.”_

Jeongyeon is confused. “Unnie messaged you?”

Bona laughs a little. _“DM-ed me in Instagram.”_

The surprising albeit not so surprising information elicits a laugh from Jeongyeon. Leave it to her sister to get the job done in no time. “Wow…”

 _“I know right?”_ Jeongyeon can imagine a big, jovial smile on her ex’s face. _“Anyway, I’ll see you later?”_

Jeongyeon nods. “Yes, yes. 6pm at the waiting shed. Pick me up.”

_“Will do.”_

“Bye, Bona.”

Bona smiles. _“Bye, Jeong.”_

***

After lounging in the sun house until lunch, where Momo cooked (microwaved) the group some of her favorite jeokbal, and then going back to the inn to take their baths and prepare for the day, the three couples separate into two groups—two dangerous groups.

“Are you sure about this, unnie?”

Tzuyu is 100% reluctant and wary. She stands in between Sana and Mina as they watch their respective other halves walk away from them, arms locked with each other’s.

“Is it safe to leave them three together?”

It’s not that Mina, Tzuyu, and Sana don’t trust their girlfriends. It’s just…nerve-wrecking to leave the three in each other’s company unsupervised.

Mina almost bolted towards Momo a few seconds ago, when her girlfriend, situated in the middle, was skipping happily down the pedestrian lane in one second, her arms linked with Dahyun’s at her right and Chaeyoung’s at her left, and then accidentally almost tripping on a pebble another second later.

“I mean...the three of them spend time with each other more often than they do with us and they’re still okay, so…” the only one Mina’s trying to convince and assure with her answer is herself. She may be composed but her insides are dying of apprehension over the safety of her injury-prone girlfriend.

Sana, on the other hand, is the least bit fazed among the three. “I think they’ll do okay.” Her voice is light and cheery. “They won’t be gone for that long and we don’t really have any use if we tag along their practice for the festival. And besides, we can see them later.”

Mina and Tzuyu only share silent grumbles of defeat. Sana, the oldest among them, was correct. Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung managed to come out and see them alive when their affluent other halves were nowhere near them.

“I just hope nothing goes wrong...” Mina whispers, already sending prayers for the three girls’ safety.

“What could go wrong, Minari?” Sana walks back inside the inn the moment Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung are out of sight. Mina and Tzuyu follow behind her shortly. “They’re just going to attend their rehearsals for the festival’s program.”

Mina sighs, frustrated. There’s still this clenching feeling at the pit of her stomach. She only ever gets it whenever she feels like something is going on or is going to happen. “I just feel like…”

“Like nothing.” Sana finishes Mina’s attempt at explaining. “Nothing is going to happen, okay?” she looks at both wary Tzuyu and Mina. “You two have got to learn to trust my words more. And your girlfriends. Nothing is going happen. When was I ever wrong, huh?”

Mina can name a few out of many times.

(Like the time Sana said Dahyun and Chaeyoung were fine even though Chaeyoung hadn’t been answering Tzuyu’s calls all night. The next thing they knew, there were cops involved and the two ended up at a juvenile facility where they were temporarily held for destroying public property.

Or the time Sana told Mina not worry, leaving Momo in-charge of preparing dinner in one of their past camping trips was a perfectly safe idea while Mina helped out in looking for firewood. The next thing they knew, Momo burnt down Chaeyoung and Tzuyu’s tent. And they also didn’t have dinner.)

So yes, when was Sana ever wrong?

Mina and Tzuyu exchange worried glances.

Most of the time.

***

“I didn’t think they’d allow us that easily”, Chaeyoung comments as they enter the frozen park to sightsee some of the ice sculptures presented by the townsfolk. “I expected Mina unnie to put up a fight.”

Dahyun waves her hand in the air, as if swiping the prospect of Mina getting mad away. “Mina unnie and fight in one sentence? The only time that happens is if you put the words video and game somewhere there. A really good video game.”

Momo only agrees out of responding. She’s too focused licking off the droplets of her ice cream on the cone.

The three women are scheduled for separate rehearsals in preparation for the auction on the last day of the festival. Although it sucks not having to have their significant others with them, enjoying the festival, Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung should know how to live with that they have. After all, Sana and Mina will be flying back to Korea a few days from now, and Tzuyu will be travelling to Paris for a fashion show.

Momo, Dahyun, and Chaeyoung’s fairytales will end soon.

“What time are the rehearsals?” Dahyun looks at her wristwatch before turning to the two other ladies.

Chaeyoung shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not sure with Momo unnie’s but I think ours will start some time around 3pm?”

Momo, after finishing her ice cream cone, elicits a gleeful squeal. “We can look around the festival while waiting!” The two other women agree without a word. The first day of the festival is always the most fun, after all.

***

In all of Yoo Jeongyeon’s 29 years of existence, (count the time she was dating Nayeon in college) this is one of the few—very few—actual moments she’s downright fretting over what to wear. That’s not how it works for Jeongyeon but here she is, trying to make it work.

It’s not even a fucking date with Bona. She’s just going to meet her ex over some free food and talk. That’s not a date, especially when they’ve broken up and Jeongyeon is without any doubt in love with Im Nayeon.

So why the hell was she panicking, walking on a sea of clothes she’s tried on but didn’t feel like wearing them? Oh, that’s right, now she remembers. Because it’s Bona, Kim Jiyeon, her ex who has the figure of a Victoria’s Secret Model (can’t rival Nayeon’s, though) and the fashion taste of Ana Wintour (still can’t compare to Nayeon’s), and Jeongyeon wouldn’t want to look like a walking padded rug next to her.

Yep, that’s why Jeongyeon is staring at herself in the body mirror right now, mad at herself for not packing up properly enough actual clothes.

She’s left entirely to her last option, an oversized padded coat for the winter, a beanie, a checkered top tucked inside black ripped jeans, and some Doc Marten’s from Seungyeon’s shoe closet (thank God they’re the same shoe size).

After god-knows-how-long, Jeongyeon finally finds herself bracing the coldness and snowfall as she walks to where she is supposed to meet Bona, at the waiting shed outside of the village’s front entrance.

There are about more than five other people waiting with her, most of which are guys smoking. It’s annoying. It’ even more infuriating because everyone’s got their eyes Jeongyeon. She looks just about as normal as anybody else in that shed with her, in their coats barely fighting off the snowfall and the coldness.

Is it the checkered top? Jeongyeon doubts it is. Checkered isn’t new in Korea, nor is it new in the winter fashion scene—not that Jeongyeon cared.

Do I have something on my face--?

Jeongyeon turns around on her heel to take a look at herself from the reflection of the signage and tarpaulins at the shed, but she gets stopped midway by the very conspicuous metallic red Ferrari 458 stopping beside the curb right in front of her, engine roaring like a thousand ferocious growling dogs.

The tinted window rolls down and reveals the one and only Bona. “Jeongyeon!”

As if Jeongyeon couldn’t look any more like an attention whore in the streets. “Bona?”

Said woman reaches over the seat and opens the car door. “Get in.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t hesitate anymore. All eyes are on her now. (Somewhere behind, she hears a camera click?) She gets inside the Ferrari.

Bona drives away.

***

(It’s a good-looking Ferrari, that Jeongyeon credits. I mean, all Ferraris look okay? There are expensive leather seats and that expensive smell as well. It reminds her of Seungyeon’s Porsche.

Are all Koreans here rich? )

***

“Is something on my face?”

Bona lets out an incredulous puff. “Hello to you too, Jeong. It’s been a while.”

“Only weeks, Bona.” Jeongyeon corrects with a snort. “Anyway, my face...”

Bona quickly steals a glance at her ex’s face. “Nothing. It’s clear to me.”

“Huh…” Jeongyeon slumps back down on her seat. If there’s nothing on my face then why were all those people looking at me like I’m some kind of ghost of the Christmas past? Do I look like the grinch now?

“Earlier back there, a lot of people at the shed were gawking at me, as if--…”

“As if you’re some kind of celebrity?”

“Christmas grinch, I was going to say, but that works too…”

Bona focuses on the road but lets out a chortle. She fishes for her phone somewhere in the compartment between them, unlocks the device without even sparing it a glance, and hands it over to the clueless Yoo Jeongyeon beside her.

“That’s because you are a celebrity now.”

Jeongyeon takes the phone and looks at the Instagram post open out for her to see. “You’re kidding. What are you talking ab—oh shit.”

It’s hard to distinguish who’s at fault here. Jeongyeon who can’t fathom whether she’s going to get blind by Bona’s bright phone, or the picture that looks like it was taken by an old Nokia phone.

“Is that…”

“That was from that airport scene your girlfriend made.” It’s supposed to be laced with venom and resent, because this is Nayeon they’re talking about, but Jeongyeon is surprised she doesn’t feel anything the like with Bona’s tone. It sounds like nothing. “I was going to save this topic for later but you can read that and scroll through the hashtag they made for you.”

Jeongyeon does just that and clicks the absurdity that is #NayeonMysterySugarbaby

There are about over a hundred posts under the hashtag, overwhelming Jeongyeon. Most of the pictures are the same, a collage of four photos taken during the emotional catastrophe that was Nayeon and Ryoma’s reunion at the airport.

On the first photo, the only view was of Jeongyeon’s back. She was looking at Nayeon and Ryoma hugging. On the second and third pictures, Jeongyeon was walking away and Nayeon was behind, following. The movement caused the photograph to be blurry but it looked like a bad drama scene. The last photo was of Jeongyeon far away, getting into one of Mina’s cars.

The caption would have been funny to real-life Jeongyeon (“is this some kind of new drama nayeon is doing??? Im confused???) if it weren’t for the fact that her face wasn’t covered and now there are 100 more pictures of her all over the internet…

_Holy shit._

“Oh god…” there it is, Jeongyeon can feel it. Bile climbing up her throat from the pit of her stomach. “Pull over!”

“What? Why?!”

Jeongyeon seals her lips shut, cheeks inflating from the gas of the acid now ready to erupt from her mouth like a bad and putrid fireworks show. “BONA!”

“Okay, okay! Wait!” Bona finds a safe side and swerves her car to curb. Jeongyeon opens the door without sparing any second and vomits her guts and anxieties out like a drunkard at three in the morning.

Thank goodness it’s already night time. No one can see Jeongyeon puking her stomach out.

“What the fuck, Jeong, are you okay?!”

Jengyeon thinks yeah but then she remembers her face on more than 100 Instagram posts calling her a sugarbaby, and then thinks fuck no and begins vomiting even more just when she thought she’s already barfed her entire organs out.

They stay by the side of the road for more than ten minutes before Jeongyeon’s organs call it okay and Bona’s handed her a mint and some wipes. The entire time Jeongyeon tends to herself, Bona only looks at her with pity.

“Fuck this”, she soon exclaims, starting the car again. “We’re going out to drink.”

Jeongyeon think of alcohol and actually feels her stomach clench. “I don’t think I can handle any more puking--…”

“You can’t stop me, Yoo.”

Jeongyeon’s too exhausted to fight and Bona always has been obstinate. “Whatever.”

There’s no more use in begging for people to let the issue go. What gets displayed in the internet stays there. For now, all her worries are focused on one thing: her bruised ego (and her privacy now gone but mostly the ego part)

_I am not Nayeon’s sugarbaby…_

***

Momo left Dahyun and Chaeyoung about fifteen minutes ago, when the calls for the hosts were made. Practices for the auction will be in a few minutes away hence Dahyun and Chaeyoung decision to speed-walk their way along the park, admiring the beautiful ice sculptures.

In the middle of Chaeyoung ranting to the blonde one all about her awaiting ordeals back in university, she gets stopped mid-way by Dahyun pulling her arm back.

“Wha--…”

Dahyun shushes her and only looks afar, squinting in the process.

Chaeyoung follows the trajectory of Dahyun’s narrowed eyes. She sees a tall man clad in a blue Mizuno padded coat. He’s looking away, searching for something by the aspects of it, and Chaeyoung _really_ doesn’t understand why the hell they are staring at some strange man in striking coat—

What are we looking at, unnie?” Chaeyoung whispers _just because_.

Dahyun frowns, the dip in between her brows only deepening. “Does that guy look familiar to you?”

 _Oh, so it is the guy…_ Chaeyoung shakes her head but looks further. They take a few steps closer to the man who stays on his place, still craning his neck, searching around the park.

From where they’re standing, Chaeyoung can see the man’s pretty hair and pointed side-profile. He looks attractive from this view, she thinks. _Looks rich and prim, like a sore thumb sticking out in this festival—_

“Oh my God.”

Chaeyoung snaps her head to Dahyun. “What? What?”

The older girl looks like she’s just seen a ghost. “I remember him now.” Like the intense end of every drama episode, Dahyun slowly turns to Chaeyoung and, with all the horror her usually-bright face can express, says,

“It’s Nayeon unnie’s ex.”

Chaeyoung cranes her neck back to the guy, still looking for something— _someone._ “Ryoma Takeuchi?”

Dahyun nods slowly, mortified.

“What’s he doing here?”

“Maybe…” Dahyun’s afraid to say it out loud. The universe might hear her. So she whispers. “Maybe he’s looking for Nayeon unnie?”

Chaeyoung thinks maybe it’s the sugar rush or maybe it’s just her soft spot for her Nayeon unnie that’s pushing her to do this, but she soon finds herself smirking, “Let’s find out then”, before walking away to where Ryoma is at.

“Ya!” Dahyun tries to whisper-shout, but the younger girl is already too far away.

Chaeyoung taps the tall man’s arm. “Excuse me?”

Ryoma looks _down_. “Oh, hello.” He speaks in a rushed Japanese tone, sounding a bit…anxious.

“Are you looking for something?” Chaeyoung can see Dahyun from her peripheral vision mouthing something to her, something like _stop, Chaeng!_

“I actually am looking for someone? I’m a tourist here.”

Chaeyoung fakes a smile. “Oh? Maybe I can help. Who are you looking for?”

Ryoma takes out his phone from one of his coat’s pockets, slides it open and then shows Chaeyoung a picture. “I’m looking for her…? Have you seen her?”

Chaeyoung looks at the photo of… _what the fuck?_

The shocked expression on Chaeyoung’s face elicits a confused reaction from Ryoma. “Do you know her?” He trails off. “Her name’s Bona-san?”

_They know each other?_

***

Bona is the paradigm of That Bitch™ in those rom-com movies that you just can’t find yourself absolutely hating because, despite her godawful personality, haughtiness, and her flamboyance, she grounds and denotes the human side of the fairytale story. She’s the complementary character, because real people aren’t just rainbows and unicorns, they’re also dark clouds and lions just waiting to roar.

That is why Jeongyeon cannot, for the sake of her, _completely_ hate Bona. Their failed relationship side, the woman is a blunt lady who knows what she wants and what she wants to say. It gets scary and offensive most of the times, but it’s the hard-hitting truth. Truth fucking hurts. And people need the truth to ground them.

Maybe that’s why Jeongyeon can’t seem to bare the fact that they are where they are right now, in a totally out-of-character bar at some alley in the treacherous side of Myeongdeong, intermingling with the clouds of cigarette smoke, the putrid smell of booze, and a lot of people grinding to 90s RnB, some college dudes throwing themselves at the pretty, rich-looking lady who showed up in a cool red Ferrari—with some other girl that looks more like her butler than her company.

Yes, Jeongyeon is _so_ lost. They’re supposed to be in a nice restaurant eating meat and talking about more important matters, with Bona playing her role as the insufferable That Bitch™. They’re _not_ supposed to be here, in some crappy bar with horny boys ogling them (more at Bona, though) and Jeongyeon’s _absolutely_ not supposed to be drunk after two shots. _Two motherfucking shots._

“Jeongyeon—!” Bona is usually quiet. She reminds Jeongyeon of Mina. It’s only understandable that, even at the loudest decibel her vocal chords can level at, her “shouting” can barely be considered conversational tone. That and the fact that the bar is playing painfully deafening music.

Jeongyeon, despite her vertigo and the rationality graduallyfading away, leans closer and offers the woman her ear.

Bona shouts something to her while she reaches for her third shot. Somehow, she finds it almost satiating, the burning of her throat whenever she chugs down a Tower. By the time Jeongyeon’s emptied her glass, Bona’s moved away from her and is looking at her with an apprehensive face.

Jeongyeon repeats what she just heard. “I jab the bell you some fish?”

This is new. Jeongyeon was never one to let loose. She was the collected one, the designated driver everytime her friends went out to drink. Bona was the party-girl, lavish and wild. She threw the biggest parties when she was in university. Jeongyeon remembers hearing her ex get called “The Master of College Parties”.

Jeongyeon didn’t think she’d find herself completely drunken and Bona completely sober with two shots down. Maybe this is why she never got to attend any college party before. The universe knew she would fuck up with her low alcoholic tolerance and her poor socializing skills.

Jeongyeon waves her hand at the miserable-looking bartender—some college dude barely getting by—and giddily chortles at the woman seated in front of her. “I’m not a fish, Bona. I’m Jeongyeon…”

The look of longing on Bona’s face is completely wiped out and replaced by a frustrated frown. She takes a deep breath, moves closer, and shouts louder, “No! I said, I have to tell you something!”

Jeongyeon flinches away. “Okaaaay”, she rubs her ear and and grabs the new Tower slided to her by the bartender. “You didn’t need to shout…”

She lifts the glass up to her lips, smells the familiar odour of a bunch of poorly-mixed alcohol, and _almost_ chugs down her second Tower, only to be stopped halfway by the more sober woman.

“That’s enough.” Bona says sternly even though Jeongyeon is too drunk to realize that. She gently grabs the glass away from Jeongyeon’s hold and puts it down on the counter. “Let’s go to some place quiet…”

At the far back of her mind, the microscopic rational side of Jeongyeon is sending her warning bells. That line is far too used for her not to know where _this_ is going.

Unfortunately for her, the greater portion of her entire system is controlled by the alcohol running in her veins. The fine line between “ _No, Jeongyeon”!_ and “ _Ah, fuck it.”_ is now ompletely distorted.

Bona jumps off the high barstool and grabs Jeongyeon’s hand. “Come on.”

Compared to Bona, whose fluid moves get her through the crowd effortlessly (or is it the way the dancefloor just parts at the sight of a pretty lady?), Jeongyeon feels like a brick wall getting hit at all sides. She doesn’t get to dodge the arm flailing, or the feet stomping.

There’s no “quiet” inch inside the place, so Bona ends up pulling Jeongyeon outside. By the time they find a safe corner, though, the older woman already feels dizzy and nauseous, like all the alcohol she’s accumulated from the three shots and one-and-a-half glass of Tower is clawing its way back up her throat.

“I have to tell you something--…”

Jeongyeon lets out a malodorous hiccup. That is enough to trigger her gag reflex.

“—Oh my God!”

That is the last vivid memory Jeongyeon recalls before she wakes up. There are flashes of being carried on the back of some buff man and Bona holding her hair back for her, but nothing significant, she remembers.

“Where are we?” It leaves her lips guttural. Jeongyeon feels like she’s about to die. Her lips are dry and her throat feels parched, like she hasn’t drunk any glass of water since the dawn of day.

When the silence answers her, Jeongyeon forces her eyes open. She only realizes then it was shut and she must’ve looked stupidly sleep-talking.

What greets her sight is horrifyingly not the inside of Bona’s Ferrari, however. It’warm white wallas with a diamond chandelier hanging from a high ceiling. There are floor-to-ceiling glass windows to her right, an expensive-looking sofa set (one of which she’s occupying) and a big flatscreen TV in front.

Other than the appliances and the furniture, not a single remnant of the homeowner’s personality can be found. This isn’t Seungyeon’s place, Jeongyeon concludes the moment she sees how neat and organized the room is. This is _definitely_ not their home in Suwon, too.

_Where the fuck am I—_

And then, it flashes, everything all at once. Her partying like a college student again at some dingy alley bar, drinking alcohol like it’s water, all to drown herself and forget about the fact that she just flew to Korea to fix her shit and get it together, and that practically the whole country knows her now as _Nayeon’s Sugarbaby_.

It flashes, all at once. She was drunk off her ass, with Bona. _Kim Jiyeon, her ex._ That Bitch ™.

_Holy mother of –_

“Oh, you’re awake!” Speaking of her ex… 

Bona appears from the hallway, a tray in hand with a glass of water and a bunch of pills on a plate. Jeongyeon feels the headache coming in just in time.

“Is this your place?” She asks the moment Bona walks towards her to place the tray on the coffee table in front.

She drops a capsule of Aspirin on a medicine cup and hands it over with a glass of water. “Nope.”

Jeongyeon miserably takes the glass and the pill, chugs it together in one go. “What?” She frowns. “Then where are we--…”

“Thank _God_ you’re awake!” Another high-pitched voice comes reverberating inside the spacious room, completely sending Jeongyeon’s head spiraling to its death.

She looks up to whoever that loud voice came from. “Please shut…”

Bona takes a step back to stand beside the current subject of Jeongyeon’s enlarged stare. “Am…am I still dreaming?”

Her words elicit laughter from the two women currently standing before her, looking at her with amused faces. Bona crosses her arms over her chest and simpers, “I was just as surprised as you are.”

She turns to the woman beside her equally entertained. “I told you so. She thinks she’s dead.”

“Oh come on”, Nayeon puffs comically with a playful roll of her eyes. “This is advancement in the face of _The Ex_ and _The Girlfriend_.”

***

(When Nayeon wished for a thrilling end to her night after an agonizingly strenuous day, she didn’t mean _this_.

“What the…?” she can’t even formulate her words. The presence of a security guard she recognizes from the lobby of her apartment building, holding up Jeongyeon’s one arm while the other is held up by the one and only _Bona_ , is too unforeseen.

“Hi, I’m sorry we met under such circumstances”, Bona apologizes with a tired frown. Something in it tells Nayeon she’s not supposed to get mad here. “It’s just that Jeongyeon and I were supposed to talk but she got super drunk and she told me to drive her here…”

The question _how_ hangs at the tip of Nayeon’s tongue, but the sight of Jeongyeon totally _wasted_ concerns her more. She steps aside and swings the door open wider for the guard and Bona to carry Jeongyeon in.

They place her on her sofa, asleep like the dead.

Nayeon sends off the guard with a thankful smile before shutting her door and immediately tending to the presence of Bona, Jeongyeon’s _ex-girlfriend,_ in her living room.

“Hi…uh, can I ask where--…”

“You’re Bona, right?” Nayeon interjects.

“This is weird for me too, but I can explain after we take care of…her…” Bona gestures her hand over the lifeless form of Yoo Jeongyeon on Nayeon’s sofa.

With that, Nayeon agrees. Their talk can wait. This is the only thing she might have in common with Bona. They both care for Jeongyeon—but her a little more.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last...two? three? more chapters to go!! this is the longest one i've written so far ahaha it was fun for the most part! HAHA Please comment down below your thoughts on this? HAHAH thank you for reading! don't get bored please :( we're nearing the end :D :'(


	16. We Can Be True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeongyeon wakes up with the worst headache ever possible to humankind. 

Jeongyeon wakes up with the worst headache ever possible to humankind. 

The curtains are too white and cannot, for the sake of it, do its job covering away the sunlight from the room. It only filters the rays and sends some aesthetic feel to the room, none of which a currently-despicable Jeongyeon concerns herself of because she feels her throat excessively parched and her skull being cracked in half. 

She closes her eyes, brows furrowed together, in a futile attempt of internally pleading for her brain to keep its shit together. 

From the excruciating headache, the vomit taste in her mouth, and the dehydrated feeling, Jeongyeon figures she must have been drunk dead last night with Bona. Her throat feels like sandpaper and moving an inch of her body feels like it’s too much work. 

Jeongyeon miserably opens her eyes again and only realizes, after a whole minute of chastising herself for her _awful_ life decisions, she’s not in the right room. 

She looks down on the bed she’s on. It has clean, vanilla-smelling white sheets, definitely not Seungyeon’s coverless bed Jeongyeon’s slept on the other night. The walls are blindingly white, too much for someone like Seungyeon who’d prefer warm white than any color in the world. 

_Magnolia citrus._ It smells like Magnolia citrus. Jeongyeon’s head may feel like it’s got an axe down to the middle, but her senses still work and her nose never fails her. 

Seungyeon uses a _For Her_ Mercedes Benz perfume. _White Floral._

This isn’t Seungyeon’s house.

The thought is overhwleming, and Jeongyeon feels another wave of excruciating headache hit her like an iceberg, eliciting a yelp from her lips. “Ah!” She holds tightly around her head, as if piecing it back together—to no avail. 

She must have been too focused on gluing her skull together to notice the movement beside her, the bed dipping and the covers ruffling. Warm pads of soft fingers grab a hold of her hand, and Jeongyeon freezes. 

_Who the fuck—_

She opens her eyes and sees a pair of half-asleep brown orbs looking at her worryingly. Jeongyeon’s too taken aback to respond when soft hands tug at her hands, pulling them away from the hold she has on her own head. 

Nayeon’s voice is raspy and half asleep. “Does your head hurt?” 

Jeongyeon can’t even find herself to react, not because of the hangover but because Nayeon’s beside her, they’re on a bed—perhaps even Nayeon’s bed—and…well, Nayeon’s _beside_ her on a bed.”

At the lack of response, Nayeon’s eyes open a little more. It’s like the silence has waken her up. She’s a little more aware now of the situation. “Oh, right…” with that, she removes her hold on Jeongyeon’s hand—it feels empty, suddenly—and reaches over to the bedside table to get the Ibuprofen and a glass of water. 

“Here, drink this.” 

Jeongyeon blinks first, still dumbfounded, before grabbing the pill on Nayeon’s palm and the glass of water, chugging the tiny thing down in one go, a little to desperately for her liking. 

Once that’s done, they wait for a few more seconds before Nayeon asks, “How do you feel now?” 

Jeongyeon’s still thinking if this is all just a dream. She doesn’t have the guts to break it therefore she doesn’t do anything and just…stares at the beauty in front of her. 

Nayeon’s hair is disheveled probably from sleep, tiny baby hairs sticking out. Her face is devoid of any touch of makeup, completely bare with traces of sleep everywhere—her lids a little too heavier and the bags under her eyes a little too visible. 

She’s dressed in her favorite white silk sleeping gown, with one strap falling off her shoulder carelessly. Jeongyeon looks dangerously downwards where she sees a galaxy of small freckles and moles painted perfectly on the canvas that is Nayeon’s _really-good-looking_ body. 

Jeongyeon gulps a huge invisible boulder down her throat. _Please don’t ever wake me up from this dream._

The headache is slowly subsiding; Jeongyeon concentrates more on admiring the priceless art before her. The bed is unkempt; traces of them are left everywhere, two phones on the stand by Nayeon’s side, two pairs of slippers haphazardly at the other side of the room, and Jeonyeon’s padded coat hanging on the edge of the bed. 

_Please don’t ever wake me up._

“Jeong…” Nayeon reaches out for Jeongyeon’s cheek. The moment her soft pads touch Jeongyeon’s skin, the younger woman feels a shiver down her spine. She closes her eyes momentarily before opening them again, trying to make sure she’s not dreaming.

_You’re still here…_

Jeongyeon leans in to the touch. 

“Are you okay, babe?” 

Jeongyeon nods and closes her eyes again, reeling in the sensation of feeling Nayeon’s angelic touch again. “Please don’t ever wake me up from this dream.” 

It doesn’t take long before Jeongyeon feels another hand on her cheek. Nayeon’s holding her close. Jeongyeon can smell her magnolia perfume intensify. 

A light chuckle escapes the older woman’s lips. “You’re not dreaming, baby.” And the ghost of a kiss soon leaves its mark on her cheeks.

Jeongyeon opens her eyes, unable to form any words by just a mere kiss from the girl. Nayeon’s face is barely an inch away from Jeongyeon’s, it’s tempting the younger woman to ask for another dreamy, chaste kiss.

Thankfully, Nayeon lies back down on the bed and pulls the duvet up to her shoulders, her head and the nest of disheveled hair the only ones poking out for Jeongyeon to see ( _thankfully because those shoulders will be the death of her)_.

Without a word, Jeongyeon only watches Nayeon do her thing, until the older woman pats the space previously occupied and asks for her to lie back down as well. Jeongyeon does so without any hesitation, suddenly too entranced by the magic of Nayeon’s kiss and touch.

The moment Jeongyeon’s head meets the soft white pillows, she feels sleep slowly lure her in. It gets harder to stay awake when Nayeon pulls out her hand from under the covers and rests it on Jeongyeon’s hair, fingers finding themselves running through tangled strands.

The whole ordeal is too surreal for Jeongyeon to believe in, it’s hard not to think of anything that can possibly pull her back down to earth.

“Did…something happen last night?” Don’t get Jeongyeon wrong, _something_ happening between her and Nayeon is not a _bad_ thing—God, no—but it happening when she’s drunk and barely thinking is not something Nayeon deserves. They’ve done _it_ before— _countless_ of times—but never a time when one of them—or both—are not fully sober.

Surprisingly, a soft, hazy chuckle escapes Nayeon’s lips. “You mean, did we fuck?”

The choice of words opens Jeongyeon’s eyes. She sees Nayeon’s ethereal face a safe distance away, her own eyes now closed but she’s still awake—barely—a smile tugging the corners of her lips.

“Uh…”

Nayeon’s fingers leave Jeongyeon’s tousled hair and make their way down to her cheek, a thumb brushing softly against warm, flustered cheeks.

“We didn’t.”

Jeongyeon lets out a breath she didn’t know she’s even holding back.

Nayeon opens her eyes. “…unfortunately…”

Jeongyeon chokes.

The panic in the younger woman’s face elicits a chuckle from Nayeon. She’s having way too much fun with this. “How could we when you were half-dead from all the drinking you did with Bona?”

The memory of heavily partying and drinking hits Jeongyeon like an iceberg. “Ugh. That was embarrassing.”

“Do you remember anything else that happened last night?”

Jeongyeon shakes her head. Her memory is in fragments right now, disordered and very much dehydrated. “Other than drinking my problems away, none.”

“Problems?” Nayeon frowns, worry evident in the way her brows furrow and her lips purse. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

Jeongyeon remembers the article and the pictures of her plastered on the news website. She contemplates whether it’s better not to tell Nayeon but who is she kidding? One way or another, Nayeon will find out and eventually fret more.

“I think the whole Korea knows who I am already…”

The frown on Nayeon’s face only deepens. “What do you mean?”

“Last night, there was an article about me with pictures of us together. They called me…uh…your sugarbaby…”

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions on Nayeon’s face. For a few seconds she’s confused, then she’s smug, and now she’s laughing her ass off, smiling widely with her too bunny teeth showing proudly.

Jeongyeon would have loved to kiss that smile if only she wasn’t busy frowning at her… _girlfriend?_

“It’s not funny!”

Nayeon laughs. “It kind of is, baby.”

“Stop calling me that!” Jeongyeon whines and pulls the duvet over to her face. She badly doesn’t want to embarrass herself here but her cheeks are betraying her.

“What? Does it add more to the sugarmommy aura?” Nayeon grabs the cover and pulls it down to reveal Jeongyeon’s flustered face. She smiles at the view. “I don’t mind being called that.”

It’s a tease, really, especially when Nayeon sits up on the bed with the strap of her gown falling off her shoulder again. She ties her hair into a messy bun and looks down on the flustered girl beside her.

“But if it bothers you, do you want me to talk to the press about it?”

Jeongyeon ponders about it. She nods, watches as Nayeon slowly pulls the covers off herself and steps out of her bed. Only then does Jeongyeon realize how the whole situation is too surreal for her.

_This is a fucking dream._

The sleeping gown falls along Nayeon’s thigh, a side hiking up when she slips off the bed. Tall slender legs make their way to the bunny slippers on the floor. “I’ll have breakfast prepared. Do you want some coffee?”

Jeongyeon’s too busy pinching herself to even answer back. _This must be a dream._

Nayeon reads right through her. “Coffee it is then”, she mumbles before walking around the bed and stopping beside Jeongyeon. She leans down and presses a soft kiss on the younger woman’s crown.

“This isn’t dream, by the way.” She chuckles before strutting out. “You’re very much awake.”

Jeongyeon is left flustered to herself. _Fuck. It’s not a dream._

_***_

It takes Jeongyeon more than necessary time to get her shit together and slide off Nayeon’s bed.

The smell of toast and coffee lingers in the cold breeze of the winter morning, sliding into the room through the windows left idle to the side. The coldness bites at Jeongyeon’s skin as her feet touch the carpeted floor.

She takes in the beauty of Nayeon’s bedroom from where she’s standing.

Back in college, the older woman stayed at a modest dorm near their campus. It was only a room connected to a slightly larger room Nayeon converted into a living space and a kitchen all together. They used to eat take-outs on the cheap coffee table the older woman managed to buy at a thrift shop. It was tiny and most of the time unkempt, but Jeongyeon knew two homes back then. One was Nayeon’s modest yet messy dorm, the other was in Nayeon’s arms.

Jeongyeon takes a good look at Nayeon’s room now.

For one, her bedroom now is definitely bigger than Jeongyeon’s entire whole living room and kitchen floor area combined. It had cream-colored walls accentuated by dark-colored furniture Jeongyeon is sure are most probably more expensive than her entire house in Mitan.

The entire room is clean and organized except for the traces of Jeongyeon and Nayeon on the bed. Other than the essential furniture found in bedrooms, the new room is completely bereft of anything that can possibly reflect its owner’s character. Not a picture frame, wall décor, or even any trace of _trash_ found in sight.

The whole place looks more of a showcase room in a real estate agent’s office than an actual person’s bedroom.

Jeongyeon tries to reason out, maybe Nayeon’s just moved in. She’s a full-time actress and idol, adding interior designing in her schedule is a little too much already. Whatever the reason is, it can wait. Jeongyeon can already feel her stomach grumbling and eating her from the inside out.

Without a moment of hesitation, Jeongyeon finds her center of gravity and waits for the world to stop spinning first before making her way out into Nayeon’s hallway.

Unlike the room, the hallway has colder tiled flooring and looks warmer. There are frames of paintings from artists whose names Jeongyeon will never be able to pronounce, and some actual plants gracing the way.

It feels like an eternity of admiring every nook and crany of Nayeon’s _hallway_ when Jeongyeon arrives in the open area, a conjunction between the spacious living room with the overlooking floor-to-ceiling glass windows and the comtemporary kitchen with everything marble and granite.

Nayeon’s there, seated on one of the kitchen stools with a half-bitten apple in hand; there are expensive-looking dinnerware set on the countertop, cradling some French toast and European butter, and a giant coffee mug.

“Have some breakfast first”, Nayeon gestures over the plates prepared. Jeongyeon feels like she’s in the set of Princess Diaries with the expensive treatment she’s getting.

The younger woman finds herself sitting down on the kitchen stool in front of Nayeon. Unlike the room, the kitchen area is dimly-lit but still offers an exquisite view of the mountains and the city from Hannam.

Jeongyeon only looks at the food options before her. It’s just some toast, butter, and coffee, but the whole thing still looks expensive, as if she’d get charged just by touching the equally-expensive-looking glassware.

“I made your coffee with two sugars and a dash of milk”, Nayeon mumbles, pushing the mug of coffee over to Jeongyeon. “Just the way I remember you like it.”

There’s a familiar tickling sensation in Jeongyeon’s stomach when Nayeon offers her the most beautiful sight in the entire universe. Jeongyeon would trade everything for this moment: Nayeon in front of her, in that _dangerous_ white strapped sleeping gown, hair in a messy bun with some baby strands dangling, offering her coffee just the way she liked it, while they trade stories of anything and everything.

This is the world Jeongyeon would love to live in forever.

_Too bad it can’t be true._

“I…uh, thank you…” somehow, Jeongyeon feels like she has to hold back whatever _this_ is. She’s in Nayeon’s world now, and they’re no longer Jeongyeon and Nayeon from Mitan, the ones in their own world with their friends, just living the simple life.

This is Nayeon’s world—a fast-paced life, people who don’t know their limits, expensive cars and houses, money, business, _everything._ This is Nayeon’s world. Jeongyeon knows where she belongs and where she doesn’t.

Jeongyeon takes the mug of coffee and a piece of toast quietly all the while fighting the insignificant headache away.

The air envelopes the two women in a thick blanket of silence and implicit unfamiliarity, far different from the bare atmosphere that cuddled them back in Nayeon’s room, on Nayeon’s bed, with Nayeon’s hand on Jeongyeon’s cheek, just loving and unadorned.

Jeongyeon quietly chews on her toast as gracefully as she can, and Nayeon only watches her, feeling her own stomach clench at their proximity and intimacy.

This is a morning she wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.

“Do you really not remember anything from last night?”

Jeongyeon subtly chokes on her small bite of toast at Nayeon’s words. She looks up from her plate. “Huh…?”

Nayeon only smiles warmheartedly at her and leans closer over the countertop separating them. For a moment there, Jeongyeon feels her breath hitch.

The older woman reaches her hand out and brushes her thumb across the side of Jeongyeon’s lip. “You still eat like a kid”, she mumbles before sitting back down. “Were you drinking too heavily with Bona that you don’t remember anything that happened afterwards?”

Jeongyeon is too dumbfounded to even think of any word to respond with. She only nods her head because that’s exactly what she can remember. _I drank with Bona and now I think I’m dead but not really._

And then it hits her. “Wait a minute”, Jeongyeon pauses. “How did I get here?”

Nayeon laughs. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask...” She stands up and walks over to the sink to wash her hands. “Bona and the security guard dropped you off here last night.”

Jeongyeon should be thinking of how embarrassing she must have been, how much trouble she put the poor guard on shift at for making him carry drunken ass over to Nayeon’s place, or how Nayeon must have been exhausted and yet she had to deal with Jeongyeon—but no, that’s not what Jeongyeon’s deeply thinking about right now, _hell no_.

“It wasn’t a dream…” Jeongyeon mumbles a little too loud for only her ears to hear.

Nayeon chuckles and turns around with a smug look on her face. “You mean, the time you woke up and saw your two ex-girlfriends together?”

Jeongyeon only gapes at her like a fish. The shock is an adorably funny sight.

“Yep”, Nayeon pops the “P” sound with a snicker. “It was very much not a dream, Jeong.”

“How…what…what happened?”

Jeongyeon can’t even fathom the mere thought of Bona and Nayeon in one room.

A smile graces Nayeon’s lips. It’s not the fond one Jeongyeon always gets to be the receiving end of, nor the really happy— _bunny—_ one Nayeon sports when she’s super duper happy and laughing her ass off. This smile is almost smug, shit-eating for the lack of better term.

Frankly, it’s scaring Jeongyeon.

“We actually…had fun together.”

Jeongyeon only blinks as she thinks of a thousand of possible meanings behind Nayeon’s _“fun”._

(Back in university, Nayeon dragged Jeongyeon out for some “fun” and they ended up running away from the police that had to stop Jackson’s _dangerous_ frat party. It’s safe to say that Nayeon’s definition of “fun” is quite different.)

“Don’t worry, Jeong.” Nayeon chuckles. “It was nothing. We just really got to know each other.”

***

(“This is awkward…” It leaves Nayeon’s lips in a partially amused, partially weirded out tenor. Gracing her kitchen is Bona who had just walked in after carrying a heavily drunken Jeongyeon to the sofa.

Bona, Nayeon looks at her meticulously (and discreetly) from head to toe, is clad in simple ripped jeans and a basic white tee tucked underneath. She has sneakers on and her hair is naturally cascading down her broad shoulders.

 _Fuck. She still looks like a supermodel._ Nayeon briefly ponders on calling Tzuyu in for some backup.

“I…uh, I’m sorry we had to meet under such…unconventional circumstances…” Her voice sounds soft and modest now; totally conflicting from the character Nayeon built her up to be.

_I expect a bitch. Why am I getting this?_ Nayeon, to be frank, feels disappointed but also relieved. She peptalked herself in front of a mirror for nothing (Bona’s pictures were literally screaming That Bitch™ vibe) because the version of Bona in front of her now just reminds her of Mina, rich and composed Mina.

All of Nayeon’s silent contemplating and realizations elicit an awkward tension in the kitchen, prompting Bona to clear her throat. It’s weird; the older woman in front is staring at her…

“Um”, she trails off, gesturing for the door. “I’ll just…find my out…”

Nayeon returns back to reality. It’s a spur of the moment thing, her adrenaline working its way in her system because this moment might be the first and last chance she gets some time with Bona, so when she thinks of telling the younger girl to stay, she blurts it out almost immediately and a little too vigorously.

Bona only blinks at her, obviously taken aback by the upsurge and the idea. “What…?”

Nayeon only realizes then how totally unnecessary and flustering her idea sounds like. Bona’s probably asking herself now what the need for her to stay is when this is obviously a really weird situation, not to mention, (technically speaking) their _ex_ is literally passed out in the other room.

The idol thinks this is probably the best time to make up some stupid excuse to wiggle her way out of total embarrassment in front of this wonderfully perfect woman, but her mind is totally stretched out from the entire day’s activities, and lying would probably just get her nowhere, so Nayeon decides maybe this is the perfect time to be straightforward.

“I just want to get to know you?”

Bona, however, looks like she’s staring at a two-headed monster. She’s definitely staggered.

If we’re talking about Nayeon’s self-esteem here, it’s absolutely fluctuated into nothingness by now. She just handled a whole day of her manager’s foul sex jokes and strenuous activities. Bona declining this sudden idea is the final constituent to Nayeon’s total character destruction.

Remarkably though…

“Yeah, okay…” Bona nods, sounds like she’s talking to herself more than she is to Nayeon. She remains standing on her feet, stuck between the hallway that leads to both the living room and the kitchen where Nayeon is seated, legs crossed and vehemently fidgeting underneath.

They remain like that, frozen in the tension of the room, unsettled eyes glancing unceremoniously around the room, avoiding meeting each other’s gaze. The atmosphere is heavy, as if _they_ were the ones who dated and did not have the best break-up.

Nayeon’s beginning to regret her decisions now…

“So…you and Jeongyeon--…”

“I have something to say…”

Bona and Nayeon only blink at each other for a few seconds, flabbergasted,, until the idol speaks up, “You go first.”

Bona doesn’t even decline the offer anymore. If anything, she’s missed the opportunity to talk to Jeongyeon about what she’s wanted to say, so now that she has Nayeon’s attention, she won’t miss out anymore.

She explains the context of their meetup first. Nayeon looks like she’s intently listening and Bona, for the life of her, cannot decipher the look on the older woman’s face. She just hopes the night ends a little better.

“Bottom line is: I’m sorry.”

Nayeon can’t even fathom the emotions inside of her right now. She’s infuriated, confused, and pitiful at the same time. She lets Bona continue.

“I was the one who told Ryoma where you were.” If the tension was heavy earlier, this time it just got worse. “I was mad and I thought sabotaging any chances of you and Jeong getting back together would be the only way for me to relieve myself of that envy.”

Nayeon feels the need to speak thing out. “But… _you_ broke up with Jeongyeon before--…”

“I know that but so did you”, Bona’s voice rises a little. She sees the way Nayeon throws daggers at her with her eyes. “…but that’s not my point, Nayeon.” Bona tones down her voice. “I was envious because you already have it all and yet you still want more. And obviously, Jeongyeon wanted you too. And I didn’t have that. I couldn’t. She loved you and not me.”

There’s a boulder somewhere on Nayeon’s shoulders that feels like it was taken off her.

Bona looks down. Suddenly, the tiles looked more appealing than anything in her vantage point. “That was why I felt the need to sabotage you at all cost. I anonymously had someone send your location to Ryoma, which was how he found you.”

Somehow, the confession didn’t feel aggravating. Nayeon already knew what Bona was capable of just by Chaeyoung’s stories, which was maybe why finding out she was the one responsible for Ryoma’s sudden intrusion in her fairytale life didn’t, at all, infuriate her. Frankly, it felt like a wave of relief after holding her breath for so long.

“I…I wanted to tell that to Jeongyeon and apologize but she got drunk and now we’re here, and this is absolutely the weirdest encounter in my entire life and --…”

“I didn’t expect you’d be the type to ramble.”

That shuts the younger woman up. Nayeon’s voice is soft but heavy, something that tells Bona to actually zip her mouth. She’s _that bitch_ , but Nayeon’s definitely a whole new level of That Bitch™.

“Look, Bona”, Nayeon trails off, trying to figure out how to articulate what she wants to say. “I don’t like you, but somehow, you remind me of myself. And I hate you for doing what you did, but that’s in the past now. If Jeongyeon can manage to live a life with you in it and somehow not feel awkward, then I can too.”

“And I agree with that”, Bona quips. “I know this is too much for me to ask but, can…can we not become enemies?”

In a society that sees friendship with the _ex_ as an oddity, Nayeon feels one of a kind. The prospect of befriending—or at least, not making Bona her enemy—doesn’t look so bad.

Nayeon nods. “I think that’s a good idea.” She’s going to be the bigger person here. “There’s absolutely no need for us to hate each other and always be at each other’s throats, right?” Bona agrees with a silent nod.)

***

Jeongyeon feels giddy at the thought of Bona and Nayeon _actually_ befriending each other. _Well talk about modern friendship…_

“Also, she told me what she was supposed to tell you last night before you got drunk off your ass.”

That gets Jeongyeon’s attention. She can recall everything _before_ the happening but can’t, for the life of her, remember anything _after_ getting drunk, and that includes whatever it is Bona was _trying_ to tell her from the beginning that resulted them their night at the tacky club.

“What did she tell you?”

Nayeon grins and there it goes again, the shit-eating snicker of hers. “You are never going to believe it.”

***

(“But...” Nayeon ponders, however. “I do have a question.”

“What?”

“Why the sudden want to not become enemies?” Nayeon lets out a chuckle. “I get that you want to be the bigger person, but isn’t it dull to not have some rivalry? Not that I’m asking for it. I was just…wondering.”

“Because…” This is it, Bona thinks. Behind her need to talk to Jeongyeon is the reason she’s been afraid to confront. Of all the people she has to face this issue with, it’s the last person she expected to be with that she has now. “I owe you what I have now.”

Nayeon only answers with a puzzled frown.

Bona takes a deep breath. “I met someone.”

Oh…Nayeon won’t lie; her heart’s doing somersaults now. She’s finally got Bona off her back. “Should I know who…?”

Bona gulps. “I think you should.”)

***

“So you’re telling me, Bona’s seeing someone already?”

Jeongyeon can’t wrap her mind at the thought of Bona potentially having a relationship with someone already. It’s not that it’s new to her, it’s just that all these years Bona busied herself over getting back together with Jeongyeon, it’s an unfamiliar feeling finding out Bona’s now done with all the chasing.

Nayeon shrugs her shoulder. “They’re not _officially_ dating. At least, I don’t think so…”

The thought of Ryoma and Bona together sends an unalike shiver down Jeongyeon’s spine. Ryoma, Nayeon’s reserved fake ex-boyfriend, who looks like that hunky unrealistic nerd in teen chick flicks, together with her very own actual ex-girlfriend, a typical social butterfly? _What a combination._

“And she wanted to tell me that?”

Nayeon nods slowly. “Maybe she just wants some closure? I don’t know.” She shrugs. “But I appreciate her for going to us first. It’s unnecessary, yes, but come to think of it, it’s such a happenstance, you know?”

 _Definitely._ Jeongyeon thinks as she begins taking small sips from the mug of the most delicious coffee ever. Nayeon wasn’t lying when she said she remembered Jeongyeon’s coffee prefernces. _This tastes like home._

For a brief minute, the two women are wrapped in a light blanket of atmosphere. The morning is nice with the breeze and the overall ambiance, but it’s more beautiful when Nayeon sees the woman in front of her, looking like home.

Her phone, unfortunately, breaks the blisfful stillness with its short notifying chime. Nayeon sees Yubin’s name on her screen and remembers today’s her first recording day for her appearance in Hello Counselor.

Nayeon lets out a frustrated sigh that doesn’t get overlooked by her partner.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…it’s just that…” There’s a boulder in Nayeon’s throat that holds her back from telling Jeongyeon that she has to go and dive back into her world of notoriety and pretentiousness.

She doesn’t want Jeongyeon to feel left out in her world because it’s a pretty known fact by now that Jeongyeon _is_ Nayeon’s world.

The uncertain glances switching between her phone and Jeongyeon immediately answers the latter’s question. It doesn’t take much to understand the ordeal. “You have to go?”

Nayeon feels awful for nodding. “It’s…uh…a filming for--…” but her words get cut short when Jeongyeon steps off the kitchen stool and finishes her lukewarm mug of coffee in one chug, as if in a hurry.

“It won’t take me long to pack up and go.” The younger woman speaks incoherently with her toast-filled mouth and the crumbs falling down from her lips. “I can just get my things and then run off to unnie’s place so you can--…”

“Hey…” Nayeon trails off, tone soft and affectionate. She treads over to Jeongyeon’s place and stops right in front of the younger woman, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around on until they’re face to face. “I don’t mind you staying.”

The bare proximity is different now that they’re standing and very much not sleep-induced. “Uh…It’s really not…uh, a problem…for me to…”

Jeongyeon’s a fucking disaster. Nayeon chuckles and finds it the most adorable sight in the world.

It’s a well-known fact by now that Jeongyeon, when flustered, stammers and is basically panicked gay, so the only _certain_ action towards this situation is Nayeon’s own way of handling Yoo Jeongyeon: physical contact.

Her arms aren’t that heavy, but she makes sure she hears a grunt from the younger woman when she places them on Jeongyeon’s shoulders and pulls her close, interlocking both behind Jeongyeon’s head.

Nayeon assures herself that they’re barely a foot away from each other’s face, Jeongyeon’s breath hitching. The idol’s next move depends solely on intimate proximity.

“Come with me.” It leaves as a breathy whisper of desperation from her lips, eyes eagerly searching for a response when no one comes out of Jeongyeon’s mouth.

 _This is addiction,_ Nayeon thinks, as she stares at Jeongyeon’s tempting lips.

“Uh…” Jeongyeon _tries_ badly to crane her neck and move her head, or simply just look away for a single second because Nayeon’s eyes are ocean currents pulling her in and drowning her. She fails miserably and stays looking into the depths of Nayeon’s soul. “Your manager might not like it if I--...”

“Yubin unnie won’t give a damn.” Nayeon interjects with a playful roll of her eyes. If anything, Yubin’s _definitely_ just going to enjoy this amusement of hers, of meeting Nayeon’s famous _lover._ “She’ll love to meet you.”

The hairs on the back of Jeongyeon’s neck only rises when Nayeon—if it were even possible—moves closer, limiting the distance between their faces. The smell of magnolia lingers in the air, sweet and citrust, just like the way Nayeon makes Jeongyeon feel.

_This isn’t you. You’re suave. Why are you such a mess in front of Nayeon? Come on, Jeongyeon, think of something…_

“You’ve been telling her about me?”

_Good job._

A smirk tugs at the corner of Nayeon’s lips. “Maybe…” and then she moves closer until they’re barely an inch away from each other’s face. Jeongyeon is knocked out. “Uh…but your producers might get annoyed at you for bringing an outsider to the filming--…”

“I’m sure they won’t care.” Nayeon leans closer. Her nose brushes against Jeongyeon’s. “But I care.”

“About me showing up and potentially ruining your filming and your entire career by--…”

“Definitely no”, Nayeon groans. It’ll only take one last step for her to satiate her addiction to Jeongyeon’s lips. “I care about this.”

“About what--…”

Nayeon takes her step and closes the distance between them. Jeongyeon’s lips set fire to her heart, obliterated any thought of the past or the future. All that mattered is now, the sweet morning of Jeongyeon’s lips on hers, of coffees with her, and perhaps more everydays. The kiss was the end of a loop, like a shower on a hot summer day.

Warm lips pressed against Jeongyeon’s. Her eyes widen and it took approximately three seconds to realize Nayeon is kissing her and a further three seconds to realize that she’s kissing her back. Her eyes have fluttered shut and in the darkness she sees fireworks exploding, her heart bursting.

Nayeon’s managed to find her hands on the small of Jeongyeon’s back, and the kiss deepens into something _more_ intense and passionate, and Jeongyeon feels like she’s forgotten how to kiss— _French_ at that—until their moment is broken.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Nayeon knows once an athlete, always an athlete, but the way Jeongyeon pushes herself off Nayeon is a little too strong and a little too fast, it sends her undone and deeply disgruntled. Yubin is definitely going to get it once they’re alone.

“What?” Her voice is a little too cold, far from the tone she uses on Jeongyeon—who’s still extremely embarrassed by the corner, cheeks flushed and lips quivering—and slightly longing.

Yubin’s flabbergasted expression turns into a cheeky one. “You didn’t tell me you had company, Nayeon…”

“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Yubin walks towards the two women. “Since when did I ever tell you I was dropping by?”

Nayeon only rolls her eyes. “Whatever…”

Affairs with her idol are forgotten for a moment as Yubin slides over to Jeongyeon’s space and offers a hand as a greeting. “Hello, you must be Nayeon’s lover. I’m Yubin, her manager.”

Jeongyeon takes a deep breath and shakes the hand with her very own trembling, cold-sweating ones. “Uh, hello…?”

“I apologize for interrupting your makeout session but may I please just hand this over to my client?” Yubin raises the folder in her hold. “It’s for the filming in…” she checks her wristwatch. “…a few hours.”

Jeongyeon doesn’t know what to respond with that. “Uh…”

Nayeon, thankfully, comes to her rescue. What’s this?” She grabs the folder in a swift move, strong and calculated.

Jeongyeon only watches in amazement at the switch that turns Nayeon into the flirtatious woman she just woke up in bed with, to the strong and independent woman who won’t take any shit from other people.

(At some point, it makes Jeongyeon’s heart flutter because she’s the only one allowed to see Nayeon’s _other_ side)

“It’s the script for later...” Yubin trails off. When Nayeon begins going through the thick bunch of papers in a perfected focused frown, Jeongyeon counts this as her cue to quietly walk away from the scene.

She wouldn’t want to get in the way of Nayeon’s other side.

***

“You must be kidding me right now.”

Yubin shakes her head. “Unfortunately, no.”

Nayeon closes her eyes and tries to control her temper down. Jeongyeon’s headache must be slowly getting transferred over to her because there is definitely a migraine creeping in.

The production crew only sends out the storyline of the episode for the guests. Most of the storylines are randomly picked out, and guests aren’t given the chance to find out before signing in the contract of the appearance.

Nayeon’s VIP pass into hysteria was signed the moment she got into Byeol Entertainment. Any variety show they want her to guest in, she’ll have to do so because it’s in her contract.

Under normal circumstances, Nayeon would definitely not complain. Hello Counselor, although not her favorite, is one of the easiest shows to be in. She doesn’t have to pretend too much, only needs to sit back, listen, and _counsel._

This, however, is just fucked up.

“I think that man really just hates you this much.” Yubin frowns at the thought of the wicked man that is Byeol’s CEO and her boss. “I mean, this is just so unprofessional of him to--…”

“You know what, bullshit.” Nayeon keeps the script back into the folder and holds it tight. “If he’s going to trash me with this, then let him be. This is actually…an opportunity for me to use.”

The mischievous grin on her client’s face makes Yubin frown evern more. “What are you planning, little rascal?”

The condition is fucking simple: Hello Counselor’s Christmas Episode is titled “My Secret Romance”. The title pretty much explains everything. It’s about a woman coming for counseling regarding her seemingly secret relationship. According to the storyline Nayeon’s just read, it was purely a one-sided decision, and the woman is now coming forward regarding the issue.

On a normal occurrence, Nayeon would have simply deduced everything to one advice: Break up with the twit.

And then she realizes where she’s at, the role she’s playing, and the life she’s living, and decides how insincere she is for giving out such an advice when she’s practically lived and underwent the same situation.

“I’m doing this.” Nayeon utters with such confidence. “If they think this is going to ruin my career, I’ll drag them down with me.”

***

Jeongyeon steps out of Nayeon’s bathroom, wiping her mouth and face clean after washing them, just in time for the owner of said room to enter with a growl and a charismatic arrival. “You’re going with me to the filming.”

The words are eager and strong, a little different from the bare Nayeon before Jeongyeon earlier. “What?”

Nayeon moves over to another door Jeongyeon didn’t even notice was there. She slides it open and reveals a whole new hallway—it’s Nayeon’s walk-in closet. “I want to tell you something. You have to see it.”

“Can’t you tell it now?” Jeongyeon only follows behind, confused. She sees hangers and hangers of designer clothes that can probably buy Jeongyeon’s entire existence.

Nayeon pulls out jeans and a Henley top. “No.” She moves towards the bed and places them down on the edge. Jeongyeon only watches the older woman move around the room, grabbing jewelry and a pair of shoes.

“But this is your world and I don’t really want to intrude and--…” She tries to say something and catch up before Nayeon enters the bathroom with a towel in hand.

To her shock, the woman walks over to her and, quite roughly, presses a lingering kiss on her lips.

_Intoxicating._

“You’re my world, Jeongyeon.” Nayeon looks into Jeongyeon’s eyes, foreheads resting against each other. “Give me this chance to prove that to you.”

“You don’t have to--…”

“I want to, okay?”

Jeongyeon has nothing with that. The way Nayeon looks at her, as if she’s the most valuable thing in the world, the most important humanbeing to walk the planet, it sends her to a soundless state. (And besides, the ghost of Nayeon’s lips has completely left her own numb and _wanting_ more)

“We can be true.” Nayeon utters, all of a sudden, out of the blue.

It gets Jeongyeon frowning. “What?”

“You made a wish last night, before we slept.” Nayeon brushes the pad of her thumb over Jeongyeon’s cheek, looking into her eyes. “You told me, ‘I hope we can be true’.” Jeongyeon doesn’t remember anything, but the sincerity in Nayeon’s eyes has her lips sealed and her doubts kept away,

_I hope we can be true._

“This is me telling the entire universe”, Nayeon looks at the entirety of her existence. “We can be true, Yoo Jeongyeon.”

_We can happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the second to the last chapter, by the way HAHA 
> 
> Also, i love you guys :(


	17. On Fame, Love, and Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're not in Mitan anymore, not hidden behind the walls of her small, ragged home, able to feel what they feel and do what they want to do. This is Nayeon's world, all fast-paced, brutally-honest, and cruelly-undesirable of it. 
> 
> This is the world Jeongyeon doesn't belong in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter has come. Calc you later ;)

  
_“This morning, with her, having coffee.”_

_\- Johnny Cash,  
when asked his definition of paradise._

***

**5 years ago.**

_  
When Jihyo told her to just come in, Jeongyeon was sure it would be a bad idea._

_Out of all their friends, Park Jihyo had always been the dream-chaser, the most determined woman Jeongyeon ever knew. It was no surprise that Jihyo’s parents entrusted her a whole company to run alongside her sister._

_At first, Jeongyeon teased her a lot and joked around, calling said company a “start-up”, and that Jihyo would basically just man the front desk or something like that, but here is Jeongyeon now, slapped on the face by the expensive interior of the **Park M &J Group **lobby, complete with four entrance and exit doors—the automatic swiveling ones—four sets of waiting areas—one of which where Jeongyeon is currently waiting at—and a whole company of security bouncers at all corners. _

_Jeongyeon has never felt so amazed and embarrassed at the same time. Not only has Jihyo unknowingly shoved her unparalleled success at her face, but she’s also very much sticking out like a sour thumb in this place._

_Clad in knee-length khaki shorts and a striking **I LOVE JAPAN** shirt, and her grandmother’s old Samsonite travel luggage standing beside her, Jeongyeon realizes then how completely unprepared she is for everything that happens in her life. _

_“Ya! Yoo Jeongyeon!”_

_If there’s one thing Jeongyeon is thankful of, it’s the fact that despite her skyrocketing success in a flick of a finger, Park Jihyo is still the same old equally-embarrassing loser Jeongyeon knows._

_“Ya yourself!” Jeongyeon stands up and greets Jihyo with an excruciating hug. Jihyo smells like business suits and stilletos, and fancy escorts who drive their luxury cars for them. She smells expensive and totally out of Jeongyeon’s league._

_But they make this work._

_Jihyo pulls away with a huff and a playful roll of her eyes. She looks at Jeongyeon from head to toe and lets out the most obnoxious laugh ever. “Ya! Why do you look like a middle-aged tourist?”_

_It’s Jeongyeon’s turn to give her a dirty look now. “First of all, this is my grandma’s, and second, you didn’t tell me you were bringing me…” she leans in closer to whisper, “…to a place like this.”_

_Jihyo chuckles. “Oh, sorry for that.” She takes a good look around the lobby, with the good kind of pride plastered on her face and that wide Park Jihyo™ smile of hers. Jeongyeon will never get enough of that._

_When she faces Jeongyeon again, a small frown envelopes her face. “I’m sorry I couldn’t just go to you though. It’s the end of the month again and the company’s booked me with enough meetings as it is.”_

_Jeongyeon smiles. “It’s okay, Hyo. I needed a change of environment as well.”_

_They exchange a few more jokes—more on how Jihyo’s suddenly Sugarmommy worthy now—before Jihyo offers Jeongyeon a tour of the building under her name._

_“Let’s start with my office and then downwards, yes?” Jihyo grabs Jeongyeon’s travel luggage and begins hauling it behind her, much to Jeongyeon’s disparity._

_They make their way to the elevators—five of them—and to Jeongyeon’s not-so-surprise, Jihyo heads for the one elevator alone in the corner, with a huge man guarding beside it and a giant **Executive Elevator** sign hanging above. _

_The security guard greets Jihyo with a polite bow and does the same when Jeongyeon approaches behind the CEO-to-be._

_In no time, the elevator doors chime and slide open, revealing a glass interior with granite flooring and its very own elevator operator._

_“Good afternoon, ma’am.” The older-looking woman dressed in a uniform Jeongyeon likens to a stewardess’, greets with a smile and a bow of her head as Jihyo enter the luxurious-looking executive elevator._

_Jeongyeon is left staring in awe for a second there. The only time she was ever treated like a VIP was when she went to her father’s restaurant and all of the waiters there smiled at her. Smiled._

_With Jihyo, somehow, Jeongyeon feels like the President’s daughter._

_“Are you coming or not?” Jihyo’s voice breaks Jeongyeon’s thoughts. She shakes off her wonderment and walks inside the elevator, choosing to stand beside Jihyo as she admires the view of the entire lobby from the glass interior._

_She hears Jihyo tell the operator to head for her office, and judging by how long it takes and how high they are, Jeongyeon’s sure Jihyo’s office is at the topmost floor of the 40-storey building._

_***_

_Jihyo’s office is a penthouse suite with minimal furniture and overall interior. Most of the decorations are, by the looks of it, high-end and most likely worth more than Jeongyeon’s entire value, but there are still simple traces of Jihyo in every corner._

_“Why is your bike here?” Jeongyeon runs the pads of her fingers on Jihyo’s foldable bicycle, the one they bought together from a kind grandmother’s garage sale back in Gyeonggi._

_Jihyo busies herself by her desk, rummaging through a drawer full of papers and other important business stationery that Jeongyeon has half a mind to even bother thinking of._

_The soon-to-be CEO looks up. “Hmm?”_

_“I said: why is your bike still--…”_

_But the phone rings and cuts Jeongyeon off._

_Jihyo looks at her apologetically before answering the call. Jeongyeon focuses on admiring the paintings mounted on the wall, admires the intricacies of Jihyo’s life found in small pockets of the place—like her favorite ugg slippers by the side of her desk, or her favorite red blanket haphazardly discarded by the leather couch._

_Despite her success, Jihyo is still Jihyo. And Jeongyeon loves her for that._

_“What do you mean I have a meeting? Right now?” By the sound of Jihyo’s frustrated voice, Jeongyeon already knows their planned meeting will be cut short._

_The call lasts for another minute before Jihyo hangs up with a groan. She gazes towards her friend who has now found the company of her sofa and blanket, and almost lets out a word until said friend interjects._

_“Go.” Jeongyeon shoos her away with the flick of her wrist._

_From the looks of it, Jeongyeon seems more like a boss than Jihyo. “What?” the latter smiles._

_“Go to your meeting.” Jeongyeon stands up from the sofa and begins folding the blanket. “It sounds like it’s important.”_

_Jihyo hesitates with a pout. “You just arrived from Japan and I really want to spend some time with you…”_

_“Me as well, but you’re a soon-to-be CEO and I can’t **not** have a CEO as a best friend. Imagine losing the benefits!” _

_That elicits a laugh from Jihyo. “So you’re just using me, huh?”_

_Jeongyeon tucks the neatly-folded blanket to the side of the sofa. She playfully shrugs her shoulders. “Something like that…”_

_Jihyo rolls her eyes. She picks up her phone and her bag on her desk “Okay, then.” She walks over and gives Jeongyeon a tight, apologetic hug. “It’s just going to be a short meeting and then we’ll head out and I’ll treat you to some meat, okay?”_

_Jeongyeon playfully pushes her best friend away. “Yes, Miss CEO.”_

_Jihyo gives her a dirty glare. “Don’t lock yourself here. Go around the building.”_

_“You mean a personal tour? By myself?” The thought of potentially getting lost in a 40-storey building is very much not an amusing one for Jeongyeon._

_Jihyo fishes for her wallet from her bag and pulls out a black card. She hands it over to Jeongyeon. “That’s my access pass. You can use it all around the building and buy yourself some food at the cafeteria--…”_

_“You mean the organic one? The fancy cafeteria all over Naver?”_

_The excitement on Jeongyeon’s face prompts a giggle from Jihyo as she nods. “You don’t have to worry about the guards or anyone asking. I’ve already told the entire building about my special guest.”_

_Again, the benefits of Park Jihyo._

_“You’re better off my sugarmommy than my best friend…”_

_Now that gets Jihyo to cackle. “Ya! You’re older than me!” She jabs Jeongyeon with her fist._

_They walk out of Jihyo’s penthouse office and down the hall, towards the executive elevator that immediately opens the moment they stand in front of it._

_Again, the operator greets them with a polite bow, and this time asks where to. Jihyo tells her she’s off to the conference floor, and then turns to Jeongyeon, “How about you?”_

_Jeongyeon doesn’t even contemplate anymore. “Cafeteria, please.”_

_All Jihyo lets out is an incredulous huff and a roll of her eyes. As expected from Yoo Jeongyeon._

_***_

_They part ways when Jihyo gets off first, on the 33 rd floor. Jeongyeon smiles her goodbye and rides the elevator down to the 20th floor, where the famous fancy organic cafeteria is at. _

_At their arrival, she thanks the operator and steps out._

_A few steps down the hall directly ahead of the elevators are the giant doors leading to the cafeteria that takes up the entire two floors of the building, the 20 th and 21st. Jeongyeon has now idea which floor has the organic buffet so she’ll definitely explore the entire place first. _

_The door panels are translucent and made out of 8-feet-tall mahogany. The handle bars are gilded and there’s an access pad on the right side of the giant door._

_Jeongyeon slides the card on the surface of the access pad, eliciting a chime from the small device and a robotic voice saying, “Good Afternoon, Miss Park.”_

_The giant doors slide open, revealing heaven before Jeongyeon._

_(She makes a mental note to ask Jihyo for a job here)_

_The cafeteria is even better than the pictures on Naver. The entire interior is akin to a warm, soothing café, with warm white lighting and aesthetic furniture and decorations. There are tables scattered all over the place, and by the front area are the long tables where the food are placed._

_Much to Jeongyeon’s expectation, the cafeteria is slightly teeming like the usual hustle and bustle in office cafeterias in the afternoon. It’s only some time around two, after all._

_There’s quite a line by the buffet area, and Jeongyeon cranes her neck for a whole minute searching for a vacant table, but sees none._

_“Aish…” She mutters under her breath. Right on cue, her stomach groans for food. “Ugh.”_

_She left for Japan to visit her grandmother a month ago and stayed there for almost another month before flying back to Korea. Her parents gave her an ultimatum after realizing how hard their daughter’s life has been ever since the breakup._

_(“Why don’t you visit your grandmother and see if you like it there? If you do, then live with her.” Her father’s tone was soft, almost too uncharacteristic for the man Jeongyeon grew up admiring._

_Her mother stands beside him and grabs her hands. She holds it tight. “All we care about is your wellbeing, honey. If you think that it’s where you’ll heal, then we won’t stop you from leaving.”_

_The reassuring smiles from her parents and her two sisters were enough to send Jeongyeon to a roundtrip flight to Japan.)_

_Her return to Korea is only for the pure purpose of delivering her decision whether to stay or leave for a new life somewhere far away. Jeongyeon reminds herself of that every single time._

_“Excuse me?”_

_A woman’s voice breaks off her reverie._

_Jeongyeon looks behind her and sees a woman dressed in a chef’s uniform. Her name tag displays **Cho Okja**. Jeongyeon greets her with a bow of her head. _

_“Are you the guest of Miss Park?”_

_Jeongyeon hesitantly nods her head._

_A smile tugs at the lips of the woman. “Hello, I am Cho Okja, Miss Park’s Head Nutritionist. She left me instructions to usher you to the cafeteria’s executive lounge. It’s where you will be dining.”_

_Jeongyeon can only absentmindedly nod her head. A personal nutritionist and an executive lounge? Jeongyeon can’t wrap her mind around the thought of being so fortunate over having Jihyo as her best friend._

_“This way, please.”_

_Head Nutritionist Cho Okja leads Jeongyeon to the other side of the area, where they walk up a flight of stairs and arrive on the 21 st floor dining hall that’s barricaded by an aesthetic brick wall, another giant mahogany door, and an access pad. _

_Jeongyeon stands behind the nutritionist as the latter slides her own card over the pad. The doors slide open automatically with a robotic greeting, “Good Afternoon, Miss Cho.”_

_The executive lounge, compared to the cafeteria below them, is more sophisticated and expensive-looking, if that was even possible. Tables are granite and seats are leather and ranging from single chairs to actual sofas._

_Unlike the cafeteria which Okja refers to as “the public space”, the Executive Lounge is smaller in dining area but that’s only because there is an entire portion of the cafeteria designed like private dining rooms in restaurants, complete with soundproof walls and an intercom system for the staff._

_The head nutritionist leads Jeongyeon to one of the private rooms. By the frosted panel door, Jeongyeon notices a glass door plaque with a heavily printed label **Park Jihyo, Executive**._

_“This is her dining room”, the woman opens the door for Jeongyeon. “But she rarely uses it.”_

_The moment Jeongyeon gets a sight of the dining room, she doesn’t even question why Jihyo doesn’t use it often. It’s a farely spacious room with a four-seater granite table with upholstered seats at the center. It has white wallpaper and a giant Japanese painting of a tree as its lone decore._

_The only good thing the private dining room comes with is a floor-to-ceiling window taking up an entire wall, providing a spectacular view of the city jungle._

_Other than that, Jihyo is understandable. This part of the cafeteria is too isolated and lonely._

_“There’s already a prepared set of food for you. I’ll just go get--…”_

_“Um, can I just dine outside?”_

_Okja frowns. “You mean, not in here?”_

_Jeongyeon nods her head. “I’m okay with eating outside...at the lounge” She fiddles with the access card in her hands. She appreciates Jihyo’s gesture but she’ll go insane in that room._

_Okja nods. “Okay. You can go ahead and pick your table. I’ll just go get your food.”_

_Jeongyeon accepts that and follows behind Okja as they exit the private dining rooms._

_Okja takes a different direction while Jeongyeon takes her time picking a table._

_Unlike the cafeteria downstairs, the Executive Lounge is barely occupied. Jeongyeon can count the people she's seeing around the room with her two hands._

_She chooses a table near the windows overlooking the city view. It's good for four people and lonely when she takes a seat by herself, so Jeongyeon entertains her aloneness by taking a good look at the people together with her at the lounge._

_By the other side of the area are two men dressed in office suits, seated together, the other busy with his phone and the other one is typing on his laptop. They look like Department Heads. A few tables away from them are two girls and a guy together, the other girl looks like she's thirdwheeling. They're also not dressed in working clothes. They must be children of higher ranking workers. Lastly, at the table in front of Jeongyeon, near the windows as well, sits two ladies facing each other. The lady whose face Jeongyeon can see looks like a lady boss, and the lady whose back is turned towards Jeongyeon is dressed way too casually for an office, in an oversized hoodie and joggers. They must be mother-daughter._

_Jeongyeon sees Okja talking to the staff preparing the food. She turns her attention back to scanning the area again, just in time as she sees two bigger men walk inside the lounge, looking out of place and definitely not in the mood._

_If there's one thing private lounges always offer, it's the best seats at angsty family drama confrontations._

_(Jeongyeon tries to hide her smile. At the back of her mind, she feels guilty for getting excited over possibky witnessimg her own melo show)_

_Okja returns to the table with a tray in hand. She rambles on about the different dishes before Jeongyeon and each of their health benefits, but Jeongyeon can't seem to find the will to listen._

_When Okja is done, she leaves Jeongyeon to herself. The latter doesn't even notice the absence of the nutritionist's presence._

_Suddenly, all of Jeongyeon's attention is on the drama about to unfold before her_

_The two men, expectedly, make their way to the table in front of Jeongyeon--where the two ladies sat. The space between their tables isn’t that exponential therefore it's only expected when Jeongyeon overhears their conversation._

_"Are they done with the meeting?" The motherly-looking lady asks the two men who remain standing despite the two other vacant seats in their table._

_One of the men shakes his head. "It just started."_

_"Have you eaten yet?" The other man turns to the girl in a hoodie who only answers with the shake of her head._

_That reminds Jeongyeon of her own set of food before her. She grabs her spoon and takes a swing at the blue crab stew in a porcelain bowl. She only halfheartedly listens to the ongoing conversation now._

_They talk about a photoshoot, and Jeongyeon only realizes then that the girl in a hoodie must be some famous person (perhaps an idol or something…) and that the woman before her may either be her manager or mother, and the two men their escort._

_After a few more minutes, the girl in a hoodie stands up from her seat alongside the motherly-looking lady. They push their seats back and follow the two other men as they exit the lounge._

_Jeongyeon frowns at the sight of their leftovers on the table. It all reminds her yet again of how even celebrities nowadays have no class behind cameras. Jeongyeon is disappointed. (And partially unreasonable because everyone knows her prejudice over celebrities is definitely personal)_

_Now that her short-lived drama has ended, Jeongyeon focuses on her food now and takes her time eating the expensive and organic delicacies. There's meat and stew, and even pumpkin porridge with lots of sidedishes._

_She gazes out the window and to the view below her. One familiar sight catches her eyes._

_It's the girl in a hoodie. They just walked out of the building. The motherly-looking lady is nowhere in sight and there's only one man beside her now._

_Jeongyeon watches them silently._

_A big, luxurious-looking van pulls up the driveway. The man opens the door for the girl in a hoodie but she doesn't step inside immediately. By the looks of it, she talks to the man first._

_It takes a while before they finish with the girl sliding inside and closing the door by herself. The man only watches, as if in shock._

_Unknowingly, a smirk rolls off Jeongyeon's lips. People nowadays don't know the meaning of appreciation and respect. Even if the man looked mean, he still escorted and helped the girl._

_Jeongyeon suddenly finds herself out of appetite._

_It's people like the girl in a hoodie who are silently capable of killing others with their actions and words._

_(This is purely personal now.)_

_***_

_Jihyo returns to her penthouse office almost two hours later. They immediately head out to their old favorite samgyeopsal place near their campus, the place where they usually ate during their university days._

_Halfway into finishing their third order, Jihyo—who’s been the one manning the grill the entire time—finally snaps._

_“What gives?” She puts down the tongs and frowns in concern. “You’ve been quiet ever since I came back from the meeting. Did something happen?”_

_Jeongyeon doesn’t even realize how her mind’s drifting off again. “I…uh…just thought of something.”_

_Jihyo grabs her chopsticks and grabs a piece of meat. She places it on Jeongyeon’s plate. “What is it?”_

_Jeongyeon only stares at the piece. “Earlier”, she takes a deep breath. “There was a celebrity sitting in front of me at the cafeteria. She had her manager with her and two big escorts. They talked about the things celebrities talk about—photoshoots, meetings, diets, and all that. I watched closely when they left and even saw the celebrity get in her car and drive off like some spoiled princess.”_

_The dip between Jihyo’s eyebrows and the way her lips purse tells Jeongyeon that her best friend isn’t finding herself in the conversation. She doesn’t have any idea where it’s going._

_Jeongyeon sighs. “I realized only then how I’m completely and utterly still not over the breakup.”_

_It feels like a bomb dropping between them. Jihyo feels her heart tighten._

_“It’s been almost a year since she left me and it’s still hard.” Jeongyeon remembers the name inked on her upper arm. She lets out a dry laugh and takes a bite of the meat. “I can’t even have the tattoo removed.”_

_She finally musters the little courage and gazes up to see Jihyo looking at her so affectionately and dolefully at the same time. Jeongyeon never liked that look._

_“But”, she grabs the tong from Jihyo’s plate and begins manning the grill, in a desperate attempt to change the atmosphere. “I’ll be okay.”_

_Jeongyeon’s not sure who she’s trying to convince there. (It’s herself)_

_Sensing the desperation, Jihyo feigns a cough, an icebreaker. “Uh, until when will you be staying in the city?” She grabs a large piece of meat and cuts it with the kitchen shear. She places the smaller pieces on Jeongyeon’s plate. “I’ll be free tomorrow starting from lunch. Maybe we can go get something to eat and--…”_

_“I won’t be staying long.” Jeongyeon looks down again, focuses on grilling the meat. She can feel Jihyo’s hard look on her, drilling a hole on her head._

_“What?”_

_“I finally made a decision.”_

_Jeongyeon makes the mistake of looking up. She sees the pain on Jihyo’s face. She looks down again. “I only went back to try and sort my thoughts out. After today, I think I finally made my decision.”_

_“And what is that?”_

_“My grandma lives in a small provincial town somewhere in the south. She needs someone to help her there and I volunteered. I’ll be living with her there.”_

_“When will you leave?”_

_Jeongyeon feels like her heart is growing heavier by the second. “This weekend.”_

_Heavy silence envelope them. Jihyo only finds herself looking at her best friend._

_Jeongyeon gulps down hard and looks up. “I’m sorry if this is selfish of me, Hyo. You can always visit if you want, and I’ll try to visit you as much as I can as well. I promise. I won’t let this affect our friendship, okay?”_

_There are a lot of emotions bursting in Jihyo’s mind right now, but one thing is for sure when she moves her hand across the table and grabs Jeongyeon’s, holding it tight and reassuringly. “It’s fine, Jeong.”_

_If it’s for Jeongyeon’s wellbeing then Jihyo will never have the heart to be selfish. “I will come to you.” She smiles at her best friend. “But you have to promise me one thing.”_

_Jeongyeon feels her heart grow lighter. She may not be rich, but if there’s one treasure she has that only a few other will have, it’s Park Jihyo’s friendship.“What is it?”_

_“Promise me that you’ll be happy there.”_

_The word itself—happiness—sends a shiver down Jeongyeon’s spine. It’s been so long since she felt that genuine emotion ever since the breakup. It’s going to be a hard journey, specially now that the person she once deemed was her happiness is now off living her own life, but Jeongyeon, for the sake of Jihyo and everyone else, will try._

_“I will.”_

_Jihyo sighs. “Okay then.” She grabs her bottle of soju. “Let’s toast.”_

_Jeongyeon grabs her own bottle._

_“This is to you, my best friend”, Jihyo smiles widely. “For a brighter future ahead of you and a lot of happiness because you deserve it.”_

_Jeongyeon nods to that. “And to you, my best friend”, she beams at Jihyo. “For an even more successful career and a potential love life, I guess?”Jihyo scowls at her. Jeongyeon only chuckles._

_“Here’s to us. Let’s be happy when we see each other soon.”_

_They toast to that._

_***_

_(“Why are you such in a sour mood?” Her manager plops down on the passenger’s seat with a scowl._

_Nayeon only frowns at him from the rearview mirror. “Nothing.” She crosses her arms over her chest like a sulking child and looks out the window._

_“Nothing? I don’t think so, Nayeon. Your mood entirely ruined the--…”_

_Nayeon rolls her eyes. “I just saw someone, okay?”_

_“Someone?” Her manager looks at her through the rearview mirror. “Was it a fan?”_

_Her? A fan? Even from a far, Nayeon can already recognize Yoo Jeongyeon. She can only let out a dry, incredulous laugh at the ridiculous thought. “Far from that, oppa.”_

_“A sasaeng then?”_

_“This early in her career?” Another voice joins in their conversation. It’s Nayeon’s other manager, one of the three. “I doubt.”_

_He has a point, Nayeon agrees. It hasn’t even been two years since she debuted and although her showcase did get an abundance of positive reviews and feedbacks, it’s too early for her to have a massive fanbase let alone her own sasaengs._

_“Whoever that person is, forget him.” Her other managar has always been the stricter one. “I don’t need you ruining your own day by--…”_

_“It’s a her.” Nayeon removes her hood and looks back on the view of the building slowly fading from sight. “And you’re wrong. My day wasn’t ruined.”)_

_***_

Jeongyeon doesn’t belong here.

Clad in acid-washed jeans and a basic tee, she finds herself standing in the middle of a bustling hallway, watching as people with headsets and clipboards go around commanding and instructing others where to go and what to do.

She has half a mind to ask them to yell her too, because as of the moment, Yoo Jeongyeon is figuratively and literally lost.

They arrived at the KBS building about an hour ago thanks to Yubin’s speed driving. Jeongyeon tried a thousand times begging Nayeon to let her go and just let her stay at her apartment but no. Nayeon promised her something important and that she had to watch whatever it was. Jeongyeon thinks there are a lot of other ways for her to know whatever the important thing is, but Nayeon has always been as stubborn as a rock.

That’s why Jeongyeon is here right now, lost in one of the hallways, exhausted and parched because all she wants is some coffee or anything to eat. The last time she got a hold of Nayeon, it was when they entered the building. It didn’t even take a minute for the production crew to pull her away and out of Jeongyeon’s reach. 

Now, Jeongyeon is frustrated and lonely because Nayeon’s not within her hold, she’s hungry and thirsty, and most definitely, she's out of place.

It’s honestly even worse now that Jeongyeon’s realized she left her phone in Nayeon’s waiting room.

“Fuck this shit.” She mutters under her breath and just heads for the direction of the hall with less people.

Jeongyeon finds herself whispering unnoticed apologies and excuse me’s while trying to walk down the crowded hallway, joining the stream of KBS production crew and staff coming from every direction.

She manages her thoughts first and plans on looking for a vending machine. She has a few spare changes in her pocket—it’s Yubin’s—and that might as well be enough for a can of coffee.

After what felt like being dragged by the currents of the river meeting with the sea, Jeongyeon finally spots a vending machine at the end of the hallway’s turn—and a long line that comes along with it.

She queues up for the machine, standing behind more than five other people wanting their own can of drink. While preparing her some bills, the two women before her—both crew members, as said on the back of their black shirts and their headsets—giggle to themselves and chat a little too loudly.

“Ya, have you heard?” The girl with glasses and a bunch of hair nestled on top of her head like a bun jabs the other girl beside her, who only responds with a shake of her head.

Jeongyeon tries to put some distance between them to not overhear but the space is limited, and the crowd behind her keeps on hustling her forward. It’s no use trying to _not_ eavesdrop.

The two ladies don’t seem to mind the lack of formal space because they still continue on with their conversation.

In all honesty, Jeongyeon didn’t give a damn about whatever they were talking about. It’s one thing to overhear, it’s another to eavesdrop. 

Jeongyeon has no intention to listen in therefore she tries her best to focus on other things like the mundanity of the filming set, the bustle of the people or the fact that she will never want to live a life as fast-paced as this, but then the two ladies before her mention a name, and suddenly, all of Jeongyeon’s attention is on them.

“Im Nayeon is here…”

The girl without the glasses’ eyes widens. “You mean the idol? The scandalous one?”

“Is there any other Im Nayeon celebrity here in Korea?” The other girl deadpans. “Anyways, she’s here for a guesting and she brought someone with her!”

“Omo! Who?”

“They said it was a friend but I doubt. Maybe it’s one of her flings again. She’s experimenting girls now?”

“It’s a girl?”

The other girl lets out a scoff. “As if her career isn’t tarnished enough, she comes back again ruining it even more. I pity her.”

“I pity the girl she’s dragging into her mess.” There’s a frown that makes Jeongyeon clench her fists. “She doesn’t have any idea what she’s getting herself into.”

Jeongyeon has always been a firm believer of not lowering herself to level with others’ patheticness, but this is far beyond her control. Nayeon is already going through her own problems, trying to change the way people see her when in fact, it’s not really something she can control. But to have these kinds of people continue to slander her even though they don’t know Nayeon, Jeongyeon will definitely not let this pass.

“Excuse me?” but of course, she won’t lose her sense of…civility. The two women turn to her, both confused at the sudden intrusion of a stranger.

Jeongyeon fakes a nice, warm smile. “But do you know Nayeon—I mean, Ms. Im Nayeon—personally?”

The girl with the glasses doesn’t respond but the other girl bravely narrows her eyes at Jeongyeon and then raises a brow. “Who are you?”

“I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation but I just think it’s wrong for you to assume something so personal about Ms. Im Nayeon. Judging from your earlier conversation, I don’t think you even know her personally.” Jeongyeon makes sure a tinge of venom laces her every word.

The girl with the glasses looks nice, and she’s about to bow an apology by the looks of it, but the other girl stops her halfway. “I don’t think you should be eavesdropping on other people’s conversations, Miss.”

“I wasn’t.” Jeongyeon feels her loose hold on politeness slowly slip away. “It can’t be helped to overhear when there’s barely any distance between us and your talking voice is as loud as a mother’s nagging.”

The other girl gasps, affronted. “Excuse me?”

Right now, Jeongyeon doesn’t even care if she’s insulted. “All I’m saying is that you don’t have the right to slander someone if you don’t know them. Not to mention the fact that you’re spreading false words against her.”

“Who are you to tell me that--…”

“Exucse me?” There’s a tap on her shoulder that causes Jeongyeon to turn around. It’s another girl but this time, it’s of a nicer-looking one with the same headset piece. “Are you a staff member?”

Jeongyeon reluctantly shakes her head with a confused frown.

“This line is for staff and crew members only, Miss.”

If the earth could swallow her at any given moment, Jeongyeon would wish it were there, at that exact time. She feels like she just got bitch slapped by humiliation.

All she ever wanted was to be the nice protagonist there, to shut down mindless extras who defame innocent others they don't even personally know. Instead of a spectacular walk-out, she gets this.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry.” Jeongyeon only apologizes to the nicer-looking woman. Without casting the two ladies earlier any glance—partially because she’s embarrassed and that they’ll most probably just feed on her humiliation—Jeongyeon steps out of the line and follows the stream of people into another hallway.

_Why would they be so sensitive about a vending machine? What’s the logic behind having a crew-only vending machine? Everyone should be given the damn opportunity to buy a drink when they’re thirsty. Fucking capitalism and its human-made unreasonable laws…_

“Ya, you!”

Jeongyeon continues trying to figure out a way out of the ongoing stream of strangers, but to her dismay, someone suddenly yanks her shoulder back.

Jeongyeon almost falls behind. “Ya!” She shoves the hand away from her shoulder and turns around. “What the--…”

“Are you a staff here?” It’s a man, a big one. Judging from his muscular body, he must be one of the security men working around the building. “Where’s your ID?”

 _What ID?_ “Um, I came here as a…plus one?” _Come on, Jeongyeon. A plus one? What is this, prom?_

The big man doesn’t look happy as well. “If you don’t have any idea, I’m afraid I’ll have to escort you out--…”

“JEONGYEON!”

All eyes turn to the loud voice coming from behind. Jeongyeon sees Yubin walking towards them with an exasperated frown. At the sight of the older woman, the big man immediately bows his heads.

Yubin doesn't even notice him standing there. She heads straight to Jeongyeo . “Nayeon’s looking for you.”

At the mention of the _idol's_ name, Jeongyeon can see through her peripheral surprised look of the guy beside her. 

A proud smirk graces her lips. “Nayeonnie?”

The sweet tone on her voice is purely for the intention of emphasizing her intimate relationship with Nayeon to every pair of eyes suddenly staring at their commotion. 

Yubin, overlooks the unusual affectionate tone. “Yes, Nayeon.” She grabs Jeongyeon’s hand. “Now come on.” She drags her through the crowd without any other word.

It must be Jeongyeon’s unfamiliarity with the building, but it only takes Yubin less than five minutes to navigate through the maze of doors and the sea of strangers, and arrive back at Nayeon’s waiting room without even a wrinkle on her clothes.

(It took Jeongyeon half an hour at least)

The door is locked. Nayeon’s name is on a piece of paper beside it. Yubin knocks.

“Where have you been?” She turns to Jeongyeon as they wait outside. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Jeongyeon lets out an embarrassed chortle. “I’ve been looking for something to drink or eat. My stomach’s crying for help.”

“There’s a buffet table in the waiting room.” Yubin deadpans. 

Jeongyeon frowns. She doesn’t remember seeing any fucking buffet table in the waiting room when she was there waiting for almost an hour ago.

The door opens before Jeongyeon could even demand Yubin for an explanation.

“Ya! Yoo Jeongyeon!”

Jeongyeon is greeted by the sight of Nayeon, standing a few steps in front of her, arms crossed over her chest, a daggering glare plastered on her face. 

Despite the glower, for a moment there, it feels like Jeongyeon’s world is at a standstill. 

This is the first time she’s seeing Nayeon with makeup on, hair cascading to her chest in soft, beautiful curls. She’s dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, a Gucci shirt, and a black Dior blazer on, completed with a pair of stilettos. For the lack of any better word, Nayeon looks _hot._

By the time she realizes she's been ogling at the older woman now, Nayeon is already a few steps away from Jeongyeon.

_How did she move so fast?_

They're close-- _too close,_ if that will ever be a term in Nayeon's vocabulary--and Jeongyeon has half a mind to step back and maintain some space between them because they're in public and there are other people in the room with them.

(She remembers the words from the two ladies earlier and it's a force pulling her away.) 

Jeongyeon takes a small step back. Her movements are cautious, hidden behind a feigned face of shock. Unfortunately for her, Nayeon has always paid attention to every little detail.

"Where have you been?" Nayeon moves closer. She grabs Jeongyeon's hand as well, nailing the younger woman on her feet. 

"I...I got hungry…" Jeongyeon keeps her head low, afraid to embarrass herself furthermore. Nayeon's makeup artists, hairstylists, managers, and even a few of the production crew are inside the same room with them. Jeongyeon can feel their eyes boring holes on her skull.

"Hungry? There's food here." 

Nayeon pulls her to the corner of the room, where Jeongyeon soon sees a whole _fucking_ table of sandwiches, brewed coffee, biscuits, and even salads. 

Without any word, Nayeon lets go of Jeongyeon's hand and grabs a plate for her. She begins picking up a piece from every food prepared and plated before them. By the time she's done, she walks back to Jeongyeon and makes her sit down on the leather sofa. She places the plate on the coffee table.

"Here, food." 

It's unfamiliar and completely out of nowhere, this sudden feeling of shyness surging inside Jeongyeon.

On a normal basis she would have teased Nayeon about her look, would have made fun of Nayeon for getting every piece of food from the buffet table, probably even call her funny nicknames _just because_ , but somehow, at that moment, Jeongyeon feels like she's ran out of words, like this isn't her territory to begin with, that the Nayeon before her isn't the Nayeon she's loved ever since, not the Nayeon she just slept with and woke up beside to, not the Nayeon who made her coffee and kissed her good morning. 

An extensive part of Jeongyeon's brain is telling her to act like nothing really intimate is going on between her and Nayeon, and the reason fueling behind this sudden desire is the concern for Nayeon's own career. Jeongyeon thinks an awful lot about it nowadays. They're not in Mitan anymore, not hidden behind the walls of her small, ragged home, able to feel what they feel and do what they want to do. This is Nayeon's world, all fast-paced, brutally-honest, and cruelly-undesirable of it. 

This is the world Jeongyeon doesn't belong in.

***

It's not hard noticing the way Jeongyeon's actions are minimal and always as if second-guessing, as if there was a ticking bomb and one wrong press of the button would send blow everything into shambles and unrepairable pieces. 

When Jeongyeon stepped out of the waiting room awhile ago, Nayeon was in curlers and surrounded by the entire styling team. When she saw Jeongyeon move out without any word, she was tempted to shout and potentially cause another scandal in the waiting room, but Yubin only looked at her with _that look_. 

She didn't want Jeongyeon going but she didn't stop her from walking out of the room. Nayeon couldn't, not when her lips were sealed with transparent lip gloss, lip liner, and a very red shade of lipstick. Not when she remembered catching glimpses of Jeongyeon seated on the leather sofa awhile ago, shoulders slumped and staring on the floor, looking like a lost, _kicked_ puppy.

Nayeon let Jeongyeon go, have her own look at the world the older woman grew up dreaming of, the world she chose over her. 

When it felt like Jeongyeon's absence had been longer than necessary, Nayeon sent Yubin out to look for the younger woman. Thankfully they find each other within a short span of time.

Nayeon expected the little personal tour to be helpful, to let Jeongyeon have her own peace of mind because everything that happened earlier that day may have been too surprising for her, but the moment Jeongyeon returns to the waiting room, it looks like she even lost herself a little bit more from outside. 

"You're thinking of something." And so if she won't tell her anything then Nayeon will simply choose other measures. "Tell me." 

Jeongyeon snaps out of her reverie. "Huh? What?" 

Nayeon grabs the fork idle on the plate and pokes on a strawberry. "You're quiet and staring." She raises the fork to Jeongyeon's lips, waiting for the younger woman to open her mouth. "What's wrong?"

Jeongyeon only stares at Nayeon with wary eyes, as if telepathically asking her _what are you doing??_

Nayeon understands it perfectly. "Say 'ah'." 

"What?" 

"Eat the strawberry." 

Jeongyeon frowns. "You don't have to feed me--..."

"I want to, now eat." And without even letting Jeongyeon finish her words, Nayeon jabs the strawberry inside of her mouth, almost choking the younger woman in the process.

"YUH!" 

Nayeon only holds in a laugh as she pokes on another piece of strawberry, dips it in the small cup of chocolate fondue, and slips it inside her mouth gracefully, far unlike Jeongyeon.

That gets the tension to ease up a little. 

Jeongyeon doesn't complain anymore after she chews and swallows her piece of strawberry. Instead, she only watches as Nayeon prepare another fork of the fruit.

"I want some chocolate too." 

Nayeon only hums and dips the strawberry into the container before feeding it to Jeongyeon.

They remain silently content with each other's company, unaware of the stares they're getting from the other people in the room.

"Nayeon…" Jeongyeon feels like she's trying to gulp down a boulder in her parched throat 

Nayeon turns her gaze towards the younger woman. "Hmm?" 

She's halfway into feeding Jeongyeon another fork, this time of sliced bananas dipped in chocolate, when Jeongyeon asks her in a hesitant whisper, "Why did you bring me here?"

Nayeon pretends to overlook the tinge of dejection in Jeongyeon's tone. She raises the fork and softly slips it into Jeongyeon's mouth. The latter just lets it be. 

"I just wanted to be with you." 

It's now Jeongyeon's turn to pretend like she didn't hear anything. She carefully and quietly munches on the slice of banana. At the forefront of her mind, she knows that that's not Nayeon's real reason so she waits for the truth to come out.

Nayeon dips another slice of banana into the container of chocolate fondue. She slips it into her mouth carefully, not wanting to ruin her lipstick. 

They sit in silence, the tension returning and engulfing the two.

When Jeongyeon subtly refuses another fork of the sliced banana, Nayeon breaks. "I...I wanted to show you something."

Jeongyeon frowns at her. "What?"

"It's...uh, you have to wait for it." Nayeon tears her gaze away from Jeongyeon, feeling her blood warm up in her cheeks. 

"Can't I just see it from Seungyeon unnie's apartment?" 

Nayeon looks up. The reluctance in Jeongyeon's eyes is a wrecking ball to Nayeon's heart. "Do you hate it here that much?" 

It kind of just slips off Nayeon's lips, but by the time she's realized it, Jeongyeon's already caught off-guard.

"W-What?"

Nayeon puts down the fork. "I see the way you act, Jeong." There's no use denying everything now and lying. "I...I know this isn't exactly the type of place you really like. I know you don't like being around so much people let alone strangers in a far different world. I know that you feel like you don't belong here." 

_Don't cry, Nayeon. Your makeup artist will kill you._

"I…" Nayeon lets the words trail off her lips. She looks down, afraid that her dam will break if she ever looks into Jeongyeon's eyes again. "I'm sorry if I forced you here." She grabs Jeongyeon's hand and laces their fingers together. "I just...I really want to show you something. To prove to you something."

"What is--..."

"Im Nayeon?" 

The sound of another voice propels the two back into reality. A woman with a clipboard and a headset stands by the door of the waiting room. "Nayeon-ssi?" 

Nayeon doesn't dare move her gaze from Jeongyeon. 

"Nayeon?"

Jeongyeon feels like she's going to melt at the way Nayeon stares at her. It takes a lot of willpower to remind herself that they're not in the safety of their own world anymore, and it takes a thousand more to pull her hand away from Nayeon's hold. 

"I think you have to go…" Jeongyeon whispers, pursing her lips towards the direction of the scary-looking woman frowning at them.

Nayeon only tears her gaze away when Jeongyeon decides to stand up and distance herself. The woman--a KBS stage manager, Nayeon recognizes--steps in. "You're on in five. Come on."

The woman walks out of the room and waits for Nayeon by the hall. The door is opened, and all eyes are on Nayeon. This is, after _months_ , her first time in front of the cameras again, actually doing her job and not just being the country's tabloid princess. 

Everyone passing by the same hallway subtly look inside the room, trying to pretend they don't care and don't know who's inside, as if the news that Im Nayeon is back hasn't been getting tossed from each personnel and staff member's mouths. _Ugh._

"Come on." It's Yubin's soft, uncharacteristic motherly voice that pulls Nayeon to her ground. She tugs at the sleeve of Nayeon's blazer, pulling her up to a stand. The stage manager is still waiting by the hall. 

Nayeon turns to Jeongyeon for something, _anything,_ but the younger woman is already looking at her with an encouraging face, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She mouths something but Nayeon can't understand with the noise and the continuous tugging at her sleeve. 

Without any idea what Jeongyeon is trying to tell her, Nayeon simply replies with what her heart had been trying to say this entire time. " _I love you."_

The entire room falls ice-cold silent and tense. She hears someone drop their phone on the ground. She hopes it's not Jeongyeon.

Content, Nayeon lets her own feet drag her languidly to the door. It's time to put her mask on and act hollow again, like the _perfect_ rebellious idol the industry has created her to be. It's time for Im Nayeon to step in and for Jeongyeon's Nayeon to hide back. She has a show to pull off.

***

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I'm sorry._

Nayeon's words replay in Jeongyeon's mind like a broken record, a CD with scratches that repeat a scene for a thousand times and then blacks out. That's Jeongyeon's mind right now. It repeats Nayeon's words for a hundred more times before it just blacks out. 

_She told me she loved me. In front of the entire backstage team, the production crew, her manager, strangers…_

_Nayeon loves me._

"Earth to Jeongyeon…?" 

_She fucking loves me._

"Jeongyeon!" 

Jeongyeon idly looks up to Yubin's statuesque figure standing over her. She's still on cloud nine. "Hmm?"

Yubin lets out a chuckle. "You look stoned." She grabs Jeongyeon's hand and pulls her to a stand. "Come on. You're going with me to monitor the recording." 

Jeongyeon doesn't even have an ounce of strength and sanity left to contradict Yubin. She just lets the older woman pull her like a dog on a leash, past the confused stares and frowns of the staff and crew walking alongside them down the hall that leads to the seats for the audience.

A security guard stops them from entering the two upholstered theater doors. He asks for identification and all Yubin replies with is her identity. The guard eyes Jeongyeon top to bottom and for a split second, narrows his eyes at her skeptically before letting them in without any other word.

Surprisingly, there is very limited seating capacity for the audience. Jeongyeon guesses about less than 50 studio audiences can fit inside. The first row is unoccupied, and Yubin leads Jeongyeon to one of the seats in the far left side, near the door they just came out of.

“I’m assuming you don’t want your face plastered on every television screen in the entire country, correct?” Yubin takes the seat beside her.

Jeongyeon only nods reluctantly.

Yubin points her finger to the upper middle side of the audience seats. “That’s usually where the show’s problematic guest sits”, she purses her lips towards the direction of the camera dolly only a few steps away form them. “The cameras usally pan there. The good-looking audience members sit around the same aera as well.”

In front of them, the circular stage is already set up. There are giant Christmas stockings and decore scattered everywhere, and floor pillows and blankets at the center. On the two sides of the stage are the applause indicators that tell the audience when to give a round of applause.

Jeongyeon is honestly stunned. This is her first time seeing a variety show set.

“There they are”, Yubin darts over the show’s guests for the special, including the four hosts Jeongyeon cannot recognize. She can only name Lee Youngja because the woman was her mother’s favorite host.

It doesn’t take long for her to find Nayeon. She’s seated on one of the floor pillows, beside an actor wearing glasses, having her makeup retouched by her stylist.

“Do they have scripts for this?” Jeongyeon finds herself asking all of a sudden.

“Only a teleprompter, why?”

“I’m afraid of Nayeon.”

Yubin lets out a chuckle. “What?”

Jeongyeon feels anxiety creep into her system. Nayeon looks innocent and carefree on stage, like this is all normal for her, being in front of an audience, sitting beside other famous people, talking and just being her; but Jeongyeon knows— _feels—_ like something’s going to happen.

“I just feel like she’s on to—…”

But Jeongyeon’s words are cut short by the stage manager—the same woman who showed earlier in Nayeon’s waiting room—suddenly grabbing everyone’s attention. “We’re starting, everyone. Please be in your seats.”

Yubin turns her attention back to the stage. The words fall off easily in Jeongyeon’s tongue, but this time as a whisper only for herself to hear. “I feel like she’s on to something…”

_Oh god._

The applause indicators light up and soon, the entire audience begin clapping their hands in an practiced _candid_ manner.

The whole stage lights up.

“We root for you to solve your problems!” The same actor wearing glasses starts off the show.

All together, the show’s hosts and guests exclaim, “Tell us your concerns! This is…Hello Counselor!”

***

“Our panel for today is special just like our episode. Let’s welcome in, Korea’s It Girl, Im Nayeon!”

Applauses roar as Nayeon waves her hand and greets the audience instinctively. Her smile is genuinely practiced, the same smile she sports in front of the cameras and everybody else ( _except Jeongyeon_ ).

As expected, they begin the segment by interviewing their panel first. Unfortunately, Nayeon’s the only guest in the show and consequently everyone’s attention is on the idol that’s just returned from her long, _controversial_ hiatus.

“Nayeon-ssi”, Youngja begins. All eyes are on Nayeon. “How have you been?”

_Toughen up, Nayeon. You can do this._

“I’ve been well, thank you very much.” She plays it off with a cool smile.

Shin Dongyup turns to the audience. “I think it’s very much well known that the entire country has missed you, Nayeon-ssi.” The audience claps. “What have you been doing during your break?”

_Fuck this._

“Well, I chose to spend my time healing and reconnecting with some friends.” Far off at the backstage, Nayeon catches a glimpse of the stage manager prompting her to look at the direction of the audience.

She does so and sees Jeongyeon watching her.

_Oh god._

It takes a different kind of strength to keep herself together knowing that Jeongyeon is a few steps away from her, watching her in her _natural habitat_ , mechanic and perfect for the audience to see, and entirely not the Nayeon she wants Jeongyeon _to see._

_Snap out of it!_

Nayeon pinches herself underneath the blanket. Lee Youngja is already reading the “letter” of the guest for the special episode, entitled “My Secret Romance”.

“ _It may sound a bit naive but as a little girl, I've ways dreamt of my own fairytale and happy ending. I'm not as pretty as the girls on TV that's why it's harder for me to achieve that dream but I knew that once I found my special someone, I'd be the happiest and I wouldn't wish for anything else."_

Nayeon listens intently to the letter and casually nods. She hides a smile, hearing herself from whoever wrote the letter. _I dream of the same thing._

Lee Youngja continues. " _As if out of a fairytale book, I finally met someone. He wasn't exactly the man of my dreams, but he was definitely something else."_

The audience and the hosts erupt into a series of aww's and laughter. Nayeon finds herself doing the same. (She sees Jeongyeon do it too) 

" _However, we found ourselves in a not-so fairytale situation."_

Nayeon stifles back a smirk because _of course._

" _We have been seeing each other for almost a year now but I still haven't met his family. I don't know anything about him. When I met a few of his friends, he would introduce me as a friend and would always keep a distance between us."_

The audience tenses. Nayeon feels like she's been hit by an iceberg. _What the fuck._

" _I love him but I feel like I'm the only one. Please help us."_

Lee Youngja ends it with a frown and the audience coos. The three other hosts share exaggerated reactions (Nayeon fights the urge to roll her eyes because _Ugh. Men._ )

"Wow, that's tough…" Youngja exhales. She turns to Nayeon. “Nayeon-ssi, have you ever been in the same position as our guest for today?”

It’s expected, for variety show hosts to always drill on their celebrity guests. If there’s anything Korea is addicted to—humans, in general—it’s the private lives of others. In this case, Nayeon is no exception, not when she’s the _most controversial_ idol in her generation.

But of course, being the _most controversial_ idol also has a few blessings in disguise. For example, in this position, Nayeon is already a pro. Dodging questions that have the potential to put her personal life at risk is nothing new to her now.

“Which party?” She asks with a kind smile. “The one who feels or the one who doesn’t?”

Shin Dongyup laughs at the remark. “It seems as if you’re already a pro at this, Nayeon-ssi. Let’s say, you’re the one who loves but feels like you’re the only one. Have you ever been in that position?”

At the far end of her vision sits Jeongyeon, who watches and waits intently for her answer. It’s as if Nayeon’s auditioning again, back at step one, and Jeongyeon’s the only person who has the right to judge her. Nayeon, if any, is at Jeongyeon’s pedestal.

“Me? Honestly, no. I haven’t been in the same position.”

_I was the one who made Jeongyeon feel like that._

The audience erupt into a series of _ooh_ ’s. There’s a playful roll on the eyes of Seo Sewon. Whether it was playful or genuine hidden behind the façade of variety show hosts being perceived as “generally just joking around”, Nayeon never liked him anyways.

Lee Youngja—she’s always been the kinder one amongst the panel of hosts in the show—directs the question to her other co-emcees. Seo Sewon agrees on one party (said he had been in the same unrequited position; Nayeon hides the roll of her eyes) while Shin Dongyup agrees on both parties.

They talk for a few more while, all about Shin Dongyup’s explanation, until Lee Youngja calls on their guest the day, the one who wrote the letter, an adult woman in her early thirties named Cho Suji.

Nayeon smiles back when the girl shakes her hand and squeezes a little too hard, and then takes a seat beside her, on the floor pillow. They give Suji a round of applause before settling down.

It doesn’t take long before they introduce Suji’s boyfriend, an average-looking guy who seems older than Suji, seated in the upper-middle seats.

Nayeon could hardly throw in a proper response to most of the questions from the hosts. They always talk over each other and Nayeon can’t really understand and figure out who is she going to answer. 

_This is why I hate going to variety shows…_

The fun only begins after the first commercial break. The moment the stage producer announces the start of the fifteen-minute recess, Nayeon stands up, excuses herself from the other emcees and the guests, and heads down the stage towards Yubin and Jeongyeon.

“Are you getting bored?” She greets Jeongyeon with open arms, wordlessly asking for a hug. Jeongyeon, instinctively, leans into the embrace.

They let go after a few seconds.

“I’m good.” Jeongyeon smiles. “Are _you_ getting bored?” There’s a chuckle. “You look like anywhere else would be better than here.”

“That’s because anywhere else _is_ better than here.” Nayeon wraps one arm around Jeongyeon’s side and rests her neck on the younger woman’s shoulder. “Want to run away with me?”

“I can hear you.” Yubin scoffs and playfully jabs at Nayeon’s waist. “No one’s running away. And besides, you _chose_ to do this episode, Nayeon.”

Nayeon groans. “That’s because I _had_ to do this episode. It’s not like I wanted to do it.”

“Had to? Why?” Jeongyeon frowns, as if Nayeon would be able to see her. The older woman’s too busy nuzzling her head near the crook of Jeongyeon’s neck.

 _Oh shit._ Nayeon didn’t expect her words to slip away that easily.

Thankfully, she has Yubin, always a step ahead.

“Company. Says it’s good for publicity.”

“Ah…”

They remain like that for a few more minutes before Nayeon’s name gets called from the stage. Yubin tells her to go, “It’s Lee Youngja. They want to talk to you.”

Nayeon lets out a childish whine. “Do I have to?”

“Go. Now.”

With a chaste kiss on Jeongyeon’s jaw, Nayeon skips away, unable to hide the dreamy smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

(“Did she just--…” Jeongyeon blinks, dumbfounded.

Yubin looks equally appalled. “Aish, that kid…”)

***

The recording continues after the break.

It’s now time to hear the side of the guy.

He introduces himself first, explains how long they have been seeing each other, and then begins his side, “We have different versions of love, and she doesn’t understand how my love for her works.”

Nayeon scowls. “What?” She doesn’t realize the way her tone raises.

Lee Youngja eases up the atmosphere with a joke. The audience laughs and applauds. Nayeon only fakes a smile.

The guy takes a deep inhale. “We don’t get along because of our different perspectives of love.”

Nayeon honestly just wants to get this over with and not even listen to the guy’s side because _obviously,_ the girl is the one to worry here. She wants to shout at the guy for even thinking of doing such things, but her guilt is holding her back to the ground. She's in no position to reprimand someone when she's done almost exactly the same.

There’s another pull at her. It’s Jeongyeon’s sincere, meaningful eyes meeting her gaze for a quick second. _Calm down,_ she mouths. Nayeon takes a deep breath to collect herself.

“What do you mean by ‘different perspectives of love’?” She queries instead.

It takes a while for the guy to answer. “She moves in big actions, loves me with grand restaurant dates and fancy gifts. I love her with cups of hot chocolate on cold nights and warm fuzzy blankets.”

( _Jeongyeon looks like she doesn’t belong in this world.)_

Nayeon feels her aggravation shatter into pieces like glass shards.

“I don’t alienate her from my world or keep our relationship a secret. I choose not to introduce her to the people I don’t want in my world. Because I don’t think they deserve to get to know a part of her that I only want for myself.”

( _You’re the only person who gets to see this side of me.)_

The audience also quiets down. It feels as if the tables have turned, and the tides are lowering down. Nayeon is attracted to listen.

“Is it true that you haven’t introduced her to your family yet?” Shin Dongyup breaks the heavy silence.

The guy nods. “I haven’t introduced her to them. And I don’t plan on introducing her to them any time soon.”

The audience gasps altogether.

“Why?” Lee Youngja asks, shocked herself.

“Because I don’t have any parents and the only relative I have is a distant uncle who paid for my education through the money my parents left. There’s no relative to introduce her to.”

“Did you know this?” Nayeon turns to Suji, the guest, who in return, looks equally appalled, as if this were new information to her.

It turns out, it was.

“If that’s the case then I think you don’t really have any problem here, not anything big, at least.” Nayeon sees a small smile on Jeongyeon’s lips. It fuels her complacency. “I think you both need to talk. Communication. This difference of yours can be solved through talking. Sit down, catch up with each other. _Talk._ ”

“Do you agree?” Lee Youngja asks her fellow emcees. Everyone nods. Everyone but Seo Sewon.

(Nayeon, this time, rolls her eyes. _Playfully._ )

“Love should be equal on both sides, don’t you think?”A few of the audience nod their heads to his words.

Nayeon doesn’t even try hiding the way her brows furrow into a frown. She listens to Sewon’s _side_ first as he explains, “Love should be equal between two people all the time. Both should give extreme effort towards each other _all the time_.”

His eagerness makes Nayeon want to vomit.

“I personally don’t think so, Seo Sewon-ssi.” Her tone is a little bit more serious than the usual. The atmosphere drops to a record low. “Relationships aren’t 50-50.”

“I agree with that, to be honest.” Lee Youngja takes Nayeon’s side and speaks up for the sake of lightening the mood. It's a futile attempt. 

“Would you settle for the average, then?” Sewon clenches his teeth. “If you love someone and he only half-loves you”, the audience laughs at the term. Nayeon stays stoic. “Would you settle for that?”

“You can’t measure someone’s feelings, Sewon-ssi. You don’t _demand_ equal love from someone.” Nayeon only frowns at the logic. “There’s no barometer for someone’s feelings or emotions. When you fall in love, you just _hope_ their feeling is somewhere close to yours and them vice-versa. Someone’s _always_ going to be closer to getting burned, more vulnerable and at risk than the other.”

Sewon scowls, his wrinkles showing even more. "What are you talking about?"

"I just think that relationships aren't 50-50. Sometimes you wake up and you just want to give 30%, your partner gives you her 70%. When she's tired, you give 90%, she replies with her 10. It's not always equal, but you make sure despite everything, there's still 100% love."

The entire room is quiet, as if taken aback. 

Seo Sewon doesn't hide his bothered scoff anymore. He even rolls his eyes. “Then I think that _that_ type of perspective in love is what causes most of your failed relationships.”

Nayeon smirks. “You speak as if you haven’t been divorced, Seo Sewon-ssi.”

“—CUT!”

The room suddenly feels cold. The stage manager walks up to the middle of the stage and calls for a five-minute break. Behind her follows a younger man Nayeon recognizes as Seo Sewon's manager, and then Yubin with that familiar frown on her face. 

"What was--..." But before Yubin could even finish her words and grab a hold of Nayeon's arm, Nayeon already begins walking off the stage, away from the audience's scrutiny. 

_Is this another scandal I smell?_

Nayeon finds her way to Jeongyeon by the audience seats. The younger woman is already on her feet, as if waiting for her arrival and running away with her on their getaway car. 

She's only a few steps away when Nayeon's name suddenly gets called. 

"Im Nayeon-ssi."

There's a big shift in the atmosphere. It gets more tight and cold. All eyes turn to the middle-aged man standing tall on the stage, face stern and rigid. His manager tries to back him down, but Sewon is adamant. 

"Can we talk?"

Honestly, Nayeon is an incredibly polite woman. Her parents raised her to be grateful for the elderly and most importantly, respectful. But when her respect is taken for granted, and the other party doesn't know how to give back respect, that's when her temper kicks. The very same attitude that partially earned her the title _Korea's It Girl._

Nayeon refuses to answer back. Instead, she deals with the issue by blissful ignorance. She continues making her way to Jeongyeon, who only greets her with a small frown. 

"I think he's calling for you…" she whispers under her breath when Nayeon approaches.

Nayeon only scoffs. "I honestly don't want to deal with him right now." She takes a seat and tugs at Jeongyeon's hand to sit down as well. 

Jeongyeon reluctantly follows. 

"I think you should--..."

"Im Nayeon-ssi." Seo Sewon's voice is getting louder. The entire room's eyes are on Nayeon. 

Nayeon only groans under her breath. _Why is he so damn annoying…_

She would have stayed glued on her seat, completely intoxicated by Jeongyeon's presence beside her, if not for the way Jeongyeon looked at her, anxious and concerned. _Aish…_

"Yes, Sewon _sunbaenim_?" Nayeon stands up. 

The man commands for Nayeon's presence with the condescending flick of his wrist. Honestly, Nayeon just wants to _murder_ someone. 

Nayeon makes sure to leave a small, affectionate smile for Jeongyeon before switching to her stoic expression and walking up the damn stage again. 

Seo Sewon is standing by the side of the stage, his manager and Yubin at bay from a safe distance. 

The man looks like those aggravating, misogynistic fathers in dramas that control their children's lives and even their wives'. 

Nayeon takes a deep breath before coming face to face with the middle-aged comedian. ( _Yes, he's a fucking comedian._ )

"What was that about?" His voice is sharp and textbook condescending. 

Nayeon sighs. It takes her _a lot_ of patience to calmly respond, "I was just giving my advice, Sewon _sunbaenim._ " 

"And you had the audacity to bring up my personal life?" 

"You started it first, Sewon _sunbaenim._ "

His manager takes a step forward when Sewon does the same. He looks like he's ready to swing a hand at Nayeon's face. Nayeon makes sure she holds her head up, as if challenging him even more. 

"Look, Im Nayeon-ssi, you're a junior in the industry, am I right?" Sewon takes another step closer. "Coming from a veteran, I suggest you tone down your attitude if you want to make it here. Cut it out. You don't want hounds coming after you, especially not in this industry." 

Nayeon _begs_ to differ. She makes sure her glare meets his. "I don't think _you_ , out of all people, should be giving me such advice, Sewon _sunbaenim._ You were the one who showed the _attitude_ first, attacked _my_ personal life first. I was simply returning the favor." 

"What are you even trying to protect here? Your scandalous reputation? What personal life?" 

_Damn, this man is really getting into my nerves here._

"See, that is _exactly_ the type of attitude that took away your career, Sewon _sunbaenim."_

"My career?" A dry laugh escapes the man's chapped lips. "Says the idol who's doing her last appearance in television?" 

_The fuck?_

It feels like a bucket of ice-cold water was propelled at her face. If the atmosphere earlier was heavy, it just plummeted down even more and even worse now that hushed whispers fill the entire room. Nayeon can feel everyone's eyes boring holes on her.

Before Nayeon can even retaliate and even launch herself at the man, perhaps yank him down on the floor right then and there, a grasp at her wrist holds her back.

She attempts to shove her hand away, but a stern voice halts her every movement and pulls her down to the ground. 

"Nayeon." 

It's not Yubin. 

"Let's go." 

It's honestly _so_ fucking funny how, at one word, Nayeon is willing to follow Jeongyeon everywhere and just give up her everything. It's funny how much she's _whipped_ for this woman.

But amusement is far behind Nayeon's back right now. Nothing is funny here. She makes sure she throws Sewon the coldest, most piercing glare her eyes can ever give, as if she's shooting lasers at the man and melting him to the ground, before she decides to let Jeongyeon drag her out of the place.

_Fuck this._

***

In the recent latter years of Jeongyeon's existence, if there is one thing she never wants to encounter and most especially be the receiving end of, it is none other than the fury of Im Nayeon.

The woman is like a walking conflagration when furious. So when Nayeon’s hand began fidgeting the hem of her blazer, her jaw clenching and her teeth biting the corner of her lips, Jeongyeon knew it was her cue to step in and stop the older woman from causing anymore damage to her career and image.

Jeongyeon doesn’t have any place in mind, she only realizes, as she pulls Nayeon out of the set, down the hallway where the entire stream of strangers part ways like the red sea, eyes widening at the sight of a nobody dragging _the_ Im Nayeon behind her back.

A security guard _almost_ stops them but somehow, he moves to the side and lets Jeongyeon pull Nayeon out the door, to what looks like smokers’ area in a balcony lounge.

Jeongyeon finally lets Nayeon’s hand go.

“I’m sorr--..”

“Do you want to run away?”

Nayeon blinks back, dumbfounded. “…what?”

Jeongyeon lets out a laugh. “Wait, why are you apologizing?”

 _Run away?_ Nayeon’s mind only drifts apart even more. _Yes, please._

“Nayeon?”

It takes a snap of Jeongyeon’s fingers to take her away from cloud nine. “Huh? What?”

“Why were you apologizing? You didn’t do anything.” Jeongyeon turns to face the overlooking view of the city from the balcony lounge. The wind carefully blows through the strands of her hair. It’s the picture-perfect view for Nayeon.

“I…I just don’t like you seeing that part of me…” her voice slowly tones down into an embarrassed whisper.

Jeongyeon glances at the older woman whose head is now hanging low. “You look like a child in scolding.” She lifts Nayeon’s chin up with her finger, prompting them to look at each other face to face.

Under the afternoon façade of the building, they look like the perfect drama couple.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything. What you did there?” Jeongyeon recalls the way Nayeon stood on the stage, radiating an insurmountable amount of confidence and complacency. A proud smile escapes Jeongyeon’s lips. “It was really hot.”

_What the fuck, Jeongyeon?? Hot? Is that the only word you know now?_

If there’s _another_ thing no one would ever _—_ mostly—want to be the receiving end of, it’s an incredibly arrogant Im Nayeon. It’s one thing to compliment her, but it’s a whole different level of self-destruction to _praise_ her.

Fortunately, Jeongyeon’s already a Professional at dealing with Im Nayeon.

“Really?” A shit-eating grin makes its way to Nayeon’s lips. “I was…” she treads closer and decides to let her fingers dance softly on Jeongyeon’s shoulder. “…hot?”

Suddenly, the tables are turned. No longer does Jeongyeon feel confident about this.

“Uh…” Anywhere else is a good choice to look at other than in Nayeon’s sultry eyes that looks at Jeongyeon like she’s stripping her out of her clothes.

Nayeon is smooth.

Nayeon is chic.

Nayeon is entirely the confident one here.

_Hell no._

“Yeah.” _This is your time to shine, Jeong._ “You were hot.” Jeongyeon takes the courage to close the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Nayeon’s waist and pulling her closer. “But you just ruined your entire career there.”

Nayeon is drunk on the feeling of Jeongyeon. “Yeah?” She stares at Jeongyeon’s lips, the tip of her nose, the bridge where her brows meet, and then to her eyes. Jeongyeon’s _eyes._ “Was that hot too?”

“No.” Jeongyeon chuckles. “But the speech was cute.” Her eyes crinkle and her laugh snaps Nayeon out of her intoxicated state. 

“The speech?” Nayeon pulls away a little, just to get a better look at the entirety of Jeongyeon’s face.

“The one about love not being equal.” Jeongyeon locks her fingers somewhere behind Nayeon, making sure to hold her close. “Was that what you wanted to show me this entire time?”

And then it hits Nayeon. Her plan failed.

“Actually…no.” She rests her head on Jeongyeon’s chest in an attempt to hide the pout on her face. “But I think my plan failed.”

“Plan?” Jeongyeon lets Nayeon be. “You _planned_ something?”

It’s a playful jest, Nayeon gets it. She’s never seriously planned anything in her entire life, after all.

“You make it sound like I’m an impulsive bitch.”

Jeongyeon scoffs. “That’s because _you are._ ”

Nayeon remembers her initial plan and rolls her eyes. “If only you knew…”

“Knew what?”

Nayeon doesn’t answer.

Jeongyeon loosens her hold on Nayeon and slowly pulls herself back. Nayeon looks up at her, confused of the sudden detachment.

“Are you serious, though? About what the man said there.”

Nayeon frowns. “Which part?”

“That the episode guesting is your last television appearance?”

If it _is_ Nayeon’s last appearance, would that mean that Nayeon won’t be some celebrity anymore? Is this like, a television retirement— _or whatever they call that._

Nayeon ponders for a moment. This _was_ her surprise, to announce to the entire show—with the uncertainty whether her speech would be shown or edited out—that she is seeing someone and that she won’t be focusing much on being a celebrity anymore. She just wants to focus her entire life on _someone._

Nayeon sighs. _Ah, fuck it._

“Yes.”

Jeongyeon is, for the lack of better words, taken aback. “W-What?”

Nayeon grabs Jeongyeon’s arms and encircles them around her waist. “I’ve decided to retire.”

The word hits Jeongyeon like a gun to her heart. _Retire?_ “Isn’t this your dream? To become a world-famous idol? You’ve established yourself already, Nabongs. Are you seriously going to retire this early in your career?”

The reaction is _not_ what Nayeon expected.

“If your meaning of ‘established’ is earning myself the monicker _‘The Nation’s Whore’_ then I think you misunderstood my dream, Jeong.”

The sudden change in Nayeon’s tone tugs at a string in Jeongyeon’s heart. “I’m sorry. I just…I’m surprised. Isn’t this your big dream? Scandals and all that _will_ be a part of it, but you’re here now, one of the biggest names in the industry. Are you really going to back down now?”

To be quite frank, the thought of Nayeon quitting her dream feels like slap on Jeongyeon’s face. They’ve thrown away what could have been many years together just for Nayeon to achieve this dream; they’ve broke up and eventually met again, yet here they are now...

“Jeong.”

The tone is soft but heavy. Jeongyeon is drawn to listen.

“I love the attention. I love the money. I love the fame. I love the expensive gifts people shower me with. When I step out of the building, camera lights practically shout at me from every angle, wanting a spare second of my attention. When I enter a room, all eyes are on me. I get showered with compliments everywhere. I earn millions, I spend millions.”

Nayeon takes a deep breath.

“But when I come back after a tiring day, an empty house greets me. During the holidays when most of my colleagues are away having the time of their lives with their families and friends, I’m alone in my house, drinking wine and celebrating by myself. My only friends are my manager, a few of my stylists, and thankfully, Jihyo, who decided to stick by my side through all the shit.”

Tears prickle at the back of her eyes. Nayeon doesn’t want her makeup to get smudged. She holds them back.

“I don’t even call my house a home because it never felt like one. People don’t love _me._ They love a version of me that I have perfectly constructed. On the rare occasions that I do _try_ to show a part of the _real me,_ people dub it as scandalous and controversial behavior.”

_Don’t fucking cry, Nayeon._

Nayeon looks up and takes heavy jagged breaths to keep her tears at bay. “I was only trying to live, but I didn’t feel alive.” She sighs and finally meets Jeongyeon’s eyes again. “Until I met you again.”

_I met you again._

“You bitch.” She sneers playfully and side-eyes the younger woman in front of her. Jeongyeon lets out a small chortle. She’s also tearful now. “You literally shoved the country life at my face. You made me wash my own clothes, pick up fallen twigs in a forest, break into someone else’s home—…”

“We _didn’t_ break into Momo’s--…”

“Shh!” Nayeon shoves her finger on Jeongyeon’s lips, hushing her. Jeongyeon rolls her eyes.

“You introduced me to the most _wonderful_ people in the entire world. Momo, Chaengie, and Dubu who are the quirkiest and most adorable trio, and to Mina, Sana, and Tzuyu, who are as fabulous and kindhearted as they are rich. You showed me _life_ and _home,_ and most importantly, _love._ ”

Nayeon untangles herself from Jeongyeon’s embrace and instead, chooses to hold the younger woman’s hand. “All I ever wanted before was for attention and love, and although I did get _some_ , it wasn’t the type of love I was yearning for. I only realized what I wanted a little later on and that I didn’t need an entire country to love me.”

Nayeon slowly pulls Jeongyeon in and rests their foreheads against each other’s. “I only need you to love me and be with me. I only want to wake up to you in the morning, drink coffee with you or go out for a jog, watch movies with you before going to bed, take showers together— _to save water—_ and celebrate the holidays with Christmas onesies and secret santas. I just want to spend our _entire_ lives together.”

She leans up and closes the distance between their lips for a soft, lingering kiss. When Nayeon pulls away, only then does Jeongyeon understand the feeling of being drunk on love.

“Now do you understand why I’d prefer being with you over _anything_ else in my entire life?”

Jeongyeon nods dreamily.

“And do you understand why I’m retiring?”

Jeongyeon affirms languorously. “Because you want to go do laundry and break into homes with me again. _Forever._ ”

Nayeon uncharacteristically lets out a cackle. “Not necessarily, but okay.” She runs her fingers through Jeongyeon’s hair and presses another quick kiss. “I just want to live beside you for the rest of my days.”

“That’s fine with me.” Jeongyeon kisses her again. “ _Very fine._ ”

***

(All of a sudden, everything makes sense. Everything feels like it’s going to be okay now.

Nayeon finishes recording the whole episode guesting within the day. She reminds herself that lowering herself to Seo Sewon’s opinions is a waste of time. She simply lets the man be. She follows when the stage manager tells her what to do and sometimes, what to say.

After the filming, she smiles and thanks each and every one of her makeup and managing team, remembering all the days she’s spent with them and how they never let her be alone—even though it’s kind of their job not to.

Nayeon eats burgers for dinner at the waiting room, with Jeongyeon beside her and Yubin across, talking and just sharing stories.

It’s half past eleven in the evening when Yubin drives them back to Nayeon’s apartment. )

***

“What are we going to do now?”

It’s a lovely sight for the eyes. Jeongyeon’s sprawled on Nayeon’s bed like a starfish; her hair is messed up and she’s still on her clothes from earlier. Nayeon just got out of the shower, still clad in her bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her head.

“What?” The older woman moves around the room, looking for her pajamas.

Jeongyeon lifts up her head. “What are we going to do now?” A chuckle escapes her lips. “We’re both jobless. We won’t be able to survive.”

Nayeon lets out a laugh. “Are you serious right now?”

Technically speaking, her contract is still not yet terminated and she’s still _employed_ under Byeol, but project-wise, Nayeon doesn’t have anything else to do now, no source of income. The only thing she’s waiting for is Seohyun’s confirmation and signal for her to release her public statement.

“Well, shouldn’t it be a problem?” Jeongyeon moves to lie on her side, resting her chin on her palm. “If we’re both unemployed and I’m already _broke_ , how the hell will we be able to survive?”

Nayeon dresses herself up in her pajamas before removing her robe and the towel on her head. Her hair is still wet and she kind of feels more sticky than refreshed, but she walks over to her bed and lies down next to Jeongyeon.

“Hmm…” Nayeon stretches her arms out, softly hitting Jeongyeon’s cheek in the process. “We have Momo’s pantry to feed us. And I’m sure the rich girlfriends’ squad would always be open to help.”

“We can’t _always_ rely on others, you know that.”

Nayeon lies on her side, facing Jeongyeon. She runs a hand through Jeongyeon’s mussed hair. “We’re not broke, okay? I’ll make sure we’ll live easily, adopt and raise kittens, not have to break into other people’s homes—”

“Ya _…_ ”

“—and have a stocked fridge so that we won’t have to both said people for food. Is that okay with you?”

“How can you say that?” Jeongyeon side-eyes the older woman but leans in to the touch. “What makes you so sure that--…”

“Well, I haven’t really calculated it all, wait.” Nayeon lies on her back and idly reaches for her phone on the nighstand beside the bed. She unlocks it and begins typing something. A minute later, she hands her phone to Jeongyeon. “Would that be enough?”

It’s an article. Jeongyeon reads it. 

**Top 10 Richest Korean Female Idols**

  1. **Im Nayeon  
** Two years after debuting, the Nation’s It Girl earned 1 billion won (S$1.2 mil) from endorsement fees, and even bought a new 7 billion won house. After moving to the acting world, at the peak of her career, Nayeon made more than the official profit of her agency, Byeol Entertainment, in a whole year, and had earned herself another nickname, “10 Billion Won Girl”. The singer-turned-actress also drives around a 181 million won Maserati Ghibli.



Jeongyeon fakes an icredulous scoff. “So you’re still part of the Rich Girlfriends’ Squad, I see?”

Nayeon grabs her phone back and tosses it somewhere behind her. “I guess so?”

“Well that’s good.” Jeongyeon moves closer to the older woman and wraps an arm around Nayeon’s pajama-clad waist. _She smells like magnolia._ “I won’t trouble myself aymore then. Should I quit my cashier job as well?”

“Only if you haven’t been fired yet.” Nayeon smirks, remembering how Jeongyeon still works as a cashier at a local grocery store at the neighboring town. “You’ve been gone for days you know.”

“Pft, they wouldn’t care.” Jeongyeon focuses on the little details of Nayeon’s face, the mole on her eyebrow, her unusually adorable tiny ears. “I don’t think I want to quit just yet though…”

“Do you enjoy punching barcodes of other people’s groceries now…?”

“Fuck off, Im.” Jeongyeon jabs Nayeon’s side playfully. “I don’t want to quit yet because then I can brag to everyone at the store all about my _rich_ girlfriend. And I can aslo drive your Maserati around.”

And then Nayeon remembers the practicalities necessary behind her decision.

“Wait…I have a question.” Jeongyeon breaks her thoughts. Nayeon only hums back. “Does this mean you’re going to _live with me?”_

The sound of Jeongyeon’s tone sends Nayeon into a fit. “Ya!” She releases herself from Jeongyeon’s hold and sits up on her bed, a childish pout on her face. “Why do you sound like you don’t want me to?”

“Well, it’s not that…” Jeongyeon sits up too. “I do want you to live with me there. It’s just that I don’t think your things will fit in my house. Your bedroom alone is bigger than my entire living room and dining room space.”

“If you want, I’ll only bring with me my essentials—clothes and a few things. I’ll leave the rest here at the apartment.”

“And then…?”

“This can be our…vacation house—or something like that…”

Jeongyeon laughs. “Okay. That sounds fine with me.”

Nayeon moves up the bed, fixing the pillows on top of each other before resting her back on it. “When can I move in?”

“My flight back is next week.” Jeongyeon follows behind and does the same. “You can visit but I think the processing for a Visa would take long.”

“That’s okay.” Nayeon hums and rests her head on the younger woman’s shoulder. “I’ll be fine as long as you’re the one I’m going home to.”

Jeongyeon smiles, places a soft kiss on the crown of Nayeon’s head. “We’re set then. All have to wait for is Seohyun’s confirmation of your contract?”

Nayeon nods. “That, and then my public statement.” 

Jeongyeon grabs Nayeon’s hand on the covers and laces their fingers together. “I’m excited. I’m going home soon and I’m bringing you with me.”

Nayeon chuckles. She holds Jeongyeon’s hand tighter. “We’re going home soon.”

***

**BREAKING: NAYEON TERMINATES CONTRACT, ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT**

Nation’s It Girl Im Nayeon has terminated her contract with long-time agency **Byeol Entertainment** and has decided to retire from the industry, according to her company.

The idol has released her public statement earlier this afternoon:

_“Hello, this is Nayeon._

_For so long I have dreamt of making other people happy with my singing and my ability to entertain. I decided to become an idol to share these abilities and try to help in adding more happiness into the world. Unfortunately, upon the process of doing so, I have slowly realized that I am losing myself. That is why I have come to this decision._

_I am not explaining myself or my decisions. I simply think that when you’re not happy anymore, instead of focusing on other mundane things, we should focus more on finding our happiness again and healing._

_I want to apologize and sincerely relay my utmost gratitude to everyone who has supported me all the way. I apologize if this has been shocking to you. But I hope that you all understand. It has been a great time being able to put smiles on other people’s faces._

_I hope that everyone can find their own happiness soon as well. I truly hope these words will reach you with sincerity. This is Im Nayeon. Thank you for the wonderful years.”_

About three hours later, Byeol Entertainment, Im’s former label, confirmed the retirement of the idol-turned-actress and her contract termination.

Nayeon’s last television appearance is confirmed to be on Hello Counselor’s Christmas Special to be broadcasted next week on KBS2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who have stayed and waited and passionately left comments on every chapter. I wouldn't have done it without everyone's encouragement and kind words. I would definitely continue writing in the future, so i hope you all stay and continue reading whenever. 
> 
> Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. See you in the next universe I'll create <3


	18. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and a Lily Flower in 100 Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayeon feels a smile tug at her lips. This once was the most beautiful sight her eyes could ever lay eyes on: Jeongyeon, in the morning, before the sun rises. Now, now she can only beg to differ.

**_A Postlude, 1195 Days later_ **

Nayeon's already awake before the alarm clock even goes off.

It's 5:04 in the morning and the device doesn't ring until 5:30. Nayeon decides to prepare early and go for a morning run. When her mind is too busy thinking of other things, a jog is always her go-to therapy. And besides, the other side of the bed is already empty. Jeongyeon must be awake as well.

By the time Nayeon steps out of the room, the entire house is quiet save for the pitapat of the loose faucet in the main bathroom and the sound of the coffee machine grinding and gurgling.

She sees Jeongyeon already dressed up in the kitchen, sitting down on one of the island stools, holding up her mug with two hands, pressed against her lips, staring far off into the distance.

Nayeon feels a smile tug at her lips. This once was the most beautiful sight her eyes could ever lay eyes on: Jeongyeon, in the morning, before the sun rises. Now, now she can only beg to differ.

“You’re up early.” It leaves her lips in a cautious whisper, as if they’re still worrying over the possibility of waking someone else up.

Jeongyeon looks up from her mug and follows the sight of Nayeon as she walks to the kitchen cabinets, pulls out her tumbler, and pours herself the remnants of Jeongyeon’s brewed morning coffee.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Nayeon grabs a carton of fresh milk from the fridge and pours it into her coffee. “Thinking too much again?”

Nowadays, conversations that last longer than five minutes are very uncommon. To be able to get the chance to talk like this again is surprising for the couple.

Jeongyeon lets out a sigh. “It’s been hectic…”

"You can say that again.” Nayeon snorts, capping her tumbler close. “At least the worst is over now.”

The younger woman stands up from her seat and finishes the remaining coffee in her mug. “I hope so.”

Jeongyeon leaves her mug in the sink and heads out to the front porch.

Despite everything, Nayeon and Jeongyeon—or at least one of them—always make sure to have time for themselves. Losing their self in the process of taking care of someone else will only do them no good in the long run.

No one wants to have regrets in the future.

After a while, Nayeon joins Jeongyeon in warming up in the front porch. Both of them are dressed in their respective jogging attire—Jeongyeon with her Adidas tracksuit and her Primeknit, and Nayeon with her Adidas cropped tank top, joggers, and Primeknit.

“Ten laps?” Nayeon finishes her breathing exercises. “From here, around the park, and back?”

Jeongyeon just nods. “Did you Mina text you? Are they already awake?”

“Not yet.”

They end their conversation there and begin jogging around town, preparing themselves for the big day ahead.

***

Nayeon is wheezing by the fourth fucking lap.

Jeongyeon doesn’t even suppress her amusement at the sigh of the older woman who’s now sitting hunched on a rock, draining her entire 1 liter water jug and trying to regain her circulation.

“I can’t—HAHA—believe this!”

Nayeon attempts to throw the jug at the younger woman but the latter dodges with the agility of an athlete. “Ya!”

“I thought you were doing yoga with Mina and Sana? What the fuck is this?”

“Am I not allowed to have the body for my age?” Nayeon’s gotten her breathing normal. She stands up and moves away from the rock.

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes at the excuses. “You _have_ the body of a 34-year-old, but not the fitness of one.”

“Shut up!”

Nayeon lunges forward in an attempt to throw a punch at Jeongyeon, but the latter only runs away and begins to finish off their remaining laps.

Nayeon, with the deepest, most exhausted outbreath, follows sluggishly behind.

***

They finish their morning run at quarter to seven.

The sun is already rising, and the two find themselves back in their front porch, stretching their limbs and cooling down.

“Are you going to wear your white off-shoulder later? With the strapped heels?” Jeongyeon opens up the conversation, stretching her right leg for ten seconds before moving to the other one.

Nayeon’s sitting down on the grass, stretching her own legs. “Yep."

“Do you think your off-shoulder would still fit though?”

“YA!” This time, Nayeon is successful when she throws a pebble at Jeongyeon’s face. “I only gained a few pounds! I’m _trying_ to lose them!”

Jeongyeon feels her stomach clench with all the laughing. It’s been _so_ long since they found time for themselves like this. It’s always been a hectic life nowadays. There was never really a time that the two women found each other this carefree.

After a few more rounds of jokes and laughter 

(“I think I’m going to wear the one with the cherry pattern.” Jeongyeon ponders.

“You mean the dress you wore that made you look like the mother in a baby shower?” 

“YA!”)

the two women find themselves already preparing for the day.

While Nayeon takes her shower, Jeongyeon already begins making necessary calls. 

Her family is on their flight to Mitan; Nayeon’s mom and sister are already checked-in at the nearest hotel; Sana and Tzuyu are on their way to help out with the preparations; and Dahyun and Chaeyoung are already at the backyard, putting up the decorations.

“Why didn’t you just hire some fancy events planner?” Dahyun grunts as she stands on her tiptoes, trying to tie the ends of the string of pennant flags to the tree’s branch.

Chaeyoung stands by the chair, holding it in place and keeping an eye for the blonde tofu. “Yeah, unnie.” She hands Dahyun another strip of tape just in case. “With Nayeon unnie’s connections, you could’ve hired Lelian Chew or Sarah Haywood.”

“Lelian Chew plans weddings”, Jeongyeon corrects as she tries to build one of the _ten_ other cupcake ferriswheels Nayeon bought. “And who’s Sarah Haywood?” She frowns at the younger girl. “Nayeon and I both want this event to be as intimate and done with effort as much as possible.”

Dahyun steps down from the chair and claps her hands together, getting rid of the little twigs stuck on her cotton gloves. “You mean, as strenuous and expensive as possible?”

It didn’t matter—at least, not to Nayeon anyways. As much as Jeongyeon _did_ try to suggest some events planners, Nayeon quickly turned down every idea. She insisted a personal event, and her determination rubbed off on Jeongyeon in the long run. The woman had a point, Jeongyeon admits. _Nothing beats a product done with bare hands and full of effort._

The trail of silence is enough of a response for the two younger women. Chaeyoung snorts. “Oh right, they’re rich. Money isn’t an issue here…”

Jeongyeon rolls her eyes. “Come on, you two. Don’t be a downer. We’re doing this okay?”

“We know unnie.” Dahyun walks over and offers a helping hand to the struggling woman, who has been aggressively assembling the cupcake ferriswheel for the past fifteen minutes now. “We just don’t want you both to stress yourself any further. Ever since the first night back from the hospital, there hasn’t been a day where you two weren’t drained and fatigued.”

Jeongyeon feels her hands soften and her shoulders slump at Dahyun’s touch. She didn’t even know her body was that tense.

Nobody in the group could deny the downward spiral of both Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s emotional and physical stability in the past three months. In return, everyone in the group volunteered to help whatever they can.

“And because of that…” Jeongyeon smiles at the two shorter women before her, clad in their own beautiful dresses—Dahyun in a white floral macramé lace maxi dress and Chaeyoung in her own floral mini dress. “Nayeon and I will _forever_ be grateful of you all.”

Without a doubt, Jeongyeon is sure she and Nayeon wouldn’t have survived the past few months without their girls.

After setting up the strings of pastel-colored pennant flags on all the surrounding trees in Jeongyeon and Nayeon’s backyard, Dahyun and Chaeyoung move on to setting up the letter balloons on the mini stage set-up in front.

The color motif of the important gathering is pastel, its theme being floral and bohemian—courtesy of “Nayeon’s basic ass”, Jeongyeon’s words. (Though everyone _secretly_ agrees that the bohemian theme is _way_ better than Jeongyeon’s own suggestion: Glow in the Dark—at one in the afternoon…)

In the middle of setting up more flower garlands all around the place, Sana and Tzuyu show up in their own dazzling white dresses that look more suitable to be on Paris runways than in a simple event like Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s celebration.

“We come bearing gifts!” Sana announces with her effervescent voice and aura radiating all over the place. Dahyun greets her fiancée with a kiss on the lips before going back to setting up the letter balloons.

“Where are they?” Jeongyeon hugs her two best friends welcome.

Tzuyu pulls out a robin egg blue-colored paper bag and the smile on Jeongyeon’s face slowly fades away. “Chae picked it for--…”

“You _didn’t_ …” Jeongyeon is dumbfounded. She hesitates before setting her hands on the Tiffany & Co. paper bag. “Really? Is this supposed to be some kind of diamond-bedazzled bib?”

Chaeyoung settles for side-hugging her girlfriend. “Not really, unnie. It’s actually a jade bracelet for luck. We did our research.” She glances at Tzuyu with a smile that holds so much satisfaction, fondness, and love, Jeongyeon wants to _puke._

“I told you guys not to spend too much on gifts! We don’t need--…”

Jeongyeon’s chastising is only cut short when a man suddenly appears through the backdoor, walking backwards as he pulls a utility dolly with him. On the dolly is _colossal_ box that can fit Jeongyeon _and_ Tzuyu inside, _standing._

The mischievous grin on Sana’s face is enough of an indication that this is _her gift_.

“Satang…” Jeongyeon gulps, ogling at the box with gaping eyes. “What is _that_?”

“Well, Dahyunnie and I were planning to go for something practical but then I remembered, we only live once, right? And when I was young, I’ve _always_ wanted one of these indoor gyms so I thought, why not?” Sana’s enthusiasm is over the roof, just like Jeongyeon’s frustration because she and Nayeon definitely made it clear in their groupchat: **NO EXPENSIVE GIFTS.**

Apparently, these two didn’t hear. Jeongyeon only hopes Jihyo, Momo and Mina didn’t go overboard as well.

There’s nothing to do now but to accept the gifts, even though Sana and Dahyun’s human-size box would probably take up the entire corner Jeongyeon and Nayeon prepared for the guests’ gifts.

The two newly-arrived women immediately help out with the remaining decorations to set for the place, Tzuyu volunteering for the taller decorations to put up and Sana with the tables and chairs.

After a few more minutes, the catering arrives. Nayeon is in-charge of the food preparations but is nowhere to be found therefore Jeongyeon excuses herself first, asks Sana to oversee the catering, and runs back to their house to look for the older woman.

Unlike earlier that morning, their house is now rampant and alive. All the doors are opened for the guests once they arrive, curtains are replaced with lace white, allowing streams of sunlight to enter and illuminate the entire place. Jeongyeon’s never seen their small, protected house so open for everyone to see and enter.

_This is really happening, huh?_

She finds Nayeon in their room, sitting on the edge of their bed, staring.

“Wow…” Jeongyeon feels her breath get knocked out of her lungs. Even though seated, she can see the way the off-shoulder dress hugs Nayeon’s curves perfectly, as if her body hasn’t changed throughout the years. Her hair is perfectly tied up in a high-ponytail with her cute wavy ‘air bangs’ perfectly in place.

The moment Nayeon looks up at her, Jeongyeon feels like her heart is going to leap out of her chest and burst.

“Does it look okay?” Nayeon stands up to show herself to Jeongyeon. It only takes away Jeongyeon's breath even more.

Jeongyeon walks inside the room and towards the lovely woman with a dreamy smile, "You look like the first time we met.”

Nayeon frowns. “You mean, like a snobby popular bitch who has daddy issues and dates the basketball team captain?”

The precision elicits a chortle from Jeongyeon. “You _did_ look like that though…”

Nayeon smiles herself, nodding. “I did, huh?”

“But no, not that…”

“How then?”

“You look like the first time we met”, Jeongyeon wraps an arm around Nayeon’s waist and pulls her close. “Like the campus It Girl who’s secretly dating the loser Track and Field co-captain.”

Nayeon guffaws. “Right? You _did_ look like a loser back then…” Jeongyeon pouts, but it’s easily erased by the chaste kiss Nayeon leaves on her lips. “But you were the _coolest_ loser I ever met.”

“And fell in love with…”

“Silly”, Nayeon presses another kiss. “I only fell in love with one loser my entire life.”

If Jeongyeon could describe what living with Nayeon and looking forward to the rest of her days with the same woman, would feel like, it would be akin to a rainy day with hot coffee by the windows and chill music playing; it would be breathing fresh air after an entire life of drowning; it would be going home after a tiring day and getting a warm shower with some nice Italian wine.

Being with Nayeon is like all the joys of Jeongyeon’s world, and more, combined into one person.

“Maybe that’s because Ryoma is a hunky Japanese guy and definitely _not_ counted as a loser…” Jeongyeon manages to tease but it only earns herself a jab on the rib.

Nayeon pulls away from the hug and walks over to her dressing table at the corner of the room. She sits down on the upholstered ottoman and begins putting on her jewelry.

Jeongyeon swears she could watch the scene forever.

“You don’t need to bedazzle yourself much”, she comments, considering the way flashy diamond earrings or necklaces will definitely not work with the off-shoulder minimal look Nayeon's trying to pull off.

"I won’t. I’ll only wear the essentials.” Nayein locks her small diamond earrings in place and wears her thin wedding band. “See?” She stands up one last time to give Jeongyeon a stylish spin.

Jeongyeon swoons at the sight. _I can’t believe she fell in love with someone like me…_

“Oh, by the way, is the catering here already?”

Jeongyeon snaps out of dreamland. “Oh, uh, yes. Sana’s handling it.”

“Okay…” Nayeon puckers her lips together to spread out the light red shade lipstick she just applied. “What time will mom and dad arrive?”

“They’re still on their flight but I’m guessing they’ll head over here as soon as they land”, Jeongyeon takes a seat on the edge of their bed, resting her feet from all the walking around.

“I saw a man with a big box walk in through the window”, Nayeon mentions with a frown reflecting from the mirror. “Was that--…”

“Sana and Dahyun’s gift…”

“Wow...” Nayeon is just stunned, mouth hanging slightly ajar. “Didn’t we tell them _not_ to go overboard with the gifts? It might sound really cliche but their presence is already enough.”

The girls' presence is _definitely_ enough, Jeongyeon thinks, considering how their group is literally scattered all around the world, travelling weekly and living the extravagant, workaholic lives of the successful women that they are. 

Dahyun and Chaeyoung flew all the way from Korea. Tzuyu just arrived from Romania after a photoshoot and Sana had to catch her flight at the break of dawn just to be present. Jihyo, who’s still on her way, is coming from San Francisco after a business trip.

Literally their group being complete is enough alone but Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s crackhead friends just won’t settle for that.

“I think they’re playing some game on who gives the best gift...” Jeongyeon chuckles, remembering the flood of messages in their groupchat. Although the two older women barely reply now due to their business, they still see the group’s weird exchange of words and conversations. 

“And who’s leading?” Nayeon reaches down to strap her platform heels, a grin on her face.

“Chaetzu gave a Tiffany & Co. Jade bracelet and Sana and Dahyun bought an indoor gym.” 

Nayeon looks up at her wife. “An indoor gym?”

Jeongyeon snorts. “I know right? I was stunned as well.”

“What would a 100-day old baby do with an indoor gym? Sit-ups and curl ups?”

“They’re really taking this whole Best Aunt and Godmother game too far...”

Nayeon sighs and stands up. “I just hope Mina and Momo don’t go overboard as well. Jihyo would probably splurge but more practically, say, a bedazzled pacifier?”

Jeongyeon lets out a laugh. " _Definitely_ a God Jihyo move…"

Their conversation is cut short by the sound of an engine roaring from outside. Jeongyeon stands up and takes a look from the window. A familiar Range Rover pulls up in their driveway.

"I think Momo and Mina are here…"

Nayeon quickly finishes the rest of her look and runs over to fix Jeongyeon's as well. She runs a hand through Jeongyeon's loose bangs, fixing them in place, and unwrinkles the creases on the younger woman's cherry-patterned dress. 

After one final touch, Nayeon decides to press the another kiss on Jeongyeon's soft lips. She pulls away with a deep inhale. "You ready?"

Jeongyeon smiles and leans closer for another kiss. "Let's do this." 

***

By the time Jeongyeon and Nayeon greet Momo and Mina by the driveway, the entire group is already waiting with big, affectionate smiles on their faces.

The Range Rover's engine roars to a stop only when they're complete in the driveway, and Mina is the first one to step out by the driver's seat door.

She greets everyone with a hug, a peck on the cheek for Jeongyeon and Nayeon, before running back to the car and opening the back door to pull out the baby stroller.

Jeongyeon helps with assembling the foldable stroller while Nayeon helps with Momo as they unbuckle the seatbelt on the little baby girl asleep and strapped to the safety seat.

"Aigoo", Nayeon coos as she finally holds on to the adorable sleeping baby dressed in a cute traditional Hanbok. "How's you get her to sleep so peacefully?"

Jeongyeon pushes the stroller over to her wife. "Mina said Momo worn her out by playing." 

"You did?" Nayeon turns to Momo who only nods back sheepishly. 

The moment Nayeon successfully places her child into the comforts of the Silver Cross Balmoral pram she and Jeongyeon bought a few months prior, the entire group immediately crowds around the sleeping baby, swooning as if they're looking at the best thing in the world since sliced bread.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon agree, they're not wrong.

"Lily is _so_ adorable, unnie!" Chaeyoung murmurs in a hushed tone, completely _in love_ with Nayeon and Jeongyeon's baby. 

Sana volunteers to push Lily's custom pram all the while Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu walk follow closely beside it, still unable to fathom the presence of the adorable baby girl as if they haven't seen the child yet (Nayeon and Jeongyeon _beg_ to differ. The girls toss around their child almost _all the time_ , borrowing Lily and babysitting)

Nayeon and Jeongyeon follow closely behind their best friends, catching up with Momo and Mina, their top-pick couple—when babysitting Lily—who looked out for their 100 day-old child the night before.

"Did she cry a lot?" Nayeon asks, interested to find out if her child will grow up like her other mom, more introverted, or her, a society's darling. 

Mina purses her lips. "She didn't much, probably because Momo speaks baby and feeds her before she could even _think_ of crying."

Jeongyeon smiles teasingly at her other friend. "Probably getting ready for your own baby when the day comes…"

Momo's cheeks beet red. "W-What?"

Nayeon chuckles, agreeing. Momo and Mina have been married _before_ them and longer than them, yet still haven't decided to settle down and raise a family. "Are you not considering one?" 

Mina shakes her head, looks away for a short second. "It's not that…" 

"Oh come on", Jeongyeon snorts. "You both are the most qualified parents-to-be among the group, even _before_ we had Lily! Now you both keep on borrowing our child, why don't you two just get your own?"

At the tone of Jeongyeon's voice, Nayeon prods her with a meaningful glare. 

It's only then does Jeongyeon realize her insensitive words. She looks down, ashamed. "I'm sorry, Minari. I wasn't careful with my words." 

Mina smiles. "It's okay, Jeong. Truth be told...Momo and I...are actually considering...adopting…" 

Nayeon's eyes beam with so much happiness and excitement. "You are?!"

Momo nods shyly. "We were checking out a few adoption centers and we just fell in love with the kids." 

It doesn't take long before Nayeon tackles the couple with an excruciating embrace. "I'm so happy for you two!"

Mina and Momo only chuckle before suddenly remembering about their gift for their goddaughter. Momo returns to the Rover to grab the wrapped box from the backseat.

Jeongyeon narrows her eyes at the two suspiciously. "I hope _you two_ didn't go overboard like the other two." 

Momo hands over the box to Nayeon. 

Nayeon feels the box first and even tries to shake it. The object inside is a little heavy and no sound resonates from the box. It must be big enough to fill the space. 

"What is it?" 

Momo, with eyes creased in her lovely, ecstatic smile, giggles. "Mina picked it out. We had it bought in London." 

Jeongyeon is already unsure about this. Mina picking and buying gifts only mean excessive and unnecessary spending. "What is it?"

Momo and Mina refuse to answer.

Jeongyeon sighs and grabs the box from Nayeon's hold. She shakes the box again, this time aggressively, and Mina reacts with trepidation, eyes bulging out of their sockets as she holds out for the gift. "No, don't!"

The reaction is all _too familiar_. Mina only reacts like that when…

"Holy shit." Nayeon whispers and takes the box away from a grinning Jeongyeon. "Is this a fucking game console?"

Momo gives in, still giddy and _shaking_ , like she's about to burst from excitement. "It's a Nintendo Wii Supreme!"

Jeongyeon feels her heart drop. " _What."_

"It's not really that much--..."

"It'S nOt rEaLLy tHaT mUcH??" Jeongyeon feels like the Spongebob meme. "Mina! You got our 100 day-old baby a 22-karat gold _game console_?!"

Nayeon feels like choking. "A _game console_?"

Mina and Momo sheepishly smile to themselves. "It isn't much…" Mina's still trying to ease the situation but the horror on Nayeon and Jeongyeon's faces are just too much. "My uncle in London knew someone who was selling his and we made a deal so I bought one for a cheaper price."

Jeongyeon is still taken aback. "And _'cheap_ ' is…?

(Mina's definition of the word is generally questionable)

The Japanese shrugs her shoulders. "About...570 million won?"

" _Holy shit."_

"That's cheap already?!" Jeongyeon can't believe the extreme measures her wealthy best friends will take just to win a stupid Best Godmother award.

Momo finally senses the frustration of her best friends. "We were actually considering a Bugatti--..."

"A _car?!"_

"--baby car…" Momo finishes. "But they were already out of production, so we settled for the one accessible which was the wii supreme."

Jeongyeon and Nayeon find themselves just sighing in defeat. There's nothing that can't be done anymore. It's no one's fault if their friends are filthy rich and can afford such gifts for a 100 day-old baby, even if all they get in return is a stupid handwritten A4 "Best Godmothers" certificate signed by Lily's tiny fingerprints.

Despite everything, Nayeon and Jeongyeon are still beyond grateful. 

***

Shortly after the celebrant's arrival, guests begin arriving as well, with their own _normal_ gifts for the baby girl.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon are tending to the guests while Sana and Momo keep an eye for a sleeping Lily in her pram, Chaeyoung following behind with a portable fan directed towards the slumbering baby. 

A familiar shriek resonates around the backyard a few minutes later, and Nayeon finds herself running towards her mother and in-laws who arrived together.

"My baby…" Mrs. Im smiles at her eldest daughter, enveloping Nayeon in a tight embrace. Seoyoon stands beside their mother with their present in hand. 

Nayeon quickly hugs her baby sister and receives the gift. She moves over to her in-laws and greets them with another tight hug. 

" _Eomma, Appa",_ she smiles as she hugs Jeongyeon's dad and mom. "Thank you for being able to come." 

Mrs. Yoo shrugs it off with a chuckle. "Of course we'll come! Wherever you are in the world, we'll always come to see our daughter _and_ granddaughter. Jeong’s grandmother would’ve wanted to come here as well but I’m sure she’s watching closely above."

Nayeon feels her heart leap out of her chest. It's still surreal how well she's getting along with her in-laws. Mr. and Mrs. Yoo always treated her like she was their own, as if they have forgotten Nayeon and Jeongyeon's past breakup the moment Jeongyeon reintroduced Nayeon into the family years back.

Jeongyeon catches a glimpse of her parents and immediately run over after bidding farewell to the other guests. She happily skips like a child, Nayeo 's suddenly doubting if it's the same person she married. 

Nayeon also greets Seungyeon and Seoyeon with a hug. 

"Unnie, I'm so glad you two could make it!" She shrieks with utter glee. Seungyeon's in the middle of filming the last episodes of her new MBC drama and Seoyeon has her own family to tend to back in Suwon. 

"Of course we'll come!" Seoyeon is the perfect fusion of Jeongyeon and Seungyeon, Nayeon is amazed. Even the giddiness when they're excited is the same. 

Seungyeon laughs along their older sister. "I'm also _definitely_ not allowing Mina and Momo to win Best Godmother!" 

Nayeon's eyes widen. " _No way."_ Her jaw falls open. "Unnie, you're in it too!?"

Seungyeon and Seoyeon share a loud laugh, attracting their parents' attention. 

Mrs. Yoo immediately catches up with the conversation, "Aigoo~ those two are in it as well! They almost sold the house in Suwon as a gift!" 

Jeongyeon chokes in her breath. " _What?!"_

Seungyeon is wheezing at the reaction of their baby sister. "But don't worry, we didn't sell the house…"

Nayeon sighs in relief.

"...just a portion of it…" 

If it were possible to just strangle all the contestants of the _fucking_ Best Godmother competition, Jeongyeon wouldn't have hesitated and just went right with it. 

Seoyeon explains that Seungyeon is just messing with their younger sisters, and actually hands over a small paper bag with a cute drawing of a baby on it. 

"Seola drew it", she states with pride. "She said the baby is Lily." 

Nayeon swoons at the cute paper bag, imagining five-year-old Seola, Seoyeon's daughter and Lily's older cousin, drawing with her adorable art tools and impressive skills.

"What is it, unnie?" Jeongyeon tries to sneak a peek but fails miserably. 

Seungyeon smacks her sister's face away. "It's not as expensive as Mina and Momo's, but it's definitely useful especially for you two in the future." 

"Is it the deed to the house?" 

Seungyeon fakes a defeated sigh. "We tried, but eomma didn't give it to us." 

Mrs. Yoo just hits her second eldest on the back. The entire Yoo and Im family laugh together and head over to see the special celebrant of the day, still at the care of her godmothers.

While everyone swoons at their baby, Jeongyeon and Nayeon turn to greet more of their guests arriving, including two very special women all the way from Korea.

"Seohyun unnie!" Nayeon runs towards the sophisticated women approaching. Seohyun still radiates sheer power even with her age and all the years Nayeon hasn't seen her. 

"Nayeon-ah!" She holds her arms out for a giant hug. "I missed you!" 

Nayeon smiles as she pulls away. "You look _amazing_ , unnie! I thought you wouldn't be able to come!" 

Seohyun scoffs, "And miss out the chance to see the famous baby girl of Im Nayeon and Yoo Jeongyeon?" She feigns a dramatic gasp. "I _would never."_

Nayeon only laughs. Jeongyeon follows quickly behind and hugs Seohyun welcome. They exchange greetings and how-are-you's while Nayeon moves on to welcome the other familiar woman arriving alongside Seohyun.

"And you _really_ didn't bother dressing for the occasion, huh?" Nayeon narrows her eyes at the older woman dressed in ripped jeans, stilettos, and a white basic tee. "Yubin unnie, you haven't changed a bit." 

Yubin lets out a cackle. "It's good to see you too, Nayeon-ah. I see the positions I've told you about worked in your favor?" 

Nayeon's cheeks blush. "Ya, unnie!" 

Yubin laughs and wraps her former idol in a giant, excruciating hug. "I've missed you, you little fucker." She ruffles Nayeon's hair before pulling away. "I never manage any idol as chaotic as you ever again." 

Nayeon pouts as she fixes her hair. "Rightfully so. Nobody's as chaotic as me." 

Yubin nods wholeheartedly to that. 

They send off Yubin and Seohyun to their table just in time as two other familiar faces come entering from the backdoor. All eyes are on them as they make their way to the equally-stunned Nayeon and Jeongyeon. 

"I didn't think they'd accept tbe invite…" Jeongyeon whispers under her breath just as Nayeon pinches her to stand up properly and to _behave._

She approaches the two first. "Ryoma, Bona, it's so nice of you to be able to come." 

This is the plot twist of Jeongyeon and Nayeon's story. Not in a million chances did Jeongyeon ever consider the possibility Bona– _her_ ex–and Ryoma–Nayeon's _ex_?–being together in the end. 

_Well, this is better than the other way around…_

Bona gives Nayeon a hug. "We wouldn't miss it for anything." She hands over their gift. "It's not as grand as what Chaeyoung told me she bought for your little one, but it's really special." 

It's a medium-sized box wrapped with teal paper. "What is it?" 

Jeongyeon walks over to shake Ryoma's hand and give Bona a welcoming hug. "Wow, you got Lily a gift?" 

Ryoma chortles. "We couldn't come empty-handed." 

"Is it...a house?" Jeongyeon tries to guess. 

Bona and Ryoma's eyes widen. "What? No?" 

Nayeon rolls her eyes at her wife. "Is it a bedazzled bib?"

"An indoor gym?"

"A 22-karat gold Nintendo Wii?" 

"A private jet?"

Nayeon stops and turns to her wife with a confused frown. "Who gave Lily a private jet?" 

Jeongyeon shrugs her shoulders cluelessly. "I was just giving a guess…" 

Ryoma and Bona look like they're staring at two aliens, completely appalled by their guesses and at the same time, entertained.

"Someone gave 22-karat gold Nintendo Wii to a 100 day-old baby?" Ryoma laments in disbelief, shocked yet completely amused. 

Jeongyeon laughs. "I know right? I wondered the same thing…" 

"Who gave it?" Bona wonders with the same delightful smile on her face.

"Mina and Momo…" 

"Ahh…" the couple before them simultaneously nod, completely understanding. 

"Apparently they have a competition going on", Jeongyeon explains. "About who gives the best gift." She turns to Bona, "You should've joined! Maybe you could've given Lily that backyard life-size dollhouse you had where we used to hide at to makeout."

Nayeon and Ryoma let out a loud laugh at Jeongyeon's suggestion and Bona's petrified reaction. 

It's funny now, how these would have been the cause of fights and arguments back then but are now simply entertaining and embarrassing stories to share and tell each other.

"You should've told me about the contest then", Bona laughs. "I would've gotten Lily something else."

"What is this anyway?" Nayeon shakes the box _again_ to try and hear any sound but unfortunately fails _again._

"It's a baby bath set." Ryoma smiles with pride. Nayeon chuckles, recalling the man's love for expensive products for the body. 

"What, is it a Chanel baby bath set?" Jeongyeon snorts because if there's anything she can never forget about Bona, it's Bona's subtlety when it comes to flaunting her wealth. 

"JK7." 

Jeongyeon sighs in defeat. _See?_

Nayeon only jabs Ryoma on the arm. "Johnson's would've been okay! You two _really_ didn't have to buy such an expensive bath set for Lily." 

"It's least we could do, Nayeon." Bona insists. "We could've gotten her the private jet but we settled for this…" 

Jeongyeon laughs along her ex's attempt at joking, to which only falls at Nayeon's slow ass still not getting it. 

They lead Bona and Ryoma to Lily's pram and let them meet their little one first before having Chaeyoung escort them to their table with Seohyun and Yubin. 

Jihyo arrives last, making her grand entrance. Clad in a white business suit, the powerful CEO walks in charismatically, but loses her shit when she sees her two _best friends_ again. 

"Najeong!" 

Nayeon and Jeongyeon don't even have time to react. Jihyo tackles them down to an excruciating embrace, as if they haven't seen each other for _years_ (when it's only been a few weeks).

"I thought I wouldn't make it!" Jihyo exasperates as she pulls away. "My flight got delayed and I was seriously so anxious about not making it to Lily's Baek-il." 

Nayeon feels ecstatic to see her best friend again. "We'd move the entire program just so you could make it." 

Jeongyeon agrees. Everything wouldn't be possible without Jihyo. 

"Oh, my gift will arrive late though…" Jihyo suddenly frowns. 

_Here we go again_. Nayeon narrows her eyes at her best friend skeptically. "What's your gift? God forbit it be another gift Lily won't be able to use until she's a teenager because I swear, Hyo, I will definitely be disappointed." 

Jihyo waves the doubt away with a smug grunt. "Come on, Nabongs. Do you really think I wouldn't be practical when it comes to my goddaughter?" 

Jeongyeon still finds it shady. She doesn't even trust her friends anymore when it comes to practical buying especially when it comes to Lily. "What is it then? A private jet?"

Nayeon jab her wife's side. "What is it with you and private jets?"

Jeongyeon shrugs. 

Jihyo laughs at the couple. "Just wait for it some time around tomorrow." 

"Ugh. Fine." Nayeon gives in. 

They lead Jihyo to the group's table where she's immediately greeted by warm (excruciating) hugs and loud shrieks from their friends. 

After a few more minutes, the entire program finally begins. Jeongyeon and Nayeon pull away Lily's pram and set it to the center, in front of everyone. 

Emcee Dahyun proceeds with the traditional programs first, starting off with the offertories and worships to Samshin, before moving on to the food and smaller games, a modern touch to the usually-conservative celebration. 

The traditional parts of the celebration is ended with a few messages from the celebrant's parents.

Jeongyeon is the first one to take the stage. She smiles at Dahyun before grabbing the mic and greeting all their guests. 

"I would like to thank all of you here today first for being able to come to such an important celebration in our daughter's life." She smiles at Nayeon's direction and at the sight of her wife with their daughter, Lily, giggling on her lap. 

"If someone would ask Jeongyeon from years ago whether she would expect to end up with a life like this: in a small house somewhere in the mountains, thousands of miles away from her family, married to an insanely beautiful woman and has her own insanely adorable child; she would have gladly refuted the idea and just laugh it off."

Jeongyeon sees Nayeon's eyes gleam under the light of the golden sun. She falls in love everytime.

"A few years ago, there was this popular idol who stumbled in front of my door. I thought I was hallucinating when I received a text message from her telling me she was outside." 

Jeongyeon laughs at the blissful memory. "It was my ex, apparently. And her being someone I wasn't exactly fond of when all she wanted was reconciliation, I made sure her stay with me was hell on land." 

_(There is absolutely no ulterior motive behind Jeongyeon’s plans. She did not plot a tour around the area to terrorize Nayeon and perhaps drive her away from the small village. Jeongyeon just knows it’ll be good to show the modest older woman the reality of life before getting to the good part.)_

"But gradually, I realized my irritation wasn't directed towards her but rather, to myself. Because Nayeon literally just shoved herself back into my world and I found myself falling helplessly in love all over again. The next thing I knew, we were going camping with my friends and I was backpacking all the way to Korea just to see her again." 

_(The second time her recklessness and irrationality does sink in, Yoo Jeongyeon already finds herself standing in the middle of a slightly teeming baggage reclaim area at Gimpo. It’s when she sees her egregious duffel bag coming to light amidst a sea of expensive luggage and travel carriers, does she only realize: this is fucking it. There’s no turning back now.)_

"Nayeon, until now I've always asked myself why did you choose to love me when you had the most of the country's popular at your pedestal. Everyone was in love you yet you chose to fall in love with me, a broke cashier lady with crackhead friends, who can't even take care of herself properly." 

Recalling all the times she's seen herself claw her way to survival and all the times she's had her self-esteem stepped on and crumpled into pieces by the entire world, Jeongyeon tries to hold back the prickling liquid at her eyes.

( _I don't belong here. In your world.)_

"But here we are now, a few years later, married and living in the same old, but better small cozy house, with our little angel who looks more like you than me, our little Lily." 

Jeongyeon remembers all the tests done and all the pills and injections just to conceive, and recalls that one night Nayeon told her, as they sat by the backyard porch with their ice cream pints, feet hanging like children on the edge of a bridge, with welling eyes and a stick behind her back.

( _"Jeong, I think it worked.")_

"Now we get to live this life, a simple but happy one, with all the people we love and that loves us back. To our parents, eomma, appa, our siblings, thank you so much for _always_ having our backs and guiding us as we try to become the best parents for Lily." Jeongyeon smiles at the table where their families are sat. She sees both her and Nayeon's moms crying, and laughs. 

"And to everybody else, our girls, our sisters who have never left us since day one", Jeongyeon sees Jihyo, Momo, Mina, and Sana wipe their tears away. She smiles at her friends. "Thank you _so_ much for being the best best friends Nayeon and I could ever ask for." 

Jeongyeon ends her speech with a round of applause for everyone present at the gathering. Nayeon stands up from her seat then, and hands Lily over to her wife. 

The natural entertainer takes the stage like she's in her natural habitat, glowing perfect in front of the crowd that soon throws her a round of applause.

"Jeong was able to relay most of my message already, except a few…" Nayeon takes a deep breath and turns to her wife walking around the venue, cradling their daughter in her hands.

“First of all, I’m saying this now because I won’t get to say this when Lily’s all grown up, Jeongyeon, you _fucker_ , why do you always ask why I chose you? Do you not realize how much I love you, that we’re married now and we have a child together, and you pretty much don’t have any other way out of this?”

The entire crowd erupts into a series of laughter at Nayeon’s explicit message that gets even her wife, who’s already seated at the table with their families, frozen in place and covering their 100 day-old daughter’s ears.

Nayeon chuckles herself. “You’re stuck here with me and I won’t _ever_ let you go _ever_ again.”

It’s heartfelt and sincere even if stated in a ludicrous and amused way. Jeongyeon feels it genuinely, and between the two of them, Nayeon’s always been the one who shows her love _more_ out in the open than Jeongyeon who’s always stuck to the little ways.

“I just want to thank you, before everyone else, for choosing _me_ and voluntarily getting yourself into my mess because you _always_ never let me go through all the chaos alone. I love you so much, Yoo Jeongyeon. I even gave you Lily to prove that.”

Jeongyeon’s cheeks beet red. “Ya!” She jolts up from their families’ table, only to be pulled down by her mother and reprimanded for unladylike and un-motherly behavior in front of her own child.

Nayeon sticks out her tongue like a child (and not a 34-year-old) but immediately proceeds to being serious again. “Anyways, Jeong, seriously, I love you, okay? Thank you for showing me what real living is, for teaching me how to do my laundry and how to break into other people’s homes…”

“YA, IM NAYEON!”

“Jeongyeon, shut up.” Nayeon hears Mrs. Yoo hiss at her daughter. She lets out a laugh. “Thank you for introducing me the best set of people someone could ever need into their lives. Momo, Mina, Chaeng, Tzuyu, Sana, and Dahyun.”

_(The human cub’s smile only widens at the sight of Nayeon in front of her. “It’s going to be much more exciting now that we have you to join us, unnie. This is going to be like, your introduction to the group.”_

_The shock and horror in Nayeon is completely washed away by the last phrase. She feels a silly smile tug at her lips, a giddy feeling itching in her stomach. “Introduction?”_

_Chaeyoung nods vigorously, beaming so wide her adorable dimples show and melt Nayeon’s heart. “Yes, unnie! Everyone in the group is going to be coming. You’re finally going to meet all of them!”)_

She looks at the crowd, to all the familiar faces she’s grown up with emotionally, physically, and mentally, and smiles. “To everyone here in this backyard with us today”, Nayeon feels her tears prickle at her eyes. “Jeongyeon and I wouldn’t be here without you all.”

Seohyun and Yubin are practically like her second mothers, both already crying in their seats. Nayeon doesn’t get to hold back her own tears anymore.

“Yubin unnie and Seohyun unnie, without you two, I would still be stuck in my old ways, in my miserable old self, living a life I don’t want to be in, being someone I’m not. Thank you for helping me become a better version of myself, for sticking with me through thick and thin, and for _everything_ else _._ ”

_(“It’s not that, Nayeonnie. It’s just surprising, that’s all.” Seohyun chuckles a little. “I’m proud of you for trying to change your life perhaps, for the better?”_

_Jihyo smiles and takes Nayeon’s hand on the table. She holds it tight. “I am too, Nayeon. I’m really happy for you.”_

_Nayeon feels her heart combust with a myriad of emotions, most of which are genuine gratitude and happiness. “Thank you, unnie and you too, Ji. That means a lot.”_

_Without these two women, I wouldn’t be moving forward right now. I wouldn’t be this strong._

_The tensed atmosphere becomes lighthearted. Seohyun and Jihyo only look at Nayeon fondly, proud._

_Jihyo grabs her champagne flute and raises it in the air, offering a toast. “To Nayeon’s happiness!”_

_Seohyun smiles widely. “To Nayeonnie’s happiness.”)_

Nayeon takes a deep inhale and wipes away her tears. “To everyone in this backyard with us right now, without all of you, Jeongyeon and I wouldn’t be here right now, so thank you, from the bottom of our hearts.”

She claps her hands and bows to everyone her gratitude, before stepping down the makeshift platform and handing the mic back to emcee Dahyun, who’s also been crying during the speeches.

Nayeon walks over to Jeongyeon and Lily by their families’ table, and takes the seat beside her wife.

Jeongyeon reaches for Nayeon’s hand underneath the table. “That was cool. And sweet.” She leans closer and kisses her wife on the cheek. “I love you.”

Nayeon feels like her heart’s going to burst. Jeongyeon will never _fail_ to make her fall in love even more. “I love you too.”

Lily begins moving giddily on Jeongyeon’s lap, earning her mothers’ attention.

“Lily wants a kiss too.” Jeongyeon states, pressing her own lingering kiss on their daughter’s dumpling cheeks—the same cheeks she’s inherited from Nayeon.

Nayeon smiles fondly and leans down to softly press a kiss on their daughter’s cheek. “I love you too, Lily.”

The celebration naturally ends with a photo op.

Being an intimate gathering with only their closest friends and immediate family relatives, everyone easily fits into the camera frame in one go. Momo, the photographer, stands a few feet away as everyone gathers behind Nayeon, Jeongyeon, and Lily by the midde front.

Jihyo, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun make a scene and _demand_ to be beside the main family, telling everyone it’s only _unfair_ because they’re ‘lacking in height’ and won’t be seen if they stand behind someone as tall as both Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

Beside the Jihyo to the right are both the Im’s and the Yoo’s, and behind Tzuyu, Sana, and Mina are their other close friends, Bona, Ryoma, Seohyun, and Yubin.

Momo runs back to her place beside her wife before counting from one to three.

“1…2…3…!”

Nothing happens.

Everyone’s frozen in place, smiles plastered on their faces.

“Momo…why isn’t it working?” Nayeon asks through gritted teeth, still smiling. Lily begins squirming in her hold. “I don’t hear any click.”

They stay still for another few seconds before Jihyo groans. Her knees tire out. Momo runs over to the camera again.

“Oh, hihi…” She giggles sheepishly. “It’s on video…” the entire crowd groans and unfreezes.

“Wait, I’ll fix it again…” Momo begins tapping on the camera. “Okay, good to go.” She runs back to her place.

“1…2…3…!”

And everyone simultaneously shouts, “Lily!”

***

(The adults’ party only begins right after Lily is borrowed by her grandparents and taken back to their hotel.

It’s wild, and Seventeen’s Pretty U is blasting from the speakers. There are disco lights spinning around, and there’s alcohol involved. Naturally, everyone gets drunk.

Momo and Dahyun are having a dance-off somewhere near the makeshift stage, Chaeyoung’s choking herself with the flower garland somewhere in the corner, and Sana’s shouting she’s won the Best Godmother competition.

Jihyo _begs_ to differ.

“I bought Lily a _fucking_ jet--…”

“Wait!” Nayeon slurs, holding up her red cup. Her mind’s hazy, and if Lily could see the mess right now, their daughter might consider new parents for a change. “Jeong! My wife! I have a gift for you!”

Her voice is extra loud, piercing even, but they’re drunk so nobody complains.

Jeongyeon’s seated on the grass, legs crossed over each other, finishing her sixth bottle of soju. “Whut…?”

Nayeon sways as she walks towards her wife. Everybody else crowds around the couple.

On a normal basis, when Nayeon pulls her off-shoulder lower, Jihyo would have raced to her and pulled it up, afraid to cause a scandal _again_ , but everyone’s drunk so nobody cares when Nayeon does so.

“I got this for you. And Lily. But mostly you.”

Jeongyeon squints at whatever it is her wife’s trying to show. She can still see pretty clearly—20/20 vision y’all—but her mind’s barely functioning, therefore it’s only understandable when she tries to ask her friends for clarification,

“Am I hallucinating?” All she can visualize through her blurred vision are a bunch of dark scribbles, like the ones Nayeon would draw on tissue papers and the back of receipts.

“Uh…” Jeongyeon still tries though. She narrows her eyes in hopes of clearing her vision and sees a small black-inked drawing of a heart with her name and their daughter’s name written inside.

“Is that…a tattoo?”

“I got one the same as yours!” Nayeon shrieks happily. “We both got tattooed hearts now!”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be posted tomorrow. last chapter for the last day of the year. but i got excited so now it's here. 
> 
> also now is the real see you soon. ;) 
> 
> THANK YOU!


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